I didn't know what to expect when I kissed Roman with tongue. I didn't know whether he was going to washing machine me or get all slobbery like Clifford the Big Red Dog. I was surprised when his tongue felt... nice? I don't know, but whatever it was, was no washing machine or dog, not even a sharknado of teeth. It was soft and.... Caressing almost. It had been a while since I simple kissed someone like that which made it all.... soothing? I couldn't find the words for it. But surprising was definitely one that sprung to mind.

   "Are you even listening?" Rya interrupted my thoughts and flicked my arm with her pencil.

   "Ouch!" I hissed and rubbed the area that was now red. This girl has violence issues.

  Rya pulled at her golden locks and huffed. "Christopher is ahead of me in two classes! I need to up my game. Go through the flashcards again." We were sitting on the side-lines at cheer practice in the school's Gym. The other girls were practicing pyramids and only needed five people. The rest got to chill for a bit. However, 'chill' in Rya's mind meant 'study'.

  I sighed and went through the cards again.

   "42."

   "7."

   "156."

   "89."

   "10.25 –"

   "Would you slow down? My hands are getting cramps." I shook my already aching left hand. "You're starting to resemble Speedy Gonzalez."

  Rya rolled her eyes, "I am not! And Christopher is beating me in Algebra by 4 marks! I need to beat him! Please, Sienna!" she tried to snatch the cards out of my hands.

   "Would you calm the fuck down, Godzilla? You're doing great already." Rya was something called an 'overachiever'. You run five miles, she'll run eight. You read two books, she'll read ten. You eat a slice of pizza, she'll eat it all – including the box.

  She was the best of the best throughout elementary school. Then when Christopher Knowles moved to town at the start of middle school, things kicked off. Suddenly, Rya wasn't number one. Christopher wasn't that nice about it in all fairness. He was a smart kid and made sure to shove it in Rya's face every time he beat her. You can imagine the five long paragraphs I'd get sent, ranting about him and his stupid Finding Nemo themed pencil case after those incidents happened.

  When High School arrived, they became obsessed with beating one another, and so now, in Senior Year, when Valedictorian is up for grabs, they are both ruthless.

   "But Christopher is doing better! That's the problem."

  I gave in and went through the flashcards again. Rya answered them all effortlessly and I found myself wondering how someone could be so put-together? Rya was gorgeous, funny, and smart. Those three things were so hard to put together, yet she was all of them. Sure, she was extremely stressed-out half of the time, but I wondered how one person could do it all.

  Sometimes I wished she wasn't so good at everything, that she would fail something to make me feel better, but I knew that was selfish and I would never sabotage her like that anyways. Sometimes God put perfect people on the world and you just had to live with it.

  It didn't help that throughout the whole of practice, the basketball team was practicing. Adam was co-captain with his friend called Taylor. Taylor was a nice guy, sometimes too cocky for my liking, but still nice. His auburn hair and tan skin made him look like some prince-charming, and I knew he had a thing for Rya. He didn't make it obvious that he did, but one time at a party last year when Adam and I were together, Taylor got shit-faced drunk and kept talking about how Rya's hair 'shimmered like the sun' and how her eyes resembled 'the richest of sapphires'. I connected the dots and knew what was what. I never asked her if she knew about it though.

   "Has it messaged you yet?" Rya asked, signalling to the handsome devil himself.

  Adam hasn't made any moves to talk to me since that last time at his locker where he left me hanging. Although, one thing I was sure of was his relationship with Leah. She was always around him. They weren't as obvious as they used to be, but I caught the sly glances and brush of the hands. I knew what was up and I hated it.

  I was the hottest girl in school, the one that all the guys wanted to be with and yet the only guy that wasn't interested at the moment was the only guy I wanted. Typical, isn't it?

   "No. Maybe I should make a move?" maybe Adam's forgotten how much of an effect I have on him? Maybe he needed reminding.

   "I don't know..." Rya cautioned but I'd already made up my mind. I got up off the floor and flattened out my cheer skirt. Adam was over by the benches drinking some water, his shirt was off and glazed with sweat. And what a gorgeous chest it was.

  Focus, Sienna.

