The 20th chapter already? Wow. I always cherish this goal in my books because it shows that I've written so much already but at the same time so much is yet to come. As usual, lengthy chapter (lol), and you're in for a rollercoaster of emotions.

Episode 20: Blast From The Past

After making several sleep-induced turns, Emily made it to the kitchen, only to freeze in her steps when she saw Nicholas standing there, elbows braced on the counter and his hands wrapped around a mug. The coffee-pot sat on his left and various documents were laid out in front of him. It was a cold morning so she wasn't surprised to see him in a black sweater with the hood pulled up over his head.

He glanced up immediately, setting his cup down when he saw the apprehensive woman. As he straightened, Emily noticed that the zipper of his sweater was undone, grey sweatpants riding low on his hips. And the most lethal part - he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath it. The sculpted surface of his tanned chest and the hints of his developed muscles stretched taut across his abdomen, visible under the radiant lighting in the kitchen.

In a different situation, this would've been one hell of a good morning.

But after the depressing state he was in last night, Emily couldn't rejoice at the sight of him one hundred percent. Not even fifty.

It had taken every ounce of her will power to tear herself away from him early this morning and go back to her own room. Emily didn't want to leave him alone after looking so doleful, but she wasn't sure if he would be receptive to the idea of her sleeping beside him just yet. It almost threaded along the lines of her taking advantage of him as he was being partially unexpressive. Uncertain of what he would normally like versus what he wouldn't under alcoholic influence.

"Good morning." The brunette greeted, willing herself not to blush under the heat of his gaze.

On most days, he'd stare her down until she did, but not today. He wasn't it in the mood.

He stared at her impassively, then pushed aside the files and papers.

"Have you had any hangover soup? Or some pills?"

Emily walked around the kitchen counter with the intention to make the dish once she saw sign of only coffee.

Not that she was complaining.

Emily loved coffee.

But this was about Nicholas and what was best for his body.

Speaking of which, the man whom her concern laid on was silent as she put the pot on the stove, flicking the fire on beneath.

"Did you..." Emily swallowed cautiously, her back still facing him.

"Did you have a rough day yesterday?"

Dead silent.

"Still not going to talk to me, huh?" She couldn't help but ask dryly.

It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her. Nicholas just didn't know quite what to say after last night.

He didn't remember much, but he was sure he had been a handful.

Cursed with being an emotional drunk, he was sure she got a first class seat to that disaster. Plus the topic of discussion was probably the least appealing thing to him on this planet.

When she turned back around, he had another cup in his hands, picking up the coffee-pot and filling it to the brim.

"That's too bad. I had plenty of questions I needed answers to, but I guess – oh," she stopped in surprise, her brown eyes widening when he pushed the cup into her hands. The heat of it radiated and travelled to her heart as she tried to suppress the grin that wanted to spread across her face. Nicholas' expression was enigmatic when she looked up, but she yielded and smiled brightly at him nonetheless. "Thank you."

"I heard that yesterday didn't go in your favour." Emily didn't give up on gaining information about who made him react like he had.

"Who told you that? David?" He answered at last but his tone was wintry, just like the cold look he flashed her way.

"N-No..." Emily was quick to ensure David's safety. "You did. Last night...when you were drunk."

He seemed to retreat into his shell at that revelation.

The way his eyes flickered down to the floor as he raised his cup hinted at his internal self-rebuke.

And he was cursing at himself alright.

"Did something happen yesterday?"

He didn't take his eyes away from the intricate patterns of the floor as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Way to ask the obvious."

Emily wasn't surprised by his robotic tone.

"Was it something bad enough that you had to drank so much? You have a high tolerance for alcohol, unlike myself, so how much did you drink before David brought you here?"

"Why does it matter?" He suddenly snapped.

Emily looked at him stunned.

He cursed at himself again for making her look at him like that.

He hated it.

But he loathed the fact that she was pushing him to talk about something he didn't want to more.

"Because I'm trying to give you a chance to air out all that you're keeping inside."

His eyes were on Emily in a split second.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want that? I don't want to talk about it."

Emily felt like a blow was delivered to her stomach. The disdainful look he wore was ripping her apart. But not as much as her pitiful one was killing him.

She could tell that he was hurting but he didn't want to admit it.

Whether it was the reluctance to come off as weak to her or his incapacity to handle his own problems, Nicholas appeared to prefer to be viewed as bulletproof to his perforating emotions.

That was very unhealthy.

She didn't like that he was engaging in such practices. Especially with her. It hurt to know he was hiding things from her. Maybe he didn't trust her as much as she'd thought.

That assumption brought ten times more the pain.

Nicholas saw the storm building inside her brown eyes before she spoke.

"You were the one who said that you wanted us to be the embodiment of a married couple; one that shared everything. Like you, Nick, I want you to come to me first if you are happy or sad. That no matter how many masks you wear, around me you are naked with your feelings. You said we needed to rely on each other."

"But I'm sorry if I went too far. Or if, for some reason, I'm not very trustworthy in your eyes. I'll start getting ready for work then." Emily said self-deprecatingly, and Nicholas' gaze softened at the end of her speech.

