THIRTY

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❤︎ how much do you guys love me? Because this chapter contains a warning x
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   "Have you seen the new boy?"

   "OMG, he's so hot."

   "That's not a new boy, that's Roman Lawrence."

   "Who's Roman Lawrence?"

   "God, isn't he gorgeous?"

  It was all I had been hearing for the last four days at school. Constant gossip about a new boy, people shocked at Roman's transformation, rumours of a new steroid that gave you instant muscles. At some of them I rolled my eyes and at others I couldn't help but get a little tinge of annoyance.

  I heard a bunch of Freshmen girls chatting in the girls' bathroom about if he was foreign or not and I had to hold in my laughter, then they started discussing his dick size and I wanted to slap them all. Like, they're Freshmen! Literal babies! Yet Roman seemed to have caught their eyes. Roman seemed to have caught everyone's eye.

   "Spring Fling tickets on sale!" Alyse, the cheer captain, screamed as we stood at the booth in our cheer uniforms, stupidly selling tickets. This, unfortunately, was Rya's idea and so I had to follow along with it.

  I stood behind the booth, my hair pulled back into a ponytail and the thick polyester of the top and skirt itched my skin. However, I stuck a smile on my face to hide the pain and handed out tickets to those who wanted to buy.

  So far, we had a line of over twenty people and more were adding on to the ends. So many Seniors wanted to go to the dance this year because it was the last one. It wasn't like we weren't having Prom in a couple months' time after, but I guess there was something different about Spring Fling. It didn't mean a goodbye just yet.

   "I heard the music girls gossiping in the piano studio at lunch about Roman." Rya whispered by my side as she took the money from one girl. "And let's just say Emily Lewis looked very interested."

  I handed the ticket to the girl and gave her a fake, cheery smile. "Did she?"

  Rya hummed, "Mm hm. Looks like Roman's caught her eye."

   "Roman's caught everyone's eye." I handed another ticket to a boy now at the front.

   "Exactly, that'll mean Emily's got some competition. She'll be at the other end of the stick."

  Even though I knew Roman would instantly pick Emily out of all the girls who were now interested in him, I still remarked, "I'm sure he'll love that." He probably would. Even though he wasn't one for attention, I was sure the girls swooning as he walked past boosted his confidence.

   "Is he going to ask her out?"

   "Ask who out?" I tilted my head to the side.

   "Ask Emily out, dumbass. Or is he going to play the waiting game." That was a good question. Now that he had Emily's attention, Roman made the rules. This was his game now, however, I wondered whether Emily would still be bothered over his sexual experience. We've done many sexual things but not all. Fuck, Roman even asked to have sex in the changing room on Saturday but I didn't know if he meant it or not. People say all sorts of things in a time of desperation, and I didn't know if Roman actually wanted to or felt too horny to care. Either way, I wanted him to be completely, one-hundred-percent ready when we had sex for the first time.

   "I'm not sure." I replied. "I'll have to ask him." I have to see where his head's at. During tutoring, he was back to being the same Roman. However, the awkward tension that bit between us around the same time as my birthday remained to linger and I wanted to know the reason why.

  Despite that, on a good note, my grades were improving, and I totally showed up Mademoiselle Blanchet in French class this morning. Even the snarky side comment I made afterwards went straight over her head as she stood there stunned and my newfound knowledge. Take that, bitch.

   "You have tutoring tonight, though?"

   "Yeah." I nodded; I'll ask him then. "I'll ask him then."

  Rya took the money off another boy and walked behind me to place it in the basket. We decided to put half the earnings of the tickets towards the girls' soccer team because they desperately needed new uniforms whereas the boys' soccer team got custom-made ones every year. The other half went towards the Spring Fling decorations obviously, but with the way the sales were going, the girls' soccer team could buy two sets of custom uniforms, one for home games and another for away.

   "Good, maybe you can ask him where he thinks this is from." Rya reached in her skirt pocket and pulled out another pink piece of card.

   "Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love." Another note from the secret admirer. I studied it carefully.

   "It sounds like Hamlet." I concluded.

