After Philosophy on Tuesday morning, Lawson went straight to the library. If he was being honest, it wasn't a place he found himself often, but when he needed extra motivation to study, it was best to get out of his dorm room, where he could be easily distracted by the television, and his roommate. Part of him wished he could get rid of the thing- the television, not the roommate- since it most definitely had a negative effect on his studies, but it had been his graduation gift from his mother and step-father, and he didn't want to seem ungrateful, especially since they splurged to get him a nice flat screen that he knew they couldn't afford.

The library was more full that he was expecting for a Tuesday, and he had to wander to the second floor before he found a table that was completely empty. He didn't pay much attention to the other people in the room, hoping that in turn they wouldn't pay much attention to him.

Lawson didn't mind meeting new people, but he preferred to keep his social time and study time separate to avoid distractions.

Once he was seated, he unzipped his backpack and removed all necessary items: his Calculus notebook, his textbook, his pencils, and his graphing calculator. To procrastinate, he took a minute to arrange the items in front of him, but once that was done, he had no choice but to open his book to the first chapter.

The night before, as he laid awake in bed, he came up with a plan, which involved him doing a single problem over and over again until his answer matched the one in the book. Only once he succeeded at this could he move on to the next problem, and repeat the process. It would take him a long time to work through all five sections of the chapter that they were to be tested on, but he had nothing else to do for the rest of the day, and he had stayed up late the night before finishing his assignment for Chemistry so he could use this day to focus on math.

It took him less than a minute to solve the first problem, which gave him confidence, that slowly went away over the next twenty minutes as he stressed over the second problem. He didn't understand how one problem could make perfect sense to him, while the next one seemed to be made for someone at a whole other skill level, introducing new variables that he didn't understand.

He wouldn't give up thought. He couldn't. Because giving up on studying meant giving up on his test, and if he failed this test, it would be almost impossible for him to get his grade back up.

And if he wanted to go to school again next semester, he needed to keep his grade up.

Lawson checked the back of his book again, even though he had looked back there enough times to know his answer was still incorrect. With a frustrated pull at his hair, he turned back to the page with his problem on it. It was at the point where he didn't even know how to go about it anymore. He'd gone back into the chapter and read the given examples, but he still couldn't figure out what e was, and why it was treated differently than all the other variables.

Persistent as ever, Lawson ripped another piece of paper from his notebook before flipping back to the front, where the notes for the section he was currently studying were. They weren't really helpful- everyone who had ever tried to help him with math had always told him he took the worst notes ever- but looking at them made him feel as if he at least had it a little bit together.

That's what he was doing- sitting there staring blankly at his notes while hoping to look productive- when the chair next to him pulled out. Alarmed, Lawson's eyes snapped up to the intruder, and Sean looked back at him for a moment, blue eyes hooded in the shadow of his navy baseball cap, before dropping into the chair. "Hi!" Lawson exclaimed, louder than appropriate for the library, which resulted in a few less than pleasant looks.

"Hey," Sean replied, eyebrows raising a bit and Lawson's exuberance. He leaned back in his chair, just slightly, and fixed Lawson with a calculating look. "You studying?"

"Uh huh," Lawson responded, turning to look back at his notebook, and then hastily tucking the two pages of failed work under his textbook. When he looked back at Sean, the boy was just looking at his face with a somewhat amused look.

"And it's going well?" He inquired, and Lawson, embarrassed to admit otherwise, nodded eagerly.

"Oh, totally".

Sean hummed. "Really?" He said, eyes flicking over to the blank sheet of paper for a moment before back or Lawson's face as he continued to nod. "Because I've been sitting at the table over there for the last fifteen minutes watching you pull your hair out". Sean pointed- probably to the table he had been sitting at- but Lawson didn't look, only gazed at Sean with wide brown eyes before groaning loudly. He pressed his hands to his face, covering his eyes.

