Chapter 12

***

"You little- put the hammer down! Right now!"

"N-no! Get off of her!"

"Honey, go to your room..."

"Mom, but he's hurting you!"

"Put the fucking hammer down!"

"I'll kill you! Let her go!"

My alarm goes off, waking me up from reliving a memory. I snort under my breath. Can't get a break. But the day doesn't care about my feelings. Time to get ready for work.

"Oh, come on." I grumble at the rip in my new pantyhose. It was meant for Monday's outfit and now I have no time to change; so I settle with black stockings that thankfully grip my upper thighs under the midi skirt.

Definitely not school appropriate, but who's going to find out?

It's midterm day today. Which means I'll be policing potential cheaters and in the event anyone asks a question, respond with a 'I don't know, what do you think the question means?"

At least if anyone fails, they can sign up to shadow me in therapy for extra credit.

Pulling into the parking lot, my booties hit the ground through the parked lines of cars. I'm analyzing last nights' nightmare when out of the corner of my eye, two men in oversized t-shirts and tattooed arms appear to be kicking a familiar sports car.

Normally, I'd walk away. I avoid drama like the plague. But they're messing with Jake's car, so against my better instinct, I decide to approach.

"Hey! What do you guys think you're doing?"

The two turn their heads mid-laughter, pause for a beat. One of them gives me a sly smile.

"Oh hey, cutie. Do you want a ride?"

I raise an unimpressed eyebrow and cross my arms. "Why? Did you bring your tricycle with you?"

They double over with nauseating laughter. One with stud earrings shakes his head. "Ah man, the feisty ones are always the funnest. What got you so mad, baby girl?"

"Seriously?" I scowl. "Tell me, when your monkey ears got bedazzled, did the gun go through your brain? Or were you born this stupid?"

Their faces still, but quickly recover. When they step away from the car, I almost relax with victory. Until they turn on their heels and walk toward me.

"If you're looking for attention, you should've said so in the beginning." One of them says. He has a buzz cut with a cigarette behind his ear. Arm covered with tattoos.

"Look, can you please just get away from that car? It's disrespectful and quite frankly immature." I try to stay calm and put my hands in my pockets.

"You know what's immature, sweetheart? Sticking your little nose in other people's businesses." He steps closer until his stench of cheap beer and nicotine creeps up my nose and churns my stomach.

"The funny thing is... " He bends down to my eye level with a sly smile. "I know bitches like you. Talking smart like you're better than the rest. Of course, until I have you spread open, saying 'daddy please.'"

He licks his lip while his eyes rove over me. My skin crawls with invisible bugs and bile rises up my throat. My body trembles with adrenaline and every instinct screams at me to fight.

"You're right..." I smile at him, raising my eyebrow. "I am a bitch."

I whip out the pepper spray from my pocket and spritz all over his deserving face. He falls on the ground with a high pitched cry, covering his blue-dyed face.

"Bitch—" His friend barks and shoves me back.

I stumble a few steps, but don't feel any pain. Instead I grit my teeth and spray him too, but I miss. He launches at me again, but I kick him, stabbing his groin with the pointy heel of my shoe. He falls on his back, holding his trampled pickle.

Motherfuckers don't know what type of a violence I've dealt with since I was a little girl. This is kindergarten.

"You know what, and I know losers like you." My voice trembles with rage and barely contained rage. "Acting like you're strong when deep down you're ashamed. Knowing you became someone who used to be cruel to you."

They only groan in pain, still on the ground. I shake my head with a bitter chuckle.

"Please leave, before I call authorities. And don't ever show your faces here again."

When they don't move, I raise the pepper spray again and they quickly run. I look around the parking lot for witnesses and realize I'm late to class. It's empty and the only people who could come for help are too far to notice.

Suddenly I'm grabbed by the shoulder and turned around. Blinded by panic, I tighten my hand into a fist and punch them in the face as hard as I can.

Oh my God. I just punched Jake.

"Fuck...Are you ok?" He groans, holding his cheek.

I stare with bulging eyes at his flushed, breathless face, like he just ran a thousand miles an hour. My mouth opens and closes in shock. "Don't... don't just sneak up on someone like that!"

His eyebrows knit as he runs his hand down his jaw, muscles tense, voice exasperated.

"I was running as fast as I could to get to you. I saw them harassing you. Are you okay?" His tone softens with the last question, eyes sweeping over me like an embrace.

My throat constricts. The space closes around me. My body itches to be held, yet to run and hide at the same time. I shake my head vigorously.

"We're late." I turn to leave, but he reaches for my hand. I yank it away and glance around for witnesses. "Don't! Jake, please."

