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Chapter 30 *Confusing Thoughts*

~Drake

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

The only sound comes from my watch, the beat of our hearts, and the soft breathing of Pie. I glance at my wrist watch and see that it’s passed midnight. 

Today’s the tenth day. A lot has happened already. It feels like I’ve known Pie my whole life. It’s not even two weeks yet. It seems impossible, but it’s true.

Who would have thought I’ll bring her here? Even Andre doesn’t know this place.

I don’t know when the rain stopped falling from the sky. We can’t go home because it’s dark. Even though I know this place, I am not that familiar. We might get lost, and I can’t let that happen.

I roll on my side and face her. She looks innocent, like an angel. She’s very different from my nightmare of her. This sleeping girl beside me is Pie.

Did she hear what I said to her before she fell asleep? Maybe not. Her eyes were already dropping at that time.

Her lips are trembling and she mumbles something quietly.

Is she awake?

Sleep talking.

“Matt,” she murmurs.

Matt? She’s dreaming about her brother?

A tear escapes from the corner of her eyes.

Before I know what I’m doing, I raise my hand and wipe it away with my fingers. I let my hand linger on her cheek, softly brushing the scratches she got from hiking and running. Her face is soft, like a baby.

I push the hair that is falling on her eyes. My hand has a mind of its own-- it holds her silk hair and play with it.

My forefinger traces the side of her jaw, her nose, and her eyelids. She has long eyelashes. I catch myself before I touch her lips. Our faces are so close, it makes me remember last night.

We almost kissed! Can you believe it? It was as if there was a pull moving towards us, wanting us to get close. And that’s when my cell phone rang, breaking the connection between us.

I don’t want to think what could have happen if it didn’t ring. What’s the point?

The point is you’re thinking about it.

Pfft. It will never happen.

I’m so confused! I can’t even distinguish which is which; my pretend actions from my real ones.

Pie squirms on her blanket; she’s shivering.

I take my blanket off me and place it on top of hers carefully, to not wake her. And then I lie down again, turning my back on her. If I face her, I might not be able to sleep because I’ll just stare at her whole night. It's cold but I can manage. I shut the voice inside my head and wait for a sleepless dream to come.

Without opening my eyes, I know that it’s morning. The ray of the sun is hot, even behind my close eyelids.

Is Pie still sleeping? I strain to hear clearly but the only sound comes from her normal breathing. I assess my position without opening my eyes.

In my sleep, I roll over to the side so I’m facing her. My hand is touching something warm in this cold place. I peek under my lashes and see that my hand is resting on her arm.

My eyes widen and I remove it quickly before she wakes up. That’s when an idea comes to my head. Just thinking about it makes me laugh.

I position myself carefully so we are facing each other, and there are just a few inches of space between us. I grab her left hand slowly and put it on my waist, and then lean her head to my chest. Her right hand is on my face.

I can’t wait to see her expression when she wakes up. While waiting, I feign sleeping. Just imagining her face makes me grin from ear to ear.

After a few minutes, my patience pays off. I can feel her stirring beside me. Still, I don’t open my eyes. She’s still sleeping! I can’t wait any longer so I open my eyes at the same time she finally wakes up.

At first, she blinks her eyes to clear her vision. When she sees me, her eyes widen. She rubs the sleep from her eyes, maybe thinking she’s just dreaming. She looks at our entangled bodies and gasps.

Her gaze turns towards her hand that’s on my waist. She snatches it with her hand on my face.

“Wh . . . Why. . . What did,” she stutters, not finishing her sentence.

Oh, I miss this Pie. The one stuttering when she’s embarrassed.

“What did you do?” she asks finally. Her face is red, like she’s burning because of a fever.

“I didn’t do anything,” I say innocently. “You’re restless when you’re sleeping that’s why. . .” I trail off, looking at her meaningfully. I control the laughter that is starting to build inside me.

She shakes her head slowly, not believing what she saw. “But I’m not,” she says, still not looking at me right in the eye.

“Maybe you’re scared last night,” I say, “That’s why you moved close to me and put your arm around me.”

Her mouth hangs open and an unreadable expression crosses her face. She doesn’t know what really happened so she thinks I’m telling the truth.

