Chapter 34: Special Brownies

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He hadn't meant to really draw blood, the plan was to just feel a different kind of pain. Happiness wasn't achievable. Hell, numbness would have been preferable over the constant ache in his chest. When Kale had slipped the disposable razor into his pocket while his mother stood outside of the bathroom door, it was only supposed to be an experiment. A test to see if he could chase away the pain, no matter how quickly fading it might be. The first day, it was just thin, white lines with faint redness surrounding them. They didn't last but for a few minutes and were barely felt. It didn't work to change the pain.

By Monday afternoon, he had graduated to actual cuts. They weren't lethal and were easily hidden under his shirt, his parents never noticed the small slashes on his chest and upper arms. Kale was thankful for that, it would just be another sin for them to add to his list.

He got over confident of his control, the small razor blade was poised over his heart, the place that hurt the most, and he pressed in deeper than any of the other cuts. Blood slid down his chest, seeping from the 'x' he had carved into his skin. It had worked, brought a sense of relief he hadn't felt in weeks, but the release didn't last long enough. He needed more and deeper. Needed to feel that fleeting sense of escape.

The sound of footsteps outside his bedroom door kept him from attempting another slice. He quickly fumbled with his shirt sitting beside him, tugging it on and ignoring the rush of pain that spread through his hip and the fresh wound on his chest. Later, he could do more later. His fingers slid the razor under his pillow, hiding it for easy access when he needed it again.

His bedroom door crept open, since his confession the previous week, his parents tiptoed around him. Maybe his words had made them realize he wouldn't change just because they disagreed with him. Maybe they were just as finished with him, as he was with them. Kale didn't really question the motives, didn't really question anything, really. Except for his existence.

"Ready for your stretches?" Rita asked while standing in the doorway.

Kale pulled his metal walker in front of him and eased up from his perch on the side of the bed. The motion had his left knee and hip screaming in protest, threatening to give out and drop him to the floor. After he regained muscle control, he began the trek around his bed, the metal walker creaking with each unstable step he took.

They went through his list of stretches, working sore muscles and man made bones, he fought past the fire that burned wildly inside of his body. What he was fighting for, he didn't know, maybe he had some sense of self-preservation after all. Sweat broke out across his forehead and upper lip, a sign that he had to be doing something right. The fresh cut over his heart stung, his t-shirt rubbing against it and mixing sweat into the shallow opening.

His mother helped him through each excersie, quietly praising him and whispering encouragements. It was all she was able to say to him without feeling guilty. Since his confession she hadn't wanted to say or do anything that would cause another, afraid of what he might tell her next. Afraid he would make her examine the actions she and her husband had taken.

They thought they had been doing the right thing, but the haunted look in his eyes when he had said... when he said he wished he had died. Just the thought caused her remorse. The words were hard to digest. Not only did her son miss those people, but being away from them was...

No. She wouldn't admit it, not even to herself. Kaleb would get better, he'd heal and then he would see that there was a reason behind it all, a punishment and redemption for a lost soul. That had to be it, a sign from above to help push him in the right direction. They did the right thing.

She pushed the errant thoughts from her mind, focusing instead on helping her son in a more important way, "One more push Kaleb and we can get you back in bed." The fingers holding his foot against her chest gave him a reassuring squeeze. "You've gotten better with resistance, I actually had to push against you this time."

Kale answered with a grunt, his breath a heavy gust of hot air, his arms and legs fell against the floor as his body deflated. He felt exhausted, like nothing but a puddle of goo, and moving back to the bed was the last thing on his mind. There was no difference between the bed and his floor at this point, his body would still feel like he had fallen into a pool of flaming, broken glass.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Martha Lewis was the typical sweet, old lady next door. She went to church every Sunday and devoted her life before retirement to teaching children. Minus her years serving as a nurse during WWII, where she met and married her now deceased husband, Reggie. What most people didn't know about Martha, was that she had a wild side and loved adventures. When Raven asked her to become a key player in 'Operation: Stolen Heart' she didn't have to think twice. Her answer was immediately, yes.

