June.

I feel like hell.

Whoever invented alcohol and decided to legalize it to the public: screw you. I'm never touching a bottle of whiskey again, and vodka is now my public enemy number one. God, my headache feels like it's the size of Texas. The light is basically burning my eyeballs, and I regret not following my mom's advice and getting curtains.

My brain is finally awake enough for me to try and go down the memory line, and I wish I didn't the second I remember.

Oh sweet Jesus. Last night was a roller coaster. I don't remember the details, but I know that I shared some very personal issues out loud, told my friends to fuck off and let me drink myself into oblivion, don't remember much after that until Mavis turns up, I punch Malu for trying to touch her, then had an angsty contest with her and she ended up taking me home. I probably did a lot of embarrassing stuff after that I do not wish to remember.

But wait. Mavis's jacket was on the bed, which means she stayed the night? Oh! She did stay the night. I woke up at I don't know what hour and thought I was dreaming again, but she was really here. She slept here. With me. In my bed.  And I'm freaking out. I hurry inside the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face and run downstairs where I'm hit with the most delicious scent.

Chocolate cupcakes. She made chocolate cupcakes.

She stands by the counter, wearing one of my shirts and looking as insanely beautiful as I dreamed of her every night for the past month.

I'm supposed to be angry with her, I'm so pathetic.

"Morning sleeping beauty," I hadn't realized the guys were all seated around the table until Jamie spoke up. "Glad you're not dead from alcohol poisoning," he stuffed his face with a cupcake, while the other were just drinking their coffee like this was the most normal thing ever.

"Mavis, if he doesn't forgive you, I do." Jamie moaned as he finished inhaling the rest of his cupcake. Even Nale joined him, "yeah, me too."

She finally whirled around and fully faced me as she put a plate full with five cupcakes in my place and ordered, "sit." I look between her and the plate and she shifts on her footing. "They don't look really appealing, but it's a miracle that I could even make them with the utensils you have."

She thinks I care about how they look, when I can't even believe she is actually here.

"Are you going to faint?" Axel uttered and I send him a look. But then I recall that I've said some pretty mean things to him, and remorse filled my head.

"I'm sorry about last night." he holds my stare, and in typical Axel style he shrugs and stands up. "I don't want your apology, just settle whatever you have with her and stop acting like a sad miserable puppy. It doesn't suit you."

"No need to be an asshole about it," I retort.

"I thought you liked that?" a small smirk took place on his face as he eyed Mavis and then me. 

"You want to suck him off while you are at it?" Mavis was quick to answer and Jamie groans, "Can we not talk about sucking dick while we are eating breakfast."

"You wouldn't complain if it was your dick being sucked off," Nale took a sip of his coffee as if he didn't just say some weird shit.

"Everyone shut up. It feels like I'm in middle school again." I exclaim.

"It was your girlfriend who brought it up," Axel replied, and then Nale rectify him, "ex-girlfriend."

"He never asked me to be his girlfriend, so technically I'm not his ex."

"Right, just the girl who broke his heart." and that was Jamie.

What a good way to start the morning.

"I hate all of you," I was about to leave but I returned to take my plate and went up to my room.

I can't believe this. I can't believe her. She thinks she just can return to my life, as if nothing happened. I spent a damn shitty month, rolling in self-pity day and night, wondering why I wasn't good enough for her to stay with me, and she thinks I'm going to forgive her because she made me cupcakes?

Even if they are fucking delicious, it's still not enough.

I heard a knock, before she came in, holding a cup of water and pills in her hands. She had a passive expression on her face, I couldn't tell much of what she was thinking or feeling anyway. "It will help with your headache,"

Why is she playing nurse with me? She didn't care about how hurt I was when she left. I contemplate being childish and refusing the medicine, but I really do need it.

"What are you doing here, Mavis?" I ask her after swallowing the pill.

She stands by my desk, a few feet away from me, and after all of it I still want to pull her into me and smell her addicting scent. "I have an apology to make."

My eyes meet hers and suddenly it's hard to breathe with her so close. Is that what I want?an apology? I do want one, maybe I need one, but I want more. I want her back, I want to wake up everyday and find her in my house making cupcakes, or in my bed sleeping, I don't mind as long as she stays.

"I am sorry," she shifts on her footing, her finger tangled in the hem of the shirt, it was a subtle thing but enough for me to notice how nervous she is. I hate it. I don't ever want her to be nervous around me.

I stand up from my chair and snatch her hand a way, "stop this. You don't have to apologize if you don't want,"

She tilted her head slightly to look at me, a dark abyss pair of eyes stare right back. I never get tired of looking at them, or her. Every time I look at her, it's like the first time. "I want to, it's just-"

"Just what?" I lean closer, and she pulls away. "You're overwhelming. And I can't find the right words."

