Song - Lose My Mind by Dean Lewis.
Status - Summery song (sort of), this is another song that describes the short encounter she has with Aiden today from my favourite bad boys POV.

EMILY POV:

Today it was Saturday and probably one of the worst days of my life. Not only had Aiden betrayed my trust, but today was the anniversary of my sister's death. The worst day in the world.

I couldn't believe that I almost didn't realize what the date was and I hated myself for that.

Dale had to leave early this morning after his Ma called him, begging him to come in earlier than he was supposed to, and to be honest, I was glad. Today was a day that I just needed to spend alone, there was none of the usual happy chatter downstairs and I knew this was because both my mother and brother would be miserable. Robert had taken the day off work today to spend with us because he knew what today was and as thankful as I was for him, I kind of wished it was just me, my mom, and my brother.

I knew that I would have to go to Luke's later to see Miles, ever since Maddi had died, I had always spent time with Miles on the anniversary of her death because he always reminded me of her, I felt like a part of her still lived in Miles and I think he felt the same about me.

I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. I had woken up at least an hour ago but I hadn't yet moved. I wonder what my life would be like if Maddi had never passed away, would everything be different? The heavy rain is the only thing I can hear, but my mind is so busy.

I close my eyes and slowly force myself to climb out of bed, I stay in my pajamas and slug into Eli's room. Eli was curled in a ball which meant I couldn't see his face, but the sniffling sounds coming from his direction was a giveaway.

"Lij, let's get in bed with mom," I attempt to soothe, sitting on his bed and putting my hand on his arm. He nods, still sniffling.

Every year the same thing happened, mom would stay in bed all day and after some time alone, I would get Eli and we would get into bed with mom.

Eli slowly climbs out of bed and together we walk to Mom's room, I open the door quietly in case she was sleeping but was not surprised at all when I saw her going through photos, tears streaming down her face.

Seeing my mom like that was a new kind of pain, and every year I would see it.

"Hi babies," my mother cries.

Robert must have been downstairs cooking breakfast or something like usual so Eli and I get on either side of my mom. We both cuddle into her and she sighs, hugging us both.

Eli and mom were both crying but for reason I was numb, I was all cried out. I let them cry silently, lost in my own memories with my older sister who was also my best friend.

20 minutes later, Robert comes in with some breakfast. We all sit together and pick at the fresh fruit silently. Robert knew exactly how these days went, no one said anything.

No one eats much and more than half of what he cut is taken back downstairs by him.

"You both look so much like her," my mom cries, her voice breaking.

No one says anything.

"Mom?" Eli questions softly.

"Yeah baby?" My mother replies.

"I miss her a lot." Eli says absentmindedly.

Tears instantly begin falling from my eyes at his words, he was only 11 when it happened.

"I know baby, we all do," Mom responds softly, her voice cracking from her still crying state.

I don't know how long the 3 of us stay like that, in bed, cuddled together, but by the time I look at the clock, it's already 3:00 pm. The rain still pours down, I felt like the sky understood how I was feeling.

I stand up; "I have to go see Miles," I say so softly, I'm surprised they even hear it.

"You're a good girl Emmy," my mother smiles at me through her tears but I can't find the strength to smile back. Eli cuddles further into mom as I go into my room, changing into my most comfortable sweats and Luke's old football jumper. I don't even bother to put on a bra. I put my hair up in a loose messy bun, strands falling out everywhere but I don't care.

I try to tell myself to stay strong, for Maddi. She would want me to stay strong for Miles because I was very aware that he would be a complete mess.

I grab my keys and phone, not bothering with anything else, and begin walking to my car. I keep my head down, not wanting to see anyone on the normally crowded streets.

I almost make it to my car when I hear a familiar voice calling my name that makes me want to dig a deeper hole for myself so I could cry over everything.

🎵🎶🎵

"Emily?" Aiden calls. I ignore him, he calls again.

