62 | bleeding love

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gray's point of view

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I snap my head up when the elevator lights turn on, wondering who the hell could be coming up right now. Slowly, I shut my notebook and set it down beside me on the couch. With tension rigid in my body, I stand up and stalk toward the elevator door, prepared to confront the intruder.

Chewie's going crazy beside me, barking manically. I bend down and scratch behind his ear, calming him down. Still, I'm on guard.

My entire demeanor changes the instant the doors slide open and I set eyes on my River. In a few strides, I close the distance between us. She smiles sweetly at me. I bend down to kiss her full lips, the lips I've memorized the taste of.

"Hey, baby," I say, moving a strand of slightly damp hair away from her face. Even with no makeup on, she's the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on. "What's up? Didn't get enough of me in the last two days?"

She tilts her head at me and smiles. "Nope, never," she says, then stands on her tiptoes to move our faces closer together. River wraps her arms around my neck, and she melts into my body perfectly. "I texted you that I was coming over."

"Sorry, I didn't have my phone on me," I say, considering telling her what I was preoccupied with, but she's hardly listening to me. River's focused on my lips, and I anticipate the next kiss she gives me.

Her dark eyes dart around the room when we break away, and I turn to wonder what she's looking for. "Where's Gracie?" She asks, biting her lip softly. Watching her nibble on her bottom lip makes my blood run hot, and a million different scenarios--all involving that mouth of hers--fly through my mind. I take a deep breath.

"Her last physical therapy appointment," I answer, glancing at my watch and trying to distract myself. "I'm picking her up in about an hour."

She lands her sights back on me, and a devious look crosses over her features. Desire fills those beautiful eyes of hers, making my blood run even hotter. Riv hops up to kiss me again, more passionately and lustfully this time, and I'm caught by surprise.

I gently pull her away. "No need to rush, Riv," I assure her, amused by her impulsivity. But watching her face, I see her expression go from lustful to impatient in less than a heartbeat. Suddenly, I realize she's holding something back. She's . . . off.

Moving closer to her, I examine every fine detail of her face, searching for a crack in her emotional mask. Willing her to be vulnerable to me.

"Hey," I say, softening my voice. Gently, I grasp her chin. "Look at me, baby."

Unlike the many times before that I've done this, she doesn't relax into my touch. She clenches her jaw, and I realize she's nervously shaking her leg. I wonder how I didn't notice her strange behavior earlier.

"What's wrong?" I ask, staring into her alluring hazel eyes. Her full, pink lips are neutral, not giving away any sign of how she's truly feeling. Instead of answering, she just bites her lip again softly, aiming her eyes anywhere but into my own. "I'm listening," I assure.

"I'm fine," she insists, tension lacing her voice. She's still adamantly not looking at me. Concern fills my chest, and I think through every one of our previous conversations, searching for any hint of difficulty. But River masks her emotions well, only letting her feelings of lust shine through.

I see that her eyes are hazy with need, and she presses her body back against mine, catching me by surprise. I feel the smooth curves under her clothes, anxious to find any solution to her obvious stress.

"I just need you," she whispers, standing on her tip-toes to reach my mouth. Her lips are quick and passionate against mine, and I get lost in the softness of her. As hard as it is to do so, I pull away gently, cradling her face in my hands.

"Are you drunk? High?" I ask, checking for dilated pupils. She smirks up at me and bites her lip again. I realize that she's never bitten her lip like this before. She's all over the place.

"No, sir," she says with a playful tint to her voice, switching her emotions again. Then she kisses me again.

My desire for her grows by the second, reacting to the addictive feeling of her soft, familiar body against mine. I want her more than anything, but I need her to talk to me. "Riv," I say lowly, pulling away. "I know something is wrong. You have to tell me. I can make you feel better if you'd just let me."

Her body straightens next to mine as she considers my words, and I know she's having an internal battle with herself. It kills me to see her wrestling with her emotions, and I just want to make the pain go away. I'd do anything to ease her struggle right now.

When she turns back to me, she's biting her lip again. Every part of me reacts to her presence, and I want her in every way possible. Even her voice draws me in. "What would make me feel better is--" she takes a slow breath "---the love of my life making love to me. Right now."

Just hearing her say that makes my vision blur with hunger. "Are you sure?" I ask, fighting against my own body to keep her from pouncing on me. "You don't seem like yourself right now. I don't want to take advantage of you, baby."

