1657 words

Chapter 32 - The Ribs

Most girls want the perfect life, prom queen, a sweet footballer boyfriend/sweet girlfriend, a giant friend group the most amazing people. I guess we all want that at least a little, you can't lie.

But for me, I know I used to want this, but I think right now I only want one part,

The football boyfriend.

I think...

I wake up in a warm pair of arms, the ones I'm now used to. The ones I want to be in for at least another minute.

I tighten Kingston's arms around me, pushing myself closer to him. After I started crying, he didn't pressure me to tell him anything, he didn't ask what was wrong.

He just held me, and told me when we wanted to talk about why I was crying we could. Even if it was right then.

I told him eventually I would tell him, but I don't know if I'll ever tell him I love him.

His thumb rubs gentle circles on the warm skin of my stomach, since my shirt had rolled up in the night. His skin touching mine is amazing, something I had always known but now I pay attention to.

He chuckles in my ear, a weak chuckle, his warm breath fanning my neck as he gives it a kiss. Sending shiver all the way through me.

"Come any closer and I will not be able to control myself." Kingston says into my neck. My eyes go wide as I flip around, looking at him "Sorry." I say and he lifts my chin up to look at him.

"Do not be sorry." He says and I flush with a red blush. He looks into my eyes, the sweet smile he always has when he's around me is there, sitting on his lips happily.

He mumbles something to him self, looking at me. Or maybe it wasn't to himself, but I don't think he wanted me to hear it. He leaned in, pressing his body against me mine again.

I giggle as he flips us so I'm laying on top of him. I move my arms under him, his warm body is perfectly aligned with mine. His bare chest is what I rest my face on.

I kiss his chest, about to go back to bed when he chuckles. "Nope, you have got to talk to River's mom now. I have to go over to the school and prepare for the last game. If you can, please come. I can get Madeline to give you a ride?" He says and I shake my head.

"I'm okay, I can get Melanie to drive me." I say, thinking of telling him the reason that Melanie left. The death threats that Madeline has given me for years, the hateful comments to me and Melanie.

I open my mouth to speak, him out from under me and putting a shirt on, but he speaks instead. "The rumors are true, Madeline is trying to get River to date her. He might do just that." He says and I nod.

I look down at my lap, knowing that River would do that even if it hurt me.

Right?

I look up, Kingston looking at me in confusion. He looks over me, "You seemed a little spaced out there?" He said and I shake my head with a shrug.

He smirks down at his feet. He's in a plain gray top and some basketball shorts which is his uniform for gym.

I smile at him, looking into his bathroom with a thought crossing my mind. So many thoughts. One I might do.

He smiles, grabbing a sports bag and kissing my forehead. His hands slowly slip off of my body as he leaves. A little wave to me.

I get up, going into my room and seeing my toiletries. A shampoo bottle, body wash, conditioner... a razor.

Maybe just this once.

Just a little bit more.

It's not because of River, or my life that's taking a mostly amazing turn of events. It's because, I can't be fixed. Anxiety, self consciousness, it doesn't just go away immediately.

And maybe a little bit to take my mind off Kingston

So maybe that's why, maybe a little bit of my hate for myself, maybe the thought that I've only known Kingston for a month and I already have a major crush on him. But here I am.

Just a little cut, it's not on my wrist this time, it's on my stomach. It's about rib level, I'm not a doctor. I don't know what it'll do. But that way Dr. Kingston won't see.

The pain feels the same, it's not different, but I guess it felt more satisfying when I had nobody.

I clean my rib off, putting a bigger bandage over it. I know It'll get itchy and I'll rip it off, but I put it on to conceal the blood.

I put on a purple graphic tee, a pair of jeans, and a black belt. Soon I go down the stairs, Pho sits in the foyer, a little pack of dolls surrounding her.

"Will you play with me Summie?" She asks and I smile, looking around for Halliah when she pops up in the doorframe. "Sorry hunny, maybe she'll play with you after?" She deals with Pho, looking at me and I give her a big smile.

Halliah nods and motions me into the living room, sitting down next to the fire place with a cup of tea in her hands.

"Okay," She starts, "I don't need to know anymore, River told me everything that he knew was necessary for me to know with you living here. You can trust me, we're not going to spread secrets.

"I was in multiple abusive relationships, so I can partially understand what's happening. But what want to know is what your like, and what is River like around you?" She says and I shrug.

"I don't, I don't really like parents." I says and she nods, she clicks her tongue and looks away. "Well, we will have to conquer that fear for at least me. Because I want to at least know how much my son loves you!" She squeals like a teenager and I giggle a little.

"He doesn't love me-" I say but she shakes her head and cuts me off, "He at least loves you in a platonic way. I've known him for a while, we kept in contact while I was away over business trips.

"He was intrigued by you since the day he went to school here. He was just judgy, he showed his feelings in a stupid way because he had just been heartbroken by a stupid eighth grade girl and his dad.

"He couldn't go back after that, you can tell if he hates you. He's different." She says and I look up at her trough my lashes, then turn my head up.

"I guess you do know him better than me." I say and she chuckles, "I just know him in a different way." She says and I shrug. "But, what is he like now, I know it's only been a month but he's as open with you as his friends I assume." She says and I nod.

"I know most things" I say and she nods, a sad smirk going on her face. "Do you know about the scar on his lower stomach?" She says and I shake my head.

"It's not my place to tell, but I know one day he will tell you. And hopefully soon." She says, getting up and dusting fake dirt off of her pants.

"But I do know, you definitely like my little boy King. Just know, Kingston is different with that sort of stuff, if he likes you he'll travel the world for you I know that, but he'll also want anything it the same. He's so selfless, love, don't take advantage of it." She says, blowing a kiss my way and leaving the room with a blanket around her.

"How do you know I love him?" I call after her and she sticks her head in. "I know what goes on in my house. I've walked in to tell Kingston something since I'm basically his mom and I've seen him humming as he strokes your hair in early hours of the morning before you're even up."

Fuck.

That's cute....

--------------------

I play with Pho as I wait for Melanie to pick me up, Halliah is supposed to come with Pho too after she gets out of a meeting.

I wear some grey acid wash jeans with a black heart belt and a white graphic T-shirt. When Melanie knocks on the door I give Pho a sad smile,

"I've got to go little one, but I'll be back. Well play again soon, okay?" I ask and she nods, I get up to the door.

When I open it she excitedly jumps on me, "We're doing things again! I'm picking you up again! You are telling me things again-" I cut her off by putting my hand over her mouth.

Her warm breath heats my hand. I lean in, "I like Kingston." I whisper and she chuckles as we exit the doorway, "That was obvious. Good job finding that out." She says in a sarcastic tone. I roll my eyes.

"He is a big baby, He is a player, I think more so lately. But to change the subject to avoid your grilling he told me earlier that River was going to try getting together with Madeline." I say and Melanie's jaw drops.

"That dick!" She says and I shake my head, "It's fine, to be fair we've only been friends for a month. He doesn't know what Madeline did, nobody except for you does.." I say, more convincing myself than her.

As we go over a bump I wince, the cut I made earlier on my ribs stinging. I take off the bandaid as sneakily as possible, stuffing it in a bag full of trash.

This will hopefully be fun, because I just want to be there for Kingston.