I try to ignore him again but I get pulled, I don't look up at his eyes knowing that they would be what pushed me over the edge. My sister died on this day, now 4 years ago and for some reason, it was Aiden's familiar eyes that would cause me to break down.

"Emily?" Aiden asks when he sees the state I'm in. I continue to look at my ugg boots on my feet.

"Are you okay?" Aiden asks and an anger that I have never felt before suddenly seems too intense to ignore.

I look up at him but instead of breaking down like I knew I would have 5 minutes ago, I don't feel anything but hatred for this selfish boy in front of me.

"Am I okay?!" I repeat angrily, all my emotions being forced to the surface and pushed into one; anger.

Aiden looks surprised at my outburst and for some reason, this makes me even madder.

"You're a fucking asshole Aiden.  All you do is care about yourself and don't think of how your actions affect those around you. I hate you. I wish more than anything that I had never met you because all you do is ruin my life." I yell, angry tears streaming down my face. I pull my arm from his grip aggressively and he's so shocked at my outburst that he doesn't fight it. With one last look mustering up all the hatred I possibly could, I walk the rest of the way to my car, turn it on, and drive away.

Okay so maybe I had taken out all my emotions on Aiden and I was aware that using him as my punching bag was wrong, but seeing him, hearing him ask if I was okay, it just made every single emotion I had felt today surface.

I knew that my words weren't true as well but for some reason, I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I wanted to show him real pain and I knew that saying that would hurt him the most.

I get to Luke's quickly, lost in my thoughts, and park my car.

Guilt threatens to surface about the way I treated Aiden but I push it down to the deepest parts of my body. I was not going to feel guilty about something I said to Aiden on this day.

I walk into the house quickly, trying not to get wet. Obviously, Mel excepted me because as soon as she sees me, she pulls me into one of the most comforting hugs I had ever experienced. I push my emotions down, I had to stay strong for Miles.

I feel more arms wrap around me and turn around to see Luke, smiling softly at me. Luke had also obviously had a rough day. His usually tan face was pale and his shining eyes were so dull. I hug Luke back, thankful that I had him here when it was him that got me through it.

"He's in his room," Mel smiles at me as she wipes some tears that had escaped her eyes. I nod, letting go of Luke and walking to the familiar room.

I try to block out all the pictures of Maddi in Miles's room and see him sitting on his bed, his head in his hands.

"Miles?" I question.

His head shoots up instantly and for a second I thought I saw disappointment when he sees me. He quickly covers it up and smiles sadly at me; "hey little E."

I hear the slurring in his voice and I instantly know he's been drinking. As soon as the realization hits me, I can smell the bitter alcohol in the room.

My eyes tear up again but I quickly push them back down.

Miles takes another swig from his flask as I sit next to him. We sit in silence for a while, him taking a swig every now and then.

"You know," Miles begins, his voice still slurred, "This day, 4 years ago was the worst day of  my life."

My eyes once again tear up and this time, I can't hold back as a lone tear escapes my eyes.

"Mine too," I reply so quietly that I'm actually not sure if Miles hears.

"Do you think that we would be engaged by now?" Miles slurs, tears falling freely out of his sad eyes.

"Probably," I admit sadly, allowing several more tears to fall out of my eyes.

Miles lifts the flask to his lips and drops it until the flask is completely upside down. He finished it.

I gently take the flask out of his loose hands and notice that my suspicions were correct. Sighing, I place the empty flask in the space between Miles and me. I hated seeing him like this and I knew it would kill Maddi all over again.

"Why did she have to die? Did I do something?" Miles asks subconsciously, his words so slurred that I barely understand him. Tears begin to fall freely down my face.

Miles didn't deserve this. Maddi didn't deserve this. They were both too good for something like this to happen.

"Not at all Miles, she loved you more than anything," I soothe, trying to slow the continuous tears falling down my face.

Suddenly, Miles stands up aggressively and throws the empty flask at the wall. Hard.

I jump in fright.

