Chapter 23 - The Chance

Thunderstorms are one of my many fears. Just say I am quite the wimp, having to many fear to count. But thunderstorms, the sounds resembling so much of a gunshot. How lonely I really am. How nobody will love me.

Yea I hate thunderstorms.

River says something that reminds me of how my dad used to speak.

Graining and defeating.

Kingston puts a hand on my back, "You Okay, Darling?" He asks and I shrug, looking up at him with a fake smile. "Yea I'm fine." I say and he shakes his head, his eyes furrowed with the clear emotion in his eyes.

His eyes... they were just so... clear.

"Tell me." He says, walking into my room as I shove the pillows at him. Jumping down on my bed as he does the same.

We lay on a clean bed, pillows surrounding us and staring at the ceiling.

Our hands were so close, our pinkies touching and slowly intertwining.

My heart beat.. it beats faster for a reason I can't explain, just from this.

Slowly, I'm this pit of silence I start speaking. "It reminds me of my dad." I start and he turns on his side, his face looking directly at mine as I continue to stare at the ceiling.

At this point our entire hand is intertwined. Our hearts beating at the same fast pace.

"So much does, voices, sayings, food, places, colors, feelings. I look at blood, or I look at a razor blade, or I hear thunder and I snap. I go back into that pit I'm trying to crawl out of." I say and he swallows.

"Can I tell you something, Summer?" He asks, his voice deep and calm, reminding me of everything but my dad. Of those yellow and purple flowers you see in peoples gardens, of the tropics, of putting a flower behind your ear and wearing a Hawaii shirt.

Not caring, just loving, and being happy. I want that.

"Yea." I say quietly as he takes a breath in, "My mom died when I was young... she died from an OD. I thought of her as everything I had since my dad was always a dick to me. When I lost her I thought my world was over. But the world slowly got better because though I hate to say it, she was the plague."

"I could've found the cure, my dad could've found the cure, but we didn't. We just sat there and watched until she died. I've always taken a bit of responsibility over her death, but the world is cruel. A lot of people are responsible."

"I'm not letting your dad, your plague, take you down with him. Because I turned out amazing without my plague.. huh?" He says, his arms wrapping around me and his head resting on my shoulder.

God I love this man.

Take that how you want because I don't even know how to take it.

I don't know in which way I love him.

But I do.

I smile, and it's genuine just like his. Tears fall from my eyes as I smile. "What's wrong?" He asks, wiping the tears away and I shake my head.

"Nothing, I'm just... I'm just happy." I say, and he knows this is the first time I've cried in a while.

He made me truly... happy.

So I hand him his gift out of my drawer, seeing his surprised and happy expression when he sees it.

I lean down, slowly and kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, Kingston. I want to tell you something." I say and he furrows his eyebrows as he sits up with me.

"Okay?" He asks and I give him a lopsided smile.

"I just want you to know.. that I don't want to tell you everything that happened to me. And it's not because I don't want you to know, but because I don't want you to worry about it, I don't want you to pity me. Because you're right." I start with a sigh, before looking up at him brought my eyelashes, a smile hidden on my face.

"My Plague is finally gone."

"You would've loved my mom, Darling." He says and I furrow my eyebrows, "not when she was a drug addicted but before." He clarifies.

"She was sweet. She loved to cook like you and she would take me out to walk the dog everyday. I was only three so I don't remember her then, I only remember drug-her. But I've heard stories. She would've loved you too."

"She sounds amazing, King." I say and he nods, putting on his necklace and pulling me on top of him, holding me there with a smile.

"If you could've met her I would've let you, if you could've come and lived with me instead of River my dad will love you. Everybody loves you, Baby." He says and I smile, kissing his chest.

"I could say the same about you, you're popular and perfect."

"I'm not perfect. Perfect sucks, that's why you're not perfect. I'm not perfect. Perfect is boring and bruised, we're new and improved." He says and I roll my eyes, "you take poetry huh?" I ask and he nods, "I'm gonna be a doctor with a minor in poetry."

——-

Christmas Day was great, cookies and milk, presents and surprisingly my happiness making an appearance again. All of it making me forget about my mom and how Kingston will leave me once school starts again.

I wash my hands, having just finished cleaning the kitchen for El. I finally take my hair down from the tiny ponytail it was in, my hair reaching my collarbones now, longer than it has in a while. All I want is for it to reach my waist, flow down at the sides.

I just want to be pretty.

I look down at my hands, I don't know what I'm searching for though. They're not interesting.

Suddenly I hear River's deep voice travel through the room, meeting me, "You do not have to clean so much, your taking El's job away." He jokes and I shake my head.

"Els job is to do everything around here, I want to help. Plus I'm used to it, think of it as rent since you're giving me a beautiful place to live." I say and he looks around.

"Are you done?" He asks hurriedly and I nod, "Come with me," He says, grabbing my hand and jogging somewhere in the mansion I haven't been before.

Past the stairs, down the hall, take a right, take a left, then when I look to my left I see an arch in the wall. There is another one not the other side, in the middle is a small courtyard.

Grass lines it all, at my right is a hammock, then white fluffy bean bags in the corner and a tiny fountain in the middle. It's not like anything you've ever seen.

River smiles at me from my peripherals before traveling in, still holding my hand to guide me where we're going while I'm in a trance of amazement.

Soon he lays down on a hammock next to me, signaling for me to come on with him. I reluctantly oblige, gettin into the hammock, my head on his shoulder and my arm around his torso while his is around mine.

