Amara didn't even want to get out of bed the next morning. Not only was she exhausted from the party, but she was so disgusted with herself that she didn't see the point. Last night, Ethan had reminded her of who she used to be, and she missed that. What had happened to her? 

One thing was for sure: there was no way that she could keep the baby. Sure, she would give birth, but that would be it. She didn't want this constant reminder of her mistake. And she couldn't love it the way a real mom could. A different family would love this baby way more than she would, and she knew it.

Amara hauled herself out of bed. At least with that thought, she had given herself a purpose. She immediately went to her computer and started looking into adoption and foster care. It would be tricky, she was sure, but so many couples were looking to adopt. Amara was sure she'd find the right one somehow.

Something nagged at her from inside. She knew she would be giving up her first child, and she knew it had to be done. However, she decided to make a list of pros and cons anyway, just so she knew what she was getting herself into:

Pros

-I get my life back
-I can date again
-I can work away from the guilt
-The parents will love it more than me

The last one made her tear up.

Cons

-It's my first baby
-Lots of kids in foster care don't find a family
-What if the family neglects it in favor of their own children?

Amara sat back and exhaled. It had to be done. There wasn't much doubt in her mind. A little hesitation yeah, but Amara brushed it off as fear of the unknown. She hurried upstairs and got herself ready for her very first ultrasound.

Even as she drove herself down to the doctor's office, Amara wished she had someone with her. Her conversation with Ethan had only confirmed that not everyone would understand her situation. And Gabby wasn't picking up her phone. Not that Amara was surprised; usually that meant she was either hungover, with a guy, or both. Amara didn't even want to know.

Joshua picked up his cell phone, then put it back down again, for what was probably the fifth time. He wanted to call Amara. Their conversation from a few days ago still rung loudly in his ears.

He hadn't meant to be so cold with her. But there was no way she was pregnant his baby.  Surely, if he kept telling himself that it had to be true, right? They had only slept together once. Joshua had had many one night stands, and none of those girls had ended up pregnant. 

He slammed his phone down again, unaware that he had even picked it up. Amara had to be making it up. Obviously she was pregnant--he could tell from her sudden weight gain--but she was smart enough to make sure she couldn't get pregnant from him. And he was smart too, which meant it couldn't have happened at all. Unless she had done it on purpose to get something from him...

No, the baby wasn't his. He was sure of that. She had to be using him. She wanted child support or maybe even a relationship with Joshua, but that wouldn't happen. It was like Nicole said, she was the one to get pregnant, so it was her responsibility to deal with it. It didn't matter what Amara wanted. Joshua was sure it wasn't his, and he wouldn't have anything to do with it.

---

Amara laid back on the bed, waiting for the tech to come in. She was nervous. She had so many questions racing through her head. What would they find? How would this be done? What was her next step?

Suddenly, the young ultrasound tech breezed into the room." How are you today, Miss Gray?"

"Not too bad," Amara said, shifting herself on the bed.

"Nervous?" The tech asked, seeing right though her. How could she be so cheerful while Amara was ready to cry her heart out?

"A little bit," Amara admitted. 

"Well, that's okay," The tech said. "Everyone's always a little nervous, especially at the first ultrasound."

That made Amara feel a little better. But as the the tech spread the cold gel across her already round-ish stomach, she began to feel nervous butterflies, even worse than before. The tech then moved the sensor over her belly. Amara leaned back, not even sure what she was dreading, or why she was feeling this way. But a soft thumping suddenly brought her back to reality.

"What's that?" she asked.

"That is the heartbeat that I'm picking up from the baby," The tech explained. "Sometimes it's a bit hard to hear, but I think it's pretty clear this time. Not everyone is able to hear it."

The tech turned the screen to face Amara as she continued, "So this is your uterus. And this--" she pointed to a little grey shape on the screen, "-is your baby." 

Amara gazed at the screen in awe. It was so small. She looked down at her tummy. It had grown, sure, but up until this point, Amara had had a hard time believing that there was actually a baby in there. As the tech gave her some alone time to be with her thoughts, Amara let herself lean back again, but she still looked at the screen.

There was a baby in there. In her. A living human being was growing inside of her. And despite not looking like much more than a blob on a screen, that baby had a heartbeat, and a strong one. This was a life. Actually, this was more than a life to her. Amara suddenly started feeling sick again.

This was a life that she was responsible for. Even if she didn't raise it, it was up to Amara to live her own life as healthy as she possibly could, for the baby's own health. And what about it's future family? They would have to be responsible and really care about the baby and its future/ Amara was suddenly finding herself responsible for finding a family that was suitable to take care it.

And she only had seven months to do it.