"You just sat and watched me suffer?" Lawson whined, and Sean didn't respond, so he continued. "None of this stuff makes sense to me". Lowering his hands, Lawson began to wildly gesture at the page his textbook was open to. "I just... I don't even understand what some of the problems are asking me to do, and the longer I don't get it, the more frustrated I get". If felt like he was revealing a secret, but for some reason he was comfortable sharing it to Sean. Probably because he had admitted far more embarrassing things about himself the day before, and Sean was still willing to sit next to him and look at him with interest.

"It's alright," Sean assured, his voice incredibly soft. The sound of of a zipper being pulled open had Lawson's eyes darting to the side. Sean was reaching into his backpack and removed his notebook, the one they had used the day before to complete their calc problems.

"...What are you doing?"

"I'm going to help you," Sean answered casually.

"You don't have class or anything?"

"Not until later". Sean flipped his notebook open to the first page, and then reached over and pulled the two pages Lawson had hid from under his textbook. "I'm going to look and see what you're doing wrong". He was silent then, blue eyes moving over Lawson's messy scrawl, and Lawson stared at the side of his face and wondered why he was so willing to help him. If Sean noticed the gaze, he didn't say anything about it.

Eventually, Lawson looked away, down at his lap as he waited for Sean to speak. "Okay... so you clearly don't know what e means". Lawson groaned, and Sean reached over and grabbed Lawson's notebook. "We learned about it on the first day in class. It should be in your notes".

Immediately, Lawson reached over and took the notebook back from Sean before he could really see it, and the boy's eyebrows shot up. "Don't bother. It's not in there".

Sean looked at Lawson's notebook, looked at Lawson, and then pressed his lips together. His eyes narrowed a little. "Why not?"

When Lawson dropped his notebook on the table, it made a loud smacking noise that had people around them turning heads. "Because, I don't know how to take notes," he admitted, happy that he was able to say it rather than have Sean tell him.

"You kinda just write everything that's on the whiteboard," Sean advised and Lawson just looked at him blankly. "It's alright. We can look at my notes". He pushed his notebook over to Lawson, and then pointed at something on the page. "So e is actually just a number. Kinda like pi-"

"Wait," Lawson cut in. "So some variables are actually numbers?"

"Yeah, some of them. Not most".

"Then how do I know if ones a number or not?" Lawson asked, slightly panicked and Sean leaned a little closer to him.

"Okay, well, if you see a variable in a problem, it is safe to assume that it's not an actual number, unless it's e, which is approximately 2.71," Sean explained, his voice calm.

"Why?"

Sean slowly brought his gaze to Lawson's face. "I'm guessing you don't want me to explain that to you, because I doubt that you would understand it without thorough explanation, and it will make you even more confused about what you're supposed to be doing in the problems for the exam," Sean rationalized, and Lawson immediately nodded, but his face felt wrong. He felt like he was being told that was a stupid question in the nicest way possible. "So, e is 2.71, which is just a number. Now, one of the most common derivatives- all of which you should copy down into your notes- is the derivative of e to the power of x is just still e to the x, which is what you're struggling with in this problem". Sean pushed the blank piece of paper Lawson had out towards him. "Try again".

Lawson did, and with Sean's help, he got the right answer on the first try, and then breathed out a sigh of relief. "How come this just makes more sense to me when you explain it?" Lawson inquired, tilting his head to look at Sean, who stared back at him, eyes slightly wider than usual. Sean's eyes widened still as Lawson's mouth pulled into a grin. "You're really good at this whole teaching thing. I mean, I'm absolutely helpless when it comes to math, but you've somehow actually taught me something".

Sean's eyes dropped to the table, as if shy, but his cheeks didn't flush. "I'm glad you think so. I better be good at it since it's what I'm planning to do for the rest of my life".

"Education major?" Lawson questioned, feeling stupid for not realizing it sooner, because it made perfect sense.

"Math education, to be precise," Sean explained, and Lawson laughed softly. He said math like maaath, and it was cute.

"You're going to be a fantastic teacher," Lawson breathed. Sean seemed to be thinking about how to react to this, because he was unresponsive for a minute, but then the most beautiful smile lit up Sean's face, and Lawson blinked in surprise. Right in front of his eyes, Sean went from attractive to breath taking.