   "Hey, Adam. Long time, no see." I smiled as soon as I approached him. He finished the water and I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed. Damn that's funny, Adam's Adam's apple. It's not that funny. Would you give me a break?

   "Sienna." He nodded. "I guess it's been a while." He guesses? My dreams have been filled with him!

  That's so cheesy.

  Give me a break.

   "How are you?" he then asked.

  I took in a deep breath and gave a flirtatious smile. "Oh, you know, missing you." Was I laying it on too thick? I was probably laying it on too thick.

  I didn't care if I was laying it on too thick, I wanted him!

   "Sienna." Adam sighed. Did he not miss me back?

   "Do you not miss me back?"

    "I..." he looked me up and down and I swore I could hear his heartbeat increase. He missed me; I knew he missed me. He needed me just as much as I needed him.

   "Baby, I miss you so much." I caved. I wasn't going to beg. Sienna Callum wasn't a begger. I was someone who got the begging. I walked closer to him and touched his arm, not forcefully, but lightly, and I felt his breath hitch.

   "Do you know what I do at night when you're not there?" I whispered into his ear, so my lips touched the shell.

  His breath hitched again.

   "I touch myself because I'm so lonely. Only to the thought of you though. It's only been you." I bet he was hard. I wanted to check, but I wasn't that creepy.

   "Do you?" Adam's voice remained monotoned, but I sensed the excitement behind the dryness.

   "Yes." I nodded. "But I can't get myself off." I confessed. "Only you can." His breath hitched again, and his Adam's apple bobbed.

   "Only me?" he looked me dead in the eyes.

   "My parents aren't home tonight." Was all I said. "How d'you say we –" the Gym doors opened, and Adam's focus snapped off me and to the figure that just walked in.

   "See you." He gruffly responded and pushed me off. Um, hang on?

  I stumbled back, causing a few sniggers from the basketball team. I glared back at Taylor who scored a slam-dunk and landed by my side.

   "Looks like your boy's got a new toy." He smiled smugly as I watched as Adam went over to Leah. Her stupid purple sweater and acid washed mom jeans were so basic, and her golden-brown hair was a rat's nest of those stupid, typical beach waves. She was so.... plain.

  Why her? What was it about her that made him so interested? There had to be something off, either on his end or hers. I couldn't stand the sight of it.

  That was supposed to be me. I was the one that Adam went to. I was the one that made him laugh like that.

  Guess you've been replaced.

  No. Sienna Callum was irreplaceable.

   "And Adam rejected you for her." Taylor commented, reading my thoughts. "Maybe you're not as hot as you thought you were."

   "Shut up, Taylor!" I snapped and grabbed the ball from him, lobing it across the gym to hit a player on the back of the head. He glared back at me in animosity.

   "Aren't you supposed to be a sports player? Head's up, conehead!" I glared back at him. His head was rather pointy and so I found the name fitting.

  I stormed back to Rya and slumped down on the floor.

   "I take it that didn't go so well?" she said with a cringe.

   "I am going to ruin Leah Kingston. No one steals my man and gets away innocent." I was going to watch her vanilla turn sour.

❦❤︎❦

  It was Thursday and I needed to blow off some steam.

   "Come onnnn!" I groaned to myself. "Just do it!" I moved my fingers faster. I needed it. I needed this so bad. "Please... please, God, let me." I stared up at my bedroom ceiling.

  A knock at the door jolted me up. "Sienna?" my mom spoke. "Is everything okay in there?"

  For fuck's sake!

   "Yeah. Everything's fine, mom!" I replied. At least she had the etiquette to knock.

   "Okay. Your dad and I are leaving now, we won't back be till late."

   "Okay." I huffed and climbed out of my bed. "Tell everyone I said hi."

   "I will." And with that, she left.

  I wandered over to the mirror against my wall and stared at myself. I was only wearing a hoodie and underwear, my tanned skin looked darker against the creaminess of the hoodie.

   "Why can't you just do it?" I sighed to myself. My hair was a mess, and my cheeks were flushed red. It was so stupid. Here I was, supposed to be tutoring Roman about sex and I couldn't even masturbate. What a joke I was.

  Shit, Roman.

  I looked at the clock on my bedside and realised I had less than half an hour to get round there and his house was over twenty minutes away.

