"So... how was it?"

   "How was what it?" I said as Rya asked as we sat on the bleachers of the football field.

   "How was what?" I asked, scrolling through Instagram.

   "You know, Roman?" I looked up at her. I spend the whole of last night calming her down and making up some elaborate plan. She was going to turn this herpes story into a sob story and cry to the Drama Club because 'she couldn't believe Christopher would be so insensitive and share such personal information for his own selfish sake'. We also made them cupcakes.

  Cupcakes fixed everything.

   "It was fine, we didn't do much." I answered. Rya raised a brow. "What?"

   "What did you do?"

   "Kissing?"

   "Like a makeout?"

   "Kinda."

   "Tongue?"

   "No."

   "Shame." She hummed and looked back at her textbook. "When's your next tutoring session?"

  I filled out the schedule last night after I got home from Rya's. I had nothing better to do and the sooner we had a schedule, the sooner I could get to graduating.

   It worked out like this:
Monday after school - French
  Wednesday morning, sigh, – Biology

  So far, Tuesdays and Saturdays were Roman free which was a relief.

   "Tomorrow morning, we're going to the library because guess who's at the library at 7am?"

   "Who?" Rya dumbfoundedly asked.

   "Fucking no one." I smiled happily. I looked back at my phone and almost screamed. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

  Rya jumped and closed her book. "What's happened?"

  I shoved my phone in her face, "Look!" Rya knotted her eyebrows together and studied the picture on my Instagram feed. It was a new picture Adam posted.

   "It's Adam?" She said slowly.

   "And?" I prompted.

   "He's in a bathtub?"

   "Look closer!" I commanded.

  Rya sighed, "Sienna, I can't see anything more than a half-naked Adam in a bathtub." I took my phone away from my face and zoomed into the picture. The mirror to the side of him in particular.

   "Look at that!" I shoved the phone back in her face. Rya rolled her eyes and looked again. "In the mirror, look in the mirror." I clarified. A few seconds later, Rya's mouth gaped.

   "No fucking way!"

   "Yes fucking way!" I pulled the phone away and groaned. It was hard to see, but in the mirror, you could barely make out and girl with golden brown hair, tan skin, wearing a black, oversize T-shirt. Adam's black, T-shirt.

  Leah fucking vanilla Kingston.

   "I thought Satan's spawn was keeping an eye on her." I noticed the nickname Rya had given Christopher.

   "I did too! What the fuck?" I sighed angrily and shoved the phone into my bag. "Why did this have to happen to me? Out of every fucking person in this school, God chose me to torment. Urgh!" I stomped my foot, and the echo went through the bleachers. People looked around narrow eyed.

   "It's the density." I gave a fake smile and they all looked away.

   "Actually, it's the –"

   "I don't care what it is!" I hissed. "I'm losing Adam to some basic, virgin girl! What is this? A Wattpad fanfiction?" I threw my hands in the air.

   "Look, how about you forget about this Adam thing for a while. As you said, he'll just get bored of her and'll come crawling back to you. Focus on Roman and making him this 'sex god' and then Adam will be so jealous you've spent all this time with some overnight hottie and won't just come crawling back – he'll be begging."

  And this, ladies and gentlemen, was why I loved Rya Elizabeth McCoy. I grabbed her face and kissed her cheek,

   "Honey, you are a genius." I said before grabbing my stuff and ran down the steps of the bleachers.

  I slid the schedule into Roman's locker by the end of the day and knew he had gotten it when he mentioned it the next morning. I found myself focussing more in the quiet of the library when it was mainly just me and Roman and a few old early birds.

   "Your History is much better." Roman commented as he handed me back my test sheet. Eight out of twenty, baby. That was almost half the marks! "If you did your homework, you'd be getting more than half." He then said and I rolled my eyes.

   "Urgh, don't talk to me about History homework."

   "Why?" he cocked his head to the side. He couldn't be serious.