   "Well, whoever said it is stupid because everyone knows the stars are partially made of fire. Does this person think he's special for knowing that?"

   "It's a love note, Rya! Not some scientific showdown." I chuckled. She sighed and shoved the note back into her pocket. "Are you sure you don't know who's doing it?" I handed someone else some tickets as she took their money.

   "No. This has never happened to me before, believe it or not."

  I rolled my eyes. "There must be someone."

   "If I had any clue as to who it was, you'd be the first one I'd tell. Trust me."

  I held my hands up in defence and shrugged, "Okay, okay."

   "Get to work, ladies, these tickets aren't going to sell themselves!" Alyse chirped next to us clapping her hands together.

  Nikki beside us gagged. "Someone that cheery has to be on crack." She swirled her dot on the 'i' as she wrote a list of decorations needed for the dance. She had a point.

❦❤︎❦

  Thursday was also one of the stormiest days we've had in months, I had to hold on to my jacket as I made my way up the Lawrence's porch in fear it'd get blown away. By the time I rang the doorbell, thunder rumbled in a heavy crescendo, growling against the thick, murky, grey clouds roiling up above.

  I banged on the door so he could hear me against the noise of the wind and waited with my jacket wrapped around my body tightly as small pellets of rain just began to commence their splatter against the concrete driveway.

  When Roman opened the door, he immediately let me in, and the warmth of the house indulged me. Ah, Heaven.

  He quickly shut the door and took my jacket from me, hanging it up on the coat rack.

   "It looks like there's going to be a storm tonight." He commented, walking back. All the lights in the house were on making the atmosphere cosier contrasting with the dark gale going on outside.

   "Where are your parents?" I looked around. I asked Roman if we could postpone tutoring tonight again as I was helping Rya make more decorations in the Gym. They were looking pretty good so far.

   "They're out visiting family a couple hours away. They should be back for dinner, they said you could stay if you want."

   "No but thank you." I denied. "My mom's making Dim Sums tonight."

  He pulled back a little, "Your mom makes Chinese food?" shit.

   "Something like that." I muttered under my breath and followed him towards the kitchen. "So, are we doing Chemistry today?"

   "Mm hm." He hummed. "Got your textbook?"

  I pulled it out my bag and presented it like a million-dollar prize. "Yep!" god, I sounded so eager.

  For the next two hours, I worked through worksheets, made flashcards, was tested with said flashcard multiple times, and started on my Chemistry homework. The time flew by quick, but I couldn't help but feel Roman's stares as I kept my head down and did my work.

  I additionally couldn't help but wonder what was running through his mind. He wore his glasses today thankfully, so he looked kind of like himself, but I was still getting used to the new hair and clothes. I didn't know what his parents thought of it yet, but I assumed they liked it too, I mean, who wouldn't? He looked good. So good.

  However, something between us felt off. It like the same as it was before, the awkwardness pending into the air, capturing us in an uncomfortable aura. The silence was bleeding like an accidental slip of the knife that cuts off the tip of your thumb. It was a raw wound of something that bled between us, but I didn't know of what and, most of all, why.

  By the time I had finished up my homework, the wind was whipping against the windows, tackling tree branches as the rain pounded down hard and the deep crackles of thunder ferociously growled through the clouds. Jolts of lightening split from the sky and I'd count up the seconds till then to see how far away the storm really was.

  Roman collected my work and placed it in his little, red folder that contained the previous stuff I'd done.

   "So..." I drawled on. "How are you liking the attention?"

  He turned back to me and narrowed is eyes in puzzlement.

   "What attention?" was he kidding?

   "You know, the one from all the girls totally crushing on you now." I teasingly grinned but he still didn't get it.

   "I don't have tonnes of girls crushing on me now." He effortlessly denied.

  I laughed, "Oh, c'mon! You so do! In fact, Emily Lewis has been taking an interest in you."

   "She has?" a slight surprise rang in his voice as his eyes widened.

  I nodded, "Mm hm. Rya overheard the music girls gossiping, just like how every girl has been gossiping about you."