"If she loved me so much then why the fuck did she leave me huh? Answer that!!" Miles yells.

I'm frozen to the spot, Miles had never spoken to me that way before.

Obviously Luke hears this exchange and comes barging into Miles's rooms.

Miles sees his brother and obviously is forced back to reality.

His eyes tear up once again, the anger replaced by guilt and then an emotion I can only describe as despair. He all but falls onto the floor, sitting against the wall in the corner and hugging his knees to his chest.

"I'm so sorry Miles," I cry once I recover from his outburst. I walk over to him and kneel in front of him, my tears beginning to match the intensity of his.

Miles continues to sob and it breaks my heart.

My sister had died, his soul mate had been taken from him.

I kneel in front of Miles for what seems like days. He doesn't look at me, or say anything to me and the only sounds emitting from him are sobs and cries.

Eventually, Miles's cries turn into hiccups as he rocks himself on the floor. His eyes were bloodshot but I was sure that it was the alcohol as well as the tears. Miles was definitely drunk, but I didn't blame him, if that was the way that helped him get through today, then I would support it, in fact, I was jealous that he had something that worked.

"Emilia?" Luke asks gently from the spot on Miles bed that he still sat, I look up at him through my tears and notice tears running down his face as well.

"Yeah?" I reply, my voice croaky and hoarse.

"Do you wanna help me get him to bed?" Luke questions.

I nod solemnly, getting up slowly so I don't fall. Luke helps me get my balance and then together, we drag him to bed, Luke taking most of his weight and me really just helping him stand.

As soon as we make it to the bed, Miles curls up and Luke and I walk outside.

"Did you want to stay the night?" Luke offers. I shake my head, I needed to get out of here, seeing Miles like that always took a huge toll on me and made it very hard for me to handle this already horrible day.

"Stay for a bit?" Luke suggests softly, I shake my head and Luke nods; "alright, let me walk you to your car."

We walk silently to my car and Luke opens the driver's door for me; "please let me drive you home?" The rain pours but neither Luke nor I care.

I knew that even though he was asking, he knew what my answer would be.

"Thank you, Lucas, but I just want to be alone, I'll call you if I need anything I promise," I say, half begging him to let me leave.

Luke nods and I get into the driver's seat before driving away from the huge house that I had spent so much time at as a kid, me and Maddi together when my life was perfect. I just wish I had known then what I know now, I would never have taken those simple things for granted.

Tears fall out of my eyes as I drive and I actually wonder how I had any tears left. I stop at the red light, waiting for it to turn green so I can go right but when it does finally turn green, I find myself making a left instead. The streets I hadn't been on for years suddenly become so familiar, I had never driven myself down this road but I had been on it so often that I had memorized it.

10 minutes later I find myself parked out the front of my old house, the house that Maddi lived in, the house that my biological father lived in. Although it had been years since I had last seen it, it hadn't changed at all. How could a house stay so strong after everything it saw us through? Maybe I expected it to be a crumpled mess, but it wasn't.

I slowly step out of my car and find myself walking towards the entrance of the house. I had no idea what I was doing, but my legs had a mind of their own. Before I know it, i'm knocking on the door.

It felt weird knocking on the front door of my old house, I had never knocked on that door before, it was my home. Now it was just another memory.

An old woman opens up the door and looks at me curiously. The rain doesn't slow down but I'm glad that someone or something understands how I'm feeling.

"Hello dear, is everything okay?" The old woman asks, obviously seeing my tear stricken face and my drenched clothing.

What the fuck was I doing?! This wasn't my house anymore, I shouldn't be here.

"I'm so sorry, I just- I'm sorry i'm leaving," I stutter, walking away. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around instantly. The old woman had stepped out of her warm house and into the rain to get my attention.

"Would you like to come inside dear? Dry off a little and warm up?" The old lady offers. She looks so genuine and I can't help but nod at her. The lady smiles gently and walks into her house, I follow.

