Cedric: what did you want to tell me, Harry?

Harry: have my baby's

Cedric: ...

Harry: I mean, the first task is dragons

-

Mcgonagall: Potter, who is your partner for the Yule Ball?

Ron kicking down the door while in a stunning blue dress and four-inch heels: it's me, bitches

-

Ron: my dad sent you this to help with the second task

Ron: *opens up box to reveal a bunch of rubber duckies*

-

Harry: can you give me advice on how to talk to girls?

Severus: *stares at harry blankly while born this way plays in the background*

-

*at the Quidditch world cup*

Arthur: hey, where's Percy?

Harry: I'll go check

*five minutes later*

Harry, traumatized: he's being fucked by my old Quidditch captain.

-

Draco: *sees Harry and Ron dancing at the Yule Ball*

Draco: MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUR THIS!!!

*later*

Draco, writing a letter: Dear Father, I have never been so heart broken or betrayed.