   "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I cursed harshly under my breath as I searched for some pants to put on. Where were my fucking pants?!

  Tripping over myself whilst putting on my pants on the way to the bathroom, I realised I needed to think about what the hell I was going to teach Roman. We've done kissing, and a makeout, so what now?

  Sex?

  No, that was too soon.

  Fingering?

  Did I really want Roman's figures inside of me?

  Bitch, you can't even get off on your own fingers.

  Shut up.

  I'd figure something out.

❦❤︎❦

  I wasn't that late when I got to Roman's and he didn't mention the fact I wasn't spot on time. Instead, he let me in, and we got to work. It was Statistics again and we went through the basics. Once again, he gave me another test sheet and I got a five. I still wasn't happy at the five, but it was better than a two at least.

   "Do you attend Statistics class?" Roman asked. I looked up from the test paper he handed back and shrugged. It was an obvious 'no' and Roman only shook his head and sighed. "Sienna, you'll improve so much better if you go. One tutoring session a week isn't enough to completely boost your grades."

   "Yeah, but you're supposed to be the best tutor so..."

   "Have you watched any of the documentary from the History site I mentioned." Um, nope. He could already see the answer in my expression. "I'm not Superman, I need you to meet me halfway here otherwise you won't improve at the rate you want to."

  I knew he was right but putting effort into school besides tutoring was frustrating. It wasn't like I didn't want to try, I just couldn't. My mind and motivation were drained drop by drop during the lessons. None of it was interesting and it wasn't like the teachers tried to help me. Half of them had given up on me midway through Junior Year.

   "Have you ever dry-humped before?" I suddenly said without thinking. What. The. Fuck.

  I wanted to change the topic, but why did I have to change it to that? Sienna, you idiot.

   "What?" Roman furrowed his brows. Why did I say that? Roman had never kissed a girl so of course he wouldn't have done that.

   "Never mind." I brushed it off and stared back at the test paper. I was improving. You know, if Roman put a smiley face by the number I might get a little more motivation, but he didn't strike me as the smiley face kinda guy.

  I noticed him looking at me with anxious scepticism. "What... what is it?" Jesus, take the wheel.

  Despite the awkward air between us, I decided to pull myself together and sit up straight. Dry-humping with Roman. That couldn't be.... too bad. We've already made out and it was... decent.

  My tongue slipped into his mouth and tasted the wave of prepared spearmint and lingering hints of apple juice and graham crackers. He took in a sharp breath as I brushed my tongue against his before an instinct kicked in and he kissed back.

  Our lips fought slowly before turning into a battle. Almost a fierce desperation of needing more, fighting to get closer but knowing to not go too far. He was better at kissing than I thought. His tongue caressed mine gently but lustfully, his hand pressing into my back, his thumb brushing my temple in a tender way.

   "Sienna?" Roman called me back out of my thoughts.

   "Hm?" god, I haven't had sex in so long that I was fantasising about Roman's kiss. I needed to get laid.

   "W-What is it?"

  I looked at the clock. We were only an hour in, and I knew I needed more help but the look on Roman's face was one to get me excited. It was so innocent yet completely curious to what I had just said.

   "I can show you if you what."

  Roman gulped and took a few seconds, dithering on whether to agree or not. I knew he knew it was too early in the session to move on to my part, but the burning desire to know more flickered intensely in his eyes.

  He nodded.

  I told him to walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. He listened and did so nervously. His eyes followed my every move as I walked over to the speaker.

   "Shit." I mumbled as I stared at my phone. "I've got two percent."

   "I can put something on." Roman offered and took his phone, flicking through to music and handed it to me. I connected it to the speaker and listened to the tune spilling out of it.

   "You like The Neighbourhood?" I was surprised, I suspected Roman to be into some classical stuff or weird Science parodies of songs. Guess I was wrong.

   "Yeah, I think they're cool. You like them too?"

  I shook my head, "I've never really listened to them, but I know Rya says they have the best sex songs." I chuckled at the memory of her explaining to me exactly why they were. Something about the beat and vibes they gave off.

  I walked back to Roman and noticed him gulp.