Her role filled her with an excitement she hadn't felt in years. She was 'Carrier Piegon' and would cross enemy lines to deliever top secret messages to the hostage, all without ever being suspected of foul play.

John and Rita Miller were in for a surprise.

She drove the beast of a car she had had for twenty years, grumbling and grinding her way to her mission's target. They just didn't make cars like hers anymore. She could barrel through traffic and intimidate all the smart cars, threatening their plastic bodies with her metal monstrosity. That or people just feared a collision with the puffy haired old lady that could barely see over the wheel.

Either way, her paths through town were always clear. She pulled her miniature tank to the curb and an excited cackle echoed through the vehicle. This was going to be fun! She grabbed her extra large purse and fought to drag the heavy thing over the seat, she hooked the strap over her shoulder, and exited the car. But not before grabbing the special brownies she made for Kale's parents.

Bright, white velcro sneakers met pavement and she was off.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The knock on her front door had Rita gritting her teeth, she was sick and tired of Raven constantly showing up and demanding to see her son. After his excersises she had waited to help him get back on the bed, sticking around only long enough to make sure he didn't need anything else. Not that he would actually ask, he was less responsive to her than he had been before his outburst.

Knuckles connecting with wood echoed through the house, a constant tap-tap that demanded attention. That girl just wasn't giving up, with a curse under her breath Rita marched to the door and swung it open. The small lady standing on the other side caught her off guard, her anger dissipated and was replaced with a kind smile.

"Can I help you," she asked in a voice that people reserved for the elderly.

The little lady, smiled back and laid on the charm. "Yes, you can dearie. Does Kale Miller live here?"

Rita frowned and looked behind the woman, checking to see if she was being set up. Raven had to be standing nearby, waiting for her to be distracted. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she refocused on the stranger. "Uh, yes he does."

"Oh wonderful! How is doing? I heard about the poor thing's accident and had to come and see if he was alright."

"He's doing well." Still leary of the surprise guest, she had to ask, "How do you know my son?"

"Oh heavens me, look at me being so rude. I'm Martha Lewis, I'm a regular at Bishop's. Your son is one of my most favorite people in the world. Always so sweet and well mannered. When I heard he was hurt, I just had to come check on him. Is he up for visitors?"

Rita saw no harm in the little, old lady, so she stepped aside and welcomed her into her home. It might help improve Kaleb's mood if he was able to visit with acceptable acquaintances. She led Martha up the stairs to where her son was resting.

She opened the bedroom door and sighed, his desolate attitude was no better than it had been the last time she checked on him. He was sitting up on the edge of the bed, his back to the door, with his head bent down and examining his clenched hands. His metal walker lying on it's side just out of reaching distance.

"Son, you have a visitor." she said in a forced cheery tone.

Kale's shoulders rose and fell, his attention never leaving his hands. He didn't care. It wouldn't be who he wanted to see, so why bother?

"Kaleb, Mrs. Lewis came to see how you are, wasn't that so kind of her."

Kale turned too quickly and scrunched his face up in pain, the surprise guest made him forget that he wasn't as bendable as he once was. Mrs. Lewis walked around the bed and sent him her signature smile, the one that always told him she was up to no good. He couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face and the joy that her presence brought him.

"Oh, I almost forgot. These are for you, my famous homemade brownies." There went that spark of trouble again, she looked too excited when Rita took the plastic container and popped the lid open.

"Thank you. We'll have to eat these after dinner. I'll just go take these downstairs." Rita breathed a sigh of relief, glad to finally see her son smile once again. Yes, this was going to be a very good visit.

Mrs. Lewis waited for Kale's mother to excuse herself from the room, when the moment came, she slung her bag on the bed and pulled out a sleek, black laptop. Kale's eyes widened with disbelief. His laptop! She brought him a connection to the outside world. Thank you sweet baby Jesus in the manger!

But.

That couldn't be his. The last place he had used his was at Aiden and Reegan's, there was no way Mrs. Lewis had been able to get her hands on it. The irreplaceable saddness that came with their names, wormed it's way back to the surface and his happy feeling left him.

