Chapter 4 - The Ground is Falling!

You know when you're having an argument with somebody, it doesn't matter what side you're on, and then you realize that that person you're arguing with is right. Sometimes you're scared to except defeat, or maybe scared to be wrong.

Well that is happening with me, not with somebody else though. With myself. I know that I'm right when I think about how the pain I'm going through is contributed to symptoms of loss of blood. But I'm also to scared to except that I need help. I've been through this the entire time but now I need help.

No. I'm getting through this, because wouldn't that be a stupid way to go out.

I get up and throw my stuff in my bag, going to my last class before lunch. Fourth period with Mr Heiren and his very intense growl on his face. My bag rests on my shoulder, the ringing in my head is as aggressive as ever and the vision in my peripherals is still blurry. Almost getting worse.

I'm lightheaded from the movement down the halls, screaming teenagers ring in my ears as I make it to room 124. I blink a couple times and breathe in heavily as I sit back in the chair. It's been getting progressively worse, worse than normal. But I did do this a month ago, I can get through it again.

It's all happening so fast, the teens around me and the noises, I feel like I'm fast forward around everybody who is fast forward 2x.

The bell rings again, everybody around me settling down. One of my classes with Kingston. It seems like it would be fine, hearing his jokes all day are great but god I can feel his eyes digging through the back of my head trying to find something out. I feel them, their icy stare. It's icy not because of a hateful expression though... it's warm and his eyes are soft as they look at me.

It's icy because of who he is, how his personality is.

Mr Heiren coughs, getting up from his desk and grabbing a large stack of papers to place on our desks while saying, "Okay, the last three classes had a hard time understanding the words partner project so I'll explain it best I can," As soon as I hear the words partner project I mentally groan.

That is before I hear the familiar chuckle from the back of the class, Kingston Brag's chuckle.

His last name matches everything he does, with expensive wrist watches and his beautiful pure white smile.

He had blonde hair that went down to his cheekbones, he flipped it almost every minute and when I turn around I see him laughing with Reid.

His other best friend despite River Laydree.

He looks over at me, that same look in his eyes and smirks. He winks.

He FUCKING WINKED! LADY HORMONES GO! SOUND THE ALARMS ITS FUCKING HAPPENING!

I swallow, turning around quickly.

He wasn't the bad boy, he was just... Kingston. And I've always looked at him across the class, seen him and wished I could be in his group. Be like his girlfriends, since he was the only one that got them, even if they only lasted a week.

Anyway, regarding the project. I'll probably end up doing all the work and not having time to clean the house and then get beaten. If they work on it too I'll have to meet them after school to do it with them but I can't go out after school or I'll get beaten too. It's a lose-lose situation for me.

"You'll be put into partners and then you will be given about a week to work on the project. It's about our development of society unit,

"so you'll all be assigned a time and then make a poster on how society developed over that ten year period (1910s, 20s, 30s, etc.) I'll tell you your partners and dates in a second."

He finishes after putting the last paper on my desk with instructions and a large poster paper.

It's easy enough, I could do this in a night or two. "Oh!" He starts as he turns around towards us and chuckles at his forgetfulness,

"You'll be handing them in the last day before Christmas break, I'll grade them and send you the email of your grade some time between then and new year." He finishes and I mentally clap for not having to do a presentation.

"Madeline and River," Mr Heiren starts and Madeline gets up with a smirk, Mr Heiren plans terribly.

He's smart, even with his old sad brain but this was not his best moment. River loves Madeline... but Kingston is still growling. Kingston has started hating her in the past week or so.

Like hating her.

Hasn't she heard 'you gotta be approved by the friends' before?

He continues on with our whole classes names, I get nervous my anxiety kicking in even more then it always is when I continue not to hear my name.

He probably forgot about me, he forgot about me. Then I'll have to go up to him and tell him that he forgot about me and it will be a burden to hi-

"Lastly Kingston and.. Summer." He says pausing as he waits for us to walk up. Of course I get picked to be with the one person who notices me. Other than Madeline who has given me intense glares since the day she met me.

"You're given 2010s, it's pretty easy since you have social media and stuff. Just go do it." The old man says and I woozily walk back to my desk, the bell ringing shortly after I sit down.

I just sat down, why must you be petty my dear bell?

I groan and stand up, a little to quickly for my comfort. I start putting things in my backpack when I hear a distant voice. It's small but it's there,

"Im not very good at this stuff so if you want to do it you can but I'll always help if you need it..." Suddenly a hand waves in front of my face and I look up abruptly to see an unwanted face blessing my foggy eyes.

My hearing rings and I breathe heavily as I blink a couple times trying to get the fog out of my eyes. Kingston stands in front of me, his face full of confusion when he sees me. The first time I've seen his face hold one single emotion.

His eyes are digging into mine as he inspects my face. He slowly licks his fingers and rubs it over my cheek as I pull myself back.

He growls. "Dude your makeup is super uneven... are you stoned!?"

I stand up straighter and put my backpack around my shoulders, the sleeve of my shirt going up and I quickly push it back down. "No!" I say, trying to push past him but he grabs onto my waist and pulls me back in front of him.

LADY HORMONES!!!!!! LADY HORMONES!!!

"Hold on Darling, You can be late to one class in your life."

I swallow, rubbing his leftover spit off of my face.

His eyes flicker between me and my wrist before he grabs it and pulls it towards him.

He saw it.
He saw the bandages.
Oh I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna FUCKING DIE!!

oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my GOD!!!

okay... clam down.. I could kill myself before he got to me-or....

He could just... not find out the reason that I cut?

Better idea.

He flips it over and pulls my sleeve up to see the now bloody bandage covering my wrist. His face softens as he looks up at me. I pull my wrist from him, or try to, but his hand holds mine strongly yet softly rubs circles on my skin with his thumb.

"Darling," He says softly, "What did you do?"

His voice rings in my ears and I try to move to my next class as kids start to fill the room but he grabs me. Suddenly my breathing gets heavy and my palms sweaty.

I gulp, looking around the room quickly back and forth between the clock making my anxiety worse about being late and the kids staring at me because I'm with Kingston, hateful girls shooting me glares but kisses to him.

All sounds blur in my ears except rivers rain voice as my legs start to wobble, "Darling... Darling? Sum-" but before he can stop I stop hearing him.

My troubled mind going blank, my legs giving out from under me and my eyes rolling to the back of my head as the ground falls beneath me.

I feel his warm body, the fabric of his blue sweater, and and the perfection of his body touching mine.

But all I see is black.
Wouldn't that be a stupid way to go out.