She turned to walk away after shutting the stove off with the water that was boiling.

But Nicholas was quick in barring her off with his hands caged around both sides of her.

Her back dug into the kitchen counter as she took a step away as he became unexpectedly closer.

She looked up at him anticipatingly.

"You're right," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

Emily watched as his eyes flitted about the place, never once landing on her as he took a deep breath, the minty scent of his toothpaste wafting over her. How it had withstand the scent of the coffee was beyond her.

Seemingly hypnotized, he stared at her so deeply into the eyes she felt like she was drowning. That was the only word she could use to describe it, logical or not.

"I don't think you're untrustworthy, Emily. In fact you've proven to me time and time again how reliable you are as a person. It makes me feel great affliction to hear you say otherwise."

He meant every word he said.

If she was anything in his eyes, untrustworthy would be the last of the lot. No, It wouldn't even make the list because it would be filled with only the good things. Even down to her stubborn ways.

"Then why won't you tell me what happened?"

Nicholas used one hand that secured her to the kitchen counter to wipe his face. As if it could erase the battle of emotions taking place in his mind.

The assiduity with which Emily could wear him down was remarkable.

He had never met a woman like her.

She could be sweet-tempered and radiating warmth one moment, then the next she was firm, even more so brutal with her tendency to use one's own words against them.

The Capricious Workings of Emily, he thought after being rendered outward-looking.

He could write a book about them.

"Because I don't want you to worry about me." Nicholas' shoulders lifted and fell with a sigh.

Emily looked at him, confused as ever.

He hesitated.

Nicholas didn't know if this was the best topic of discussion so early in the morning, or any time to be honest. He loathed the idea of talking about her, especially to Emily. He thought she had been a figment of his past; history for a lack of better words. Something that could be forgotten and erased with the sands of time.

However, her sudden return to New York was a harsh reminder that wasn't the case.

She had strode through the doors of Nicholas' office, her Louis Vuitton heels clicking on the surface of the floor, like a haunting melody. One that he used to feel a longing for. A sound that he would have paid any amount of money in the world to hear caress his ears on last time. But now it made him extremely mad - to an indecipherable extent. He wanted to tear those heels off her feet and toss them out the window and tell her to kindly fuck off.

He looked at Emily, her gorgeous face doing wonders in calming him down.

"Do you promise you won't regret asking this?"

"I won't."

"That's a promise, Emily." He said sternly.

"I know." She smiled at him reassuringly and it did things to the pace of his heartbeat.

He shook his head to shake the spell of Emily's smile. Oh how she easily distracted him. It was pathetic.

The reminder of what he was supposed to be talking about made the atmosphere suddenly turn chilly. More than it was believable for a morning approaching the edge of the winter seasons.

"Her name is Molly James."

The woman before him sucked in a sharp breath, affected by the female's name even though she had an inkling that this was coming.

A tiny part of her had already infected her brain with the prospects of a past love leaving the man before her with scars to make him unlike the Nicholas she has grown to know.

Only someone whom had once wielded control over him emotionally could get to a person like him.

Emily was knowledgeable of that much with regards to Nicholas' ever foreboding character.

Nicholas glanced down at Emily upon hearing the sharp inhale.

He didn't know if he should continue or not.

There was a major part of him that was certain this was going to affect Emily negatively and curve her outlook of their relationship that had seen noticeable progress lately. The two of them were aware that they were still treading on thin ice so early in their marriage. A former love interest's return and the obvious influence she still had over him based on last night was unappreciated. If it was up to Nicholas, they wouldn't even be talking about this, but Emily was clearly interested in what was to be said after his introduction.

"Go on." She urged patiently.

"Well, Molly was my ex-girlfriend if you haven't guessed that much already. We met back in the first years of university. She was the ideal girl for every man. Remarkably clever, and exhilarating with her ability to share her opinions or decisions. Nothing she did could be questioned, and I found myself drawn to her like a moth to a flame. It didn't help my case of infatuation that she was insanely beautiful. However, she was the flirty type. I had no idea where her thoughts were with the prospects of building a relationship with me. It used to drive me mad during the first two years of university when we were friends."

"She would be with me one second, telling me how she appreciated having me in her life. That she didn't know what she had done to have a guy like me. And her tone was always so fucking suggestive. Five minutes later, I'd witness her spilling the same bullshit to another guy. She had me wrapped around her finger, and despite that, slowly but surely, it made me lose respect for her – in the aspect that she was so fickle, at least. I remember when I finally told her I couldn't stand it anymore. That I couldn't continue standing there like an idiot as she kept stringing me along. Surprisingly, she admitted to having feelings for me too. Intimate feelings."

He looked to Emily who was listening keenly.

Somehow, her heart didn't feel as affected as she thought it would hearing him talk about his ex-girlfriend.

Maybe it was the fairness of her heart with the fact she had once had a past relationship too.

That she had been in love with someone once and that the act was something completely natural.

Nicholas never held the stuff in the past over her head, so why should she do that to him now?

