Parties used to be my thing. For hours I would spend my time in Rya's bedroom picking the hottest outfit, doing my hair and makeup to perfection, singing to the latest number one of the week. As much as I missed that and wanted to do it all over again, I was a girl on a mission.

Don't get me wrong, I still looked hot. A pair of blue jeans and a black crop top that functioned more as a bralette if I was being honest, matched with a pair of glossy black stilettos. I was more casual than I usually was when I went to these things, but did I still look smoking? Yes. I did.

I left my hair as it naturally was since I decided to take more care of my curls and let the cute ringlets trailed down my back.

I wasn't going to take my car tonight because I knew the parking would be terrible, instead I decided on getting the bus. The party was at Steven Melrose's house, someone who had parties on the regular, and I knew there was a bus stop two blocks away if I needed to get away early. However, in my mind, I was hoping that when Roman and I talked and figured things out, I wouldn't need to take that bus home.

You see, your girl had a plan. Now, I know what you're thinking. Sienna, your plans got you into this mess in the first place. Yes, I'm not going to deny it, I know they did, but this plan, I would like to say, has been thought out and matured.

Step one: arrive at the party looking like a careless, hot bitch. Step two: grab some alcohol for the nerve. Step three: find Roman and civilly ask him to talk and explain everything.

I'm a genius. Am I right or am I right?

Summer wasn't in full swing yet, so the cool breeze of the night nipped at my shoulders as I walked down the street to the party. You couldn't miss it, a huge house with dozens of beaming, colourful lights and the most basic house music pumping out at top volume.

There were already people passed out in the lawn and couples making out on deck chairs. That used to be Adam and I. I didn't really care how it looked on the outside at the time, but now looking at it, I cringed.

I made my way inside, not really bothering in saying hello to anyone and let the fumes of beer and marijuana consume me.

The house was packed, all the way from the front door to the living room to the kitchen, I didn't even want to see the state of the backyard, but I was sure it was the same.

Parties like this used to be my life. Almost every other day I would wind up at someone's house and party till my heart's content. Now my perspective had changed. I hadn't been to a party since Roman and even though I loved them, the habit I had with them wasn't healthy.

Parties were Adam's thing, and because I was Adam's girlfriend, they became my thing too. I never really had time to figure out what truly was my thing with him but since Roman, I've found myself more than I ever anticipated. Don't get me b wrong, I still loved a good party, but I wanted to do it the right way. That made all the difference.

Manoeuvring my way through the crowds, I found myself in the kitchen with multiple drinks on display. I didn't want to get drunk, but I definitely wanted to take my nerves away. I was already a nervous wreck and surprised I hadn't passed out yet due to my overwhelming anxiousness.

I spotted a bottle of Malibu on the side and decided to poor it into a glass.

Just as a finished doing that, a couple burst in and started making out by the fridge. Great. Just my luck.

Finding a random carton of juice and recognising the word 'pineapple' on it, I poured that into the glass and wandered out of the room leaving the random couple to their business.

So far, no one had said anything to me and so I assumed everyone was too drunk to even recognise me. Or everything was now water under the bridge, but I didn't want to give myself false hope and be too optimistic.

I stayed to myself and walked inside the living room where the main party was in full swing. Beer pong competitions, drinking games by the coffee table, and groups of people dancing and grinding on each other by the TV. I held my breath and stood next to the couch where a group of people were passing around a joint. I was offered once and politely denied, focussing on finding Roman.

What if he wasn't here? What if he decided to ditch last minute? Then why would he have told Jesse about it? And I remembered what he said about Nikki dragging him everywhere. I had no doubt she was here. Urgh.

Just as I was about to turn and ask one of the stoners if they'd seen him, a voice abruptly caught my attention.

"Ooo! I love this song!" I knew that voice. I knew that drunk voice even more.

I turned to look in the dinning room and there she was. Rya. Wearing a tight, black dress and dancing on the table. Oh god.

"Steven! Turn it up!" she jumped up and down happily and continued dancing with a glass of wine in her hand in the air. Oh god.

