Four's Logbook

It's been just over a month since KT and I made it off Nedar, and I joined the militia. To say that my pilot training was accelerated is a bit of an understatement—it's been practically nothing but training session after grueling training session. The simulation pods give me headaches, and my muscles are sore in places I didn't even realize I had muscles. Either the Militia's physical program is far more rigorous than I'd ever anticipated, or I suspect some trainers are taking out their anger on the former IMC Pilot. Still—I think it's about to pay off.

Today's the day.

Dimitri and Gates finally came through on that link-session. I've been looking forward to this for the last few days since they told me, as hard as it may seem to believe that. But I'm not doing this for the Militia—I'm doing it for KT. She and I have come a long way from when we were first rescued—I think I understand what Jospert meant now. I thought I did back on Nedar, but that was just scraping the surface. She's not just some machine—she's an actual thinking being, complete with her own likes, dislikes, ideas, everything. Talking to her is just like talking to another human, assuming you bother to adapt to the more rigid linguistics of a Titan's speech.

Once we're linked, I've been told that we'll be transferred to a squad in the SRS Marauder Corps. It's lead by Sarah Briggs, a name I've heard quite a lot about. She was one of the main leaders of the Militia who helped win the battle of Demeter, the other two being Cheng "Bish" Lorck, and the legendary James MacAllan. I lost a few good friends that day ... though I'm sure she did too. If half the stories I've heard about her are true, then I'd rather not find out personally and become the subject of yet another tale.

That's assuming the link works—which I'm sure it will. I think everything's going to be just fine.

—X—

Tobias walked through the hangar bay towards engineering, his demeanor one of both excitement and nervousness. He'd gambled just about everything on being able to link with KT, and the two of them were about to see whether such a thing was possible.

His old armor had been given back to him, if only to save resources. He wore it now, and couldn't help but feel out of place—the white coloration was definitely going to stand out against the green and brown garb of the militia. He felt torn between wearing it and feeling a nostalgic sense of familiarity or discarding it and allowing himself to feel like part of the team.

Speaking of 'team' ... he noticed three Pilots standing around as he approached his destination, waiting for something. One of them turned towards him, and he was beginning to get a good idea of what they were waiting for.

The Pilot in front, a stockily-built man with bleached hair styled into a quiff, turned to see Tobias approaching and made an audible reaction of disgust. "Oh look, it's another turncoat jackass. Not even gonna have the decency to get rid of those colors, huh?"

Great. This was gonna be fun.

Biting back a retort, he held his pride and stood at attention. "Pilot PFC Four, at your service—"

The man shook his head, his pale green eyes burning holes into Tobias. "Nah, nah, nah. Your IMC rank doesn't mean shit here." He walked up close to Tobias and glared at him, his nostrils flaring and blowing hot breath directly into Tobias' face. "I can't wait for our first assignment together—who's to say that whitey here won't have a little accident on the field—"

"Cut the shit, McFarlane."

He turned to see an odd pair approaching him. One was a woman, the other was... something else. It looked like a new type of spectre at first; but looking closer, he saw that the body had been heavily modified. Rather than flat feet, the legs ended in curved blades, much like types of prosthetic legs used by runners. Their plating was a crimson red color, with pouches and belts adorning their chest and back. The head turned towards him, and the blue light on the front seemed to blink.

"You said your name is Four, right?"

Though definitely artificial, the voice had a distinctive feminine tone to it. He nodded. She extended a robotic hand towards him.

"I'm Vale. I apologize, but it seems that McFarlane here doesn't realize that without the massive influx of IMC joining our cause, we would have lost this war a long time ago." She turned to glare at the other man, and he scowled before turning away while muttering under his breath.

Now the woman looked at him. She had a buzzed head, her dirty-blonde hair cut down to no more than stubble, and hazel eyes that looked him up and down as though sizing him up. "Tyra Crane. Odd name you've got there, Four."

He shrugged. "That's what I'm told." He glanced at Vale. "You know, I heard rumors about something like this, but I didn't know the Militia was utilizing it."

