"What would you like to promise to your mate and bond?"

Alpha Tophet and I sit across from one another, and Senet sits at the end of the table, to my right. Although Senet is asking the question to both of us, I keep my gaze on my hands as they intertwine on the table in front of me. What would I like to promise? The question makes me rub my feet together — secretly slipped out of my shoes. They try to fight the tickle crawling up my leg.

Tophet clears his throat to throw out a comment. "I will promise to protect Brea and our bond for as long as I live," He musters.

"That is a very respectable promise." Senet nods wisely. "Alpha Pryor? Is anything coming to mind? Remember, this practice is only to gain a sense of what you will say during the ceremony tonight. It is not set in stone just yet."

I bite my cheek and look up. "I can promise to be patient with Alexei. I can promise to redirect him and our bond if one were to stray from the Goddess' path."

"Interesting. We should encourage one another to act righteously. How about truth? We may want to promise to be truthful. We may want to promise an everlasting love. These are common themes seen during this ceremony. And with an Alpha, or in this case, two Alphas, you may want to promise to care for and preserve your packs together."

Our packs together — if I promise that, he'll think I've made up my mind.

"I promise," my hand tremors, "to cherish Alexei and our bond."

Senet smiles. "Cherish — that is a wonderful word to use."

I can see it on Tophet's face — the boredom. This is the last thing he wants to do, but he's dedicated to our reputation, or, at least, to the grandiose picture he is trying to paint of it. Meanwhile, forcing out these pretty promises has me trying to smell painted flowers.

My hair — left plain for now — rests along my arms and chest. Tophet's distracted gaze travels to the very ends. "I'll promise to love her, my mate," he says, "my gift from the Goddess, righteously."

"Let us continue with this idea; what we would like the other to promise."

"Well, I would like Alexei to be more mindful of my wants and opinions."

"I would like Brea to choose her advisors more carefully," he counters.

I straighten my back. "Alexei should be less judgmental toward my family."

"Brea may want to promise to be trustworthy."

"I would like Alexei to listen when I speak — truly listen. I would like him to stop treating me like a child, like a shallow, naive, emotional, little girl. I am not raising my voice because I am immature; I am raising my voice because I'm frustrated and unsure... and ignored!"

I take a shaky breath then stand. "I have to get ready. Unlike Alpha Tophet, I have to wear a dress made of metal and rocks tonight."

I storm out of the otherwise empty drawing-room, no longer dedicated to my mated persona. Despite having her private apartment here, Tabitha waits for me in my own while Tophet holds our meetings. This meeting in particular was to prepare our speeches, or promises, for the most important part of the ceremony. Senet was supposed to help us with what to say, but his approach was less direct than I had hoped.

What I really wanted was for the priest to hand me a piece of parchment with my promise written for me.

My guard on duty today — Dorian — opens my chamber doors, and I effortlessly stride through. Tabitha lays along the divan and rises only slightly at the sight of me. "That was one of the faster ones," she says while lowering then passively waving a hand. "Your dress is still off being polished."

I slump into the armchair next to me.

"So? Do you know what you're going to say tonight?"

"Not even a word," I murmur.

"Perhaps I should burn something — for luck."

"Perhaps we should burn the temple."

Tabitha teeters her head and sits upright. "We'll need to be in good graces with the temple if we're going to use it in our favor."

I sigh. "I just want to be home."

"And we will be soon enough."

"I'm tired of waiting, and I'm tired of pretending. Every time I'm with someone for the ceremony, I have to put on this smile and talk about Tophet as though I don't hate him. But I'm so tired of talking. I-I just want to feel like myself." I turn my chin and hold my tongue before my tone crescendos again.

I rise from the armchair. "Sorry. I think I need to rest for a bit. Will you wake me when my dress comes?"

"Do you need me to brew you tea? Something relaxing with one or two special ingredients; I've brought the essentials with me."

"No, don't bother. I just didn't sleep very well last night."

She releases the braid she was stroking. "Alright — go on then — I'll wake you when the dress is delivered. You're going to need your wits for the ceremony."

"I'll try to find them," I say and leave into the dim bedchamber. Maybe I will feel secure enough to sleep with her here.

~•~

The carriage rattles beneath us as it rolls along the cobblestone road. Daylight wears away, and the city falls into a lull. I watch the window as Tabitha converses with the people in her head across from me. Her eyes are closed, and her mouth rests in a flat line. She's found a gown from some crack in the fortress walls; it's a black dress, of course.

