Chapter 33

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Chapter 33

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Turns out Naomi and I are like twinsies.

Okay, that's an exaggeration. But we both suck at playing pool.

And we both find Jake annoying.

After we lost to his sinful tactics at the pool table, we returned to dinner, where I had the pleasure of hearing about his diaper stage and how he crashed every girly sleepover by taking over the spotlight with his karaoke skills.

"You guys want to come over to my place for hookah and tea?" John asks randomly.

"You mean what I'm smoking and drinking right now?" I look down at my cup with steaming chamomile and a gold metal hose.

He scoffs. "I serve quality shit. This doesn't count."

"I'm down for quality shit," Jake says. "But I'm still a little tipsy, so someone else needs to drive."

"Uh, hello, I'm someone else." I raise my hand, but he ignores me. I smack his arm. "Do you want to die?"

He stares at me with a crooked smirk, causing my anger to deflate like a slutty balloon.

"I'll drive." Naomi chimes in, oblivious of our exchange. "You go with John, I'll take your car."

"Why?" Jake scowls, though I'm not sure what he's being protective over — me or his car.

"Because it's my birthday and I want to drive your car without you nagging me to slow down." She raises her eyebrows like he doesn't have a choice.

He gives up with a shrug, making me throw my hands in the air. "Am I just cattle to you?"

After covering the check, we get in the car and Naomi zooms onto the freeway, making me leave my soul behind.

"So, Jake said you need help with a child custody attorney, yeah? I can refer you to someone. Not sure if he'll be available on such short notice, but we can try. Are you... listening?"

"Did you say something?" My hair whips around from the wind as I glue my spine to the seat. "Cause you're driving a hundred miles an hour in stilettos and changing the music every five seconds!"

She giggles like my terror brings her joy. "Relax, I'm an excellent driver..."

"U-huh, I'll put that on my tombstone — Mia Ayan, dead for believing Naomi's lies."

"Do you want help with the lawyer or not?"

~

When she pulls on the driveway and I get out — no, wobble out with nausea and trauma — Jake holds me with an amused smile.

"What happened to your face... and your hair?"

I fist his jacket to pull him down. "Your sister... is a maniac."

"Hey," she snaps behind me while her friends nod. "Assholes. Where's John?"

"In the back, he said to meet him there," Jake answers then looks at me. "You have my car keys?"

"Yup, they're in my purse."

"Alright..." Naomi sighs. "Follow me, people."

Heels and dress shoes hit the pavement as she leads us around the house.

Jake whispers in my ear. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?"

I melt against him. "Not at all, please say it again."

He kisses my temple while Naomi tells us to get a room. I giggle and wrap my arms around him.

In the midst of our disgusting couple moment, a pathway of candles and roses emerge. They lead us down the backyard, unveiling curtains of string lights, draped on every tree. It's as if the sky is pouring with galaxies.

Soft music — Bruno Mars or some shit — starts to play as Naomi walks ahead, each timid step hinting her surprise and awe.

Jake gasps and Naomi's friends whip out their phones, smiles splitting their faces.

Then I look over Naomi's shoulder, where John stands in the middle of a heart shaped arrangement of dead flowers — proud and grinning.

Naomi does that feminine gesture where she covers her mouth with both hands as if one won't suffice.

She steps into the cult — excuse me — heart formation and holds John's hands. Her friends surround like paparazzi as he gets on one knee and mutters something lovey dovey. Then she nods and everyone screams.

And I guess it's sort of sweet, but also... meh.

At any moment, I just expect birds to fly and sit on our shoulders, so we can sing.

But then Jake's stupid arms wrap around me from behind and his stupid lips brush my cheek, making me soft and fragile like a stupid feather.

My skin tingles with warmth as unfamiliar yet serene contentment flows through me, cloaking over every dark and abandoned space.

And at that moment, everything feels perfect.

"We're getting married!" John yells.

Suddenly, a noise equivalent to a village erupts from the house and we turn our heads. Then the doors burst open, and indeed, a village pours into the backyard.

My soul leaves my body.

"Oh my God, my family's here!" Jake shouts, but I can't move.

I witness the tragedy of animated relatives ravage the formerly intimate space, waving trays of meats, fruits, and breads above their heads. Fucking musicians come out, two with drums the size of baby elephants, pounding with duduk and traditional instruments that I can't even name.

