Another loss

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"I'm sorry Jungkook , we tried our best ." , he sighed while handing me the reports .

My heart was racing . The beats were not in rhythm as I slowly flipped through the reports , to then find a sonogram report .

It was Y/N's baby . Our baby . It wasn't that clear , but still I could figure out that it was our baby in her womb . Tears filled up my eyes , of turbulent emotions gushing inside me . Even though she was too young to be a mother , I would still be by her side , giving the best upbringing to our upcoming prince or princess .

"I-Is this what I think it is ? It's our baby ?" , I stuttered as I clutched the report next to my heart . Streams of tears were falling from my eyes as I could imagine her not knowing what happiness is coming in our life .

"Yes , that is your baby , Jungkook . But , the sad news is that , the fetus-" , I raised my hand as a gesture to make him stop . "It's our  baby , not a fetus ."

The doctor sighed as he gulped down nervously . "Jungkook , hear me out first . Your baby is no more alive ."

This is what I feared . Darting my eyes at the doctor's face , I stood up with the reports in my hands . The sonogram was definetely our baby's , but hearing and knowing about it's death shattered my happiness in a second .

"Stop lying ! This can't be true . No , no , our baby has not even arrived and .... no , it's just building up , how could you just judge that ? It's just been a day , i-it can't be , don't just speak rubbish ." Tears of extreme emotions fell from my eyes as I fell on my knees again .

"Jungkook , collect yourself . Even if your baby hasn't arrived in this world , Y/N is alive . She'll soon be in her senses , but she has to stay at the hospital for today ." I couldn't believe how restrained and calm was the doctor . Grabbing his collars in anger , I let my rant out .

"Do you fucking even care about our baby ? Y/N would have been so happy to start off a family with me ! I would always support her through everything , and you are just turning a blind eye to the whole situation ? Shame on a doctor like you , shame !"

Some nurses and doctors came to collect me away from him , as the doctor coughed in suffocation .

"Mr. Jeon Jungkook , please control yourself . This is the hospital , and silence should be maintained ." , the nurse warned me as she head to the treatment room again .

As now , the corridor was completely empty . The doctors had started into their works again , as I sat there , with the sonogram in my hands . Staring at it , tears started flowing uncontrollably from my eyes . Our family was just about to start . Even if Y/N was just 18 , it still didn't matter if our family would start . It had just been some days in our relationship , and all of this was just happening in haste . All the truths were slowly coming in front of me . My mother hated me . I was always the reason behind my father's death . Y/N was losing her trust on me , and even our baby's death's reason was me .

In the midst of this pandemic , all of this was happening . I didn't care if I died because of the virus , because all what mattered to me was me not affecting my family .

Wiping my tears away , I finally decided what to do . Fishing from my pocket , I finally found the razor . "Harm is the only way" .

Slowly bringing the razor close to me , I closed my eyes to prevent from crying . Because this pain was nothing from the pain I was producing to all other people .

"You can do this , Jungkook ." , I said while bringing the razor close to me .

As soon as I brought it close to me , the treatment door opened , bringing out the nurse , all in panic .

Standing up in a jerk , I asked about what caused her to panic so much . "What happened nurse ?!" , I said , panicking myself .

"Y/N is in her senses , but she's breathing at a heavy rate and calling your name ." , the nurse said while panting .

I took no time in barging inside the room , only to find Y/N breathing heavily , her chest rising up and down at an impeccable pace .

"Y/N !" , I said while going next to her and grabbing her hand , intertwining our fingers . 

"J-Jungkook" , she let out a breathy call as I started patting her forehead to relax her .  "I'm here , I'm here always with you ." , I said , trying to contain my tears .

The nurse came inside , rushing with an injection to inject it into her , making her less restless than now .

"Don't do that ! She's already had a lot of drugs . Now no more injections . I'm here with her . Always ." , I said while planting a kiss on her forehead .

Suprisingly , her breathing rate turned normal than before , smiling to herself while falling into deep sleep . I smiled for the first time after hours while looking at her innocent smile .

"How can that be possible ?" , the nurse asked in amazement , while checking her temperature . "She needs me , and I'm with her now ."

The nurse smiled while nodding , as she left the room for bringing a healthy meal for Y/N .

I sat there , next to her body , holding her hand tightly , not thinking about leaving it . I was scared that I might lose her again .

My eyes laid at the sonography projector , showing the baby in her womb , just building up . It again hit me that our child was just coming into existence when it died right after some days .

"I'm sorry Y/N . It was my fault that I left you alone when I should have tried to understand you . I'm sorry , I know I always ruin things . See , after me being the reason behind my father's death , I even became the reason behind our baby's death . Please apologise me , please ." , I said while breaking into millions of tears , damping her clothes .

"You ...... never did anything ..... Jungkook ......" , she said , while slowly opening her eyes .

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