Chapter 8

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I LAY IN bed like a burrito in a microwave, with my mind spinning on its own axis. I knew I should get up and spread my bed—probably even brush my teeth—but I felt like I did not want to. Maybe it took too much energy or maybe it was because I couldn't face Aaron. Maybe I should have just perished in my sleep. Perhaps that could solve all my current problems and those to come.

The truth was that I felt bad about all that had been happening. How did we move from meeting pleasantly at a pharmacy to arguing intensely at a library? A damn library! It was such an odd development.

What should I do now? It would be sad to know that I signed up for voluntary work only to stop going the next day. It was like promising something and not coming through with it. Maybe I could call the school and tell them I was sick and unable to make it. I certainly didn't think I was the first to do so.

"Tayla, isn't it time to get up? Don't you have the voluntary service at 10?" A voice, perhaps my mother's said, after a few knocks on the door.

I sighed as I reopened my eyes, "Yeah I do. I'll be down for breakfast soon."

"Alright. Hurry and don't be down late."

I forced myself to get off my bed. I was such a liar, weren't I? Saying that I would be down soon when I haven't even bathed. Where were my morals and conscience? No wonder Aaron said I haven't changed. I was just so...AHHH. Words were not able to explain my frustration at what I said and did yesterday.

I walked down the stairs from my room, clothed in loose jeans and a mauve cardigan—one convenient for my outfit and inconvenient for the weather. When I glanced through the bathroom windows during my bath, the sun seemed to be roasting the manicured lawn. And when I came into the kitchen and looked through the window, nothing changed.

"Tayvin, take off the headphones. Please and thank you." My mother said while I browsed through the contents of the fridge.

"I'm going to...just let me finish this round."

"The only round to complete right now is breakfast. Put down the game before I put it down for you."

Without even looking at her I knew that her eyebrows were lifted, her eyes bulged, and her lips were pursed to emphasize her message. A message that I, at my old age, heard loud and clear each time it was said. A message I knew to not take lightly.

"Okay, there. I'm done."

Soon, everyone was at the table except my father, as he enjoyed the comfort of his bed.

There was nothing extra on our plates—just scrambled eggs, waffles, sausage and a cup of tea on the side to wash it down. The simplicity managed to do it for me every time. That breakfast was the only nice thing that happened that morning.

"Tayla, where's all the energy you had yesterday? You don't look like you wanna go."

"I do, I'm just tired," I said after taking a sip of my chocolate tea.

"I know you like to be productive but...I thought you would be using the break to rest. Or get some painting and drawing done."

"Umm...I can't really think of anything good to paint or draw now."

"Don't overthink it. Just use this voluntary service to get some inspiration..." My mother said as she got up from the table.

The only thing I could do was flash a weak smile. I did not tell her that Aaron and I volunteered together nor did I tell her of all that was happening. Why would I? Why would I when I had it under control? At the end of the day, I seemed to gather anxiety rather than inspiration, at that elementary school's library.

"So, how many other people are volunteering with you?"

"A good number umm...I think it was two people. I don't know them though. More could come in, maybe—or I think so..."

"Oh okay." She mumbled while hovering over the sink. If there were as many cracks in my voice as I heard while I spoke, then she probably knew I was lying.

"It's almost 10:00 so I'm gonna head out," I said as I stood up, hoping that could stop her from pondering on my weak excuses. My brother sat across from me but he seemed to not care about a thing being uttered. That was a good thing, he couldn't tattle about what he didn't know about.

"Okay, see you later. Be safe."

I nodded and took up my classic tote bag with everything I needed to sustain myself. As I reached outside I pulled my headphones over my head as I pressed the play button on the device. The music started immediately and it gave me the energy I needed to walk to the bus stop.

I walked to the melody of the song, thinking of myself as the main character of a romance novel or a rom-com. Anything outside my current life and situation—because who daydreamed about their own life? Especially if it was sad and twisted. I'm sure no one does.

Soon, I reached that hooded shelter, and no one was there. It was lovely—the perfect environment for daydreaming and inspiration finding. I sat on the bench and looked outward. Cars and all manner of vehicles zapped past the bus stop and clouds formed and dispersed when l glanced higher. This was the kind of peace I desired.

The bus stopped at my feet around twenty minutes later. I stood quickly like it was a 'flight or fight' response. Then I lifted myself onto the platform, entered the bus and found a seat where I could continue my daydreaming where I left it off. I had to enjoy this moment of peace because when I began to walk the halls to find the library—I knew that peace would be disturbed by the one and only, Aaron Cho.

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Author's note:
Hello, goodies!! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. If yes, prove it to me with a vote and a comment!