   "Seriously?! Mr Dennis is literally the most boring person alive – so much so, the guy shouldn't even be alive. I swear he was born in the stone age –"

   "– That's rude –"

   "– And the homework takes forever! I could watch the whole of Gossip Girl in the time it takes to do it." I held up a finger to finish my point. "You have to agree."

   "I think Mr Dennis is a very kind and educated man. It's a shame nobody actually listens to him." He frowned.

  I scoffed. "Because he's boring."

   "And what? You'd do your homework if some Harry Styles lookalike taught your class?"

   "First of all, no one can ever look as good as Harry Styles, so a lookalike isn't even an option, but if he also set, I don't know, not such depressing, drawling homework, people would actually want to do it." I never understood why teachers set homework in the first place. I do six hours of learning five days a week and you think I need more of it at home? My friend, you aren't making kids smarter, you're making them mentally unstable.

  Roman ripped off a slice of paper from my test. "Hey, I was proud of that!"

   "Here." He gave it to me. It had a random website written on it.

   "What is it?" I asked.

   "It's a history website. They make documentaries in the style of Netflix shows. The acting's a bit bad and the CGI is questionable but it's entertaining nonetheless." He explained.

   "No way." I looked at him. "There is no way a history documentary could be entertaining."

   "They are."

   "That's because you like History." I argued.

   "Just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean I like it." He shot back.

  I grew curious. "What do you like?"

   "This isn't to do with the work." he shook his head and got out a textbook.

   "Oh c'mon." I laughed, "Everyone likes something."

   "Science." He gave in with a sigh. "I like Science." Ew. That explained why Mrs Sanders liked him so much. They must bond over their love of atoms and pH charts. Don't throw up. "Now can we get back to the work?"

  I groaned. "Urgh, fine."

  Rya's car was waiting outside by the time we finished to drive me to school. Roman had his own car and offered me a ride but I politely denied. He knew why.

   "What are your parents doing Sunday?" I asked him as we stood outside.

   "My... my parents?" he was taken a back a bit as he stared at me. I nodded "Erm, they usually visit my grandma every Sunday for lunch."

   "Perfect. We'll need the house to ourselves." Heat creeped up Roman's neck as I said so.

   "W-Why?" he stuttered.

   "My part of the deal. You'll see." I winked before walking to Rya's car.

  As soon as I got in and grabbed the bagel that she had gotten for me on the way here, Rya turned to me with a cocked eyebrow.

   "What?"

   "The boy blushes like a thirteen-year-old who's discovered Fifty Shades of Grey on their mom's nightstand." She said. "He can't seriously be that innocent."

  I chuckled. "You have no idea."

❦❤︎❦

  Ignoring Adam was hard. Everywhere I turned I could see him, and I so desperately wanted to talk to him. Trying not to bitch at Leah was even harder.

D'you know what it feels like to have a guy who has always been there for you, always loved you, always told you that you're amazing and strong and beautiful, then they go and find somebody else? It sucks.

  I caught Leah looking at me and I narrowed my eyes at her. She got scared and looked away. Rightfully so. Like who the hell does she think she is? Does she think she can play this game? She can't because she's not a player, but a pawn, and I ruled this system.

   Cheer practice after school also sucked. I wasn't Head Cheerleader much to a surprise, some preppy girl named Alysa was, but I was glad, the girl had so much energy and smiles she could make the sun from Teletubbies look borderline depressed.

  Saturday rolled by and before I knew it, Sunday came along. My parents didn't work on Sundays and so they hung out in our back garden drinking rare blends of tea. I told them I was going to Rya's and they had no complaints. I hadn't told them about Roman yet, however. I didn't want to see the disappointed looks on their faces.

  One of the cars in the driveway was gone and so I assumed Roman's parents were out. I didn't know if his sister was home though. She had only been mentioned once and I let her slip my mind, but I couldn't have some fifteen-year-old girl waltzing in on Roman and I. Fifteen-year-olds liked to gossip as much as the next person and I couldn't let that happen.

  I rang the doorbell and waited for Roman to answer.

   "I take it the Nissan's yours?" I said as he opened the door. He looked behind me and shook his head.