I face palmed myself and peaked between the gaps in my fingers as I watched her. I would like to say Rya wasn't like this when drunk but no. Drunk Rya was like a child on crack.

"Enjoying the show?" a voice next to me mused. I turned to my right to see Christopher leaning up against the wall with a red solo cup in his hand. He wore a loose white button-down with the first few buttons undone, revealing his chest, and a basic pair of jeans.

"What are you? Some perv?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Believe it or not, I'm making sure she doesn't fall off the damn table." He stated with a shrug.

"And why do you care if she falls off a table or not? Wouldn't it be, like, your dream?"

"Because, if she dies, what competition do I have left?" he smirked and took a long sip of his drink.

I rolled my eyes once more and crossed my arms. In a way, I wanted to drag Rya off that table and try and make up with her. However, I knew talking to her in this state would be the equivalent to talking to a five-year-old with a sugar rush. Plus, no creepy stoners or pervy jocks were around her so she was safe from that.

"Haven't you already won this little competition, anyways? I mean, Rya's no longer up for Valedictorian. No thanks to you, as well." I didn't let the bitterness slip my tone.

"I didn't tell Principal Cunningham about the Spanish pop quiz." He casually denied and took another sip of his drink. "And, if we're pointing fingers, even if I did, you were the one who told me about it."

"Because I wasn't thinking, I was too busy that night." I hastily excused even though I knew I fucked up with my blabber mouth.

"With Roman." He smiled to himself and took another sip. I stilled.

"How did you –"

"The video." He answered before I could finish. Right. I knew that stupid video was going to follow me for the rest of my life. "And the fact that I'm an English student. Analysing characters' behaviours in literature does work quite nicely when relating it to real life."

"Fuck off." I muttered and took a long sip of my drink, feeling the buzz of alcohol swirl and warm my stomach.

Christopher chuckled and looked beyond me, focussing on Rya who was dancing on the table. His eyes studied every swing of her hips, trailing up and down her smooth, long legs. I witnessed his throat bobbed and I furrowed my brows.

"Are you here for him tonight?" he quickly changed the subject. "Roman." He clarified when I didn't answer.

"I'm trying to talk to him, you know, explain everything." If he let me. I wondered that the minute I attempted to pull him aside, he would reject and humiliate me in front of everyone. Plus, I didn't want to cause a scene, so I was hoping everything would be okay and not go down that route.

"You better have one hell of an explanation." Christopher stated.

"I do." I assured. "I'm just hoping he'll actually listen to me."

He nodded and looked down at the floor. "Did you drive here tonight?"

"No. You?"

"Yeah, I've got to be somewhere tomorrow so I can't afford to have a hangover."

"Nice thinking." I chuckled. I couldn't count the number of times I showed up hungover to things when I shouldn't have. School included. School most of the time actually. "Can I ask you something?" he nodded to show a response, "If you were in my position, how would you fix it?"

He took a few seconds to think and ran a hand through his hair. "Write him a letter."

"What?" I blinked a few times to make sure I heard him right.

"Oh, c'mon! Letters are like the optime of romance. You want to star in your own novel? You do that."

I laughed a little and rolled my eyes, "Aren't you just a romantic?"

He chuckled and shrugged as a reply.

"Have you seen him anywhere?" I couldn't help but ask. Please tell me that he's here.

"The only time I saw him was when he walked in." hallelujah! He's here. "Hey, Ben." He called over one of his friends. The guy called 'Ben' looked our way. "You see Roman Lawrence around?"

"Yeah." Ben nodded. "I think he went upstairs to the bathroom or something." Upstairs. Got it.

"Thank you." I sent a grateful smile Ben's way and then to Christopher. "Really." Before I went speeding up the stairs.

I knew this house pretty well considering Steven's parties happened almost every weekend, however the crowds of people surely didn't help, especially when there were horny couples literally having sex against the walls everywhere I dared to look. God, why couldn't people just get a room?

Finding a girl engrossed in a conversation with her friend, I asked if she had seen Roman and that was when she pointed to a door down the hall. I thanked her briefly and squeezed past numerous of people until I found myself there.

