Chapter 42

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Song - Break My Heart by Dua Lipa
Status - Summary Song

Remember that '🎶🎤🎵' means listen to the song!! I really like this song, I feel like it suits the chapter and even the story perfectly!!!

We had just eaten dinner, as soon as Aiden and his family left we ordered pizza and Toby convinced me to wait until after dinner for our TVD marathon so he could play the X-box with a begging Lij until then.

The 3 of us had played FIFA and I had to admit, I was actually getting pretty good. At least to the point where Lij and Toby weren't fighting over who NOT to have me on their team anymore.

"Okay, you guys play one more game while I get ready for bed but we have to start our marathon when I get back," I say excitedly, you couldn't blame me. I couldn't wait to introduce Toby to the man I wanted to father my kids, even if he was a fictional TV show character.

Toby sticks his thumb up at me absentmindedly but keeps the majority of his attention on the game.

Rolling my eyes to myself I walk upstairs to my room. Aiden's bedroom light was on but I couldn't see him. Closing my window and my curtains I strip down to get into sweatpants and my ex-boyfriend's jumper that I kind of adopted when we were together. And by adopted I mean I borrowed it once and never gave it back, It's not like I had anyone to impress.

I'm about to walk downstairs, preparing myself to drag Toby away from the game but get interrupted when I hear something hit my window. Instinctively I open my curtains and window, knowing it was Aiden.

"Sup Collins," Aiden smirks standing at his window.

"Miss me already?" I grin back.

"You know I do, why even ask?" Aiden winks.

I laugh, rolling my eyes; "is there something you wanted? Toby is downstairs waiting to watch The Vampire Diaries so I can introduce him to his BFFL in - law."

"Wow princess, already trying to replace me?" Aiden grins.

My heart pounds but I ignore it, giving him an expectant look.

"Kidding, mom just got back from Kmart, she wanted me to give you this," Aiden says as he holds up a picture.

I can barely see it so I give him a confused look.

He rolls his eyes grinning; "get out of the way."

I move from the window so he can climb into my room, wondering if most girls have their playboy neighbor climbing into their window at 7:30 at night.

"Here," Aiden says handing me the photo.

I take the framed picture in my hand and on queue, my heart beats rapidly. It was the photo Ang took not even a couple of hours ago. Aiden was smirking at the camera, and I was smiling happily.

I look at Aiden in awe and notice his cheeks flush a little red; "you don't have to put it up or anything. She made me a copy as well and it's on my bedside table but you can just put in a drawer on something, I mean you can throw it awa-"

"I love it!!" I cut Aiden's ramble off, giggling at a nervous Aiden which, to be honest, I didn't even know existed.

Aiden regains his confidence quickly and smirks at my obvious entertainment at his ramble. I put the framed picture on my bedside table with a picture of Eli, Maddi and I that I recently decided to put on display. I quickly glance at the picture of Maddi but make sure I look away before I get emotional.

Aiden watches me put the picture up and smiles at me comfortingly.

"I never saw your other pictures," I think out loud. Aiden smirks.

"Come over to my house babe, you can do what you want and look at the photos as long as we do something I want first."

I roll my eyes at Aiden but begin climbing over to his house, momentarily forgetting about Toby and the marathon. I knew Aiden was kidding before, and I actually really did want to see the other photos. Especially the one of that beautiful girl again.

I hear Aiden's chuckle behind me and soon enough I'm in his room, him right behind me.

I walk over to his dresser and look at all the pictures, he walks over to me and I can feel his body heat from the close proximity. He stands behind me as I look at all the photos, trying very hard to ignore Aiden's presence.

There were a lot of photos of Toby, most of them were just Aiden and Toby but a fair few were of all the guys, and even several of Toby with the twins and Aiden.

There were also photos of Carter and Blake, and even one of Luke with all the guys. There were heaps of photos of Aiden and his sisters or mother, but noticeably non of his father. I didn't blame him though, I didn't have any photos of my biological father and he didn't sell my siblings off, he was just an asshole.

"Why are there so many?" I ask quietly, knowing full well he could hear me.

"My mother likes to take heaps of photos at every event, something about remembering all the good times." Aiden shrugs.

"That's actually really sweet," I smile, walking over to his bedside table where 3 photos stood.

The one in the middle was the same photo that was Aiden's lock screen when I saw it that time on the roof, the one on the left was of me and him, the same one that I now had. On the right was the same picture of the stunning girl I had found myself thinking about more than I care to admit.

Who was she?

🎶🎤🎵

I pick up the photo of the blonde girl and sit on Aiden's bed, he sits beside me.

"Who is she?" I ask curiously, desperate to know more about Aiden's relationship with this stunning girl.

"Her name's Katherine," Aiden replies, also looking at the photo.

"As in virginity?" I ask, I remembered him telling me about a girl called Katherine that night on the roof. I was desperately hoping that the girl he lost his virginity did not look like that, maybe his cousin's name was also Katherine or something.

"Yeah," Aiden replies absentmindedly, breaking my heart just a bit.