She shakes her head fiercely, now roaming her hands over my body. "I'm completely sober. And I'm completely sure. Gray, you're not taking advantage of me if I'm the one asking you."

Then her lips are on mine, and my self-control is waning dangerously. She doesn't taste like alcohol or drugs. She tastes simply like River—impossibly sweet and real. And her movements are so sure, so passionate, and she convinces me wholeheartedly that she wants this as bad as I do.

And God, do I want her badly.

My entire heart stares up at me with desperate, lustful eyes. "Please, Gray," she says softly, running her hands over my chest. "I just need to forget right now."

So I give her what she wants.

X X X this isn't smut. this is love X X X

I sweep her into my arms, and she wraps her legs around my hips tightly. River lets out the smallest, most erotic moan as she feels my hardness pressing into her as clings to me. I can't get to the bedroom fast enough.

Even as I lay her on my bed, her legs remain wrapped around me, pressing my hardness into the warmth between her legs. I drag my hands up her silky legs, inching my way up toward the soft skin of her inner thighs. She writhes underneath me, and it takes everything in me to not lose control and take her right away.

My member pulses just thinking about the way Riv's soft body reacts to every single thing that I do to her. She's so sensitive, but only to my touch. River's mine and there are a million dark, dirty things I want to do to that beautiful body of hers.

But that can wait. Right now, I'm going to make sure she feels every ounce of my love while I invade every inch of her sweet skin. With my own body, I'm going to take River's mind off anything that might be causing her pain. I'm going to do more than make her feel better.

Right now, I'm going to make love to her. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

I lift myself off her just enough to strip my shirt off. Looking into her eyes, I slowly pull her sweatshirt up and over her head, messing up her brown hair. Smiling, I bend back over her and kiss her as I move the strands off her face.

Then I look down and realize she's wearing the thinnest bra I've ever seen. Through the faded pink material, I can already see her small nipples waiting for me. With my thumbs, I stroke her gently through the fabric, watching with pleasure as she flutters her long eyelashes and moans again. The sweet sound does something to me, and I grow more urgent in my movements.

My movements are passionate, uninhibited as I pull our clothes off. I press my bare body against hers, showering her in tender kisses. But River's not in the mood for waiting, and she jerks me closer to her. I groan as her wetness spreads over my skin.

She looks so beautiful under me, naked and breathless.

"Tell me what you want, babe," I groan, lacing my fingers into her hair. "We don't have to go so fast."

River bites my lips playfully, then kisses me furiously. Then she slides away from me, up further onto the bed. I lean back and watch as her tight body turns around so she's facing the headboard. I reach down and stroke myself a few times, easing some of the painful arousal she's eliciting in me.

River positions herself on all fours, glancing back at me with a teasing gaze. She separates her legs the tiniest bit and arches her back, exposing every inch of herself to me. I take in the mouthwatering sight before me: her glistening pink sex, ready for me to take.

I get onto the bed with her, placing my knees between her separated ones, keeping her legs open for me. Then I cover her, pressing my chest to her back, and I bring my mouth to her ear. I kiss her softly.

With one hand, I reach down to her wetness and circle my finger around her tiny clit. River moans loudly under me, and I smile into her hair. I test her wet entrance with one finger and groan at her unbelievable tightness. I insert one digit inside her while still rubbing her, and she whimpers beneath me.

"Feel better yet? " I ask, loving how she drops her head and leans against my arms for support as I pump my finger inside her. She's so warm and soft, and I want to feel her tense around me. No matter how tight she is, I'm amazed at how well she takes me into her every time.

I lift one hand to cup her cheek and turn her head toward mine. I gently part her lips with mine and kiss her tenderly. Wrapping my hand around my hardness, I line myself up at her entrance while still kissing her sweet lips.

With her lips still against mine as I enter her slowly, giving her small opening enough time to stretch around me. I groan as I feel her press around me tightly, adjusting to my size. I smooth my tongue over hers, and Riv purrs beneath me, letting me enter her body in two ways. The sounds she makes as she takes me inside her drive me crazy.

I gently pull my hips back, and her mouth widens against mine with pleasure as she feels the sudden emptiness. My hand caresses down to her waist and I hold her tightly against me, flattening our bodies together. River feels so perfect in my hands, tightening around me and moaning openly into my lips.

Our groans of ecstasy merge as I push back into her. My fingers touch her breasts beneath us, teasing around her nipples and drawing even more helpless sounds from her. I press into her soft body, doing everything in my power to make her feel as good as possible.