Maybe I should knock? Knock? What are we in Downton Abbey? But I felt rude to just barge in. Really, Sienna? Now you have a confidence default? True, I just needed to get myself together.

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my hand around the door handle and swung open the door.

In that moment, I regretted every decision I had ever made.

A nauseous feeling spread through me like wildfire as I looked at the seen in front of me.

There was Roman. Making out with Nikki.

He was standing back against the window ledge with Nikki standing between his legs, and it was the vilest, most utterly grotesque image I had ever laid my eyes on.

His eyes suddenly caught mine and they widen, and he immediately pushed Nikki off him.

"Sienna?" he gasped, and Nikki turned around, a sick smile on her face.

"Oh, hi, Sienna. Didn't realise you liked to be a perv in your free time." She sweetly remarked. So sweet it made me sick.

It felt like everything was in slow motion as backed out of the room and Roman rushed towards me. Time had completely stopped, and I felt useless, wading through the thick waves of disgust, sinking into pure heartbreak as it swallowed me up like quicksand.

"Sienna!" Roman called after me as I turned to the hall. Just as I made it out, he grabbed my hand to stop me. "Sienna, please listen –"

"Why?" I choked out.

"Sienna –"

"Why?" I demanded to know, hurt ringing through my voice. "Why this? Why her? After what happened Saturday night and... and you choose her?" he went straight back to Nikki after we had freaking sex?!

"Sienna, I'm so sorry you had to see that –" He held my hand tight.

"You're sorry I had to see it? Not you're sorry it even happened in the first place? What the fuck, Roman?!" I harshly pulled my hand out of his grip. "You fuck me wild one night and then stick your tongue down a different girl's throat on another?!"

He didn't say anything. He knew I was right. He knew it as wrong, but he obviously didn't care.

"I guess this is some sick revenge, isn't it? You were going to fuck her and then brag about it to everyone, making me feel like shit, huh?"

"No! That isn't even close!" he protested.

"So, what if he did? After how you humiliated him, he deserves a fun fuck. Probably a better fuck than what you could ever give him."

"So, you weren't just kissing her? You were going to fuck her." I shouldn't be upset. It shouldn't hurt. Yet, God, it did. He was going to fuck another girl mere days after he fucked me and told me it was all going to be okay. Now I just felt used.

"No! I wasn't going to fuck her!" Roman desperately looked in my eyes and tried to convince me.

"Hmm, that's not what you said five minutes ago." Nikki playfully mused behind him. The first five buttons on her dress were undone. Did he do that? Was he undressing her?

"Sienna, I... I... I'm sorry..." there was nothing he could say to save himself and he knew it. Now, I was just willing standing in front of daggers plunging mercilessly into my heart.

"She's the reason we're in this fucking mess!" I finally burst. "She threatened both of our scholarships with some stupid fucking rumour, and I said what I stupidly said to protect you! Haven't you noticed how she only cares about you now that you're super popular and away from me?! So, go ahead, have a fun fuck, just know that not for one fucking second did I ever stop caring about you!" I pushed him away and turned on my heel and rushed down the hall, leaving Roman and Nikki behind me.

I was only torturing myself by staying. By knowing what would have been if I hadn't of opened that door. By looking into his eyes and knowing I had completely lost him.

"Sienna! Wait!" he called after me. I didn't want to wait. Everyone was already looking at me, tears in my eyes, as I frantically ran down the stairs. I thought the night of the charity ball meant something, I thought it was all going to be okay. I was a huge idiot riding on false hope to believe that.

I could hear Roman chasing after me, calling me now in a desperate panic. I took a risk and looked behind me, seeing him get close. Luckily, a group of jocks came up to him and blocked him as they tried to start a drunk conversation.

I suddenly realised that I didn't have a car. I had to wait for the freaking bus and Roman would surely get to me there. I couldn't walk it either, his legs were much longer than mine, he'd catch up to me.

Then a figure caught me eye.

