{Gif of Olivia}

Song: Sad Song

Artist (s): We The Kings ft Elena Coats

One day, I want someone to look past my fake smile, pull me close and say, no, you're not okay.

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I had so many chances to join my parents. Too many. But I didn't. Because I am also human. I fall, I rise, I make mistakes and I learn. I've been hurt, but I'm alive. And what a privilege being alive is - to be able to breathe, to think, to be able to chase the things we love. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, it's full of pain, but it can also be full of beauty. And I've had enough of getting accustomed to the pain. Now, I'm on the search for this beauty of life. I'm going to put one foot in-front of the other, even when I'm hurt because otherwise, I'm never going to know what's going to be waiting around the corner.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Neels voice broke me out of my trance, I shifted my gaze from the window onto him. I shrugged my shoulders not knowing what to say.

"Thank you" I whispered after a while. Neel looked at me for a split-second - brows furrowed -before turning back to the road.

"For what?" 

Everything.

"For the drive" 

"You need to stop thanking me. I do everything because I want to." Neel sighed, pulling in-front of a small cafe. Neel got out, heading start for my door, opening it for me. For a rumoured gang-leader he was very chivalrous. Not that I believed that one bit, at least not until he said it himself. I didn't believe in rumours. Rumours are carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots. People are just quick to believe bad things about good people.   

Neel led us to a corner booth, settling down before asking me what I wanted.

"Do you drink coffee?" I didn't like coffee. I shook my head, and Neel nodded telling me what else I would like if not coffee. I didn't want anything, mostly because I didn't want him to pay for me. 

"I'm going to order something for you, whether you ask for it or not." 

"I'll take a vanilla milkshake" I said after Neel didn't stop staring at him. Neel called over a waitress giving in our orders. We sat in silence for a while until I heard something familiar. We The Kings were playing on the radio. My lips unconsciously tugged up, into a small smile. Neels eyes widened a fraction and my smile fell. 

"You should smile more. It's a very pretty smile"  Heat rose to my cheeks and I didn't dare make eye-contact.

"Do you like this band?"

"My mom and I would always sing to them. Mom listened to them so much, that I started loving them too." I remember when mom was alive, she would play their songs and we would sing along to them as she cooked. I wish we could go back. 

"What's the name of the band?" Neel asked as the waitress came back with my milkshake and Neels' cappuccino. 

"We The Kings" Neel smirked at the name.

"I like the name, but I've never heard of them." 

"They're really under-rated." He nodded. He took as sip of his drink as did I. A few seconds later he looks up at me.

"Congrats, Miss Greene" 

"For what?"

"We just had our very first decent conversation" he winked. Neel was so laid back compared to when he was in school. At school it was like he was hiding who he was, from the people who didn't deserve to know how he is. 

"I guess we did" I played with my straw for a few seconds and then did the one thing he asked me to. I looked at him and I smiled. And for the first time, I wasn't faking it. 

Neel stared at me for a minute straight before he cleared his throat at looked away. For the rest of the trip we stayed silent. Neel pulled up in front of his house, opening the door for me and leading me inside. I froze in front of the living room door when I noticed Julian and Julius lounging on the couch. 

"Hey, where did you guys run off to?" Julian asked sitting up. I shuffled my feet not moving from where I was standing.

"We went for a coffee" Neel noticed me and stood up from where he was, taking my hand pulling me into the room.

"If we're going to live together, you need to get used to each other." Neel and I sat on the couch opposite to Julian and Julius. The last time I had a 'friend'  was before high school. Before my mom died. Before my world fell apart. I didn't see the point of making friends. They only go out of your life after a while and leave a hurt that is worse than the emptiness before they came.

"And how do you want us to do that?" Julius said leaning back into the couch. 

"I suggest we play 'never have I ever', I'll get the shot glasses" Julian said standing up. Julius grabbed him by the back of his shirt pulling him back down. Muttering something along the lines of 'sit your fat ass down'. Julian gasps sharply.

"My ass is not fat" He scowled crossing his arms over his chest. Neel pinched the bridge of his nose shaking his head. 

"I've known these guys for around 5 years now. We were in the same orphanage." Neel started looking at me. Neel was an orphan. Julian and Julius were orphans. I had questions. A lot. But I kept them to myself. It wasn't any of my business.

"Yeah. Neel was already staying in the orphanage a year before us. Once we turned 18 we had to move out, and so we did. Neel bought a house and we moved in together." Julius said. He was uncomfortable, I could tell. 

"You don't have to tell me all this. If you want us to get to know each other, let's talk about now." I finally said looking at Neel. He looked relieved instantly. He didn't want to talk about it. And that was completely up to him.

"What do you want to know?" Julian asked. I shrugged. 

"Fine. I'll start. Favourite food?" Julian asked when no one else bothered to. 

"I eat, what I get" I played with my fingers for a few seconds before I realised I had to ask them a question too.

"What about yours?" 

"Pizza." Julian said.

"With pineapple" Julius addded. I nodded turning to Neel.

"Steak" He finally said. I nodded. Steak was amazing. As if the mention of steak was a trigger, my stomach rumbled.

"Hungry?" Neel smirked standing up, rolling up his sleeves. He strolled into the kitchen, turning on the stove.

"You guys up for some Fajita wraps?" Neel shouted from the kitchen. After Julian and Julius agreed, I got up walking into the kitchen. I didn't know he could cook.

"You need some help?" Neel had an apron wrapped around him, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Its hard to think, this is the boy everyone in school is afraid of. 

"Maybe. Can you make tortilla wraps?" Neel asked moving around the kitchen. I nodded, catching the apron he threw at me. After Neel got me all the ingredients I started. As I began adding flour into a bowl, I saw Neel moving from the corner of my eye. A few seconds later the voice of We The Kings filled the kitchen. Neel looked straight at me with a smirk. He winked. Then got back to work. My heart clenched in my chest when I stared back at Neel. 

Remember when I said, I wish I could go back to when I was with my mum? This was close enough. 

I blinked back the tears in my eyes, and continued with the wraps. Once I had made the dough, I covered it with oil and left it for 10 minutes. In those minutes, I just observed Neel. He was working on something over the stove, and when he saw me staring, I didn't look away. That was until he burst out laughing. Like a full belly laugh. And it did something to my stomach. 

"Oh God, come here" he held out his hand. When I didn't take it, he walked over to me instead. 

"Your face is covered with flour" he laughed lowly once again. My face turned red when he began dusting my face with his hand. Moving from my face to my hair and then back to my face. We were so close. Too close. Once Neels eyes locked on mine, we stared. Just stared. 

Let me take your hand I'll make it right,                                                                                                                      I swear I'll love you all my life.

I didn't even realise when the song changed. But it pulled us out of our trance. Neel walked back towards the stove, and I headed back to grab my dough. No words were spoken after this. What was wrong with me. Why was I suddenly so comfortable with him.

Because he hasn't given you a reason not to be. 

To that I couldn't disagree.

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