   "The Nissan's my mom's. My dad drives the Ford for work." he explained.

   "So you use your parent's cars to drive to school?" I raised an eyebrow. My parents would never let me do that. I would never let myself do that.

   "No, I have my own but it's the in the garage." I noticed a garage to the side of the house I didn't acknowledge before.

   "Oh, what make?" I then asked.

   "Why do you care?" he started to become agitated. Did he not like cars? He sighed, "It's one my grandpa passed down to me, a basic Audi, but it's super old. I'm quite surprised the thing's still running to be honest but hey. My parents wanted me to work my way up to a nicer car."

   "Okay." I hummed and walked inside. No sign of his sister yet, thank god.

  Roman closed the door behind me and slowly walked in. "You like cars then?" he sounded sceptical.

   "My uncle," I began and swallowed. Why was this house so warm? "He owns a lot of them. He usually drives a new one every day." I explained. I placed my bag on the sofa and looked around. I still couldn't believe Roman lived in a house liked this. It was so nice and... friendly.

   "Is your sister home?" I asked pretending not to give too much thought to it.

   "My sister?" he seemed surprised. He must have forgotten he told me that piece of information. I nodded and he replied, "No, she went to the movies with some friends, she won't be back till much later."

  I hummed once more and walked into the kitchen. "So do your parents visit your grandma often?" I curiously wondered.

   "My grandma?" Roman wasn't used to sharing pieces of information of his life so often with people, so I could understand why he sounded surprised when I brought it up. That and he probably didn't expect me to remember.

   "Yeah, you said they visit her for lunch every Sunday." I recalled.

  Roman shoved his hands in his pockets and said, "Yeah, she's sick and so they try to spend as much time with her as possible. I usually see her Wednesday after school and whenever I can on the weekends."

  He walked to the fridge to take out a bottle of water.

   "You're close with your grandma then?" I sat down at the table.

   "Really close." He unscrewed the lid and took a large sip. I noticed the way his throat bobbed as he did so. "Are you close with yours." I blinked and looked down at the table. Why was I so interested in his throat? Get a grip, Sienna.

   "I don't really have any grandparents. My dad was an orphan and my mom's parents live out of the country. In some villa somewhere." I brushed my hands down my jeans. Why was this house so warm?

   "Cool." Was all he said before he sat down opposite me. He pushed something towards me on the table and nodded for me to look.

  I looked down to read the title of a textbook and my blood boiled. "You're giving me a 6th Grader's Chemistry book?!" did he really think I was that dumb?

   "I think it could help."

   "Yeah, a 6th Grader!" was this some joke? Was all he wanted to do was humiliated me.

   "Would you calm down? I talked to Mrs Sanders and she gave me some of your past test papers to look through –"

   "That's a violation of my privacy."

   "I'm trying to help. Look, I looked through it last night and you don't seem to have a problem with evaluating and explaining, what you have a problem with is the basics. You mix up protons and neutrons, the scale of the pH, basic chemical equations. So..." he gestured to the textbook. I sighed and flipped it open.

  Skye Lawrence. Was the name written on the top of the inner page with a heart at the end.

   "It also belonged to my sister, but she doesn't mind you using it." Wow, I wasn't even getting a new textbook. "Would you stop looking so annoyed? I'm trying to help you here."

   "Don't you think it's a bit embarrassing?" I slammed the book and snapped. "That you're giving me a 6th Grader's textbook. Do you really think I'm that dumb?"

   "I never said you were dumb, I just explained to you the reason I'm giving you the textbook. So what? It's just a textbook." He replied. I looked at him for a small second. He wouldn't understand. He'd never understand what it felt like to admit to yourself you're not smart, and you'll never be smart, and that you are always going to be behind in everything. I liked to be superior. I liked to be on top and looking at that 6th Grader's textbook made me feel so small and useless. I hated it.

   "I don't want it." I muttered.