Women wave napkins, yelling 'tashi, tash, tash, tash!' while I wonder whether the neighbors are being held hostage so nobody calls the cops over the noise.

Grandparents with canes get left behind, children from toddlers to teenagers run around like my worst nightmare, a scene from a horror movie.

Suddenly John and Naomi are in front of us, grinning with joy and I realize I'm supposed to mirror their excitement and congratulate them. And I do, I follow the muscle choreography, but I'm not here. I'm a puppet and everything is blurry, muffled, an echo.

"I was not expecting this." I hear Jake's choked up voice and look up to see tears pooling his eyes, staring at his sister like it's the best day of his life. And I don't have the heart to bother him. So I stay quiet, noting the pounding in my ears.

John pulls Jake aside for vodka, Naomi hugs her friends, and I squeeze my arms tight against my body, hoping I'll go unnoticed.

"You must be Jake's girlfriend!" A blonde woman with shoulder length hair greets. "I'm so happy to finally meet you!" She's incredibly soft when she hugs me.

"You...too..." I mumble, hoping she'll tell me why the hell she's so happy to meet me.

Her smile is full of life. "I'm Jake's mom! He asked me to make soup for you one time."

"Oh!" God, my armpits are wet. "It's nice to meet you," I repeat again.

"This is my husband, Greg." She puts an affectionate palm on the man's chest next to her as I look at him.

And without a doubt, that's Jake, twenty or thirty years from now.

"Hi, nice to meet you." The deepest and gentlest accent rumbles, dimples grazing his wrinkled cheeks.

I shake his hand and blush. "Nice to meet you...."

"Mom!" Naomi throws her arms around the woman whose name I still don't know. "Look!" She shows her the ring, it's the size of my eye.

"You don't have a drink?" Greg asks, tone beyond calm despite the chaos around.

"I, uh, don't really like to drink."

He makes a tsk sound with a head tilt. "You have to. I bring you a drink." He beckons some man for a bottle of whiskey, then leans towards his wife. "Bring us some glasses."

"Hey! You met my parents..." Jake pops by my side with an uncertain smile, searching how I'm doing.

I'm about to telepathically tell him that I'm dying, but our eardrums get blasted by musicians circling us, accompanied by videographers and photographers, documenting each second of this obnoxious scene.

And as if it's another day at the office, everyone dances and cheers along, careless about the cameras and flashing lights. People grab my hands and drag me with them.

My eyes follow all these legs, lifting and switching left to right, and I try to keep up, but who am I kidding? I'm behind a glass wall, and no one sees it.

I need to run.

Thankfully they release my hands to clap. John and Naomi get in the middle, men throw dollar bills in the air, kids run to take them and toss them back up, screaming and shrilling and twirling. Women bounce with babies in their arms, younger guys do squat kicks and whistle.

And I slowly back the fuck up, thankfully ignored. I turn to leave, but I'm blocked by a mob of elders, who are half my size and are looking at me like I'm their lost child who's finally been found. "What a pretty lady, do I know your parents, sweetheart?"

"I...doubt it." I force my voice to be friendly.

"Are you sure? Does your mom work at Nune's nail salon on Glenoaks?"

"No..." I walk around them, hoping to get away.

"She must be so proud to have such a beautiful daughter." One with short, red hair flashes her dentures.

My chest twists at her innocent, false compliment. "Thank you..."

"Isn't she polite?" She bumps a frail arm against a suited old man. "Kids aren't raised like this anymore."

"You tell your parents that they did a great job!" An old man gives me a thumbs up.

"Mia, are you looking for the bathroom?" John catches me with the retirement squad.

"Yes. Where is it?"

~

Deep breaths. Take deep breaths.

"I can't believe my daughter is getting married!"

"Everyone, let's take pictures!"

"Lilit, come take a shot!"

You're ok.

You're pathetic.

Don't do this right now.

Then leave.

Someone knocks on the door. "Mia? You there?"

It's Jake. Let him in.

Are you kidding, that's even worse.

I get up from the floor to open the door. He looks concerned and he smells of alcohol. "Hey, why are you hiding here? They're all asking about you."

"I need to leave."

He steps in and locks the door, voice quiet. "Why? What's going on?"

"Are you kidding?" I breathe heavily, "I just met your whole family, Jake. I wasn't ready for this!"

