A stone path leads past the city walls, expanding into the evergreen trees, and we take it side by side. The path is crumbling at the sides and coated in emerald moss, silencing our footsteps. "Did you read about the first Alpha?" Alexei asks, holding my hand as though the God might reach from between the trees and snatch me away.

"He was in the story of Anera and the God. The God loved the she-wolf Anera, but she broke His heart when she found her mate. She was mated to the first Alpha, Lucan, and he was the Goddess' favorite child."

"History repeats itself."

"The God doesn't love me," I say, "not like He loved Anera. He never drank from her or tried to hurt her. He disliked the Goddess and her creatures, but she was His one exception."

"And you know the Goddess spoke to the first Alpha?"

I nod and move my hair over my shoulders. "She was pleased with his revival of Anera's village. She rewarded him."

"This land was his," he says.

"Your territory?"

"Yes."

"Is that why there's a statue of Anera in your keep?"

"My grandfather was an eccentric soul. He was very interested in the God and Goddess and always asked his mother, Anera, about the God. He had the statue built in her honor after she passed, but his siblings didn't like it, so they put it in that courtyard to be forgotten about. They told him he should have built her beside their father, not longing for the God."

The city already feels far away as the wood encloses around us. The canopy blocks the sky, and I no longer feel bound to time.

"Did she? Long for the God?"

Alexei shrugs. "I don't know. The mate bond is a powerful thing, but perhaps she didn't long for Him romantically. Maybe she missed her friend."

"So Anera and Lucan are—"

"My great grandparents."

Alexei guides me off the path and onto the forest floor. "The book you read from the west," he continues, "was the book the Goddess told me to find. There is a place in these woods where Lucan, my grandfather, my father, and I speak to the Goddess. When you told me you had found the Goddess' steps after the location was told to you in a dream, I couldn't help but believe you because I had a similar place here."

My chin falls. "I-I didn't want to make up that lie. I'm sorry, Alexei."

He picks up my chin and brushes his knuckles against my cheek. "It's alright."

He steps over a tangle of fallen branches then assists me and tugs my skirt free when it's caught. I search our surroundings for any kind of ethereal artifact yet see nothing but plain forest.

"Like the Alphas in my family before me, I've stopped aging, I don't sleep often, and occasionally I feel when something is about to happen."

"You're the Goddess' favorite," I declare.

Alexei glances. "And you are the God's."

I take a deep breath. "Does Senet know your family's history?"

"He does. I'm relieved he didn't tell you because I made it clear that I would do so myself."

Alexei stops suddenly, so I look around again. "Is it here?"

He motions ahead, and at first, I don't notice the phenomena, but my eye catches the pattern, following it in the tree branches and trunks. From the forest floor, two trees grow upward from the same spot, curving slightly away from one another, but mirroring each branch, nob, and leaf. A leaf falls from one side, and an identical leaf drops from the other. In the gap between the trees — a space too tight for me to fit through — is something unusual. I step closer toward the space and try to look through to the other side, but it's blurred and warped. Alexei comes behind me.

"Why is it like this?" I ask.

"My father told me the Goddess cut through our world to speak with Lucan, and this is what happened when She did. No one has been here other than the Alphas in my family, and they kept it a secret, even from their mates. My father told my mother that the Goddess comes to him in dreams all so she wouldn't question him. He didn't bring me here until I was eighteen; he thought I might tell someone if I found out while I was too young."

"If the Temple knew of this..." I face him. "They might just go to war all to try and speak with the Goddess."

"I trust you," he tells me. "You told me what happened with Tabitha and the God; you deserve to know."

My arms lift and snake around his neck. I hug him tightly and breathe against his shoulder. He holds me back and says, "You're shaking."

"I'm afraid. I don't want to lose you — lose myself. Tabitha wrote that I'm going to kill you, and I don't want to. I don't want the God to make me into a monster."

"That isn't going to happen." He rubs circles against my cloak. "I want you to stand here alone. You might hear Her; She knows what's happening. She knows everything."

"What if She doesn't speak to me?"

Alexei pulls back. "I want to at least try."

He lets go, and the cold caresses me. The shadows deepen, and I turn to the Goddess as he leaves. Not wanting to look into the tear or the surrounding night, I close my eyes and adjust my cloak. The forest is loud in the blackness; the Goddess, mute.

I imagine Alexei returning and telling me he's changed his mind because Her reserve only validates His claim. I can't help but think the Goddess no longer loves me; I am too tainted by the God and can not be saved. I stand on the land belonging to Her favorite Alphas, feeling shunned for my betrayal. How dare I give my soul to Him. How could I wait here with the entitlement to hear Her voice? I am the woman reaching for Her heavens with a cloth over my face. She can no longer see me.

The air is ice cold at my fingertips, and when I breathe in, the chill floods my chest. My body turns rigid, and I tremble as a gritty grunting sounds in my face. I whimper and squeeze my eyes to keep them closed, knowing that if I open them, I'll see Him leering in front of me. Tears well and drip down my cheeks, gliding down my neck, pooling in the crease of my mouth.