"Thanks," Sean responded. "What do you want to do with your life?"

It occured to Lawson that it was the first personal question that Sean had ever bothered to ask him, and he actually sounded interested in the response. It made Lawson feel bad that his answer was so dull. "I honestly have no clue. It actually makes me kind of jealous that you have something that's just so perfect for you that it's not even something you need to think about".

Sean hummed in understanding, leaning forward to prop his elbows up on the table. "It's alright though". The researance made Lawson smile.

"I know, I'm just worried, I guess. There's a lot of pressure to decide what I'm going to major in if I want to graduate in four years". He felt strange opening up to Sean about this- it felt kind of like a secret- but the boy's steady blue grey eyes didn't weaver at the confession.

"I'm not trying to tell you what everyone tells you, but you'll be fine". Unable to hold it back, Lawson sighed. "There are a lot of people in the same place you are. I mean, I'm a rarity in the way I'm 100% confident in what I want to do, and I've known for years. Most people won't have the same majors they started with a year from now". Sean was looking at Lawson's face, and saw something that made him frown. "I just told you what everyone tells you, right?"

Laughing, Lawson nodded. "I don't mind thought". He didn't. At least, not when it as Sean saying it to him. "How'd you learn you wanted to be a math teacher?" The questioned seemed to surprise Sean, but he answered nevertheless.

"My algebra teacher in middle school inspired me". Lawson blew out a long huff of hot air.

"You took algebra in middle school?" He asked, exacerbated with himself. It must have been funny, because Sean laughed. "Hey, what middle school did you go to?"

Most people from the college were locals, so Lawson was expecting to recognize the name Sean provided. This is why when he said "I went to Lincoln middle school," Lawson's eyebrows furrowed.

"Huh. I haven't heard of that one," he admitted, and when he looked at Sean, his eyes were back down on the table. Once again, almost shy, but not quite.

"Yeah, you probably wouldn't". When he said the word probably, Lawson caught the accent again. It was so subtle that most of the time, it wasn't even noticeable, but with some words it came out. For the first time, Lawson considered that maybe it was something Sean had because he hadn't grown up in the area.

"Where is it?" Lawson inquired, propping his elbow up and then leaning on his fist towards Sean's who's blue eyes shot to him and then began to flicker over Lawson's face.

"Madison, Wisconsin," he answered softly, and Lawson felt his eyes get wide. While he had been expecting somewhere other than Florida, he hadn't been expecting something that far.

"Wisconsin?"

"Yeah," Sean confirmed, laughing a little at Lawson's surprise. "That's where I grew up. Ever been?"

"I've been nowhere," Lawson admitted, and Sean looked surprised. "So, you've seen snow before, right?"

"Yeah". He looked amused. "I've seen snow before. Lots of it". Lawson just looked at him, his lips turned down. He'd always wanted to see snow before on something other than the television. "You haven't?" The question made Lawson scoff.

"They don't have snow in nowhere," he mumbled to himself, but Sean overheard him in the nearly silent library and chuckled. "Why the hell would you come here for school if you already lived somewhere awesome like that?"

With a shrug, Sean responded, seeming unenthused. "I visited Disney World in fifth grade, and I've wanted to come back ever since". It was an answer that seemed kind of cliché, so Lawson snorted. "I know, it's stupid right? But I really liked it there, and I wanted to get away from home".

"And do you like it here?" Lawson asked, desperately hoping Sean said yes, though he wasn't sure why.

"I... at first it was really hard, since I'm living in the apartments, and my roommate dropped out within a week of classes starting, but I'm starting to like it more. The weather is beautiful and I really like a the little lizards". Humming in agreened, Lawson leaned forward a little more and studied Sean's face. They were quiet for almost a full minute, just searching for something in one another's eyes, and then Lawson smiled.

"So," he began, cutting the silence. "What does snow feel like?"

***

They talked for another twenty minutes before Sean forced them to get back on topic, but even then they found themselves talking about a handful of different things between problems. It was getting easier, Lawson realized, the longer they went through it, and he only had one more mental breakdown in section three that involved Sean taking out a blank piece of paper and writing important notes down for him.

