Chapter 20 *Unedited

‘Dirty Gamer’

*Language

This had to be some sick joke. There was no logical answer to this woman’s inconsistent rambling. She was confused.

Rizvan’s eyes where watching the woman he had named Aisha like a hawk. Tears continued to fall down her face as she turned towards him burbling about forgiving her. She made no sense as she scrambled towards him. 

I was waiting for the famous line, ‘I can explain’ to fall out of his mouth. But it didn’t he stood silent as the front door once again swung open silencing the woman’s plea. 

“Stop being foolish,” The man snapped with a dark thin ponytail and beard, his forest green eyes narrowed in on me and I bit back the gasp. 

“Marcus?” I whispered as he softly took Aisha’s arm against her protests and pulled her into the house. He was Rizvan’s roommate back in the halls when we where all at university.

He stayed silent softly moving Aisha along with him into the house. She halted and turned towards me burning me inside out with her glare. 

“You’re a bitch. How could you do this? Knowing your own husband neglected you and left you whilst you yearned for his love and attention. How could you inflict the same upon me Aliyah? How could you be so fucking selfish but you know what he’s watching.” She pointed at the sky, letting out a laughter, which sounded more like an animal. 

She knew far too much about me. But I knew nothing about her.

“He’s watching and you both, you both will burn,” She directed her gaze towards Rizvan who watched me carefully.

“This is a mother’s curse,” She growled, as Marcus pulled her into the house slamming the door shut. 

He was waiting for me to break. But I didn’t. 

Silence fell upon us.

“Rizvan you never mentioned your wife?” I asked.

“You never mention your husband either?” he answered me with question. His words felt like a sharp slap. He was using my own word against me when he was in the wrong. 

“I’m done,” I snapped, turning away from him and walking out of the driveway.

Where was I going to go? How would I go? To be sure I was the world’s must unprepared woman. I had no money, no phone. Nothing.

I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back snapping me out of the miserable thoughts. 

“I’m sorry. I just…” 

He stopped glared down at the floor and looked back into my eyes.

“I’m scared Aliyah. I’m scared you’re going to leave me and I just can’t let you go,” He replied. My heart jumped at his words.

“I’m married. I should have told you, but I couldn’t. It took me so long, so fucking long to get you here that I just couldn’t blow my chance. But what you saw is wrong. You saw half the picture not the rest.” His hand stayed locked on my wrist as he stared into the depths of my eyes. He looked so desperate, so eager. 

“Explain the other half I haven’t seen,” I whispered.

I loved this man and he had every right to explain himself.

“It was force. This whole marriage it was a lie. That whole I’m running half of a business deal was a lie too. After dad’s death we were so poor and nothing was working out. I was practically drowning in debt. I had no degree, nothing to get my career up and running so I turned to the only option. I married this woman because she was the only child, her father could offer me half of his business and property. He treated me like a son.” He rambled on and gripped my hand.

His eyes were red and frown lines were present on his forehead as he continued to stare at me. 

“She’s pregnant,” I whispered. 

“I know. I don’t want this I didn’t want this. Believe me Aliyah after marrying that woman and working overtime trying to support my family, I just exploded. I started drinking. It was wrong but it took away the pain. It took away the image of you and my old easy going life. In university I had no worry Aliyah, because my dad was feeding me money. But now I understand the value and struggle of making a living. I just couldn’t deal with it Aliyah. I slept with her. I had too much to drink, I didn’t understand a thing and it happened.” He looked down in shame as I shrugged his hand from mine.

It hurt. It hurt knowing that he took such an intoxicating substance just to rid the pain.

“You started drinking?” I gasped.

He couldn’t meet me eye to eye.

“But you can’t blame me. Because I was drunk, she wasn’t. Yet she still threw herself at me.” He looked up. I could see his glossy brown orbs looking at me.

“Maybe like me, maybe just maybe she wanted to be accepted Rizvan.” I stated moving away from him.

