Chapter Twenty Six

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Blair POV.
•••

If I knew they were spending Christmas at the Heart's, I would of not gone. I guess I'm stupid to not think that they would. Of course they would be spending Christmas together, they're family. Grayson even told me before that they always do. I just didn't think about it.

We are currently walking up to his door, and are about to knock. This sucks. Gracie, Grayson's sister, is the one to open the door. She hugs her aunt and cousin.

   Her eyes widen when she notices me. "Blair, hi!" She hugs me and masks her shock.

"We told your mom we were bringing Blair." Lisa smiles

"Oh yea, I know. She told us an extra guest was coming, she just didn't tell us it was Blair." Oh great. "But I'm happy you're here!" She smiles. If she didn't know I was coming, that meant Grayson didn't know. Maybe I could avoid him the whole time, that would be great.

   We walk into the kitchen and say hi to Charlotte. "Thank you so much for having me." I smile and hug her.

"Of course."

We are about to walk outside to say hi to the rest, they have a huge family. But I stop when I see Grayson talking to a young guy. "I'm going to get a drink first." I say hoping it wasn't obvious I was avoiding him.

"Ok," Emma smiles and walks out. I walk to the bar area with all the drinks. I'm just getting water, but right now all I see is alcohol. I'm sure the water is here somewhere.

"Are you making yourself a drink?" A guy's voice says behind me.

"No, but I can make you one." I turn and smile at him.

"I don't drink." My eyes widen with recognization. You're kidding me. Standing in front me is a beautiful guy. One that looks exactly like Drew and Grayson. Jake, the brother thats in rehab. I offered to make a sober man a drink. I'm an idiot.

"Jake!" My eyes are still wide in shock.

"I'm sorry, have we met before?" He asks. "I'm sure I'd remember a face as beautiful as yours."

I laugh, "Wow, you're definitely one of the Heart brothers. But no we haven't, I've just heard about you."

"All good things I'm hoping," he gives me a charming smile. Charming was the best word to describe him.

"I'm Blair," I reach out my hand and his eyes widen, he shakes my hand. "You've heard about me?" I smirk.

"Yes, I have." His shock expression leaves and turns into a mischievous one.

"All thing good?" I tease.

"Definitely not." He teases back and I laugh. I was about to ask him to explain, when a voice interrupts us.

"Blair?" Jake and I turn our head to Grayson. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't know either." We are just standing and looking at each other. This is so awkward. Jake clears his throat.

"Blair definitely lives up to her reputation." Jake smirks.

"Oh yea, and what is my reputation?"

"That you are so beautiful and charming." Jake laughs.

"Who gave you that idea? Was it Andrew? I know for a fact that isn't how Gray would describe me." Jake laughs and shakes his head.

"You'd be surprised how he describes you..." Jake is cut off by Grayson clearing his throat.

"So what have you guys been talking about?" Grayson asked a little flustered.

"Blair actually just offered to make me a drink." Grayson's eyes widen and snap towards me. "Don't worry brother, I said no of course. Even a woman as beautiful as her couldn't tempt me."

"I didn't put two and two together about who he was. Sorry." I mumble embarrassed. "So how have you been Gray?" I change the subject.

"Good, how about you?"

"Good," I say.

"That's good." Grayson rubs his neck. Jake laughs and looks at us amused. "You're wearing the charm." Grayson smiles looking down at my wrist.

"Yea," I mumble. He looks back at me and the smile on his face disappears.

"We should talk."

"And that's my cue to leave." Jake says grabbing a water bottle. "Nice meeting you Blair, we definitely need to talk again later." He smiles and walks away leaving just me and Gray.

    "Wanna go talk in my room?"

    "Sure." He leads me towards the stairs.

    While we are walking up, the young boy he was talking to outside stop us. He looks to be able our age, if not a little older.

   "That's not very appropriate of you, Grayson." One smirks at us. "Taking a girl upstairs at your own family event."

    "Shut up Derek." Grayson rolls his eyes but smiles.

    "Is this the famous Blair?" He scans me over.

   "It is." I smile

   "You're sneaking her away before we can all meet her? Not cool Grayson." He smirks.

    "You can meet her later, we have to talk." He grabs my hand and gives him a nod bye.

   "I feel like this isn't going to leave a good first impression on your family." I laugh while he pulls me up the stairs into his room.

   He closes the door, and a serious look is placed on his face. "You're wearing the charm."

