Maria opens her eyes once, then twice. Below her head is a soft pillow, but her forehead feels like she is laying on spikes piercing through her head skull.

Another nightmare had visits Maria last night. Just like the previous nights. She slowly sits up, knowing that no headache will allow her to sleep in. The girls of the Harem are to get up early, and there are some that get up even more earlier than her.

Those who are brought to the palace and chosen for their looks stay in the concubine quarters in the Harem. There, they are taught how to entertain and be lively, from dancing to needle art. And, they especially focus on the erotic arts. These women are there for the pleasure of the Sultan himself, and potentially to bear his children. Even elder sons of the Sultan may acquire concubines, but until they are fully matured are they able to have any children. Ayse was lucky she found out she was pregnant only after Sultan Murad had reached the appropriate age. Otherwise, her baby would have been killed before it left the womb.

Maria remembers the day she was chosen for the Harem. The memories haunt her brain every night. After being ripped apart from her family, she boarded a ship where she was brought to the square market, before being bought like a piece of lamb for the Harem. And even then, she still wasn't done being sold. They chose her and other girls, before giving them examinations to see if they would be good enough for the Sultan, as if they themselves chose to be there voluntarily.

The way she was violated still stings Maria's mind.

Slowly rising up, she makes her bed before she follows the other girls. They make their way to the bath room, and she grabs a pair of shoes to wear while inside the marble bathroom. Maria was shocked when she first saw the bathroom, and scared as well. One wrong slip and you could crack your head open on the hard floor.

As she lathers her hair in soap, she eyes the two girls from yesterday. They are still gossiping, and she tries to not ease drop, but she can't resist.

"I hear the Valide will be setting up entertainment for the Sultan soon. Having a son is key for the empire. I hope it is me!" The blonde chuckles, grabbing a wash cloth, offering it to her friend. Her friend smiles at her, grabbing it and running it up and down her arms.

"It's a shame Ayse didn't give birth to a son. The Sultan might as well see her as one of us now. And it's rare he'll call her again." Maria found herself thinking the same thing. It wasn't common for a Sultan to have a concubine visit him again after she has given birth to his child. She had heard that the Valide had been called again, and that was how she gave the Sultan his younger sister, but apparently it was only for a small dinner, with a little too much wine... Or at least that was what the Kalfa's had whispered.

As Maria pours water over her head, the curiosity comes down as well like the water.

She often questioned if she herself would ever be with the Sultan. She hoped she wouldn't, not wanting to get involved in any of the drama here. And yet, she knew that because the Harem would be where she stayed until they found her no longer needed and threw her out without anything to her name, being with the Sultan was the best shot at making yourself into something at the Harem and redeeming her freedom

But the question was, did Maria want to make something out of herself here?

Beyhan closes her eyes as the maiden brushes through her hair.

"Sultana, your hair is very full today."

Usually such a compliment would have made Beyhan smile at herself in the mirror. She had been following a strict regime and routine to ensure her appearance met all the standards. Being the princess and only daughter of a Sultan helped her always keep her on her toes, and always making sure to embody grace and bravery. She was proud of it.

But now, Beyhan only looks down at her fingers, bringing them in and out of her palm. The maiden sighs, before she continues to brush her Sultana's hair.

Beyhan didn't know what being beautiful meant anymore. Nor did she know what being lively meant. She didn't know how to be any of the things her beloved Kasim had loved about her. From the way her voice carries soft hugs, or how her steps would draw anyone into a dance. The Beyhan now stared at a broken mirror, unable to see the past Beyhan.

Ever since Kasim died, Beyhan longed to die as well. Unfortunately, she was cursed with the burden of carrying two hearts in her body, one of a widow and a mother, in a body that didn't have any energy to even hold one.

She didn't know how to lover her children anymore. What once was the purpose of her life was only a reminder that her Kasim had left everything of his behind except himself, leaving everything for Beyhan to bear.

It wasn't fair. Not at all. When she married Kasim, she was finally free from the clutches of her mother. She had an escape. She couldn't be controlled any longer, and Kasim gave her that freedom she desired, along with love and compassion. And with that, she walked in Heaven on land, with her hand in her beloved's.

Now, her hand is empty and cold, laying in her other palm trying to get a feel of what she once had. But it's no use. Her hands form into fists as she tries to fight back the tears.

"Sultana, your mother wanted you to have breakfast with her." Beyhan rolls her eyes, turning around to face her lady in waiting.

"Tell my mother I shall be having breakfast with my children. And tell the cook to prepare breakfast for them and to bring it to Osman's room. They shall have breakfast there." The lady bows before she leaves the room, and Beyhan swivels around in her chair to face the mirror.

"Leave." She orders, and the other lady in waiting bows before leaving as well.

Beyhan is panting, feeling dizzy and sick. She rises and takes small pitiful steps, before she falls, luckily landing on her bed.

"Kasim, take me with you. Take me with you." She whispers, before closing her eyes and letting the exhaustion of her mind come over.

      Maria follows the girls as they make their way to their class. Every day, except on Friday, the girls have their daily classes. Specializing in Turkish, needle art, and dance for entertainment, the girls only get their breaks from learning while eating and while relaxing in the pool house.

Just as Maria is about to take the turn to follow to the room, the girl in front of her stops, making Maria bump into her. The girl cranes her neck to glare at Maria, to which Maria glares back.

Maybe don't be an idiot and stop midway Maria thinks as she rubs her nose. She moves her head outside of the line, where she sees the Kalfa ,that was leading the girls, talking to a what looks like a servant. It's scary how Maria could have been her, walking around all day cleaning and tiring herself, washing everyone's laundry and serving the food.

"And the Valide would like a couple of girls tonight for entertainment. Apparently the Sultan has already called Ayse over, though only for breakfast." The Kalfa and the servant laugh, and a girl who is right behind the Kalfa turns her head and raises an eyebrow to the other girls, as if to say "Look how quick Ayse works!"

The servant leaves after giving the Kalfa which type of girls the Valide wants, and the girls follow her as she leads them to the room.

As the girls enter the classroom and go to their assigned spots, Maria looks over to the girls who seem to always be gossiping, looking for an answer to her questions.

"I hope I get picked. I don't even want to have the Sultan's children. But to be a favourite! You get money and you can skip classes! And you even have your own living space!"

"Yes, exactly! Falling in love with the Sultan and having his kids seem like too much work. But being a favourite seems better."

It took a few seconds for Maria to agree, and then a few more for Maria to find herself disgusted with herself.

Being with the Sultan would be a betrayal to herself. To bend and obey the man she had been kidnapped for. The man who she lost her family for. It would be a betrayal to her soul.