She’s so stubborn; she doesn’t want to budge and doesn’t want to admit that I’m right. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t know that I just positioned us together. I feel guilty for teasing her.

It’s not a smart move but her expression is priceless. I have no doubt I’ll remember it forever. Besides, nothing really happened.

Pie swallows nervously and removes the blanket entangled on her. “Why do I have two blankets?” she asks, confused.

“You were shivering last night so I put mine on top of yours,” I explain.

She narrows her eyes and her brows furrow as she thinks deeply.

“What?” I ask, sitting up.

“You position us, didn’t you?” she says accusingly, sitting up as well.

“What?” I ask incredulously. Does she have a third eye or what? How can she guess right?

She scowls at me and her mouth sets into a thin hard line, erasing the memory of our almost kiss last night. “Forget it,” she mumbles, looking away.

I let out the breath I don’t know I’m holding. I almost got caught! Now I know I can’t do something like that again.

“Want to go home now?” I ask softly.

She nods.

I ruin everything.

Again.

I know; you don’t have to rub it on my face!

We put the blankets and pillows on their places. After that, I ask Pie if she wants to have breakfast. She declines and says that she’ll just eat at home.

We go outside the cabin and I close the door behind me. No need to lock it. No one knows this.

As we walk, I notice that she’s limping.

“What happened?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says evasively.

“Why are you walking like that then?”

We stop beside a big tree, and she leans into it, breathing heavily. What’s happening to her? We just walked a couple of yards.

“Are you okay?” I ask gently, moving towards her.

“My right foot,” she mumbles.

I kneel down and remove her right heels off her foot. She gasps at my actions. Her eyes widen as she looks me examine her foot.

“I think this happens because the sprain you had the other night came back,” I say.

She bites her lower lip and looks worried.

“Does it hurt?” I ask, holding her ankle carefully.

“A little,” she admits, “But I can walk.”

“Really?” I ask dubiously.

“You’ll see,” she says stubbornly getting her heels on my hand and putting it back. She takes a step and then hurt herself even more because there are a lot of stones in this path. “I guess I’ll just walk barefoot then,” she says with a sigh.

I roll my eyes and say, “I’ll just carry you.”

Her eyes are still red from crying yesterday. There are dark shadows behind them. I can see that she’s tired but she doesn’t want to admit it. She doesn’t want people to know her weak side. For me, that makes her brave. Somehow, strong.

What will happen when we go home? Where will she find her parents? What’s happening to them? Why did they leave her?

“Okay,” she says finally, riding on my back. She wraps her legs on my waist and puts her hands on my neck.

I stand up and begin to walk then, holding her legs to stop them from swaying.

“Pie,” I say after a minute.

“What?” she asks.

“What did you dream last night?” I turn my head to look at her but she forces me to look ahead. “What?”

“You might walk into a tree,” she says warily. “Didn’t anyone tell you to look in front of you while walking?”

I roll my eyes, but of course she can’t see it.

“I don’t remember,” she says, answering my question earlier.

“Really?” I ask curiously.

“Yes,” she says, “Why are you asking?”

“I heard you talking while sleeping,” I say.

“I’m not talking while I’m sleeping,” she says indignantly.

“But I heard you,” I say obviously.

“What did I say?” she asks cautiously.

“You dreamed about me,” I tease.

I feel her stiffen behind me. “You’re lying,” she mutters.

I can’t help but laugh at that. “How do you know?” I challenge, “You’re sleeping.”

“I didn’t dream of you,” she says firmly.

“I think you dreamed of Matt,” I say, not teasing her anymore. “You said his name a few times.”

“Oh,” she murmurs, “I don’t remember it.”

I don’t know what to reply to that so I remain silent. Sometimes words are the cause of misunderstanding so it’s better to be silent. Besides, it’s a nice feeling. It’s not awkward, and we hear the rustling of leaves because of the wind, and the melody of birds singing above us.

Before I can stop myself, I ask, “Do you miss him?”

Stupid! Of course she misses him. He’s her little brother.

Pie’s silent, not answering my question. Sometimes I have to stop saying my thought aloud.

“I miss him,” she says finally, “Every single day.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmur. What else is there to say?

“It’s okay,” she says, “Before, I don’t want to talk about him because I don’t want to accept that he’s dead. Now it’s fine. And it’s good to say that I miss him aloud.”