They must have been there for hours when Sean began to pack up his bag, saying he needed to stop in his room before class to gather his books. Lawson didn't want him to go, but he felt it would be weird to admit this to Sean, so he simply thanked him for putting up with him for all this time.

As Sean stood, he smiled and said, "it wasn't as hard as you seem to think it is, spending time with you". Lawson wanted to ask him what that meant, but Sean wasn't looking at him anymore as he pulled his backpack on.

Tilting his head backwards, he looked up at Sean's face. He hadn't really noticed it before, but Sean was actually pretty tall. Much taller than Lawson had been expecting from just seeing the other sitting down. This was also another thing that would be weird to point out, so Lawson pressed his lips together and kept quiet.

"Hey," Sean said to get his attention, and Lawson blinked slowly as his eyes slid back up to his face, wondering exactly when they had left it. "Give me your phone number".

Immediately, Lawson was asking "why?"

"Because, you were clearly struggling, and didn't call me for help even though I told you to, so I'll just text you when I'm at the library and you can come study with me if you need," Sean explained, as if it was that simple, which it most definitely was not. Lawson wondered why Sean felt it was his duty to help him, but didn't want to protest in case it made Sean withdraw the offer.

He recited his phone number and Sean programmed it into his phone. Before he could leave, Lawson hastily said, "Hey man, listen. I'm not a complete idiot, and if you need someone to edit a paper or something just email me. I'm actually really good at that kind of thing".

Sean's eyebrows were raised when he said, "thanks". At first, he couldn't tell if Sean was mocking him or not, but then he gave him the most sincere smile. "Yeah, I'm in science fiction and fantasy literature this semester and I honestly don't know anything about either genre, so that may be helpful".

"Science fiction and fantasy literature?" Lawson repeated in awe, and Sean nodded. "Dude, that's fucking awesome".

With a laugh, and an "I really need to go," Sean left.

Less than a minute later, as Lawson was packing up, the chair was occupied again, but this time by a much shorter and more annoying person. Before Lawson could even ask Reese what the hell he wanted, Kye was taking the seat directly across from him and looking at him expectantly. For a minute, he waited, but then neither of them said anything. "What the hell you guys?" He hissed under his breath. "Are you two always together?"

"We live together," Kye defended, somewhat awkwardly.

"Yeah, and we're not in your dorm right now," he pointed out, to which Kye shrugged. "Why are you-"

"So," Reese cut in eagerly, propping his elbow up onto Lawson's shoulder and leaning in close enough that his breath could be felt on the side of his neck. He was so close that Lawson didn't want to turn his face towards him, so he instead stared at Kye, who looked back blankly. "Who was that?" There was mischief in his voice, and it had Lawson raising his eyebrows.

"It seemed like you two were having quite the time together," Kye added. Wide eyes flicked back and forth between the two roommates.

"He's helping me with math".

Reese looked disbelieving. "Because Disney world has to do with math," he grumbled, and Lawson scoffed.

"You were eavesdropping? Where even were you guys?" Lawson demanded, leaning away from Reese so his arm fell off its perch on his shoulder.

"Lawson," he whined, pouting. "Why didn't you tell us you had a super cute boyfriend?"

"And why didn't you mention liking men in the first place," Kye contributed, his eyes narrowing and Lawson's mouth dropped open for what he figured was a full minute before he huffed.

"He is not my boyfriend, and I don't-" his voice trailed off, and he shook his head. "I don't really think about my sexuality often. Liking boys is... well, a difficult concept for me to grasp still and I just-" Lawson stopped speaking as Reese dropped a hand onto his forearm.

"I could help you come to terms with it," Reese flirted, dropping an eye in a wink, and Kye made a scoffing noise, and then scowled at his roommate. When his eyes moved to Lawson, his expression stayed pretty much the same.

"It might be a difficult concept, but you most defiantly like boys," Kye claimed, and Lawson shifted nervously in his seat, averting his eyes.

"How can you tell?" His voice held skepticism.

With complete confidence, Kye said,