River's tantalizing moans grow more ragged and frequent, and I change the tempo. I straighten up, standing on my knees and looking down at her perfect body laid out before me. My hungry eyes rake down every inch of her smooth skin, every curve and dip of her stunning figure. I place both hands on her hips and dig my fingertips into her flesh, drawing her in to feel every inch of me.

"Gray, harder," she moans, laying her cheek against the bed desperately. "Please."

I skim my hands over her back, leaning down to press appreciative kisses to her shoulders, then I give her what she asked for. My grip on her hips rises to clench her waist, and I shove myself into her hard. She gasps then moans, arching her back further. Looking down, I can see where our bodies connect--where my body stretches into her entrance--, and I groan at the perfect sight.

I pump into her, hanging onto every flex of her lithe muscles and moan from her mouth. She writhes beneath me with every punctuated thrust, and I savor the power I have over her.

My love for her rushes forward, and I bend down to wrap both my arms around her narrow waist. She moans in surprise, and I keep pressing myself into her as I straighten with her in my arms. I'm standing on my knees, holding her tightly in front of me, fucking into her as she falls apart in my arms.

Riv's head falls back onto my shoulder as my thrusts grow more powerful, invading her tight body over and over. I kiss her cheek, her neck, her jaw, and I watch as her eyes close in ecstasy. Her face turns up toward the ceiling, and she looks like an angel. My angel.

My heart beats for her. I hold her in my arms, reminding her of this fact over and over. I bring my hand up from her waist, pressing over her soft breasts and up toward her neck. Tenderly, I place my hand around her delicate neck, holding her head next to mine.

My other hand goes down to take care of her pulsing clit, to drive her over the edge.

I whisper sweet, dirty nothings into her ear. Her small hands hold onto my arms for dear life, and I hold her up as I give her all my love. Every part of our bodies is connected, held tightly together, and beating in tune with one another. I feel every breath that her lungs take in, every soft sigh that passes through her swollen lips, and I can't get enough.

I can never get enough of her.

My heart swells knowing I'm capable of doing this to her, of drowning her mind and body in intense emotion. I cover her skin with my lips, letting her know that she has the exact same power over me. She owns every inch of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My pounding love for her is gasoline to the fire that's growing. Buried inside River, I build toward my release. But I hold back, slowing my strokes just to please her delicate body. My sensual strokes into her elicit a flurry of beautiful moans from her, and we stoke our fires together.

She throws her head back in release, and I finally allow mine to overtake me.  I turn her head toward mine and take her lips with my own, stealing her into the deepest kiss imaginable. River kisses me back with equal love as my love fills her.

X X X not steamy, but oh so loving :') X X X

Endorphins flood our warm bodies, irreversibly tying us together. We're both lost, overtaken by the pleasures of our body, and captivated by the fierce love in our hearts.

Then I feel something wet on my face, dampening the skin where my skin meets hers. Immediately, I pull back, alarmed.

I realize she's crying. Right away, I hold her face in my hand and attempt to brush away her tears. But they keep coming until she's nothing but a pile of heaving sobs. She falls down onto the bed.

I rush to take her into my arms, to take away whatever pain she's feeling and bear it myself. River melts into me, burying her head in my chest and continuing her sobs.

"Tell me what's wrong," I say, already angry at whatever has caused her this much sadness. But I soften when she looks up at me, her emotional mask finally gone completely. River's beautiful eyes are red with tears, and pinkness floods her small nose and cheeks. Her vulnerability strikes me deep, and I press a kiss to her tear-streaked cheeks.

Then a painful thought hits me. "Did I hurt you?" I ask, scanning her body for physical pain. Did I hold her too tightly? I look down at my hands, wondering how I could have hurt the love of my life.

"No," she sobs, wiping her face aggressively. "No, it's not you, Gray. It's not you."

"Then what is it, baby?" I ask gently, trying desperately to calm her down. Knowing I'm not the source of her pain does little to soothe my worries. It kills me to see her like this.

River sniffs loudly, pulling at her hair with anxious hands. I realize she's still not looking straight at me. Something is wrong.

Then finally she does, meeting my concerned gaze with that of terrible sadness. My blood freezes when I see that look in her eyes. It's not sadness for herself--it's sadness for me. Regret.

I brace myself for the blow to come. My heart is in her hands, and I watch as she prepares to destroy it right before my eyes. And I let her, watching as her lips form the words.

"I'm leaving, Gray."

chapters remaining: 3 + epilogue

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