   "Yea, thank you for it. It means a lot to me. It's beautiful."

   "You're wearing the charm." He smiles at me.

   "We've gone through this, yes I am."

   "So you don't hate me?"

   "Hate you? You thought I hated you?"

   "I mean, yea. You haven't called or texted me."

   "Well, you haven't called or texted me either."

   "I thought you didn't want to talk to me." He sighed and sat on the bed. "I'm an idiot Blair, I haven't been completely honest with you." I hold my breath. Hope is what I'm feeling. And scared, definitely also feeling scared.

   "I'm confused how I feel, I really am. I wish I could give you a complete answer, but I don't know. All I know is that I missed you like crazy. And I wanted to call you and text you everyday, but I didn't. But god Blair, I missed you so much." He laughed, "and it was only a week."

   I think my heart stopped. All the emotions I was feeling on the car ride going to Emma's were back. The butterflies, feeling like I couldn't breath, I looked at him and I felt weird. I wanted to cry but I didn't.

   "Blair?" He asks, "What's wrong?"

   "I love you."

   His eyes widen, he then looks at me with a sad smile. My heart clenched knowing the rejection I was about to face. He brought up his hand to the side of my face, now holding it softly. "Of course you do" he lets out a sad sigh. "Fuck."

   Could you hear that? The sound of my heart being ripped in half. The first boy I would ever love doing the ripping. I knew he was still in love with her. I knew loving him was signing my name on a heartbreak. Was I asking to get my heart broken?

   "Blair..." I cut him off with a shake of my head.

   "I know" I let one tear slip, just one, before putting up an emotionless mask. "Just because you love someone doesn't mean they have to love you back."

   "That's not it, if I was able to love someone else, not her, it would be you."

   That hurt even more, knowing you are so close to something but unable to reach it. I see the finish line, but I fall before I can get to it. I'm scared he will see how much this hurts me.

   "Could you give me time" he pleaded. "I don't know how I feel."

"I can't..." his look of worry cuts me off. He's selfish. He's hurting and he needs me there, to be his friend, to help numb the pain.

   That's what I was to him. A drug, not the one he was addicted to, but one to help the pain, distract him until he could get his hands on the stuff he actually wants. A temporary solution. Until he gets her.

   "This doesn't have to change anything, we won't let it, please don't hate me, I..." he takes a deep breath. "You're my person, I need you. Please Blair, just give me time."

   I was his person, but somehow the girl he didn't love the way she wanted. This time it was me placing my hand on his cheek.

   "Don't worry, you're still mine." I give him a fake smile. A rush of hope fills his face. "I'll get over it, I already am."

   "That's not what I'm trying to say, fuck. I just..."

   "Grayson! Ashlyn is here!" Someone yells from downstairs. He looks at me with wide eyes.

   "I don't know what I want." He sighs and put a hand over his face. "Fuck."

   "Whatever your answer is, I'll be ok." He looks at me sadly. "We'll be ok." I reassure him.

   Grayson looks down at me again to make sure I'm actually alright. And I give him a smile that convinces him I am. He smiles back. He's convinced. Now, now I was the girl who mastered the art of pretending.

   He gives me a nod and walks out of him room, I follow shortly. I turn my head and look at Grayson. He's not looking at me, he's staring off in the distance with a look of yearning. I shouldn't turn my head, because I already know who he's looking at. Yet, I still do.

   There she is, a girl who is beautiful and perfect, smiling and laughing with his family. Standing across the room.

   Her eyes meet Grayson's, and her smile dims. They stare at each other, giving each other the same look. The look of two people heartbroken, but in love.

   Here I was, a girl loving the guy who wouldn't love her like he did the girl across the room. I didn't need to hear what he wanted, because I already knew. I knew at the end who he would pick.

   He looks at me again, with a defeated look. "It's ok," I try to smile.

   "I love you Blair."

   "No, not like you love her. You pick her, I know. You love her." He looked at her. The perfect girl, the one I wish I was. I wonder if she knew. Did she know the heartbreak she was causing me?

   "That doesn't mean I love you any less."

   "No, it just means you don't love me enough." He goes to reach for me but I stop him. "Go to her, I'll be ok. We'll be ok."

   He sighed and looked at me once more, then walked down the stairs. I wanted him to tell me that it wasn't true. I wanted him to say he picked me, but he didn't. He walked down to her, and I knew his answer.

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