"I love you, Brea."

A sob rakes through me and bursts from my throat. I push my arms out and thrust Him away. I spin from the tree and open my eyes to run as my head starts to pound; His voice plays in my mind over and over. I halt and grab my head, crouching and shouting, "Go away!"

My knees hit the dirt under my feet. "Go away," I cry, "please."

I fall to my side and bring my legs to my chest. The God towers over me, bending and looming until His mouth reaches my ear. I shake and regret ever seeking out Her help.

"She is no longer your mother."

A hand touches my shoulder, and I open my eyes. Alexei waits before me, and behind him are the mirrored trees. I stumble backward, disoriented and sick to my stomach.

"Brea?" Alexei says and grabs onto me. "What happened? Your eyes were white. Talk to me — please."

"I can't... I can't do this anymore." I blink and tears fall. "I want to go back. I don't want to be h-here."

Alexei brings his arm around me and rushes us to the forest path. I wipe my tears furiously, not wanting to be scared, but I am. "He said He loves me."

Alexei looks over his shoulder.

My belly cramps and burns, and once we're back in the keep, I desire nothing but the bed. Alexei asks me to drink water, but when I hold the cup to my lips, a mere drop on my tongue tastes putrid. I enter the washroom and rinse my face with cold water from the stone basin to subside the sickness, but I spit up into it — black liquid mixes with the water, swirling like the God's shadow limbs. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve and then fight my dress off my body. Alexei enters the washroom and unties the laces for me, seeing the tar-like vomit in the basin and saying nothing.

I lay in bed in my shift. Alexei blows out the candles then comes to hold me closer than he ever has. "I'm right here," he murmurs by my ear. "Okay?"

"Okay," I say though my stomach is consuming itself.

"You aren't a monster, Brea. Tabitha is a liar, and this will end."

"Okay."

"You tell me if you need anything."

The heartbreak in his voice prompts me to promise, "I'll be alright."

Truly, I fear I'm losing my mind.

~•~

I wait at the foot of the bed, facing the windows and staring at crimson clouds. They drift across the sky and shoot lightning to the ground below, scorching the city and fields. The storm carries on in every direction and shows no sign of ending. I hear the shouting of our people, but another sound scratches my skull. My neck twitches and I turn toward the bed, seeing a woman hunched over Alexei like a vulture. Her spine straightens from the bottom up, cracking and popping like burning wood in the fireplace. She rears her head at me — blood coating her chin, neck, and chest — but her face is my own.

I wake in Alexei's arms as my heart continues to race. I clench my teeth when my stomach smolders, but I keep still and peer at his face. Strangely, he appears to be asleep. I watch him for a moment to be sure, and when he persists with even, soft breaths, I slowly lift his arm and slide out from under it. He moves when I place it back down but doesn't open his eyes.

I sit up at the edge of the mattress and hold my stomach. The pains have escalated past starvation. I step onto the floor and creep out of the bedchamber in my shift only to exit the apartment altogether. There's nothing in there that can help me, so I venture into the barren halls. The night must be at its peak because not even the housekeepers and servants are tending to the building. They wash the floors and windows when the keep's inhabitants have gone to bed, but now there are only my hollow footsteps.

I grab the corner of the wall as I turn into the main hallway, finding it eerie and haunting in the dark. My gaze rises to the weighty chandelier hanging in the middle of the vast space before the nearly unnoticeable stairwell which leads underneath to the kitchen.

My hands skim against both stone walls of the enclosed stairwell, maintaining my composure and balancing my steps. I descend into the dim kitchen; it extends with worktops and alcoves lined with shelves that hold cookware of different sizes and materials. I pass large ovens and a pit for open fires and then follow down another shorter stairwell to the icehouse and cold food storage. The amount of stored food in the fortress is almost overwhelming, but I've been in kitchens before with my mother, and she had me watch the cooks prepare my meals some days when I had acted ungrateful.

On the right-hand side of the cold storage room are large glass jugs, each varying in their contents, but the ones I'm searching for are obvious in color: pig's blood and cattle blood. I take one. The blood is maroon and thick; the smell permeates the cellar the second I pull out the cork. My heart beats so intensely that I think it might fail, but I bring the jug to my lips and close my eyes, desperate to save my life.

The blood coats my mouth, and I know immediately that I'm going to drink it all. It fills my belly, and I slide down the wall to my behind, cradling the jug and finally feeling relief. The cool stone is calming against my back. The fog in my head gradually fades, and I drink the rest of the blood in the dark.

Once I'm satisfied, I leave the kitchen and return to the apartment. I sneak into the bedchamber and see Alexei still in bed, resting in a different position but not moving when I enter the covers. I lie down and shift beside him. He adjusts and brings me flush against his body.

"Where did you go?" He asks softly.

I turn my head to look into his eyes. "To eat."

************************************************
Shorter part but I hope it was okay🤞. Thanks for reading!