File: Clint Did It

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This was so fun to write. Tell me what you think. Also, I want coffee. Cofffffeeeeeeee!

--Yuki <3

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The window was broken when he already got there.

And the floor.

Basically, he was not taking the blame for this.

Even though it was really, truly, his fault.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

"Has anyone seen Percy?" Clint asked, looking around the living room where everyone, sans Tony who was in the workshop, seemed to be lounging, "He said he'd spar with me."

Bruce looked up with disinterest, marking when he was with his finger, "Did you try behind you?"

Clint's eyes widened and he spun around, coming face-to-face with Percy Jackson, who sprayed him in the face with a water gun, "What the hell?!"

"Tag, you're it!" Percy cackled and utterly disappeared in front of him.

Clint realized a second later that Percy was still wearing the bell and not once did he hear it ring.

Fuck.

He quickly jumped into the vents, intent on finding where he stashed his water guns. This was war and he had no intention to lose.

---

He lost.

In his defense, he was going against the demigod son of Poseidon, so he'd say he did fairly well, all things considered.

"Hey," Bruce came up to the soaked archer, sipping his tea. "Percy still has a bad leg, so don't provoke him into jumping out a window... Or throwing you out a window."

Clint pouted but nodded, "Okay. Hey, Perce, did ya hear that?"

"No."

"Fucking liar."

---

Bruce was so done.

It was like Percy and Clint were trying to see who came up with the best insults. Honestly, they were pretty good, he had to admit.

Barton snarled at the demigod, "It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with Thor's hammer."

Percy looked unimpressed, "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you."

"If I had your face, I'd sue my parents."

"What language are you speaking? 'Cause it sounds like bullshit."

"You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard."

"You're proof that evolution CAN go in reverse!"

"You're so fake, Barbie is jealous."

"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"

Steve and Natasha walked into the kitchen and looked at Bruce. The redhead woman sighed, "How long has this been going on?"

"Three hours, I think?" Bruce shrugged, "They're funny."

"They're insulting each other," Steve frowned.

Bruce looked at him, "Like I said: funny."

Clint looked ready to tackle Percy, "There's only one problem with your face -I can see it."

The demigod rolled his eyes, "You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity, right?"

"Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies."

Percy gasped dramatically, "Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!"

"You so ugly, when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back."

Bruce raised his cup at the two Avengers with him, "Tea?"

Natasha sighed, "Yes, please. I think I'm going to need it."

Steve nodded, "I'll take some, provided there's Whiskey in it. I can't take much more of this."

"That's okay," The scientist smiled. "They're fighting now."

"What?"

Clint and Percy were rolling on the floor, exchanging punches and kicks. The insults were still coming but they weren't as elaborate, more like just one words. They nearly knocked down a lamp, only pure luck keeping it from falling and breaking. It was almost like they were really serious about this.

At one point, Percy pinned the archer down and was whaling on him, calling him names.

Clint was defending himself with his forearms before he brought his leg up and kicked the demigod away, "Okay, time."

The nineteen year-old nodded and slid down against the wall, "Not bad. I can barely feel a thing."

"Water heals you really well," Clint said, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. " I admit, I'm kind of jealous."

"Wait, that was your spar?" Bruce asked. He sounded vaguely disappointed for some reason. "That's it?"

Clint and Percy looked at each other with furrowed eyebrows before looking back at the scientist, "That's it."

Steve shivered, "Don't speak at the same time. It's creepy."

"Whatever you say, Cap."

"Stop doing that!"

---

Thor was preparing to leave for New Mexico to visit his Lady Jane when he was stopped by Percy. The young demigod looked to be contemplating something as he rolled an object with a coiled like thing wrapped around it in his hands. "May I assist you with anything, Percy?"

The son of Poseidon looked up in surprise, like he forgot the god was even there, "Actually, yeah." He held out the object, "Here, I swiped this from Coulson's desk. It's Darcy's iPod. Tell her to visit, yeah? She doesn't answer her Facebook."

Thor nodded, " Aye, I will make sure Lady Darcy receives her Pod of the Eyes. She will be most joyous. I will also inform her to answer this book of faces."

He didn't know why Percy looked so disturbed.

"Urn... Right. Tell her it wasn't messed with." He tilted his head, " Well, I actually added songs, so maybe you shouldn't tell her."

"As you wish, Percy. I shall do as you request."

"Thanks, Buddy."

---

Natasha was not in the mood to deal with Percy.

Percy was always in the mood to mess with people.

But, in this case, he wasn't actually messing with the lady assassin. He was just... lurking.

"Are you going to do anything?" The redhead raised an eyebrow at the agent, who sat in the darkest corner of the gym with his knees drawn up to his chest.

He remained silent, only blinking at the woman with his bright green eyes. They seemed to be the only thing clearly visible in the dark.

"JARVIS," Natasha didn't lose eye-contact with the nineteen year-old as she spoke to the A.I.

"How may I be of assistance, Agent Romanov?"

"Is Percy still wearing the bell Clint put on him?"

"Agent Jackson is indeed still wearing the bell placed on him by Agent Barton."

"Okay, thanks." Nope, Natasha was getting out of there because she didn't hear Percy show up at all.

---

It was after all the crazy-ness happened that Tony finally emerged from his lab. There were pieces of glass on the floor and hoof-shaped holes in the ground and he sighed, "Alright, who's the one that brought the horse in this time?"

Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Steve looked at each other before pointing at Percy, who was hanging off the neck of a goddamn Pegasus.

"Of fucking course."

Percy looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes, "Clint did it."

"Like hell I did! This is all your fault, you piece of shit!"

"He's in denial."

"Percy, I swear to the gods-"

"Deep denial."

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