"Did you love her?" I ask, once again hoping that she was just a fling like Tifanny, Tiffany was also gorgeous but I knew he doesn't, or has ever had feelings for her. Granted, as beautiful as Tiffany was, she wasn't as beautiful as this girl who looked like she could be a Disney princess.

"I did," he begins, my heart once again falls, "she was my first love, I think I'll always feel something for her." Aiden finishes.

I nod, not saying anything, but Aiden continues; "She was my best friend growing up, I had always had a crush on her but I didn't think she had one on me, when I was 12 I professed my love to her at her families lake house and by some miracle, she felt the same way. We were 'boyfriend and girlfriend' pretty much straight away. It was weird though, our relationship was so different from all the other elementary school relationships, for one we actually spoke. I had my first kiss to her and then about a year later, I had snuck into her room on another lake house holiday and that's when I lost my virginity. When we were 14, nearly 15, her parents split and she had to move away to live with her mother. She was an only child so she still comes back to visit her father who still lives about 20 minutes away from here." Aiden finishes.

My heart continues to fall as I remember hearing about her briefly on the roof that night. If I remember correctly she had moved to Australia. I ask another question, regretting it as soon as I say it; "so you still see each other?"

"Yeah, maybe once or twice a year, if we're lucky maybe 3 or 4 times," he continues.

"When was the last time you saw her?" I ask, again regretting it.

"At the start of the year, she came here for a few weeks during the break." He answers my question.

"Isn't it awkward?" I ask curiously, praying he says yes.

"Not at all, she's still one of my best friends," Aiden admits easily.

"Do you speak often?" I ask.

"Yeah a fair bit, actually, not so much lately," Aiden replies, speaking his thoughts.

I nod, not knowing what else to say. He loved, maybe even loves a girl that should be a Victoria Secret model or Disney princess, how could he ever feel anything for me when his ex, and only actual love looked that way?

"Mills? Where the fuck are you?" I hear from my room, I jump up, completely forgetting about Toby and our marathon.

Toby looks around and the moment he looks through my window and sees me in Aiden's room, he gives me a confused look.

I smile sheepishly.

"Aiden!! Bro, you should totally come over here and watch this vampire show with us," Toby yells enthusiastically from my window.

Aiden gives me a look, silently asking if it was okay with me. I shrug, still deflated from our conversation about the evident love of his life.

"Sure," Aiden shrugs.

I nod and walk over to his window, climbing back to my room, Aiden once again right behind me.

"So how often do you guys get to each other's rooms through the window?" Toby asks smirking.

"Probably too often," I laugh, beginning to forget about Katherine, and planning on enjoying tonight with my crush, and love of my life. Obviously 2 different people, one being fictional. Aiden grins back and Toby smirks knowingly. He gets eye contact with Aiden and stops smirking.

"Let's go!!" Toby yells excitedly, running to mine and Eli's living room. For a moment I wonder how he even knows the way around my house and then remember it's Toby we're talking about.

I excitedly turn on Netflix and set up the best TV show of all time, I am very aware I'm obsessed but I just don't understand how a whole cast can be that hot. I mean Elena, Caroline and Bonnie, I'd do anything to look like any of them, Kat Graham's eyes just amaze me.

I turn around, breaking myself out of my thoughts about the impossibly attractive cast and go to sit on one of the 2 couches. Toby lies on the 3 seater, taking up all of the room and Aiden lies on the 2 seater, his legs hanging over the armrests. Both of them laugh at my desperation, obviously planning the whole thing.

"Tobyyyyy," I groan, he's literally on a 3 seater.

"Sorry Mills, I'm comfortable, Aiden will share, won't you Aiden?" Toby smirks, Aiden glares at Toby, probably because Toby was making him share. Toby laughs and I look at Aiden desperately.

He mumbles some words under his breath, glares once more at Toby and finally sits up, leaving one of the cushions free. I give him a charming smile and sit down beside him, putting my legs over his.

Aiden gives me a look but doesn't say anything, Toby smirks but a look from Aiden and he turns the other way. I press play on the remote and the prologue begins.

Is it just me or does Paul Wesley have a really comforting voice?

***

We had now watched the first 6 episodes of The Vampire Diaries and Toby was already in love with Bonnie and Elena.  Aiden, on the other hand, had a thing for Caroline, no surprise there considering that his first love looked a lot like her. Not only that, but human Caroline was also the typical shallow queen B which we all knew, Aiden was very for.

I wasn't surprised that the boys actually found themselves enjoying the show. If you just gave it a chance then it seemed like the show was for everyone and not just teenage girls. I had always thought Maddi looked a lot like Elena, she never saw it but I thought they looked a lot alike. (A/N - I imagine Maddi as Victoria Justice)

It always hurt a little watching the show because of how much they looked alike, but I had found myself always watching it anyway, I guess in a way, Elena kind of reminded me of Maddi in more ways than 1. They looked alike, but like Elena, my sister would do anything for the people she loved, including sacrificing herself.

"Mills, can we watch more in the morning, I'm so tired." Toby interrupts my thoughts. I look at him and notice how tired he is.