Emily nodded at him to continue.

He did.

"In the beginning of our relationship, it was great but then her flirtatious tendencies resurfaced. God, how that frustrated me. There was no boundary to her skinship with other men as she spoke to them on and off campus. She'd attend 'study dates' like she called them. I pretended as if I didn't know they were blind dates set up by her girl friends who were desperate to not be single or who complained about her being boring after starting to date me. It went on for another year; me trying to hold onto what was left of my childhood sweetheart and her taking advantage of my feelings. Turns out, she had only been with me out of pity..."

Nicholas' faced pulled into a scowl as he remembered how she spilled the beans on her feeling sorry for him back then. Not in love with him. She claimed to have mixed up the two.

"My family wasn't a wealthy one at the time, we did alright with my father's car business but we weren't dripping with finesse. Molly was the kind that loved the idea of being rich. She always said she knew I'd make it big and she'd be the housewife that enjoyed the luxuries of that. How ironic. Her belief was broken by the temptation of someone who held the money in that moment. The poor lad desired her just as much as she did his credit card. She was quick to dump me and move on to him. Truthfully, that horrible experience only motivated me to become even more successful afterwards. I worked harder. To make her regret her decision."

"And you obviously did."

Emily's eyes surveyed the massive house that they were both residing in. If it didn't speak for his wealth, she didn't know what did.

Oh wait, maybe his bank account.

Nicholas let out a chilling laugh.

"Yes, I did. When my company became renowned and finally had its place in the industry, she came knocking on my front door. I had been hospitable enough, wanting bygones to be bygones but then she started spewing all this shit about missing me all these years and I just couldn't control myself anymore. I told her I had already moved on, which in fact was true. I had indulged in a fair share of relationships, but nothing too serious. Though she didn't need to know that. She had made the mistake of welcoming herself into my home only to bump into a woman from a pleasurable night."

Emily couldn't help how satisfied she felt about hearing that.

Not about Nicholas' many conquests and confirmed experience (which were underlying threats to her), but the image of that gold-digger facing the harsh reality of a man she thought was still hers. 

After so many years and everlasting betrayal on her part, she deserved as much.

She couldn't deny it though – that Molly girl really had some nerve.

"I'm guessing she didn't give up after that?"

"I sometimes dislike how quick you are to catch on," he mused a light smile playing on his lips.

It disappeared soon after as he proceeded to speak.

"No, she didn't. She would drop in time after time. Whether at my workplace or home, cementing her version of the truth about what went down in university. I didn't really care for an explanation but she thought I had. When I told her no matter what she said nothing would change the fact that she was an opportunist and liked the idea of wealth and power more than a person, she had quit. She had been going at it for two years but then suddenly stopped. I hated the feeling but...I was gutted. It was like I was reliving the past all over again. Make no mistake, I didn't have any lingering feelings for her, but she made up a small fraction of me; the me whom existed before Nicholas King, ruler of the entertainment industry. She reminded me of the good times, regardless of what she had done. When I was naive and burden-free. I don't know how to explain it so that you'll understand the depth of it."

Nicholas took a deep breath at a look on Emily's face he gathered was caused by misunderstanding. He really didn't want her to take that the wrong way.

"Okay, let me say this as simply as I can. Molly is like a stain I can't get out of the white t-shirt that was my youth. Pure, uncorrupted. It's been proven impossible to completely forget that. And the fact that she knows me so well infuriates me beyond no ends. She knows exactly what to say to get under my skin."

Oh, how Emily could relate to that.

She hated to admit it but Jake was that- that stain to her.

He was a portion of her younger self. The one who had brought meaning to her life when there had been none.

How could she ever forget that?

How could anyone forget that?

She couldn't simply delete the memories of blissful days by his side. The mind didn't work like that, and she was sure that was the case for Nicholas too.

At the very least, Molly had been at a distance from Nicholas after her acts of disloyalty, but Jake was always in Emily's air. Rubbing salt to the wound like the disrespectful mutt he was.

"Now she turns up at my office, hair bleached and high heels still intacted as if nothing had happened, asking for me to make her my wife." Nicholas' teeth clenched in obvious distaste.

Emily's eyes darkened.

"She what?"

He stepped forward and ran a considerate hand in Emily's hair, but this time it didn't have the usual soothing effect.

"She must have heard it off someone's tongue that I was being pressured by members of the board to get married. Since the public has known that I haven't engaged in any intimate relationships for years, she took it as a sign of me missing her and wanting to wed no one but her. I told her I'd be placing a fucking restraining order on her next time around."

Emily couldn't even chastise him for his filthy mouth because nastier things were running across her mind.

How could that bitch be so daft?

Or was she simply the prime example of an obsessive ex?

Whatever she was, Emily hated her.

She despised the guts she had to try and get back with Nicholas only because of how much he has achieved.

Emily had been taken advantage of because of her wealth one too many times but didn't blink an eye because she was used to it, and the ones who did it didn't have much of an emotional attachment to her.

But poor Nicholas.

The lad was absolutely smitten by that deceitful woman and she trampled all over