  There wasn't much enthusiasm in his expression after I mentioned that. He only shrugged and walked to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Why did he not care? I knew he'd have a reaction to Emily, but I assumed the other girls would mean something to him too. Did she really mean that much to him that every other girl in his world disappeared? Did I disappear around her too?

   "Why don't you care?" I finally gave in, huffing a little. He turned back around and took a long sip of water.

   "Am I supposed to?"

   "Yes!" I exclaimed. "Jesus, Roman! You'd think after your whole transformation you'd have a bit of an A-game." I placed a hand on my hip and palmed myself in the forehead.

  He screwed the cap back on the bottle. "Why is it bothering you so much?"

   "Because!" I began but didn't really know where I was going with this. "Because.... Because Rya and I worked hard to make you look good so you could at least appreciate it a little more." That was a shitty explanation now saying it out loud.

  He placed the bottle down and raised a brow at me. "Appreciate it? And how would I appreciate it?"

  "By caring!"

   "And what should I be caring about?" urgh, was he dumb? To be honest, I didn't even know if I was making any sense, but an annoyance bubbled up inside of me.

   "You know, you've been a real ass these last few weeks." I muttered harshly under my breath and stalked back to the kitchen table, aggressively beginning to pack everything back up in my bag.

   "Excuse me?" Roman said as if he couldn't believe what had just come out of my mouth.

   "You heard what I said." I grumbled.

  His footsteps stalked towards me as the thunder erupted in crescendo outside. "I literally haven't done anything to you and now you're in a mood." He let out an unbelievable laugh, running a hand through his hair.

   "That's the problem!" I cried. "You haven't done anything! These past few weeks you've been ignoring me, walking away, only on Friday and Saturday did you give me something!" I held my breath after my outburst flared from my lips and nervously watched his jaw ticked.

   "I haven't done anything?! You barley said a word to me on Saturday! And so what if I've been a bit distant? I have other things going on in my life other than you believe it or not!" he aggravatedly crossed his arms over his chest.

   "Oh poor fucking Roman with such a busy, little life. What the hell do you even do, huh?! Read books about brains, play chess or that stupid video game?!"

  He got up closer to me and lowly defended, "You know fuck all about my life. Shut up."

   "You know fuck all about mine." I spat back. "So don't go thinking you're the special one here. We've all got shit to deal with but at least I'm not avoiding people because of it." I didn't know what the 'busy things' were in Roman's life, but I could instantly tell it was a delicate spot to hit and evidently made him upset. I could see the beam of emotions flashing through his eyes as whatever going on behind closed doors flashed behind them. "Got nothing to say now, do you, nerd-boy?" but he didn't know anything about my life either. I couldn't blame him, but Roman believed all my troubles either revolved around grades or rich-bitch stuff like everyone else in town assumed. He didn't know what was going on behind my closed doors. Only Rya knew. And Adam which made the whole Leah thing much more terrifying.

  Sometimes I wanted to open up to him but opening up meant cracking the glass on the windows of the tower of my reputation and I couldn't do that. That was weakness.

   "You're a bitch, you know that?" he glared at me through angry eyes.

   "Oh yeah, you can suck –" a blazing light of lightening burst through the windows as the thunder screamed, causing all power in the house to shut off. Including the lights. "Well, that was perfect timing." I sighed as the dark spread around us.

  Roman pulled back a little as we were eloped in complete darkness. The storm outside crackled as the rain pounded against the cold glass of the windows. It was completely dark out and the iciness of the night began to creep in.

   "My mom has some flashlights and candles somewhere." He replied. "Let me go get them."

  I stood like an idiot in the dark as Roman rummaged through draws and cupboards, finally finding some flashlights and a huge box of candles. He didn't let me light the candles, but he handed me a flashlight and I made my way to the living room.

  I peered outside the window to see the obsidian sky smothered with clouds, crying brutal bullets of rain and cruel curls of wind. The leaves on the trees were tousling so hard I was scared the whole thing might fall over.

  I didn't know how long I stood there, wrapping my arms around my bare shoulders exposed in my top, beholding the storm, and studying the houses across the street to see if their power was off as well. I couldn't tell.

