13. The Not So Secret

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height




*Imani's POV*

I thought I was big shit after sending that text. I thought, if I own my gayness he couldn't control how I felt.

When I woke up I smiled at Leah in my arms. The alarm went off soon after that and I played it off as she woke up.

"Ughhhh I want to be home schooled" Leah groaned.

I chuckled a little. "It can't be that bad." She looked over at me.

"I really hope your optimism makes a difference." She said sarcastically. She got up and started getting ready.

I checked my phone and froze. I got a message back from Jamal. I guess I didn't expect him to actually reply. I expected a boy with that fragile of masculinity to ignore the message like it was never sent so he wouldn't have to deal with how wack his sex is.

I read his message and swallowed hard

Jamal: bet.

That's all it said. Honestly the fact that it was so short scared the fuck out of me.

"I don't want to show up lookin like a break up." Leah said throwing her sweats back in the closet. "Okay, I'll wear a dress."

I thought about telling her about the message I sent him but, I had a feeling she'd just get mad at me. I'm sure she doesn't want anyone knowing we fucked. Especially not the motherfucker tryna out me.

When we got to school shit was far from normal. Everywhere I went someone was looking at me funny. I was surprised by the amount of girls who actually didn't look disgusted at all.. more interested then anything.

"I guess he told the school." Leah said looking around. "I'm so sorry you got in this"

"Leah..."

"No it's my fault.. if I had just left him alone the first time I found out he cheated, this wouldn't be happening."

"I mean, it's whatever. I'm gay... I couldn't just hide it through high school."

We walked up to her classroom. "Ughhh I don't want to leave you alone."

I smiled a little "I'll be fine. All these people watching me, can't nobody do nothing to me."

She sighed "text me." She said before going into her classroom.

I turned the corner to leave and almost ran into a big ass chest.

It was Denzel from the football team.

He looked down at me with a serious face.

"I seen what you sent to my homeboy."

I swallowed hard.

"What you got to say now?"

"You're in my way. I need to get passed you." I tried to look over him but it seems like the hallway was getting pretty empty. Everybody was already in first period

"Nah, nah... you said you got good mouth.. I'm tryna see what that mouth do."  I was scared out of my fucking mind. The Nigga big as fuck.

I tried to slide to my right and go around him but he slid with me.

"Don't be shy... you weren't last night."

When someone cleared their throat I sighed in relief. He spun around and we both saw my history teacher for 3rd block.

"Class." She said staring at us.

I watched Denzel go left and immediately decided to go right while Mrs.stokes was still in the hall watching us. I don't think she knows she just saved me.

I stood outside of my classroom door tryna to regulate my breathing.

When I finally went in and sat down I looked at my phone. I had like 15 friend request from different girls, 2 texts  from Yaya and a text from Leah.

I opened Leah's first.

Leah: bitch I told you to text me are you okay?

Imani: Yea I was rushing, I ain't look at my phone my bad

I opened Yaya's messages

Yaya: I shouldn't be messaging your ass cause you left me on read last night.

Yaya: what happened to you not wanting to come out. Now hella bitches asking me about you and asking if I'm talking to you.

I sighed.

Imani: it's long story. Jamal outted me 🙄

Yaya: Hmm lemme guess you told Leah he's not shit, he found out it was you and outted you cause he's salty.

Imani: yep. Pretty much.

Yaya: see you had no reason to be scared of coming out. These little girls going crazy over you. Which is why we need to talk about us.

"Imani" my teacher said making me snap my head up. The whole class was looking at me. They were probably just waiting for a reason.

"Put the phone up."

I did and gladly. I never told Yaya I would want a relationship after I came out. What does she mean 'us?'







"Soooo how did your morning go?" Leah asked me as we stood in the canteen line at lunch.

Honestly I was busy looking around trying to make sure nobody was coming up to start shit.

"It's fine, everybody acting like they never fucking seen me before, that's annoying."

"Mani?" I heard an unfamiliar girly voice say behind me.

Leah was facing me so she could see the person. She was looking confused as fuck.

I turned around and it was some girl, she dressed cute. Her skirt was definitely against school dress code and she was wearing heels. She had a fresh frontal, on some 'lace where?' type shit and no makeup on just lashes. I think I've seen her before but we definitely weren't familiar enough for her to be calling me Mani.

"Uhhh hey..."

"Camile" she said filling in the spot for me. "I'm head of the year book.. I was wonder if you'd like to be on the year book team." She said giving me a flirty look.

I looked over at Leah, she looked annoyed as fuck.

"Oh, um.. I'm just tryna get some lunch right now.."

She giggled a little. "Duh Camilla," she said rolling her eyes at herself. "Well, I sent you a friend request on Facebook.. after you accept it you can hit me up and let me know.. or you can just hit me up."

