Chapter-24

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What?"

"Umm..." I didn't know where to start.

"If you wanted time with me you could have just asked. You didn't have to pretend you have something worthwhile to say." He said, irritated.

I glared at him. "Okay, let's start with this. What is Roy to you?"

"Roy was a family friend. He was...is the closest person I have."

"So it is personal."

"How does it matter!?" He asked exasperated.

"You're the guy who studied psychology. Why don't you tell me how things go when people ignore logic and go with their feelings?"

"Despite what you think of me, I'm not a monster who would risk four lives for my feelings. Even if I do feel like killing you most of the time." He replied with no real emotion to his words. Was that why I asked him? To see if I can get an emotional response over Roy? Well, Error 404: emotions not found.

"Why are you so close to him?" I asked.

"It's none of your business." He said sharply.

"Maybe not, don't you trust me?" I asked truthfully.

"I have no choice, do I?" He asked.

"Then don't shut me out. And don't keep secrets." I replied.

"Secrets, I have to keep." He said.

"Personally, I don't want to know about your...er...extracurriculars. But atleast tell me the truth about the mission." I said, I was trying to coax information and he knew it.

"Didn't Damien already tell you about my extracurriculars when he thought I was fast asleep?"

"Yep, well...he did mention something about political connections, illegal documents, arms shipments and some bank accounts." I joked.

Adrian smiled at that smugly.

I guess he did have political connections and...other stuff.

"I'll tell you the truth if you return the favor." He said suddenly.

"I don't want to get more involved in the Mafia than I already am."

"Oh, I would never tell you those things. Be grateful." He grinned roguishly.

"Grateful?"

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm keeping you safe by not exposing you to the other...secrets." He said, almost gently.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Why did you tend to my hand?" He asked.

"I was being nice. You should try it."

"My entire life, people have feared me because of my family alone. My own parents were too scared of my intelligence. Even the other three would weigh their odds carefully before crossing me. Why did you help me? You should have run away. You saw me kill and you're smart. You should know that I am way more dangerous than I let on."

"Should I be afraid?" I asked in a small voice. I knew he was dangerous. But the full effect of that knowledge won't hit until this was behind me. And I knew he wasn't going to hurt me.

He sighed.

"If you were smart you would. But no, you don't need to fear me." He said softly.

"Why were your parents terrified of you? Did you...?"

"My father was always uneasy around me. My mom was much better. If you think my father was abusive, you're right."

This was the most he had ever told me. And my heart bled for him. My own father was not someone I was close to, but he was still family right? No, not family, he is nothing like mamma was. He was a relative. Not family.

"Adrian..." I whispered.

"Don't pity me. I told you this because I hoped you wouldn't pity me." Adrian said frowning and probably chiding himself for revealing his innermost thoughts to me.

"I was going to say I hoped you killed him." I answered bitterly. And it was the truth.

I remembered the small boy I had seen on the internet search. Delicate features, pale grey eyes that shone with intelligence. Innocent. Now buried deep under the skin of the man I was looking at. I felt a surge of protectiveness flood over me. If anyone hurt him, I would make them pay. I don't know why, I just would. Though he was perfectly capable handling himself.

His lips curved into a small, cruel smile.

"Let's say I did something bad. There's a reason they're scared."

I felt a small smile cross my own lips.

"Good."

Adrian was taken aback. So was I.

"You're not really little miss innocent, are you? You have a heart as screwed up as mine." He said, smirking.

I wouldn't harm anybody if I had a choice. But if my life was threatened I would pass off the world as collateral damage. It was my way of having a sense of self-preservation. It wasn't my fault. I'd been bullied my entire life, my mother left me and my father...well, he wasn't exactly a good one either. He shut me out after mamma died. Yes, I may seem heartless but nobody really is, it is what keeps us human. The shield of cold indifference towards people was to protect the jagged pieces of my heart I had left.

"We're you always like this? Cruel?"

"If by that you mean did I always think with my head over my heart then yes, I was never a very nice person. You?"

"I used to care more than anybody else in the world," I said wistfully, remembering the innocent girl that had somehow died along the way. "But people change. My mother died, I was bullied and my father neglected me. Don't pity me. I find functioning without a heart just fine." My tone had turned hard again.

He smiled sadly. "You didn't change. Not completely. I saw that on the plane."

"It would have been better if I had right?"

"No. If you had, you would become exactly like me. I think with my head, I don't feel guilt over my decisions, however harsh they may be. Sometimes it's a good relief to know that you are still human." He sighed.

"In your position you have to think logically before making decisions, I don't blame you." I said.

"You're right. With Roy it is personal. But that doesn't mean my decisions are going to be based on my feelings. Roy used to visit me every birthday, and when he couldn't, he would call from exotic places. He never once missed it. My father didn't know shit about me. Roy was more of a father than Giovanni DeLuca would ever be. He encouraged me. Plus, I think he had a thing for Carelia."

I laughed at that. "Don't worry, with you around, he can't be anything but safe."

"Yeah?"

"You are an idiot for not figuring that out."

"Somehow being called idiot by the person I call Idiota is not very offensive."

"Because it is true?"

"Because your judgement, much like your life is fucked up."

"Rude."

He smirked and walked ahead towards the house.

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