“In a sick way I want to thank you
For holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
You were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions
On things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
When it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away
That I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart
To leave me behind.”

---

64 | hate me

-Chance-

(Since you all requested it, so, why not? 😉)

'What happened?' I asked Lupus, standing immediately in alarm. My body went on full defense mode. My fists balled and my eyes became alert. It could be anything. My pack, my mate, anything.

He went silent for a minute, scaring the crap out of me before he said in a low voice.

'I-I am not sure if I'm right, Chance. But I think...I think I can feel Olivia's wolf calling for us. It's the craziest thing ever. I can somehow feel her desperation, panic and fear. It is like she's waiting for us. But I can't...DAMMIT! I can't connect to her. Everything feels blurry and hazy... I'm scared, Chance. Where is she?'

Lupus sounded almost breathless in fear, anticipation and agony and even I was petrified by now. Firstly, she had left. And secondly, we can't find her. Had she been close, in this territory, we would have felt her.

But we didn't. Did that mean she had left the pack altogether?

Oh Goddess. My head started throbbing with stress and my heart clenched in pain at the thought of her going so far away and I almost fell on my knees right there.

But I can't. I have to find her.

'Try again. Keep trying.' I told him and it ticked him off.

'I am! You bastard! I am trying. Way more than you are actually. It kills me to realize how week our connection is. I can barely even tell if she's even there. This all could be just a figment of my imagination for all I know! And all of this is because of you. You made this happen. You pushed her away. If we lose my mate, Chance, I swear to God, if she gets EVEN A SCRATCH on her arm, I'll kill you.'

Lupus' voice broke in the end and he stopped talking to me, to prevent himself from breaking down.

I clenched my jaw and said nothing. He's hurt right now. He's pissed and he misses her. He's worried, and it is best in my interest if I don't piss him off now.

All because I care for him. Avd I'm sorry for what I did, because he didn't deserve it.

'Should we go to the witch?' I asked him, politely. Not wanting to hurt him more. Every pack had a witch, I was taling about the one in our pack's custody.

'No. She's useless. And she'll only fetch for gossips from us. Try to talk to the Alpha. I'm certain he'd know where my mate is. She can't go without asking him. She can't leave...'

I could almost hear his howls of pain in my head as he shut me off, probably because he wanted some solitude to lick his wounds alone.

I knew that I should get up to go to the Alpha. But my legs were just refusing to move. My body didn't want to leave this room which still smelled strongly like her. I could almost feel her presence here. The times I had taken care of her when she was recovering from her injury came in front of my eyes. She is everywhere here.

I closed my eyes tightly and forced my legs to go out. I have to go out now, else I'll never be able to leave.

<><><>

At the door of the Alpha's office, I was greeted by Reece who was looking down, texting, at his phone.

He must have heard my footsteps as he looked up almost immediately. His expression turned guarded and grave.

"Isn't it too late for you to be not asleep?" He asked, but I didn't feel the need to answer. He wasn't asleep himself. And I had better things to do.

"I have to meet the Alpha." I said and he shrugged, pointing his chin towards the door.

"I'd suggest you not to." He said, his expression stoic, yet something swirled in his eyes. "He's has, as usual, drowned him in some official documents. He's busy, and we won't want you to disturb."

At least he's doing something. I wanted to tell him. But I shut up. It's none of my business.

I ignored his warning. I didn't have a choice. I had to meet him for my own sanity.

I heard Reece say something more, but I knocked at the door once and then entered, dodging him. The Alpha looked up at me, perplexed. His eyes were curious. He knew it must be something important for me to turn up this late.

"Beta Chance?" He asked. His eyes had huge undereye bags that had turned borderline purple due to stress and work load. He was anxious and worried about his pack due to the continuous rogue attacks.

And I was worried for her. I realized, everyone was worried about something. Everyone had something to guard, protect and look after.

"It's an emergency." I said, not fooling around. "I need to know about the whereabouts of Olivia."

Saying her name aloud was not something I had been doing a lot. A shiver ran through my spine and my heart constricted even more if possible.

He looked surprised. Like he hadn't expected me to ask. "Olivia Hart? The doctor's daughter? Ah I see. But why do you want to know about her?"

His eyes bored into mine as he demanded for answers I hadn't wish to give.

"I don't think I want to answer this." I said patiently. But he wasn't having any of it.

"I'm sorry, but I can't share the information till you tell me."

My jaw clenched. He could very well share. But he was too intrigued. Alphas are prideful, naggy creatures who want everything to be in their control. They want to be in charge of every decision and know about every single detail.

It hurt his ego to know that he didn't know something.

And hurting his ego isn't something I want to do at this moment, because the safety of my mate is indirectly in his hands.

"She's my mate." I answered, simply. I didn't know how I had wanted this news to reveal. Or if I had even wanted to reveal it in the first place. But, this was definitely not the way I would have planned it.

Shock was an understatement for the expression on his face.

He opened his mouth one or twice to say something but nothing came out as he absorbed the knowledge.

"Ah...well..." He was speechless for a second before he cleared his throat and composed himself. "Congratulations, Chance, on having found your mate." He said.

I don't think his words were meant to stab my heart. But damn, they did.

It was like it broke into a million pieces as I came in terms with the fact that we weren't normal. We weren't how mates are, how they are supposed to be. We were so dysfunctional, messed up, shattered, almost ruined and rotten.

Who was to blame? The situation? Me? Destiny? No idea.