   "Sienna, stop being so stupid. It's just a textbook." Sienna, stop being so stupid. Did he not hear the irony in his words? Why did I feel a close in my throat as he said that? Why did I have to look away? Maybe I was overreacting. People have always told me I was too dramatic about things. But it hurt so much to hear those words, to look at that textbook. I just wanted it to stop.

   "Can we do something else please?" I said quietly, looking at the pale blue and white tiled wall.

   "It really isn't that –"

   "Please." I said louder. Fuck, did my voice just crack? Urgh, fuck me. I held my breath and waited for him to respond.

   "This... This was what I planned on doing today." He said back calmly. He heard my voice crack. Great, Roman Lawrence knew he almost made me cry. Whoop-di-fucking-do.

  I let out a long breath and swallowed. "That's fine. I'll just... go." I got up and made my way into the living room. His footsteps chased behind.

   "Wait!" he called out as soon as I grabbed my bag.

   "What?" I turned around to meet his nervous expression. He was fiddling with the ends of his sweater. A blush was creeping up his neck and across his cheeks.

   "Erm, what about... you know... your part of the, um, deal?" shit, I forgot all about that. I looked at the uncomfortableness of him standing there, it was somehow amusing. Maybe I needed a good makeout session to blow off some steam. Maybe.

  I placed my bag back down gently and looked back at him. "Okay." I said slowly. "Come sit." Roman made his way over to the couch and sat down.

   "What... W-What are we going to do?" he was so nervous but there was a slight hint of anticipation in his tone that made me excited. "I mean, a-are we just sticking with what we did last time o-or?"

   "Tongue." I said bluntly. "I'm going to teach you how to really kiss a girl." I explained.

   "I thought we did that –"

   "No, that was middle school kissing. This is real kissing. A makeout even."

  He shifted in his seat. "Oh... okay."

  I smiled and reached for my phone to put some music on the speaker. What was a good makeout track? I'd never really put much thought into music during sexy time, most guys either kept it silent or put on some rap or R&B music which I wouldn't mind if it was the good kind, but sometimes it wasn't. Yes, I'm talking about one guy putting on 'Lose Yourself' but Eminem as if I was some boxing opponent for him to conquer. Let's just say the 'fight' ran short.

  Cherry by Lana Del Rey. Not my first pick, but it would work fine enough.

   "Another Lana Del Rey song?" Roman raised a brow.

   "So? I like her music." I shrugged. I moved to sit back down beside him, brining up my legs to curl around me. "D'you remember what we went through last time?" he nodded. "Good. We're going to do that again but d'you mind if I take the lead?"

   "I thought you were already taking the lead?"

   "Well, yeah but... you'll see what I mean, but if you feel uncomfortable, let me know." He nodded. Good.

I held my breath and scooted myself closer to him. Makeout. I could do that. I could makeout with Roman Lawrence. "I'm going to kiss you." I whispered and I watched his Adam's apple bob.

  As soon as my lips touched his, I tasted a fresh mint lingering in his breath which made me suspect he knew we were kissing today. He had come prepared.

  Roman kissed me back gently, nervously, one of his hands awkwardly hovering over my shoulder and the other gripping the couch. I pulled away.

  He let out an embarrassed chuckle, "I don't know what to do with my hands." He admitted.

   "That's okay." I said softly and took one his hands and placed it on my back, spreading out his fingers like he unintentionally did last time. Damn, his hands were big. I took a hold of his other hand and raised it to cup my cheek. His hands were also warm. I didn't know why I expected them to be gross and sweaty, but they were soft and steady. It was almost... comforting. Almost.

   "Are... A-Are you okay with me touching you?" he muttered anxiously.

   "Do you not like touching me?" I raised an eyebrow.

   "I-I –"

   "Relax." I assured. "Trust me, this is a PG position in making out. Do you feel uncomfortable?"

   "N-No." he shook his head. "I want to... to know."

  I nodded and inched closer. "I'm going to kiss you again and I need you to listen to my instructions. Trust me?"

  He nodded and swallowed hard.

  Once again, I placed my lips on his.

___________________________________

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