He runs a hand through his hair, "I know, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that John was going to propose. I'm just as surprised as you are."

I look down and wrap my arms around myself, leaning against the wall. "I don't belong here."

He clicks his tongue and steps closer, putting his palms on my shoulders. He rubs his thumbs over my cold skin. "Of course you do. You belong with me."

My chest heaves, there's just not enough air, not enough space, not enough time. "Please, please. I'm so sorry, I know this is a huge deal, it's your sister's night, but I need to leave."

Jake looks at me a moment longer, taking me in. "Alright, let's go."

"No, not with you. You should stay, be with your family."

He cups my face, dips to my eye level. "I'm not leaving you alone, you need me."

"No, not tonight, I'm fine. I've been upset many times before you came into my life." I shake my head and push him away.

"I want to take care of you, you're my baby."

"No... this is moving too fast." I pant, stepping around him. "It's just too much. I'm suffocating, I need to leave. Please, Jake, just let me leave."

I unlock the door, ignoring the shocked faces of women in front of me. I keep my eyes on the floor, rush out the main door and walk down the pathway, away. Away from all this—

"Wait up," Jake calls as I reach the street.

My feet hurt, my throat hurts, my chest hurts. I get in his car and adjust the seat, pull down the mirrors. Jake opens the passenger side as I take off my heels.

"What are you doing?" He asks as I throw my shoes in the backseat. "I'll drive."

"You reek of alcohol." I retort with gritted teeth and reach to open his door. "Get out."

He closes it again, giving me a stern look. "I told you I'm not leaving."

I glare, but he doesn't waver. "Why do you have to be so controlling?"

"I'm not controlling, I just don't want you driving upset, it's dangerous." He reasons with a gentle tone. Always gentle. So fucking gentle.

"Oh my God!" I scoff and press on the gas pedal. The car lurches onto the street. t. "Fine, stay here. Make sure nothing happens to your precious car, because I'm such a horrible driver, right? I'm not even capable of taking myself home."

"That's not why—"

"Does it feel good? Making me depend on you? Do you feel important? Or is it pity? Some sort of a charity project to save the broken girl?"

"Mia, what the hell are you talking about?" he asks as I switch lanes.

Tears threaten my eyes. "You shouldn't be here right now. I'm spiraling and taking you down with me."

"Just calm down, alright? You should pull over, you're too emotional to drive right now."

"I'm fine. Just stop talking, stop trying to make me feel better. I don't want to feel better right now." I sniffle, scared of the blurry vision ahead as I turn on the main street.

"Yeah, why would you? You have to punish yourself..."

"What?"

He sighs, his head low. "You freak out whenever someone shows you something you deserve. You're so scared of having it taken away that you'd rather be the first one to turn your back on it."

I stop breathing and glance at him. He meets my gaze, and I can't fucking understand for the life of me how or why he's looking at me like that. Sad, but not contemptuous. Serious, but not raging. Kind, and not faking.

I choke, my voice so small. "You think I don't know that? You think I push you away because it's fun? Like it's some sort of a game? No...I fucking do it because you deserve someone better! Someone healthier, someone from a normal family. So when she's surrounded with happiness, it doesn't feel like she's dying! So when you smile or do something sweet, she reciprocates it!"

"I'm not saying it so you blame yourself." He leans closer and puts his hand on my thigh, "I'm saying it, because you believe that you need to be perfect to be happy, or to be with me. But no one's expecting that except you. Just be you, you're fine the way you are."

"This is who I am!"

"And that's fine."

"No, it's not fucking fine! How can you be so spineless? How can you want this?!"

"Because I do."

"What is wrong with you?! Why?!"

"Because I love you."

My heart trembles. My voice trembles. My entire body trembles. "W-what?"

"I love you." He says it so easily, like it's so simple, so logical.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" My voice strangles, my body curls and the spaces close in. My mind recoils all over the walls, so quick I can't catch up, so quick I can't tell if we're moving, if I'm even breathing. "You're such a fucking idio—"

"Mia, watch out!"

Lights flare and tires squeal from a car turning left on the same street I was driving down. Jake throws himself on me as the incoming car hits and crumples the metal around us.









~~ A/N~~

I'm sure many of you expected Mia to ultimately get pushed too far (though maybe not this way, right?)

Thoughts? Predictions? Votes? <3

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