Everything about the house was the same, the same colors, the same walls. But instead of my old furniture, new furniture is set around the house. I look around, trying to get used to this.

"Have a seat dear, I'll make a hot chocolate. My husband is just putting the grandkids to bed," the old lady smiles, pointing to the unfamiliar couch in the very familiar family room.

I sit as the lady walks to the kitchen, I feel like crying but nothing comes out. I remember sitting in this room, fighting with Maddi about who would get to sit with Eli while my mother tried to sort it out. I remember my father being nowhere to be seen, thinking back now, he was probably out with Candice.

The old lady returns a couple of minutes later and I accept the hot chocolate gratefully. The old lady sits across from me.

I almost sigh in content at the taste of the warm drink, this lady was skilled.

"If you don't mind me asking dear, why is a beautiful young girl like yourself so upset?" The lady asks gently.

"Family troubles, boy troubles, just troubles," I chuckle sadly.

The lady nods sadly; "What's your name dear?"

"Emily, call me Em," I smile.

"Carol, the kids are finally asleep, who was it at the - oh, hello child," an old man interrupts, looking at me curiously.

"Brian, this is Emily," the old woman I now know as Carol smiles gently at who I assume to be her husband.

"I'm sorry, I just- I used to live here and I was driving home from my best friends house when I found myself here," I attempt to explain to the older man who is still looking at me curiously.

"You used to live here?" Carol asks in surprise. I nod awkwardly.

"I have some of your old family photos, I didn't want to throw them out," Carol beams as she walks off. Brain smiles at his wife and sits in her place.

"Are you okay child?" Brian asks, smiling a genuine smile that makes me want to tell him the truth.

"Not really," I admit.

Brian smiles gently in understanding; "your precious tears aren't worth him child."

I smile at him, how did he know that one of the reasons I was upset was because of a guy?

"The men in this generation treat women terribly, I can only imagine how horrible it must be," Brian continues.

"Tell us about him dear," Carol suggests. I think about it for a second, this sweet old couple had no idea who I was but was prepared to listen to my boy troubles, I didn't want to bother them.

"Come on dear, it will make you feel better" Carol smiles again, sitting beside her husband.

I smile at her and nod, soon enough I find myself explaining my whole situation with Aiden and listen carefully to the old coupled advice.

"My dear, a woman like you can do much better," Carol smiles gently.

"But you still love him, am I correct child?" Brian asks, the same soft smile on his lips.

"I can't help it, but I feel so stupid because he has hurt me so much" I reply sadly.

"My dearest girl, true love only hurts when it's real, but what is the point of life if we don't believe in love?" Carol replies gently.

I smile at the old couple, even though it wasn't Aiden that had made me so upset today, I felt so much better after talking to the sweet old couple.

"Here is the album I was telling you about, tell me about your family. You wonder how a family is after looking at their pictures so many times before," Carol asks, passing me the album and taking a seat beside me. Brain smiles gently at me before walking to the kitchen.

I smile at her, opening to the first picture. It was a picture of Eli when he was just a few hours old, we were at the hospital. My mother was lying on the bed and holding him while Maddi and I stood excitedly on either side of her. It must have been my father who took the picture.

"Which one is you? You and your sister look so alike," Carol smiles.

"This one," I smile. Instead of feeling upset that I was once again told I looked like Maddi, I was actually proud. It made me happy rather than sad.

"And this one is you brother?" Carol asks, pointing to Eli.

"Yeah, he hasn't changed at all, I'll show you him now," I laugh, getting out my phone and showing Carol a picture of myself, my mother and Eli.

"Neither have you," Carol laughs.

I show her another picture of Eli and I with Nala and she smiles at us happily.

"My dear, I have to ask, where is your sister?" Carol asks softly.

_______

I'm sorry, just give me a minute while I wipe the tears from my laptop.

I will post the next chapter with this as well guys which means 4 chapters in a day.

Consider it my thank you for being so amazing!!

- Jade xx