I'm the overwhelming one? Is she mad? Has she ever been in the presence of herself? "Why did you come back?"

"Because you weren't doing well,"

"What's the real reason, Mavis?" She bites her lips, looking away. I still had her hand around mine and I refuse to let it go for now. "Tell me,"

She whips her head back, fiery eyes ignited. "Because I missed you like crazy. Because I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you, and I am such an idiot for thinking I was doing us both a favor. I'm also sorry for being a coward but I needed time to realize that it would be impossible to forget you, I hated every second while trying to," she was out of breath, heaving chest but she wasn't done, she softened her tone. Almost caressing me with her gaze. "I never wanted to make you doubt yourself, June. It was never your fault, I'm the one with the incredible trust issues, but I'm working on it I promise."

I remember.

I remember her saying she started therapy, and I'm so proud of her. But again, she wasn't finished talking. "You are good enough, June. You don't have to work so hard to deserve being loved. If there is one person who does deserve it, it's you. And again I'm so damn sorry for ever making you doubt that."

Something heavy lifted off my chest, and I realized I really needed to hear that. So many doubts and so many questions of whys were erased from my mind. Not completely, but from her side, I feel so much better. "Thank you, I needed that."

"Don't thank me for doing the bare minimum." she throws my words back at me, and I smile, loving this moment so much. I missed her.

My forehead falls on hers, our noses touching, and I could feel her breath fanning my face. "You missed me?"

she nods, "I did,"

"And you can't forget me?"

She nods again, "unimaginable."

"And you're an idiot?"

She was about to nod again, but she was stuck in the middle of it. "That was a slip of a tongue," I chuckle holding her face between my face and squishing it. "Again?"

She takes my hands off, and a cute little scowl forms on her face. "Yes, again. Don't make fun of me."

"Alright, but can I kiss you?"

"You sure you want to kiss an idiot?"

I grasp her jaw again and bring her mouth close to mine, "my favorite idiot," those were the words I said before I had my piece of heaven. And like every time her lips melt against mine in the most perfect of ways. It was slow and soft, full of apologies that she couldn't express with her words, and just like that I forgot everything that happened for the past month.

Kissing her felt like falling from grace and being reincarnated all over again, kissing her felt like burning in the best of ways, kissing her was being alive and dying all at once.
I would give and give and never get tired of giving as long as I get to kiss her like this again. It's terrifying knowing she has such a hold on me, but I'm too far gone, there is no coming back from this.

She has me wrapped around her finger.

"God, I missed you so much." she moaned against my mouth and tugged on my hair like she loves to do.

After that we settled on my bed, her leaning against my chest while I ate the rest of my cupcakes. "What do you put in them that makes them taste so good?

"A sprinkle of hatred and a pinch of spite."

I laugh. Only she, would make a joke like this. And with her dead tone, it wouldn't sound like a joke to other people. "Seriously though?" she spins around, her chin propped on my abs. "I can't tell you, a baker never reveals their secret."

I didn't concentrate on what she said, my mind went on a different train of thought because of how she was looking up. And also she was too close to my dick.

Jesus, I really need to tone it down.

"June?"

"Yeah,"

She smiles. "You were right, you are a pervert."

"What?" confusion overtakes me, and her smile only widens. She is so pretty when she smiles. "You don't remember do you?" ah, I must have embarrassed myself when I was drunk. I'm truly never drinking again.

"What did I say? Please tell me I was not that embarrassing?" She sits up, straddling me and I'm starting to believe this is her favorite position. "You said a lot of things," her finger wipes the edge of my lips, probably cleaning chocolate residue. "When I asked you to give me the keys, you told me to get them out of your pocket myself,"

"No,"

"And then you fell down on the floor and when I bent down to pick you up, you said I had nice boobs." she continues.

"God, no,"

"And you called me pretty just after you puked,"

"I threw up?! I'm so sorry for putting you through that." I want to hide in a hole and never show up again. No, because how is she even still here after all of this? My goodness, I really am the champion at humiliating myself. But I'm so grateful she stayed after all that, she could just have dropped me off, and went back to her house, It's not her job to babysit.

She shrugged off, as if it was nothing. "I liked taking care of you, you were cute."

When she says stuff like this, I legit feel like I'm on cloud nine. It's not fair, she is not fair. She can't just go and come back telling me I'm cute. I'm a man, I'm sensitive. Hooking my hands behind her back, I bring her closer to me so I could kiss her cheek, "thank you, then."

"You're welcome, Juniper."