Chapter 13

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I LOOKED BEHIND me again and saw him approaching. At least this time I got the chance to pick an outfit, knowing he'd make an appearance. He had on a shirt and some beach shorts, nothing extra. Still, he pulled it off. I turned back in my seat and prepared a space for him. Maybe he'd be willing to sit here and talk with me all night since Chaitra couldn't. I hoped this wasn't an act of me taking advantage of him. Vanessa could come and sweep him up at any minute, so I should make use of him now. Soon he'd meet Zoe and fall in love and forget all about me. Let me do what I can while the opportunity stands.

"Tayla, great to see you've made an appearance." He said as he got closer. With each step he made, I felt more at ease in this unfamiliar environment.

"You're late."

"You were waiting for me, right?" He sat in the beach chair beside me. "Where's Chaitra? Vanessa said you were bringing a friend along."

"She's gone. Probably talking and drinking vodka. Or just talking."

"Don't you plan to go in the water and stuff? Or walk around, meet new people?"

I looked him in the face and shook my head. "I guess you didn't really know much about me then."

"People change, you said it yourself."

"I don't quite remember saying that."

"Maybe I dreamt it."

I stared at the sand my feet lay on, feeling my chest rise and deflate.

"I have to get a couple of drinks to do something so outrageous. I'm not the most talkative person."

"Right. We could get drinks, though. I want to see what outrageous things you can do."

I exhaled.

"I have to feel like I want to get drinks though. I'll stick with this fruit juice thingy Vanessa brought for me."

"Where is she, by the way?"

"I have no clue. There are many people here. You should look for her. She's got people for you to meet."

"What people?"

"Just future-wife candidates. You'll turn thirty before you know it. Start looking now."

"You sound like my mom."

I raised my eyebrows and included a simple nod. Sometimes facial expressions say things better than words could.

"Are you okay? I want to ask, even if you won't answer truthfully."

"I am okay."

I dwelt in a region of okay (ness) and un-okay (ness) if that made sense. Some aspects of my life were okay, but not my love life. I couldn't find a logical reason why, however.

"I hope you actually are." He trailed off. "It's so weird seeing you in glasses that aren't tested."

"Who says they aren't tested? Are you saying that because they look like sunglasses?"

"Umm...yes."

"That's what they want you to think." I pulled the glass down and gave a mysterious eye squint. "Aaron, don't feel pressured to stay here and talk to me. You can get drinks or girls."

"What are you talking about? I chose to stay here. I'm just feeling out the atmosphere."

"Okay." That is all I said as I glanced at the sky. What is wrong with you this time? If you want to talk about this weight on your shoulders, just do. Sometimes it's exhausting being invulnerable. I have a tendency to want to be comforted and understood, but I rather keep it locked in. Sometimes I wished someone could read my mind instead of me having to say what I really feel. Maybe I'd look less pathetic that way.

When I averted my glance from the sky, Chaitra was re-emerging from the crowd. She had on a headband that had the word SUMMER on it. I shook my head, wondering who put it there. Did she not say those things made her vomit?

"Aaron Cho? I hope you're being nice to my bestie." She said, holding a cup in her grip.

"I think I am."

"You better be," she said, then turned to me. "They have some salads and stuff on the menu. There is a bartending section over there. They have some very fancy drinks."

"Is that drink fancy, too? The one you're drinking?"

"Yes, I don't remember the name, but it's vodka with some lemony thing going on." She took a sip of it and winced. "I came back to update you. The vibe over there is way better. Vanessa is there too. You can come if you want to. I'm going again."

"Don't drink too much Chaitra!"

"I'll try not to!" She said and disappeared into the crowd once again.

By now, lights had been turning on, and the sun had been going down. Instead of fast-paced tunes, the DJ had switched to romantic songs. What a perfect ambience that surrounded us. People were snapping pictures of the view and some had paired up to dance. It was all a little too sweet.

"What did you plan to do when you came here?" Aaron suddenly asked as I stopped myself from focusing on those around me—those who seemed to enjoy life in their loved ones' embrace.

"I don't know. Sit and look pretty."

"You're doing that alright. But seriously, why did you come here? I came because I knew you were coming. I don't know why you did."

"I came for the same reason, Aaron," I mumbled, blaming the music and the vicinity for letting pangs of vulnerability seep through my mouth. I really wouldn't tell him this otherwise.

"What does that mean for us?"

I scoffed and shrugged. "I don't know. People change like the weather. You never know what someone is thinking. What it means is that—I don't want to deal with that uncertainty, but I have to. We end up trusting that someone is genuinely on our side, without knowing their thoughts. Even if they say their thoughts, you can never read their minds to confirm if it's true."

"So you don't think I actually like you?"

"I think sometimes I don't know if you're genuine. I still don't. You say empty words with no actions displaying those words."

"That was me. I'm different now. I was a teenager, and I adopted some things that weren't so great about my friends. Maybe we can try again. I want to be your boyfriend again."

I sighed and looked out at the horizon. The glistening water and subtle waves told their own stories. Every emotion bubbled through this healed, fist-sized heart of mine. I can't give him a chance to break it again.

"Do you know why I had a crush on you?"

"Umm...because I'm likeable."

"Not really. I liked you because you seemed stable and confident. Those were qualities I thought I lacked. You didn't seem to exalt yourself. Just an average, normal person who seemed okay with themselves. I soon realized maybe it was an act, hiding what was beneath. Then I started liking you because you were attractive, tall and had a pleasant smile."

"Thank you, I guess. You are being weirdly vulnerable today. Are you sure you're not tipsy?"

"I'm going to get a drink after this so I can forget everything I am saying now. But, I just feel like I don't know what to expect. We claim we're different now. But what if we bring out those not-so-wonderful things about each other?"

"I guess we deal with them instead of running away."

"I'll run away and you'll run away. That's a breakup in a nutshell."

"Well, maybe we can run away more elegantly. On the same page with no ills for each other."

"Can I say something?"

"Of course, go on."

"I want to get something fancy to drink."

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Author's note:

Thank you for reading! Let's see where Tayla and Aaron go on from now. Have a good one<3