She nodded. "Simulacrums? Yeah, transferring the mind of a human into a robot is definitely a tricky business, but it's effective. Gives me a sort of black-box function—I can just be restored from a previous backup compiled with a data package that gets beamed out upon the destruction of my body. I tell you though, I definitely miss some of the more ... primal feelings of being human."

Ignoring that last comment, Tyra stepped forward and offered her hand to him. "Welcome to the squad. You're our new number four—hey, you're already fitting in!"

Opting not to comment on the poor joke, he just nodded and looked at the pair of them. "Glad to be a part of it. Who's the commanding officer?"

Vale nodded her head toward him with a slight whirr of machinery. "You're lookin' at her."

He gestured behind her towards the engineering bay. "In that case, ma'am—permission to leave? I have an urgent appointment—"

"Well, of course you do!" she exclaimed, slapping him on the shoulder and dragging him along with her. "That's why we're here, aren't we? To see if our new meat is all bark or if he's got any bite."

"What?"

Tyra waved for McFarlane to follow, and then fell into step alongside them. "Your whole ultimatum thing with Gates—word gets around fast on a ship, and man have you got some balls to pull a stunt like that with her."

His confidence was draining with every second she kept speaking. "Come again?"

"Nobody talks like that to her and gets away with it," she elaborated. "She's the leader of one of the best merc factions in the frontier—you don't get that kind of title without a reputation to uphold, and you did a number on hers with that trick of yours."

He swallowed hard. "I didn't think the 6-4 really counted themselves as mercenaries—"

Vale scoffed. "Just because they don't work for the highest bidder doesn't mean they aren't mercs. Call 'em what you want, killers with a conscience or whatever—but make no mistake, they've earned their prestige."

From behind him, McFarlane leaned in and rather smugly whispered, "That means you're gonna pay for that little show of yours—one way or another."

This was some welcome to a new squad, he could at least say that much.

He had a feeling it was about to get just a bit more interesting, however, as the four of them entered the engineering bay and saw a crowd of people standing there waiting and talking amongst themselves. Once they noticed the quartet's arrival, some of them became silent while others only increased in volume. Near the back of the room, he could see who he was actually here for; KT, and the Ion seemed rather unsettled by all the unwanted attention.

"Told you word gets 'round fast," Tyra muttered with a smirk.

Next to KT, he saw Gates with her arms crossed over her chest. Despite the woman always wearing a helmet, she had the uncanny nature of almost perfectly projecting whatever expression she had on under that mask, and right now he was fairly sure it was the grin of a wolf as the sheep entered its den.

"Usually link-sessions are private affairs," she called out to him, "but since you seemed so confident in your ability, I decided that we might as well show the others how a proper Pilot links with a Titan." She suddenly brought a hand to her chin in a gesture of mock-thoughtfulness. "You have linked with a Titan before ... haven't you?"

He didn't answer.

She shrugged. "Oh, well—I got you a link-session, you fight for us no matter the outcome. That was the deal—and make no mistake, I won't be the kind and understanding type if you try to back out when this doesn't go your way—"

"If this doesn't go my way," he countered, his eyes narrowing.

A hush fell over the congregation, and Vale and Tyra took a few noticeable steps away from him. Gates stiffened at his comeback, but recovered quickly. "Well, we'll just see about that, won't we? Let's get this show on the road."

KT's optic was staring at him with a completely open aperture, analogous to someone's eyes widening into dinner plates. He gave a single reassuring nod, and then walked forward to join her at the back of the room.

"Hey. How's it going?"

"It could be better," she hissed back at him. "I'd recommend not angering the Captain, but you seem determined to do exactly that. She's a highly decorated soldier—"

"Yeah, so I've been told," he acknowledged, motioning for her to quiet down. "Give me a minute."