Leah cleared her throat. Camile turned towards her. "oh are you her girlfriend? I'm sorry I didn't know-"

"No.. no" Leah said quickly

"Oh" Camilla said turning her attention back to me. "Like I said, hit me up... I like your style by the way." She said touching my arm before turning and leaving .

I chuckled a little but apparently Leah didn't find it funny.

"She really came over here acting like a hoe." She said before she telling the cashier what she wanted.

I laughed "you don't think that's a little dramatic"

She squinted her eyes at me. "No. That was some hoe shit."

We both got what we wanted and started walking away. I swear I thought lunch would be smooth, until Jamal stood in our way.

I never saw a crowd form so quickly in my life. Everybody knew it was gonna be some tea. Leah fought over Jamal and they still ended up breaking up and Jamal outted me, they were so ready to see what was gonna happen next.

"Ya know Leah... I should've known what was up when you broke up with me.. it ain't have nothing to do with me. It was your little best friend sucking on your pussy every night Huh?"

I heard a lot of 'oh shit' and gasp and laughs and whispers.

Leah looked hurt.

"Nah she left you because yo ass can't last more then 7 seconds but still got the nerve to cheat."

Of course me saying that only got our crowd more hype.

"But I bet you last all night for her don't you? Little weird dyke bitch. Y'all some just nasty ass fucking carpet munchers."

"Shut the fuck up Jamal! You don't know what your talking about! I'm not gay" Leah finally spoke up.

Jamal pulled up his phone.

"Well according to Imani.."

Fuck.

Leah looked at me.

"Leah's pussy taste sooooo good.. I'm talking waterfalls." He read out loud.

Everybody was eating up the drama.

I will never unsee the look Leah's eyes when she looked at me .

"You want me to keep going?" Jamal smirked.

She wouldn't stop looking at me.

"Leah..."

She shook her head. There were tears in her eyes. She pushed through the crowd leaving.

Fuuuccckkkk. My own damn mouth fucked me up. I turned to leave And I saw Yaya.

"What the fuck Imani?" She was Looking at me as if she was waiting for answers.

"Ooo somebody got some explaining to do" Jamal laughed with his friend. I cut through the crowd trying to chase after Leah. I swear I went after her seconds after she left but by the time I got through everybody standing in my way, she was gone.

I searched the nearest bathrooms, when I couldn't find her I checked to see if she had went to her next block early. No sign of her.



*LEAH'S POV*

I can't fucking believe her.

"You want me to keep going?" Jamal smirked mocking me.

There were so many people watching, soaking up the drama.

Why would she tell him that? She knew he was gonna out her... of course he would tell everybody.

I looked over at Imani, she had a stupid surprised look on her face.

"Leah..."

I could feel my emotions forcing their way out. I couldn't be there anymore. I pushed through the crowd. I couldn't stand there and get laughed at.

I went to the library. I knew she wouldn't look for me there. I don't think she's even set foot in our school library. I could feel the tears coming as I pushed through the glass door. Tears of anger and confusion. How did she think saying any of that would help anything? All it did was hurt my fucking feelings.

My phone dinged.

Imani: Leah I'm sorry.

I glared at the message.

I don't think she is. I think she didn't want to come out alone. She drug me into this and I'm not even gay. Now everybody knows she ate my pussy. I don't even know why I let her. I was hurt that Jamal cheated and I let my feelings get in the way.. if anything I did it to be spiteful.

Imani: answer me please... we can talk about this.

Leah: oh trust me we will.

When school let out my mom picked us up. I sat in the front seat looking straight forward trying not to cuss Imani out in the car. Everytime my eyes went to the review mirror she had this dumb look on her face. I could tell my mom could feel the tension she kept peaking back at Imani and at me.

As soon as we pulled up to the house I slammed the car door and went straight upstairs. I paced around my room waiting for Imani to come in.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled at her as soon as she shut the door.

"Leah.."

"No! Not no damn Leah, why the fuck would you do that? Why would you make ANYBODY think I was gay like you?!"

She swallowed. "I- it was wrong as fuck! I was high as shit and was pissed off that he treated you like that so I sent him a message to piss him off."

"You're such a fucking dumbass!"

"I know, it was stupid-"

"No you DONT! Know... I'm not gay! I'm not a lesbian, I'm not a dyke! I LIKE DICK! And because of you now everybody thinking I like pussy!"

"What's so wrong with that?"

"EVERYTHING! I don't like pussy! I don't like girls! It's nasty! I'm straight!"

She looked hurt. "Wooowwww! You acting like a fucking bitch! It's nasty?...you weren't saying that when I was eating your pussy. I didn't know he was gonna tell every fucking body! 80% of the message was me clowning him for not being shit! He just chose to read the only part of me talking about what we did."

"WE didn't do anything! You ate my pussy ONCE! That's it! And I swear your fucking obsessed with it!"