The dress of jewels itches my scar under my cloak, and I pray the thing hasn't been blessed to fend off my blood. My heart pumps heavily as if pushing my blood against it. I think my body wants to tear it off. "We're here," I say.

The carriage slows a moment later, and Tabitha opens her eyes. She peers out the window to scale the building. "Looks like the one at home."

The coachman opens the door, and I am first to step out. I grip my cloak and gather the fabric to make sure Tabitha doesn't accidentally step on it. Once on the ground, I have a good look at my surroundings. Two wolves sit obediently on either side of the temple's main entrance. They watch like stone statues, seeing all from the top of the stairs. Tabitha joins me and scoffs.

"You'll protect me from the monsters inside, won't you? One look and they'll all jump to bite my head off," she says.

"Now is not the time for dramatics. Besides, no one is here yet. The ceremony doesn't officially start for another hour."

"And when it does start and all those Alphas, Lunas, and high-borns see a witch at your side? What then?"

I look at her. "Then they'll know not to say anything."

"It's not their words I'm worried about."

"Come on," I say and link our arms. "You're the only person who's here for me; you're all I've got."

As we climb the steps, she looks ahead. "A Moon Goddess's temple just isn't a place for a witch. I'd be better off watching from the glass roof all those stories up than going inside."

We simultaneously halt at the open entryway. "It's not like you'll burst into flames upon entering."

"I've never tried."

My eyes widen. "In all your three hundred years?"

"Why would I? I haven't lived so long by being so idiotic."

I move onto the mosaic of tiles marking what is and is not holy. "The Goddess wouldn't be so cruel. She's probably happy to see you here."

Tabitha whispers an incantation, holds her favorite silver pendant, then steps. We wait another moment. "Well, the Goddess is letting me watch," she concludes.

"Great, now we've got to get moving. Senet is waiting for me."

I untie my cloak and cast it over my arm only for an attendant to take it for storing. Tabitha hands over her cloak as well then lays my hair flat along my back.

"Can you see it?"

"Not even a slice," she assures me.

We carry on across the entryway until the corridor opens into the main hall. Here, rows of stone benches surround the raised platform in the center of the hall which is circular and detailed with a million fragments to look like the moon. The craftsmanship is bewildering — the entire temple shows a dedication to the Goddess unmatched by any living thing. Who placed each shard of tile into the floor and brushed each stroke of paint on the walls? Who lived and died in this room just to express their undying love for their creator — a creator who never seems to explain herself or her strategic moves?

Large, geometric stars hang from the ceiling by chains to glitter and shine senselessly. I look up to one and its bottom point that aims directly at my being. They're made of metal and glass and gold and quartz and I wish to spend the entirety of the ceremony up there with them. The ability to hide is a luxury that I don't have, however.

"Ah, Alpha Pryor."

I peer over my shoulder. Senet walks toward me with his slight limp, and Tophet follows patiently behind. Two other men accompany — a pair that I've noticed about the keep, the kind of men that leave Tophet's side when I enter the meeting room. My chest turns to stone the second his eyes consume me. The bond revives, and I nearly rub my heart to calm it.

"I apologize for being a bit late," I say and move around the platform. "My hair kept tangling with my gown."

He is unlike I have ever seen him; no more loose shirts or untied locks. He has been polished and dressed finely and I silently reprimand myself for staring.

Senet admires the dress. "There is a painting of your great grandmother in this very gown," he tells Tophet. "She wore it to her own ceremony, and she loved it so very much that she had a painting commissioned to hang in the old council room. She wanted to watch over her mate as he strategized his wars."

Tophet looks at me.

Senet motions to Tabitha a few feet behind. "My advisor," I say. "She is simply here to watch."

I glance at her and wear my face tightly. Senet looks over her then continues with a split concentration. He grunts. "I shall review the process and tell you both where to stand when it is time."

I place Tabitha in the first row then listen as Senet prepares us. Until our guests have gathered, and Senet has said his piece, Tophet and I must wait in the hallway leading to the ambiguous back rooms of the temple — out of sight. But we aren't left alone. As people arrive, Senet and Tophet's men come with an update or a hushed message for their Alpha. I wait against the wall and panic internally over my lack of a prepared speech. I should have written some fitting lines on a scrap of parchment to keep up my sleeve.