"I just want to make sure you're okay." He says with a quiet voice.

I chuckle under my breath, eyes glazing with tears.

"Always have... always will be." I take a step back and slowly shake my head as he tries to reach for me. He pauses, lowering his hand before I turn away.

~

The clock in the lecture room takes forever to move. I'm exhausted. Jake's unreadable gaze doesn't make matters easier. Guilt weighs with the recollection of my irrational behavior earlier.

I shouldn't have confronted them.

I shouldn't have punched Jake.

I shouldn't have wanted to hug Jake.

The vulnerable, delusional need to grasp his leather jacket, press my face against his chest, have his arms envelop me and hear him say I'm okay...

I don't need it. I can't need it.

Yet, every time my eyes meet his across the room and catch his concern, I want to cry and let him care. And it debilitates me with guilt and shame.

~

Two hours past the exam, a fat stack of booklets wait to be graded at my desk. So I've been here, determined to go through at least a third and busy my mind from the events of the day.

When my eyes can't decipher the handwriting anymore, I stack a pile of exams in my hands, switch the lights off, and push the door handle down with my foot.

My heart jumps out of my chest for the millionth time today when I see Jake's dark figure in front of me.

"My God! Are you insane?" I cry out and stumble back. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry, I didn't want to bother you while you were working." He grumbles, stepping in. "Why did you stay so late?"

I scowl, wondering where he gets the right to ask such personal questions.

"Because I wanted to. Why are you here?"

"I wasn't going to let you walk to the parking lot by yourself after what happened today." He explains like he's talking to a five year old.

I scoff, a small smile on my lips. "You really think you're my Prince Charming, don't you?"

Jake paces towards me, zero humor on his features. I don't think I've ever seen such sternness before from him.

"This is not a joke." He says, stepping closer. "You could've really gotten hurt."

"And?" My voice shakes despite my attempt to stay strong. I step back and shift the contents in my hands, arms growing tired from their weight.

My back hits the wall and I realize he has me trapped. He studies me with slight frustration. 

"What do you want? Can't you see my hands are full?" I look up at him, matching his attitude.

"Good. Maybe it'll keep you still for once. You won't push me away." His voice is quiet, low, yet doesn't fail to increase my heartbeat. "Why did you confront those men? What did they want?"

I look away from him, realizing the reason is quite stupid.

"Because. They were acting inappropriate."

"Did they say something to you?"

"No."

"Do something to you?"

"No... "

Jake sighs impatiently. He dips his head to my eye level and turns my chin to him with his fingers. His face is outlined in the blue night, eyes sparkling.

"Then what... did... they do... Mia? Why'd you put yourself at risk?"

"I defended myself. And I don't appreciate you talking to me like that."

"You scared the shit out of me. Do you not care? Do you not care that they could've hurt you? Could've pulled out a gun? A knife? Followed you home?"

He's right. I know he is. And it lowers my defenses. I know I was irrational.

"Just tell me." He murmurs, eyes never leaving me.

I heave an exasperated sigh. "Ugh, nothing. They were messing with your car. That's all."

He blinks a few times. "You were protecting my fucking car?" His eyes dart around my face as I shrug a little. "What... who gives a fuck about my car?"

I gulp and look straight at him, chewing on my lip. How do I tell him that I didn't want anyone hurting whatever belonged to him? That it triggered a sense of protectiveness in me? It makes no sense. It's stupid.

"I'm sorry." I mumble. "I realize it was stupid."

His features soften and he cups my cheek, brushing his thumb over my skin.

"You had me so worried."

My gaze drifts into the warmth of his eyes, my face leaning into his palm. A small smile pulls on his lips as he presses them against my forehead.

The weight in my arms is released as he grabs the booklets and sets them on the ground. I don't have a moment to process when he stands straight and pulls me into an embrace.

My breath is stuck in my throat and I'm wrapped in a cocoon of his hold.

"Don't do that again. Never over a material thing." He says quietly.

I fist his jacket, pressing my face against his chest. My body softens from his warmth. I close my eyes, feeling so small. Calm for a moment. Safe.

You're so weak. Why are you using him?

Guilt and shame knot my stomach. Tension rises up my spine. My jaw clenches and I shut my eyes tight against the toxic voices.

I can't. I can't stop. I'm so tired.

"Okay? Do you hear me?" He says, brushing his hand over my hair.

I scoot a little closer into him and nod. He kisses the top of my head.

Someone knocks at the door..

"Mia, are you in there? This is Dr. Dennis."

~~ A/N ~~

Sooo, what'd you guys think?

If you liked this chapter, please give it a vote and some love <3