I grabbed onto Christopher's shoulder and breathlessly said, "Take me home." He looked at me for a moment, puzzlement clouding his eyes. "Now." I perilously demanded. It only took him a few moments to gaze over me shoulder and see Roman trying to push his way through the crowd to get to me before he looked straight into my pleading eyes. "Please." I begged, tears beginning to glaze my vision.

"Okay." He nodded briefly and placed a firm hand on my back to guide me out of the house.

Roman was calling my name behind us as we rushed to the front of the house.

"Sienna!" this call was a higher pitched voice however and I couldn't stop myself from turning around. "There you are!" Rya squealed and bubbly stumbled over to me. "I..." she cut herself off with a hiccup. "...I have something to tell you!" she sang bobbing her head along to her only melody.

"Rya, I love you, but please not now." I pleaded.

"But it's important!" she huffed like a child and pouted before stumbling forward and I had to catch her in my arms.

"Can you not tell me tomorrow?" the only way to deal with drunk Rya was to act as if you were speaking to a five-year-old.

"Nooo!" she protested with a slur. "I want... I want to tell you... tell you... you now!"

"Jesus Christ, how drunk is she?" Christopher muttered beside me.

I pulled Rya off me and held her face in my hand, squishing her cheeks a little so I could look into her eyes that screamed intoxication. "Very." I replied simply and let her go.

"Ooo! I was like a fish!" she giggled and squished her own cheeks, puckering her lips and moving them to do a fishy face. "I'm a funny little fishy!" she giggled to herself and then stumble into Christopher. "Oops!" she giggled again.

"What d'you want to do with her?" he turned to ask me, holding Rya firmly so she didn't fall over. I couldn't leave her. There was no way. God knows what would happen to her if I did.

"Do I know you?" she gazed up at Christopher with shining eyes. "Because you're reeeally hot! D'you wanna fuck me sometime? Pretty pleeeease!" Oh. My. God.

Christopher bit back a laugh and looked over at me.

"You know I can't leave her." I said, cringing a little.

He sighed and nodded, "I know. Here." He dug his hand into his jean pocket and pulled out a set of car keys. "Go to my car, it's the Ford Mustang, the old kind, the black one." He rambled and shoved the key in my hand.

I nodded in understanding and shot off like a rocket , chasing my way through the crowds till I got outside. I found his car parked on the sidewalk opposite and unlocked it, hopping into the passenger's seat.

I waited until I saw him walking out with a drunk as hell Rya over his shoulder. God, she would die if she saw this image. I reached back and opened the car door for them, and he carefully lied her down on the backseats.

Rya giggled and squirmed in the backseat. "It was like I was flying! I was suuuperwoman!"

I rolled my eyes and face palmed myself as Christopher hopped into the driver's seat. Just as he did, I heard my name being called and saw Roman run frantically out of the front door. Shit.

"Drive." I commanded and Christopher put his key in the ignition, and we shot off.

I rested my head against the window, feeling the hums of the car engine vibrate against my head, listening to the wheels rolling on the road outside. If there was anything I wanted to do now, it was fall asleep and forget all about tonight.

I couldn't help but feel betrayed. He went to Nikki?! Nikki of all people! Even after we had sex, he went straight to another girl. I felt completely used by him and it made me sick, but also sad.

He wouldn't be this way if I'd have just talked to him about the whole Nikki situation in the first place. If I wasn't so fucking insecure –

"Don't do that." Christopher called me out of my thoughts.

"Do what?" I lifted my head a little, so the side of it now rested on my palm.

"Go down that route of self-blame. You'll make yourself ill."

I was already feeling the need to throw up from that image of Roman and Nikki alone on constant, unwanted replay in my head.

"What if... What if I'm always going to be the problem?" I said out of the blue.

"And what makes you think like that?" he quickly turned his head to me, furrowing his brows before he focused his eyes back on the road.

"I'm really bad at communicating." I admitted.

I witnessed him smile softly because replying, "We're all bad at something when it comes to relationships."

"Yeah, but communication is like the main factor. How can I even have a relationship if I'm not even good at that?" Maybe Roman and I weren't meant to be. Maybe it was right person wrong time? I didn't want it to be right person wrong time,