  Roman reappeared with a tray of candles and began placing them around the living room to bring back some light.

   "I just got off the phone with my mom." He began, I walked over to the couch where he stood, rubbing my hands up and down my arms to build a thin blanket of heat. "The storm blew down some trees and are blocking the road, they're stuck and can't get back."

   "What are they going to do?" I asked.

   "They're going to stay round my aunt and uncle's for the night. Someone's called emergency services, but they can't make it out in the storm until it passes which they believe will be tomorrow afternoon, and that's thinking very optimistically."

  I watched as he placed down the last candle on the mantle and walked back behind the sofa. "She said you could stay the night."

   "Stay the night?" I repeated. Stay the night? Like here? Where else, Sienna?

   "Yeah." He nodded.

  I shook my head and wrapped my arms tighter around myself. "No, no. It's fine, I can –"

   "Are you really suggesting you can go out in that storm?" he raised a brow, "The storm that cut the power, knocked down a few trees, and is something emergency services can't even get out in till tomorrow?" shit, he had a good point, but staying the night? The furthest thing I've done here is have dinner and staying the night seemed like a big deal.

   "Where would I sleep?"

  Roman looked around and shrugged. "We've got a spare mattress in the garage and my mom's got tonnes of pillows and blankets. You can stay down here." I wouldn't stay in his bed. With him. Maybe he didn't want you to.

  I dithered it in my head and by 'dithered' I meant stayed as quiet as possible because I knew there was no way I could leave in this storm.

  Eventually, I broke the silence. "I'll have to call my mom."

  He nodded his head and looked back out the window behind me. "I'll grab the mattress."

   "D'you need help?" he still had to go outside in the storm to get to the garage and I was scared he might get blown away. Blown away? You think a 6ft4, boxer could get blown away? Alright, yeah, that sounded pretty stupid, but the storm was still rough.

   "No, it's okay. The mattress is in a cover, so it won't get wet." He thought I was concerned about the mattress. Not him.

   "Oh, okay... cool." I reached for my bag to call my mom.

  One phone-call and a trip to the garage later, I had told my mom I was staying round Roman's and even though she was concerned, she was glad I wasn't going out into the storm. Roman was in the middle of setting up the mattress with dozens of pillows and blankets when I said,

   "D'you want to drown me in those?" his head shot up at the sound of my voice and he laughed softly.

   "The power's out, meaning the heating too. That means it's going to be a cold night and I'd rather you not freeze to death."

  I smiled softly and sat down on the sofa, crossing my legs. "Is there anything I could change into?" I gestured to my top and mini skirt. His eyes scanned all over my body, not letting an inch of skin go unexamined by his piercing eyes.

   "Erm, yeah. Sure." He shook himself out of his stare and got up from his knees. The unfinished argument we were having beforehand still lingered like rainclouds in the air and my stomach growled at the craving for my mom's cooking. I rested my chin on my palm as I waited for Roman to come back downstairs with clothes in his arms. He placed them down on the armchair and I inspected them.

  Unfolding the grey sweatpants, I knew were far too big for me, I held out the red hoodie and memories of it hanging in the thrift store flooded my mind.

   "I thought we bought the blue one?" I questioned Roman as he searched through a stack of takeout menus on the shelf under the coffee table.

   "Huh?"

   "The blue hoodie. The one we bought on Saturday. We didn't get the red one." I scrunched together my brows in confusion.  

  "Oh." He said and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, we didn't, but I liked the red one too, so I went back and bought it myself later." I couldn't help but feel like there was something more to it however before I could begin to ask, he held up a takeout menu.

   "You hungry?"

   "No." my stomach growled in argument. "Yes."

  He laughed and grabbed his phone, "Since you didn't get your mom's Dim Sums, how's about we order some Chinese." My stomach did a backflip.

   "Okay." I played it cool. You idiot.

  We sat more or less in silence for the rest of the night. Roman decided to put on some random Si-Fi movie and, even as the Chinese came, we remained in silence

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