"What's wrong, Sugar Baby? We thought you would be happy to see this contraption."

He couldn't miss the plural. "We?"

"Yes, we. Right now I am on a top secret mission. I can't spare any details, but I was told to deliever this," she tapped the laptop and then dug around in her bag once more. A black, cotton t-shirt was laid in Kale's lap, white letters spelling out the band's name demanded his attention. 'Faith No More'. "And to tell you, see you tomorrow, Shorty."

No. Don't hope, Kale, don't get your hopes up.

He could only stare at the items she had brought him, too worried that if he let himself believe or looked into her eyes, that she would disappear and it would all be some sick fantasy his mind had created.

"Oh, and also, Raven says to tell you to... Oh, shoot. I forgot what she said. Hold on a minute." Her wrinkled finger tapped the end of her nose in concentration while Kale waited for her to remember. "Oh, yes. She says to tell you, "Be prepared."

"For what?" Excitement coursed through him, he didn't want to believe, didn't want to hope, but his body wasn't getting the message his brain was sending.

Mrs. Lewis laughed loudly, "That I can't tell you, Sugar, but if I were you, I would take her advice."

"Mrs. Lewis, how did you get this stuff?" he asked while winding the soft cotton t-shirt between his fingers. Reegan had been the last person to wear the shirt and it still smelled of her raspberry body spray.

"I can't tell you that either," she started, when his face fell, she rubbed his leg and added, "there are a few people planning something big for you, Sugar."

"They haven't forgotten about me?" His words were whispered more to the t-shirt than to the woman sitting beside him.

"Good gracious no!"

If she was part of some mission, she was missing very important details. Like the fact that since he had woken up in the hospital, he hadn't heard a single word from them. Or that he had spent two weeks at home without an appearance from Raven. He wanted to mention those obvious reasons, but the sparkle he saw in her eyes stopped him. Whatever was going on, she was enjoying her part in it. He didn't want to rain on her parade, so he said nothing.

A small, wrinkled hand found his and held tight, lending him a silent strength and comfort he desperately needed. "They never prepare you for love. Never tell you that it can drive a person crazy. You also aren't warned about what will happen when you lose that love. I wasn't prepared when my Reggie left me, I don't think I would have been even if I had been told the exact time and day. Love can drive a person insane, and right now, I know two people that are close to the need to be commited."

Without thought, Kale rubbed at the ache in his chest, forgetting about the earlier slice and dice number he had done. The pressure of his hand and the grate of the material intensified the pain. The different kind of pain he was wanting to achieve rushed through his chest traveling up his arms, and tingling his fingers. Was he going insane? Absolutely.

"I only loved one person. I can't imagine how maddening it would have been to lose two people that meant as much to me as Reggie did."

"How can you be so easy with this? Hold my hand like I'm not some deranged demon spawn? Why aren't you preaching about how wrong I am and that I am going to hell for my choices?"

"Because love is love. You don't get a choice in it, when it picks you, you either go with it or against it. You can't control who it picks, either. Some people go their entire lives wanting to get a taste, but never do. Why condemn those that are able to find it?"

Damn old lady. How come she could understand it, but his parents couldn't?

"You just need to be ready for tomorrow. I'd advise you not to eat a single one of those brownies. I made them special for your parents." Kale quirked his eyebrow and was about to ask why, but she beat him to it. "Don't you find it funny that laxatives come in chocolate flavor?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'See you tomorrow, Shorty.' He heard it in Aiden's voice, not Mrs. Lewis'. The single statement carried him through the evening. Through the awkward and silent dinner he had with his mother in his bedroom, where he repeatedly refused to even try a brownie.

Through another round of exercises that left him feeling lifeless.

On the outside he appeared no different than before his visitor. On the inside, everything had changed. Hope. Even though he didn't want it to be there, he couldn't fight it away.

He couldn't sleep, curiousity over what tomorrow would bring, kept him from slipping into a disgruntled slumber.

'See you tomorrow, Shorty.'