She tilted her optic casing quizzically as he stepped away and approached Gates. The woman waited there patiently, and he thought about all the things he could say—many of which could get him in even bigger trouble, but he wasn't exactly focusing on that at the moment. She was setting them up for failure, and he wanted nothing more than to spit in her face for it. He took a deep breath.

"I need your help."

There was a visible jerk in her gaze as she performed a double take, obviously having not expected that. "You want my help? And why would—"

"I told you I'd fight for you," he whispered. "I meant that—regardless of what happens, I will. But if this link doesn't work, then KT's core gets wiped. You don't like me, and that's fine—but this isn't about me, it's about her. I just want to keep that from happening."

She was silent for a few moments, and for a second he thought she was going to flat-out refuse him. But finally, she gave a quiet nod of agreement, and he allowed himself to breathe in relief.

Gates guided him over to KT and gestured for the Titan to open her hatch. "The most important thing in a neural link between Pilot and Titan is harmony. On the battlefield, you'll act as an extension of one another rather than as separate entities. Trust is an essential component—without it, there is no bond."

Sighing softly as the hydraulic seals released their grip, the cockpit door on her torso opened. Tobias looked at the seat and controls which awaited him, and felt a trill of anticipation course through him. He'd done all the simulations—but this was the real thing, and he wasn't sure if he was ready.

KT kneeled down and sat unmoving. "Awaiting your entry, Pilot."

Okay, now he was ready.

Gripping the edges of the frame, he lifted himself in and spun around to seat himself properly. Outside, he saw everyone looking on in apprehension—he was sure some of them were taking bets on whether or not he succeeded—

"Don't focus on them," Gates ordered, shaking him out of his thoughts. "They're not important—all that matters right now is you and your Titan."

Your Titan.

He nodded, gave a shaky exhalation, and closed his eyes to steady his nerves. Satisfied with his performance, Gates banged twice on the side and KT closed the hatch. It was pitch black for a moment before the lights of the monitors and various devices within lit up and cast differing glows of blue, red, and green illumination throughout the cabin.

Through the internal speakers, he heard Gates as she continued to issue instructions, "Relax and block out any distractions. Don't think of yourself as being inside a Titan—you are the Titan. Let her arm become your arm—let her legs become your legs."

He did as she said, taking deep, steady breaths and allowing himself to picture KT's arms—his arms—stretching forward and reaching towards Gates.

KT noticed his state. "On your word, Pilot."

He gave it one more moment of pause, then nodded. "I'm ready."

"Initiating neural-link ..."

Tobias waited, but didn't feel anything. "KT? Is it—"

A sudden flare of blinding pain shot through his skull, rendering him incapable of sight for a moment as his brain tried desperately to process the trauma through his shock. Behind his eyes, he felt something akin to a firecracker exploding as random images began to play through his mind—memories of that fateful night on Nedar.

A rifleman screaming as a 40mm projectile tore through his lower body like it was paper—

The concussive force of the grenade blasting him backwards into the snow where he blacked out—

The dropship full of his team exploding as the Militia Titan detonated its nuclear core—

But not all of the images were ones he recognized. Others began to play, scenes that he had no recollection of ever seeing before ...

An alarm blaring as enemy dropships began to invade the skies, desperately searching for her Pilot—

Allowing her Pilot to disembark to help cover the squads of riflemen as they were cut down by IMC infantry—

Fighting off a Titan and turning only to see an enemy Pilot shooting him. Crying out in anguish as she watched him crumple lifelessly into the snow—

"Shut it down! Titan, shut it down!"

Mercifully, the pain ceased and he felt his muscles turn to jelly as he slid down in his seat. After a moment, the hatch opened and he became vaguely aware of the Captain leaning in. "Four?! Four, are you alright?"

He gurgled incomprehensibly for a moment before regaining control of his vocal cords. "Yep ... I'll just be a minute ..."