"Thank you." I muttered, trying to hide the cracking of my voice.

I cleared my throat too, blinking my burning eyes.

"May I now get here whereabouts?" My voice was patient, even when my insides were in a turmoil.

"She has left for The Armour pack, where her parents are currently living and it's been 2 days, so I'm pretty certain she would have reached. Because it's not too far away."

The Alpha started fiddling with his phone. "Had she not reached, their Alpha would have called us. I had informed him about her arrival."

I pursed my lips. I didn't have a good feeling about this. Had she reached, Lupus won't have felt this anxious. He she reached, she could have contacted us because it's easier to contact from pack to pack. She was still on neutral land, that is why the connection was loose.

I tried to be as professional as I could though. "Will you kindly call the Alpha of The Armour pack, I'd like to have a word with him." I said.

He looked at me for a second before nodding.

"She's your mate, I understand. I won't ask anything but I know you two must be going through some problems." His eyes bore into mine once again. He was lying, he actually did want to know more. But he couldn't ask. And I didn't want to share.

"Yeah." I gave a brief reply and he looked irritated.

"I'll call him. We'll have to keep the phone on speaker."

This speaker thing was a little revenge on me for not having given him his fine, juicy piece of gossip.

But I'll take what I get. So I nodded.

Alpha Chris of the Armour pack answered briefly, his voice not sleepy at all.

"Yes?" He said, he must know it was our Alpha calling.

"Good evening Alpha Chris. This is the Beta of The Mercy Wolf pack, Chance Sommerfield. I just had a quick question if you don't mind."

He certainly didn't know about me since it's my father who still controls the Beta responsibilities but he still complied.

"I would like to know about the arrival of our pack member, Olivia Hart. Has she reached safely?"

My heart pounded, almost painfully in my chest, anxious about the answer. I silently prayed for him to say that she was okay. At least then I'll be able to convince myself that these intuitions are false.

But I know that even if he says that she's okay, I'll go and check upon her. I just need to look at her with my eyes owns, see for myself if she's okay, and then I'll leave. I'll go away from her life forever.

His response wasn't what I had wanted though.

"Olivia Hart?" He asked incredulously, as if he was hearing her name for the first time.

"Yeah. Olivia Hart. Daughter of Dr. Hart who is working in your pack currently. She had scheduled to visit them day before yesterday. Our alpha had contacted you."

I looked up at the Alpha for affirmation and he nodded confidently.

Alpha Chris was silent for a while before he answered. "I'm sorry Beta Chance, but I don't think we ever got the information for any such visit. If anything, I'm hearing the girl's name for the first time."

His reply made my stomach drop and my heart seemed to have skipped a beat. My blood ran cold as I realized that she had not only never reached the pack, but she has been missing for about 2 days now.

2 whole freaking days.

God knows where. In what conditions.

What if she was miserable and suffering? What if she had an accident and was bleeding by the side of the road? What if she was taken away?

A hundred possibilities ran in my head and my eyes watered at some of the images I got, of her suffering, crying, dying.

I told myself that I was probably overreacting and maybe it was nothing, but somewhere deep inside I knew that this wasn't overreaction. Something had happened. Something terrible enough to kill my insides.

Lupus must have heard this news too, since his painful howl rang in my head, killing me some more.

I looked at our Alpha accusingly, he had lied. He had cheated us.

But he looked shocked himself.

"Look, Chance, I swear to the Moon Goddess—" he began but I cut his bullshit off.

"Save it." I said. I didn't have time to listen to his lies as I went for the door only to see Reece standing there.

He had his phone held to his ear now.

He looked at me. "I've heard everything. We'd need Ryder now. He's needed here. We'll need a few more people to fight against those who have taken Olivia."

"What if she is not taken and she has just gotten in some accident? Or is lost?" My words sounded empty to my own self but Reece was patient.

"You would have felt the pain, right?"

I shook my head. "I won't. Because if I can't connect to her, I can't feel the pain either. Besides, we're not fully mated. Our bond is still weak."

He gulped and nodded.

"Then it can be anything. But we'll still need Ryder. I'm trying to call him, but his phone is not reachable. I'll try to contact the search party I had sent for him."

Reece was still on the phone as I tapped my foot impatiently. Any moment standing now felt like a million ton weight on me.

I felt like I had to go there and look for her. But Reece is right. I can't just go running around. I have to think systematically and sensibly.

My head hurt and my heart felt hollow, scared for her. Oh, what had we done?

I was lost in my thoughts when Reece hung up his call and looked at us with a disappointed expression.

"Ryder can't be found." He said. "He has hidden himself in the deepest forests of Alaska, just like the last time. So that no one can find him. Only this time it's more severe, because he actually wants to hide. My men have searched everywhere, we can't find him. Chance, how do you think we'll fight without him?"

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT ❤️ YOUR VOTES MAKE ME SMILE LIKE CRAZY 💝

--- 2300 words ---

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No cliffhanger this time, happy? 😂❤️

1. Next chapter will continue in Olivia's POV.

2. YOU GUYS. WE'RE ABOUT TO REACH 3M, HOLY SHIT I CAN'T TAKE THIS, THIS IS TOO MUCH, THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!

3. Do you think they'll find Ryder?

4. Do you sometimes want to hide away?

5. Were you expecting Alpha Chris's response? (About not having the information)

6. Which are the hills you want to visit at least once in your life?

7. What do you think is going to happen next?

I love you ❤️

- Love_Yourself_10_x ❤️