The scent of raspberries filled his nose, bringing memories back of Reegan sitting in her room wearing nothing but his Faith No More tee. Even shoved between the mattress and the wall, he could still smell her.

He had hidden the gifts Mrs. Lewis had brought, knowing his mother and father would flip out if they knew about them. The laptop beckoned him, calling his name out and demanding he open it and put it to use. What would it hurt? He could do a quick check, see what he had missed in the month and a half he had been gone.

He held his breath and listened to the sounds around him. All that he heard was the sound of a quiet house. It was all clear.

Nervous excitement coursed through his body when the familiar homescreen for CuffMe popped up. Even more so when he saw the number of messages he had waiting for him. Fear of what he might read kept him from automatically opening his inbox. Would there be a 'let's just be friends' message waiting for him? Or worse?

"Check it later," he whispered into the dark and quiet room.

Instead he checked his feed, where there was nothing new. The lastest activity was from three weeks ago and was only a status update. For TheBeast&TheHarlot.

'It's harder every day, I can't chase this pain away. Until you're here again, I'll always be thinking of my favorite Syn.'

Ahh fuck. He was a moron. A straight up dumbass. No calls? Kinda hard to get a phone call when your phone wasn't in your possession. No visits? Like he could get up and answer a door on his own. The connection clicked and everything made total sense, the solitude, staying upstairs, everything. He was being manipulated. And like the insecure dipshit that he was, he went right along with the manipulation, never stopping to think that maybe, just maybe, his parents might be evil enough to pull it off. If they were capable of kidnap, they were capable of fucking with his mind.

His finger hovered over the mouse pad, ready for him to tap the new messages icon. Realisation that he was so fucking close to Aiden and Reegan at the moment brought his finger down and made contact. The screen changed and he was flodded with messages from Raven -whose username had changed to some weird reference to a bug- and his odd couple.

Each message killed him. Every line, every word, made him feel so guilty that he had ever questioned any of them. Raven, in her ranting way, loved him. Aiden and Reegan...were so far fucking gone, that it was a tie over who missed who more. Damn, it felt like he was the biggest moron on the planet.

He didn't respond to each message, instead he chose the two most recent, both sent the day after he was released from the hospital, with promises that they would find a way around his parents to see him.

'See you tomorrow, Shorty.' Damn right you will, Aiden, he thought to himself with a smile. And tomorrow couldn't come fast enough for him. There was no way he could sleep the hours away, not after his discovery.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nine Inch Nails sang out to Reegan, putting words to her emotions, lulling her into a void where thoughts were easier to cope with. Kale. If things went according to plan, she would be able to wrap her arms around him and hold onto him forever. How could Aiden sleep with the promise of seeing that dark hair, those blue eyes, that pair of lips decorated with a sexy hoop? Hearing his voice and feeling grounded, finally, after being adrift for too long.

Lights blazed in her bubblegum pink sanctuary. Her laptop's wallpaper teased her. Kale's shy smile peeking out at her while Aiden's teeth were on his ear, both faces flushed and euphoric, a picture she had taken one morning after they had destroyed the bed and twin cases of morning wood.

A minimized window on her task bar flashed, diverting her attention from Kale's eyes. She debated on pulling up the screen, not wanting to hide the picture, she lightly kissed her fingers and placed them against Kale's lips, and maximized the window for CuffMe.

One new message from Synthetic_Darkness.

"Aiden!" She flew off the bed, her laptop hugged tightly against her chest, and booked it to where Aiden was passed out in bed. "Aiden! Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeup!"

She bounced and pushed and screamed his name, until he groaned into his pillow and wrapped an arm around her leg. Yanking her off of him and pushing her down onto the mattress.

"Sleep. Now." He grumbled into the pillow.

"Not a chance. You, wake. Now."

"Doll. Sleep."

"No caveman, you need to wake up."

Aiden growled again, warning her to shut her mouth and do what he said, but it was Reegan, and she was annoying, and she said the word that had his eyes popping open and sitting up to stare at her.

"Kale."

"What

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