   "Is it okay if I... get on you?" I didn't know how to phrase it but, nevertheless, he nodded. I straddled his thighs and found my legs having to stretch to mount them. He was so tall I wondered whether we should've moved to a more spacious place.

   "Okay." I managed to balance myself. "Kiss me."

  Roman was taken aback and blinked dumbfoundedly a few times before answering, "I thought you –"

   "Are you or are you not trying to knock Emily's socks off with your sexy skills?" I raised a brow. He didn't respond because he knew I was right. "Roman, if you can't even make the first move to kiss a girl, how are you expecting to go further with anything, let alone be godly at it?"

  He knew I was right again and sighed, nodding his head, straightening up, and lifted a shaking hand. He was too nervous.

  "Look in my eyes." I turned his head so his eyeline met mine. "If you're going to kiss a girl, you look in her eyes." His eyes were a swirling mixture of blue and grey that somehow managed to intrigue me to investigate the small silver flecks dancing around his pupil.

   "Look at my lips." I quietly commanded. He followed. His throat bobbed as his eyes focused on my bare lips. "Ask to kiss me."

   "Hm?" he was still mindlessly focusing on my lips.

   "Consent is sexy. Ask."

   "Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

   "Yes –" within milliseconds, his lips capture mine in a quick yet gentle kiss. They moved together in sync, and when our mouths parted, his tongue slipped in and caressed mine. His hands were rough as they cupped my face but softly held me as his lips worked faster, almost hungrily.

  He had the hang of this now.

  Carefully, I propped myself up on my knees and lifted my torso, shuffling around so when I sat back down, my crotch directly met with his.

  Roman gasped and pulled away to look at where we were now pressed up against one another.

   "Is this okay?" I asked to make sure he felt comfortable.

  He gulped and let out a shaky breath. "Yes." He finally answered.

  Gently, I let my arms fall to either of his shoulders and made my hips roll. It was small but enough for him to feel the movement. He inhaled sharply.

   "What... w-what are you doing?" he couldn't quite grab the concept, but I knew he was new to all of this and so the small fragments of pleasure circling his body as I moved my hips must have been something he's never felt before.

   "Move your hips against mine." I told him. "Follow my movements." I did it a few more times, trailing my lips up the side of his neck to relax him. Roman was someone he thought way too much, sometimes he needed distractions in order to not worry and let go for a change. To allow his body to do its natural reactions.

  His hands wobbly trailed up my back and pressed firmly down at the small when his hips bucked up and pressed his crotch harder to mine.

  "Like this?" he nervously questioned, now moving his hips in sync with mine to cause a sweet rhythm of friction.

  I swallowed and nodded, "Yeah." My voice was becoming breathless as he kept with the pace and pressed his hands even harder on the small of my back to create more amazing friction. "Like that." I supressed a moan clawing at my throat.

  My body was already worked up from my previous masturbation failure and so this was exactly what I needed. My lips worked from Roman's neck to his lips and kissed him, but this time it wasn't soft, it was messy and desperate and filled with breathiness as we pulled apart to kiss again.

  A groan escaped his lips as he kissed me harder and I moved my hips faster. I was wearing yoga pants and so the coarse fabric of his jeans worked perfectly through the thin material and the.... Holy fucking shit, was Roman Lawrence packing?

  I felt the huge swell of him against me and I almost had to stop from a shock wave of pleasure that pulsated through me when he jerked his hips to press against me harder.

  Oh god, I was getting soaked. Roman freaking Lawrence was soaking my panties.

   "Fuck." I cursed under my breath and begged he didn't hear.

  We moved faster, harder. More friction. More, more, more. That sweet spot between my legs was throbbing which each roll of his hips and every low groan slipping from his lips.

  Our bodies were melting into one another, becoming one with the movements, pushing each other closer to the edge.

   "Holy shit." Roman suddenly let out a guttural grunt, his face suddenly too serious. "Fuck." He cried and abruptly pushed me off of him.

   "What the hell?" my butt hit the soft carpet of the rug.

  That was when I saw the wetness leaking from his jeans.

  Oh.

  He was up off the couch in an instant and went running to the kitchen. "Shit, shit, shit." He cursed worriedly under his breath in a panic.

  I pulled myself up and cautiously walked to where he was. "Roman, are you okay?"

   "I-I..." he