I can hear the smile on her voice. “Why don’t you tell him then?”

She takes a deep breath, and before I can cover my ears, she shouts, “I miss you Matt! I really miss you so much! I hope you’re happy wherever you are!”

My ears stung. She yells near them.

After she settles down, she realizes what she had done. “Ow,” she mutters, “I’m sorry if that was loud for you.”

“It’s not,” I say, even though I can feel the insides of my ears vibrating. It even distorts the sound I hear. I hope they’re not bleeding.

“It’s so good to scream at the top of my lungs,” she says.

“Yes,” I agree.

“Drake."

I’m startled because she called my name; my real name, not her nickname for me. What am I suppose to say: Sophia or Pie? Sometimes I even forgot that Sophia’s her real name.

 “Draky,” Pie says, pulling my hair to get my attention.

“That hurts,” I protest. Actually, it doesn’t hurt. Her hands are so soft, like a feather touch.

“You’re daydreaming again,” she says amusedly.

“I am not,” I say, “I’m just thinking.”

She chuckles softly.

“What were you going to say earlier?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says quickly; a sure sign that she’s lying.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll drop you,” I threaten playfully.

“Why don’t you try it?” she urges.

I was just kidding but I can’t back out now. I’ll just pretend to drop her and stop when she’s almost to the ground. I’m about to do my plan when she tightens her hold on my neck. I’m choking and gasping for breath.

“Pie,” I croak.

“You’ll drop me?” she asks mockingly.

“I . . . won’t.”

“Good,” she says smugly, loosening her hold on my neck.

This girl is so utterly impossible! She does things I’ve never dreamed of a girl doing.

“Who has the upper hand then?” she whispers to my ear. Her hair tickles me and her voice makes me shiver.

“You,” I mutter under my breath.

What can I do? As if I’ll drop her. I know that she knows that I’m just teasing her so she’s playing a game with me. She has the upper hand -- just today because hey, she’s at my back! She can pull my hair and shout at my ear. As if I’ll really drop her. I’m not insane!

Suddenly, I can feel her hand brushing my hair. What is she doing?

“Your hair suits you,” she says thoughtfully.

I want to see her face but I’m afraid that she’ll see the expression I have.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

It’s not hard walking in a path where you’re familiar with. I can’t remember how many times I went here in the past. When I want to think and I don’t want anyone to bother me, I go here, or when I want to smell the fresh air that’s coming from the trees. The last time I came here was when—

“Life is so short,” Pie says, breaking me from my thoughts. “We must do what we can now because we never know if we’ll still be alive tomorrow.”

“That’s a good topic,” I say. “Why didn’t you suggest it when we were brainstorming the other day?”

I feel her shrug. “Ideas come at unexpected times,” she says.

“That means you shouldn’t force yourself,” I say matter-of -fact.

“Yes,” she agrees.

We’re silent after that.  The hike this time is faster because it’s sloping down.

After a few minutes, I can see the road already. I cross it and walk towards my car. I put Pie down and unlock the passenger door.

“They didn’t tow your car,” she says, sliding in.

I don’t have a reply for that so I just smile. I start the car as soon as I get in.

Pie stares outside the window as I drive. She has a faraway look that’s why I don’t start a conversation because I don’t want to interrupt her.

It’s passed ten AM when we arrive at Andre’s house. Pie and I get out of the car at the same time. We walk side by side and stop in front of the door.

“Thank you,” she says, “For last night.”

“It’s nothing,” I say.

I brace myself for another kiss. On the cheek. I’m not expecting. I’m not assuming. I’m just. . . Nothing.

“That means a lot to me,” she says. Her mouth is starting to form into a smile.

“Just call me whenever you need someone to talk to,” I say.

What? What did I say? I don’t know what’s coming out of my mouth!

“Okay,” Pie says, playing with her hands.

I hear a laugh inside my head. No doubt that’s the voice talking to me. I can’t believe it can laugh!

“Draky,” Pie says, snapping me from my thoughts.

“Yes, Pie?”

She takes a step towards me and then the front door of the house opens.

We both look at the same time.

“Parker?” Pie and I say simultaneously.

******

I hope you liked this! (:

The song is If Life Is So Short by The Moffats. I love 90’s songs :>

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