"It's nice here." I say, looking up at the cloudy sky that travels so far above me. "I had a feeling you would like it." He says and I look up at him with a smile.

It breaks off into comfortable silence.

Though I'm quick to ruin that, "You have such a nice house." I say, looking straight up at the gray tinged sky.

"This is your house now, Love." He says and I smile as we sit there. Looking up at the sky until he reaches over me and searches my side for a pocket until he grabs my phone.

He goes onto YouTube and searches up songs, "Tell me if you like this one." He starts as the song starts playing." I smile at him as it plays
I Get Around by The Beach Boys.

I get up and starts swaying my hips while chuckling, I used to dance all the time getting about 7 years of experience before everything happened.

He starts laughing a bellowing laugh that surges through me, fueling my ugly dancing more. When Kingston shows up in the hall too, since he basically lives here, he smiles at me.

My hair moves back and forth in front of my face as he comes towards me and places his hands on my hips, dancing off beat with me as River laughs, he chuckles too.

He rests his hands on my hips as we sway intensely to the music making fake rock signs and laughing. I reach my hand up and mess with his hair from way above me.

He quickly snaps his eyes open and picks me up, running inside leaving the music playing in the courtyard as I hit his back.

I'm rating over his should as he rushes up he stairs and I hit his back. "I still got stabbed, that hurts." I say quietly and he slowly down as we get into his room.

He throws me down on his bed, his smell enveloping me making me unconsciously smile. He plops down next to me as I still laugh despite the pain surging through me.

He smiles, his eyes resting on my figure happily as I finish my laughing spree, looking back at him too. We stay like that for a second until he notices and shakes his head, and for some reason the dog that hadn't been over his eyes in so long was back.

Did I do something wrong?
I probably did something wrong.
I always do you know that, say sorry or something maybe that'll help.

"Sorry," I say quietly and his head snaps towards me as he shakes his head. "No, you did nothing wrong don't say sorry." He says and I look down at my hands, his urgency to say that scared me.

He's been through stuff, and I know what that's like. Even if I didn't expect what I went through to have happened to him, all pain is pain. No matter how much or how little.

I look at him for a second instead of my hands, and quickly pounce on him. He immediately gets pushed back and I laugh as I stay put on top of him.

It's probably because your fat, look at how much weight you've gained in the past couple weeks.

My face hovers over his, "Tell me, where did you learn to dance like that." He asks and I shake my head, "I used to dance, seven years." I say and his eyes go wide.

"That is a lot of commitment, Darling." He says and I shrug, "I love dancing, though probably not the type we just had where you flung me into a bed but I mean.." I stare and he squints his eyes at me with a shake of his head.

"Me and River are having Reid over, if you want you can come downstairs with us. You're surprisingly good competition."  He says and I smile.

"I know, I'm really competitive." I say as I lean down, my hands on his chest as is straddle him and whisper in his ear, "I'll beat you." To which I may or may not have felt him twitch underneath me.

"We'll see about that, Darling." He says, throwing me off of him and onto the bed as he gets up and walks off.

—

I lay on my bed, my eyes tired and barely being able to stay open when a group of three boys opens my door.

Kingston smirks and rushes over to my bed, flopping done next to me. "Well, well, well, what do we have here." He says and I squint my eyes at him, he gets slightly intimidated and moves away from me.

I chuckle and shake my head, grabbing his hand and pulling him in for a hug. He lands on top of me, making  sure he puts no weight on my stomach as he lays his head on my boobs, it's fine I know they're comfy.

We all know, stop judging me!

He smiles bubbly at the other guys making me look back to Reid and River, they both lean against the doorway with an identical look on their faces. Soon River speaks, "So I told Reid about you being here, not why because I did not want to make you say it. But you can trust him, we have been friends since before I moved here." He says and I look between them all, sitting up finally.

I nod and River comes over to the bed and picks up Kingston, more like a pull on his arm though that makes him get up.

"They have to leave, but you will meet Reid better soon. I promise." He says and I nod as I close my eyes again, looking out at the black sky of night.

Then, about an hour of sleep and an hour of trying to sleep, a strike of lightning surges through the sky. I jump to the edge of the bed, the loud noises reminding me every time of a bad night.

The guns, the blood, me trying to crawl towards my sister but I couldn't. I could've saved her but I didn't. I didn't.

The third, the fourth, the fifth strikes show no sign of stopping as I stare out at the thick black clouds lining the sky. Tears line my eyes, threatening to come out but they can't. I won't let them.

The sixth one strikes and I throw myself off of the bed, landing in the floorboard next to me bed as I put my head between my knees.

I couldn't save her. I didn't save her. I could've saved her.

Suddenly I jump up, going towards my door and walking out into the dark hallway. Only traveling a few feet before reaching the door of Kingston's new guest room door.

His light is off, and I have no idea whether he is in there or out somewhere. But suddenly without thinking I just do it, I open the door a pit and walk in slowly.

As soon as I do so though anxiety riddles me with questions in my head. He probably won't like me in here anyway, I don't even know why he lets me live here.

I don't even know if it was worth it, taking this chance.

I slowly crawl in next to him in his bed, his arm wrapped around my body as he flinched at me coming here. Half awake, he reaches over me and puts his arms around me.

"You are allowed here anytime." He mumbles into my ear as he quickly goes back to sleep, and though the thunderstorm is still roaring, I feel safer. Only in his arms.

Though I think I wish I didn't.

Deep down I know I love it.