Pity

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Chapter 41: (Aubrey's POV)- Pity

It was about four in the morning and I had woken up to get water, so I did and now I couldn't go back to sleep. I was feeling uneasy and I had no clue why. Nothing bad happened... yet. 

No one had a fight or argument but for some reason, I still felt like something bad had happened. I was trying so desperately hard to push the anxiousness away but it was getting the best of me. I started cracking my knuckles, a habit which was a lot more prominent when I was anxious and nervous. 

I felt Xavier shuffle beside me but I was zoned out, staring at the wall in front of me, while annoyingly, loudly cracking my knuckles. My attention was turned away from the wall when I felt warm hands over mine, grabbing them before I felt him wrap his other arm around my waist, pulling me closer while taking a deep breath. 

"Why are you so anxious at four in the morning? Everything okay?" he asked while I turned my gaze to him to see him slowly opening his eyes, looking at me. 

"I'm sorry if that woke you up. Go back to sleep." I pulled my hands away from his not because I didn't want him holding my hands because I was mentally too distracted. 

"Are you okay?" he asked now slowly sitting up while concern glimmered in his eyes under the dim lighting. 

"I just have a bad feeling but I'm okay." I sighed while staring down at my hands which rested in my lap. 

"A bad feeling about what?" he asked in confusion. I do not want to worry him. 

"I don't know. I think I'm just tired and lost too much blood so I'm going delusional." I joked, trying to lighten the mood but he clearly didn't find that funny and just looked at me with concern. "I was kidding but okay," I sighed, "I'm good, I'm fine, I promise." I gave him a small smile which he returned. 

"Maybe you just need to sleep? It'll help you feel better," he explained while lying back down as I did the same. 

"Yeah," I sighed, "Maybe you're right." I lied down and got comfortable before closing my eyes. I had no clue how long went by with me just lying there with my eyes closed but I could not sleep. 

Now I'm genuinely getting worried like seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? "Aubrey, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Xavier chuckled slightly while sitting back up as I did the same. 

"I don't know, I just can't sleep." I laughed while running my hands over my face frustratedly. He sighed while looking at me with concern as I stared off into the distance. And then out of nowhere, I started crying. 

Straight up bawling my eyes out. There is seriously something wrong with me. Why the hell did I just start crying? God help me, please. Either the emotions I was avoiding are getting the best of me, or I'm just about to get my period soon. 

Xavier didn't question me on why I was crying like I had expected him to, instead he just stayed quiet. 

Part of me wanted to be mad at that and asked him why he wasn't comforting me, but another part of me was grateful that he was allowing me to let it all out and wasn't disturbing me while I bawled my eyes out. 

After about thirty minutes, I was done. I was exhausted, tired, and drained from crying for that long. 

I hadn't cried for so long in a while and while I did cry after the whole Peter incident, I didn't cry for this long. Now that I was done, I lifted my head and let out a sigh while wiping whatever was left of my tears.

"Xavier, I think you should just go to your room. At least you can sleep there." I chuckled humorlessly. 

"I'm not leaving you." he shook his head. "I'm not leaving," he repeated before grabbing my hand and tugging it. I looked up at him, confused as to what he was asking but he gave me a small nod and tugged at my hand again. 

I let out a tired sigh before propping myself and sitting directly in front of him. "Aubrey," he sighed, "Come here," he chuckled slightly. I sniffed before sitting in his lap, resting my head on his shoulder. "Why were you crying?" he asked while fiddling with my fingers. 

"I don't know." I shook my head slightly while sniffing again. 

"It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it all out after keeping it in for a while, that's alright," he spoke softly. He kissed my cheek gently before tracing circles and patterns on my forearm. 

I gave him a tight hug before I started getting sleepy as my eyes drooped closed. The last thing I felt was him lay me down before I fell into a slumber.


~~~~~


I woke up the next morning with a slight headache from the crying before I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and went into the bathroom. I didn't miss how Xavier wasn't asleep next to where I was but I heard soft talking from downstairs so I assumed he was talking to Ace. 

I went to the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my teeth, did all that jazz. I decided to just leave the braid he made in because it took a lot of frustration and patience on his part and what kind of person would I be to let it all go to waste? 

I looked at myself with my puffy eyes and let out a sigh. I couldn't be bothered to wear makeup so I headed downstairs anyway. Before I reached the staircase, their conversation became loud and clear, so I stopped and listened once my name crossed my ears. 

"I don't know what happened but my heart fucking dropped, bro." I heard Xavier speak. "Seeing her cry like that and knowing that I shouldn't do anything." he sighed. 


"You care about her a lot, don't worry you'll figure out what happened, she'll tell you." Ace explained. 

"She can't tell me what she doesn't know, Ace. I'm worried about her." Xavier huffed. 

"Buddy, don't kill me but I have a thought which I know is one hundred percent true but you won't admit it. I'm gonna say it anyway so don't kill me, I think you're in love with her." Ace spoke slowly. "I think you love her and seeing her upset killed you on the inside. Tell her," he suggested. 

"I really would beat the shit out of you but I think I love her too. But it sucks because I have no fucking idea how to say it and how to tell her." he chuckled. I felt a blush on my cheeks as I composed myself and stood at the top of the stairs. 

"I think you just did." Ace's eyes met mine. "On that note, I'm gonna head out." he saluted us with two fingers before heading out. Xavier slowly turned to me with a blush and slight embarrassment on his face. 

"Hi." I grinned while heading downstairs and walking straight up to him. 

"Hey, how much did you hear?" he asked hesitantly. 

"Up until your confession which I am willing to un-hear if you want," I told him understandingly. I heard it, but maybe he wasn't ready for me to hear it, to say it to me. Which is why if he wanted me to ignore it and un-hear it, I'm willing to do that for him, I mean it's the least I could do. 

"Why are you willing to un-hear that? Do you not want me to say it?" he asked, a little panic in his voice. 

"I would love to hear you say it. But to me instead of Ace about me?" I suggested while laughing slightly. 

"You seriously just scared the fuck out of me for a second right there, oh my god please don't do that again." he laughed nervously, while I laughed and blushed. 


"Do you mean it? Or are you just saying that because of last night?" I questioned hesitantly. 

"Because if you kind of just feel bad for me after the breakdown I had last night, which is fine, you can pity me I'm not gonna get mad at that but I'm just gonna be a little, just a little bit hurt and kind of upset if you say the three words that I want to hear you say just out of pity. Please don't say it out of pity." I quickly blurted out in one breath. 

I looked at Xavier who stood there frozen and confused. "Aubrey, if it was out of pity I would know better than to keep my mouth shut and keep it to myself. But because it's not out of pity, I'm saying it in all honesty. Aubrey, I fucking love you."

Am I dreaming? 

"I fucking love you," he repeated.

I guess not.

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