"Yeah, good idea." I smile, "I'm just going to run to the bathroom, and then I'll show you the spare room."

Toby nods and I stand up, walking to my room so I can use my ensuite.

I go to the bathroom and then head back to my living room only to see Aiden scrolling on his phone and Toby sound asleep on the couch, he was even snoring.

I giggle at his state and Aiden looks up at me shrugging, "he fell asleep pretty much straight after you left."

"I'll get him some blankets and things," I smile, Aiden nods and goes back to scrolling while I walk to the cupboard. I grab a spare single duvet and throw it over Toby. He was already using a couch pillow so I didn't have to bother with that.

"Let's go," I say to Aiden, heading towards my room so he can climb through his window again.

"Um Collins, we have a problem," Aiden states, looking through my open window.

"What?" I ask curiously, walking over to him.

"I think my mom locked my window when she brought in my clothes," Aiden smirks; "looks like we're having another one of our sleepovers."

I look out my window and sure enough, his window was closed, and there was a pile of clothes folded neatly at the end of his bed.

My heart beats quickly when I think of sharing a bed with Aiden, I know we had done it 1000 times before but those times there were legitimate reasons, this time his window was just locked and I was very aware he could go through his front door if he needed.

"Lucky me," I groan in an attempt to be sarcastic, I knew that secretly I agreed with my statement, but he could never know that.

Aiden takes of his shirt, leaving him in his grey sweats and jumps on my bed, resting against my headboard over the covers; "you know Collins, most girls would kill to sleep with me, you are lucky." Aiden smirks.

I roll my eyes at his confidence but can't help the smile that finds my face. I walk into my bathroom, closing the door so I can put on sleeping shorts and brush my teeth. I smile to myself when I realize that the outfit I was wearing was the exact one that I was wearing the first night I had ever met Aiden and the guys.

I look at myself in the mirror and find myself wishing I looked like Katherine, but instead I was the opposite. I was brunette while she had amazing blonde hair, I was tan while she had beautiful ivory skin, her face was completely clear while I had light freckles covering my nose. Nothing about me was anything like any of the beautiful girls that Aiden had flings with, I knew I never had a chance.

I did wonder though, did Katherine break his heart when she left?

I walk out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth and notice Aiden had gotten under the covers, but he wasn't on his phone or anything, he seemed like he was deep in thought about something.

I jump on the bed beside Aiden and he jumps slightly, obviously just noticing my presence.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask, climbing under the covers.

"Katherine," Aiden responds quickly. My heart falls, but I ignore it, maybe I could ask him now?

"Hey Aiden, when Katherine left, did she break your heart? Is that why you became a player?" I ask softly, hoping I don't offend him.

Aiden looks at me before he replies; "I think when she left, she broke both of our hearts. I started sleeping around with blondes that reminded me of her when I was 15 and I guess it kind of became a habit. Obviously I don't consciously think of Katherine anymore, but a habit is a habit." Aiden shrugs.

I nod, it was common knowledge that his type was leggy blondes, obviously, he slept with all kinds of girls, but his main 'conquests' were leggy blondes. It seemed that everyone knew that.

"What was it like, the first time you saw her after she had to leave?" I ask quietly, hating myself for asking the question when I knew it would just hurt.

"It was the same year that she left, she had come back to see her father during the holiday," Aiden speaks absentmindedly; "I don't know how I felt, I obviously was still in love with her. I knew she was coming back, she always tells me so I can get her from the airport. Luckily my mother and her mother were really close so when her father was working, it was always our job to get her from the airport. I guess I was just ecstatic to see her again, back then I guess she kind of completed me." Aiden finishes.

I nod, taking it all in. He loved her so much that she completed him, a love like that doesn't just go away. I guess it was official, Aiden would never return my feelings.

"Do you still love her, you said earlier that you'd always feel something for her, but do you still love her?" I question softly, managing to keep my voice firm and make sure it doesn't waver.

Aiden stays silent for a couple of minutes, my heart breaking a little more at every second he hesitates; "I don't know."

I feel tears well in my eyes but I turn around so he doesn't see, he doesn't notice anything and I expect he just thinks I fell asleep.

I stay awake for hours that night, even when I hear his breaths even out, meaning that he was sleeping, or when he rolled over, subconsciously throwing his arm around my waist, I still couldn't sleep.

I knew I couldn't just stop having feelings for him, I was too far gone but I had to get used to the idea that we would only ever be friends, nothing less and nothing more.

The fact was, I liked him way too much, but I was very aware the feelings had a -10 chance of being reciprocated, just a picture of Katherine and I side by side would prove that statement to be true.

_______

MY BABYYYYYYYYYYY

My heart just broke for her.

Just if she knew what would happen next ;))

Vote and comment by babes.

- Jade xx

Heyyyyy guys...I'm posting 2 chapters for you today because the next one is a little different (just wait). But this also means I probably won't publish another chapter for a while. Probably a couple of weeks from today...

I mean as always, your comments and votes push me to update earlier so you never know what will happen if I get some love.

I love you all!!

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