The space beyond fills with voices and footsteps and shuffling dresses. Senet stops by one last time before everything commences, and I feel my stomach cramp. I may be an Alpha, but I am not one to speak in front of crowds. I like functioning behind doors where there's no one to challenge my choices but Tabitha.

My eyes hesitate to look at him. We are so rarely alone, but now we are — alone, just beyond the reach of a hundred people. My dress somehow becomes heavier.

"Do you know your promises?" He asks lowly.

I find the willpower to look and hold. "Some things."

"And they're appropriate?"

"They'll get the job done."

The unseen crowd quiets. I shut my lips to listen, and Senet starts to give his welcoming. "What will you call me?" I ask.

"Brea," he says.

"Then I'll say your first name."

I shift my gaze, looking from the archway to the floor, to Tophet, and then to whatever minuscule distraction, but he never looks away. I breathe — in and out and again — to slow my heart.

"The merger," I utter. "I know you need me for all your plans to work. You need to preserve me. You need me to play a part, so I don't believe you plan to trick me or use me in any way that you haven't already."

He listens.

"If I agree, I require fair treatment. You cannot do things that affect me or my people without coming to me. I will never be a Luna, and I will keep my title. There will be agreements drawn up and signed."

"Agreed," he says.

"Really? You don't need to contemplate?"

He shakes his head sternly.

I swallow. "Very well. The details will be handled, but I leave for home tomorrow."

"Sending papers back and forth will take a considerable amount of time."

"I've been gone for longer than I could have ever imagined. I need to get back — the wait is excusable."

He exhales and waits just to strain my nerves further. "Fine."

"Then consider my mind made up."

My deep, soothing breath falters at the call of our titles. I watch as Alexei comes forward and links our arms to walk out. I speak first; it's all my head can cling to.

He guides, and I follow despite the journey to the platform being a short one. The room is terribly different with an audience. They wear vibrant colors in luxurious fabrics, but no gown in the sea of riches compares to my own, and their twitching fingers desire a feel.

Tophet acts naturally. We may as well be walking down the halls of the keep with no eyes on us but those empty ones in the paintings. He takes me up the stairs, and we stand in the center of the moon. I check the blackened sky and see the real one, radiant and in reach, aligned with the glass dome. This is meant to be for her.

Senet speaks, but I can't hear a word. Alexei and I face one another. He takes my hands and holds them in his, remembering each stage direction, knowing the cues in Senet's sermon. I can't help but tighten my grip — a message to warn him. I'm balancing at the top of the world, and if I fall and tear every decoration down with me, then at least he will know to let go.

He nods subtly.

Everything Senet told us earlier flees out of my ear, and my head is left blank. My lip quivers.

"Alexei," I start, pretending again and again.

No, I know my family is with the Goddess, and there is no need for me to miss them.

Yes, I can take control even though I am far too young.

I will do anything to prove I am capable.

No, I'm not afraid.

No, the God doesn't scare me.

No, he didn't ruin me — he made me stronger, he made me worthy.

No, I don't see him, don't hear him, don't feel him when he sinks his teeth into my skin.

I know I am still the Goddess's child.

I know I am a good leader.

Mother, I am a good girl.

"I-I know we are an unlikely match. At first, I couldn't comprehend why the Goddess mated us, but with each coming day, I think I am beginning to understand. There are so many things I could promise to you: to be loyal, trustworthy, cautious — but really there is something more important than those that I want to promise."

I breathe. "Under the Goddess' light, I promise that I will help you want love. I know so many years without a mate have taught you otherwise; you've learned to conquer other lands instead. So I'm sorry it took me so long to get to you, Alexei, but I'm here now, and I promise to make up for your time without me."

If Alexei wasn't the man he is, maybe I could shed my tears freely.

"I promise to be a good partner. I promise to nurture our bond and care for you in the ways you have gone without."

If I wasn't who I am, I could promise all I am without fear.

"I know we are unlikely, but I promise to always believe in us. We are mated for a reason, and no matter what that reason is, I promise to stand by you until the end."

***********************************************
Sorry for the wait. I started my last semester of college and have found this part particularly hard to write for a while. Since I have a footing again, I hope to get the next one out before the end of the month. Thanks for reading!