“I’m not happy and neither is she. I’ve never accepted her and never will because you are my everything,” he said taking my hand in his and pulling it up to his chest.

“She had every right to be happy,” I whispered.

“You don’t know her. Don’t do this again, don’t come so close and leave me hanging again. Please. I still waited for you, I never gave my heart to any woman and I swear it was the only time,” he whispered fiercely.

Why couldn’t I be happy? Why can’t I be selfish, just for once? 

“Were not yet married and your about to cry. Imagine after we get married?” I said keeping my voice from quivering.

He broke out into a smile and swept me up from the floor twirling me around. 

“I can’t believe you,” He laughed holding me tight.

I stepped away but stopped as he cleared his throat.

“I don’t want anymore lies between us before we start together Aliyah.”

“How many more wife’s do you have?” I questioned glaring at him.

“I’m serious.” He stated moving towards me as I leaned against his car watching him carefully.

“Shah set me up in this marriage. When I came looking for you, to see Malika he offered me this. Then… then it seemed like the solution for everything. I was heartbroken because I was told you were actually happy in marriage. That you had chosen him.” 

Uncle Shah had pushed him away.

“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.” I said.

“Zayn offered me more money. He offered me a lot after you left for New York,” he whispered.

“What do you mean?” I gasped. Why would he offer him money? 

“He knew about me. I guess after he left for New York he had someone watching over you, so….” He said leaning against the brick wall opposite me.

“Why would he pay you Rizvan?”

“Because you’re someone who keeps his lonely daughter busy. Do you not see to what extent he controls you?” 

“You took the money,” I snapped harshly cutting him off.

“I needed it.” 

“What was the deal?”

“I’ll stay away from you and keep his so called friend happy,” he looked down in shame.

Aisha had known Zayn. They were friends, maybe still are and I have no idea. I just wasn’t a part of his circle. 

“You know what Aliyah. I’m sick of this. This can’t be what someone calls a life, because I’m being shoved side to side every damn time. I’ll leave everything, I’ll start from scratch with nothing and work my way up but I want you by my side. I don’t want her child, I want our child,” he said softly walking towards me.

“But I’m giving you an option. You can walk away, but don’t think I’ll accept that woman, because I can’t and I won’t.” He whispered.

He was giving me the option to turn around and walk away. 

But I won’t. 

My eyes wandered to the house and I looked towards him.

“You’re a wired man. Why did you bring me straight to your wife’s doorstep Rizvan? I asked curiously. 

“She caught wind of what I was planning and came to ruin the scene. Aliyah you honestly don’t know how vile this woman is,” he hissed grasping my hand and pulling me towards him.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to poison your mind against him anymore. Just drop it,” he stated running his hands through my hair.

“What do you mean Rizvan?” I repeated pulling back from his warmth. I had every right to know and I wanted to know what games were currently being played against me.

“After we got married she was with Zayn. I had a feeling and it was only confirmed.” He looked down in shame.

My heart stopped as my mind registered his words.

Zayn was with another woman. 

“No… I don’t believe that. We were in Canada,” I gasped. 

“So was Aisha’s father and so was I. But because of the money he and his father fed me it forced me away from your part of the world. I worked and worked and stayed in my own world. I always asked your uncle but he told me you were permanently staying in New York.”

“If I would have known I would have come running for you,” He said softly his hands cupping my face. 

No wonder Zayn never made a great appearance in me life. Sometimes he forgot my existence.

“I’m sorry,” Rizvan gasped as I felt the tears fall. 

Why would he do that? Why would he commit such a sin? Why did he keep me tied to him but fulfilled his needs with another woman. The thought disgusted me. 

“No… No. I would have never known. I thought he was head over heels in love with my dead sister… I just never guessed,” I whispered pushing my head up.

“The baby?” I questioned looking up at his smoldering brown orbs.

“I can’t… I don’t know.” He said softly.

That woman could be having Zayn’s baby.

There’s a 50 percentage chance that baby belongs to the man I may have somewhere along the line of 5 years given a part of my heart to.

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