"There you go again! Being a fucking asshole! Because EVERYBODY'S so obsessed with Leah and what's Leah's doing. You say you like dick, you like dick. Tell me what dick you've had besides Jamal's inadequate ass? He couldn't even make you fucking cum! But your so worried about making sure you don't like pussy! What were you gonna tell me yesterday huh? What were saying you were in denial about?!"

My mouth opened but nothing came out. That's not fair! She's using how I felt yesterday when my adrenaline was pumping against me.

"Don't try to fucking Switch shit on me! You're the problem Imani! You're the one who went running your fucking mouth! We wouldn't even be having this argument right now if you would just shut the fuck up!"

I saw tears working up her eyes.

"You think I don't know that?! I've been dreading that moment all day! I knew it was a mistake when I woke up this morning! I know I should've shut the fuck up! I'm the fucking problem! I know me being gay is the fucking problem! You keep telling me!"

I was so angry at her but the last thing I wanted to do was make her cry. I wanted to comfort her, make her stop crying. But I couldn't shake my emotions. She picked up her bookbag.

"Where the fuck are you going?" I asked annoyed. I knew I should've been more gentle, she's literally in tears but I couldn't control my words or how angry I sounded. I was trying but it was all coming out wrong.

"I'm taking away the fucking problem." She spat through her tears before slamming my room door behind her.

"Imani... Imani!" I followed her out of the room and down the stairs.

"Imani!"

At this point she as walking out of the house and I was following right behind her.

"WHAT?!" She yelled swinging around, her face was splotchy, her mascara was runny. Looking at her made my brain flash to this morning when I stood in between her legs and she sat down letting me put the mascara on her. The smile on her face as she looked up at me. I hate to see her in tears.

"What do you want?! I already said I fucked up! I already said I was wrong! You already made it clear to me that being gay is the worst fucking thing in the world! Let me removed the problem for you! Let me remove myself!"

"NO! You don't just get to walk away from this! You always do this! Everytime your not the one in the right you always try to leave the situation! You ALWAYS run away when you can't just joke yourself out of the situation!"

"Maybe it's because I can't handle you looking at me like that. Maybe it's because I'm fucking ashamed! I'm angry at myself that I hurt you! M I don't feel like I deserve to be in your house! Eating your food! In your room! In your bed! When I know my whole existence fucking grosses you out!"

"Imani... you don't gross me out." I said lowering my voice a little.

" you can't just talk shit about gay people, about lesbians saying how wrong it is! How nasty it is! Then say but not you! It doesn't work like that? I'm that gay nasty dyke bitch that your running from being so fucking bad!"

"But your not. Your my bestfriend."

"And I'm gaaaayyyyyy. It's not gonna change! You think gay people are disgusting and I am gay! Therefore you think I'm disgusting..."

"Your not just gay, your Imani.. I've known you since the second grade.. I know everything about you.. your my bestfriend. The best friend I've ever had."

"And so are other gay people... do you really think no other gay person in the world has family, friends, a fucking life?! Listen to yourself. Listen to how that sounds."

"I-I never thought of it that way, I'm so sorry.. Imani.. I've been a terrible bestfriend.. I've been a fucking bitch." I hugged her tight. She didn't hug me back.

"I already know your not gonna want to be anywhere near me after this but I'm tired of keeping this to myself. I feel like you know but you act like you don't."

I let go of her wiping away her tears. "What? What is it? you can tell me anything."

she looked like she was panicking inside, like she wanted to run away from her own words I felt like I could visibly see her heart beating. She looked away like it was hurting her.

"I have feelings for you Leah." After the words came out of her mouth she looked at me.

I didn't know how to react.. how do you react when your lesbian best friend says she has feelings for you.

I felt confused, slightly hurt.. why is she telling me this? Why add another layer to our already fucked up day. I'm already trying to process everything.

She studied my face and when my brain couldn't manage to jumble up some words she turned walking away .

"Imani, wait..."

"For what? For you to tell me it's fucking disgusting.. I don't want to do this Leah."

I grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away.

"Your coming back in with me."

She looked at me confused. I knew it. I knew she had feelings for me. Yes I was trying to avoid it but it's here. It's out in the open.

"Imani, I said this a million times, your my bestfriend. Theirs nothing you can do to make me change that."

She looked a little disappointed. Maybe she expected me to tell her I have feelings too. But honestly I don't know how to feel yet. I like Imani, I tease her for wanting to kiss me, but I want to kiss her too... that's why I do it. I love talking to her, we never run out of things to talk about. She's the funnest person to take out, if I'm dancing, she's dancing... if I'm crying she's crying... I love being around her... I don't love being called a lesbian... I don't know, when I feel certain ways about her I feel like it's weird or wrong.

I don't want to just say hey I have feelings too, then wake up tomorrow feeling wrong when she kisses me, when she touches me... but I also don't want to tell her there's no feelings there because that's just a straight up lie. Imani gives me butterflies just her existence makes my heart flutter.

Her arm was stiff for a second but she let her guard down letting me lead her towards the door.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net