Outside, he could hear the murmurs of the gathered Pilots and grunts, looking on to see what exactly had happened. She reached in and lifted his arm onto her shoulder as she began to help ease him out of the cockpit. "I'm sorry, Four—but I told you, a Titan's mind just isn't meant for multiple links—"

"No," he suddenly coughed, and jerked away from her. "Give me one more shot! I know I can do this, I could feel it—"

She hurried to brace him as he began to lean too much to one side. "Absolutely not, do you know how erratic your vitals were just now? If you'd stayed in there any longer, you could have been put into cardiac arrest—"

"One more chance," he begged, staring into the expressionless glass of her visor. "I think I know what went wrong, please—for her."

Gates' fists clenched tightly for a moment, looking around at the crowd which awaited to see just what she'd do. Did she stick to her guns and show the rookie who was boss, or did she let her reputation get tarnished just a bit more?

She sighed angrily. "One more chance. That's it, Four."

He nodded gratefully. "Thank you."

She gestured back at KT, and he wasted no time in jumping back into the seat while KT closed the hatch.

He sat back, sighing and looking around absentmindedly. "Those memories I saw ... those were yours, right?"

"Yes."

There was a distinct hush in her tone that he hadn't heard since he'd first met her—and now understood why. "I saw myself as you saw me—an enemy ... a monster."

"I'm sorry," she whispered back to him.

He shook his head slowly. "No, I'm sorry. I felt how it feels to have a Pilot- and to lose one. How being only one half of a two-sided bond feels. I should have expected that the link would fail because of me—"

"The link did not fail because of how I saw you."

He raised an eyebrow. "How can that not be it? I'm the enemy, the one who took your Pilot away—"

"No. You are my friend, the one who helped me survive on Nedar and risked his already tenuous position with the Militia to keep me from being decommissioned. The link failed ... because of how I see you now."

"... What?"

There was a long pause. "You have been kind to me, Four. We have grown closer as a team, and ... I have come to admire and respect you." She cut out momentarily as she gathered the courage to speak her next words.

"I do not wish to lose another Pilot."

It clicked in his head at last—she wasn't rejecting the link due to hating him, it was due to her fondness of him. He wished he was able to simply think of the right words to say in response, but nothing came to mind. In the end, he sighed in resignation and opted to simply speak from the heart.

"KT ... I know that this wasn't what either of us envisioned for ourselves. But whatever this is, this strange circumstance we find ourselves in—it feels right. We can't focus on our past—the only way this works is if we trust each other enough to have a future."

She said nothing for a few seconds, contemplating his words and their meaning. Finally, she said with some determination, "I understand. Ready to re-attempt neural-link on your word."

He gave a small smile as he prepared for what was to come, and sat back snugly in the seat. "Let's do this."

"Initiating neural-link ..."

The pain came again, but this time he was ready for it, and it was far more bearable than it had been before. Once more, random images hijacked his mind—but they were of different memories.

She sees the Pilot next to her freezing as his suit's functions fail due to the cold. Changing her pace to match his, she protects him from the biting wind—

He repairs the communications array but is suddenly thrown off the roof. She darts forward to catch him, determined to save his life for reasons unknown to her—

As she confesses her self-doubt and fears, he comforts her and reassures her like no one has before—

Though she is lined up for decommission, he stands against the Captain and fights to save her life—

He calls her a friend ... and she finds that she considers him a friend too.

With a choking gasp, he heaved deeply and struggled to correct his breathing as well as lower his racing heart rate. But the pain had disappeared, replaced instead with a feeling as though he'd had an emptiness in his mind that he hadn't even known was there—and it was no longer empty.

"Neural-link established."

In front of him, the ocular systems activated and he was able to look at Gates and the rest of the crowd as they stared on in shock at what had just happened. Slowly, he tested his movement and watched as two metal arms matched his own and extended themselves out in front. He looked at them in wonder and amazement, hardly believing that it had worked despite the obvious proof before him.

A dull banging could be heard on the exterior of the chassis, and Gates' voice called out, "Four? You coming out of there, or what?"

Opening up the hatch, the crowd finally broke their stunned silence and entered into a raucous of chaos and random noise. But pleasantly, it sounded like some of it was