Chapter 14: Reegan Is Transparent

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The next morning Reegan was lethargic. Aiden had been called the previous evening and had to go to an emergency staff meeting that morning. He wouldn't be gone all day, but he was unsure of when he would be home. She had an unknown amount of time to build up a good brood. She did a few chores around the house and set on the couch. The TV was on, but if asked, she couldn't tell anyone what was she had just watched. It was background noise, plain and simple. Her mind was caught up in the events of the previous day. After Kale's blow off, she drove around aimlessly. Coming home before Aiden would worry. He took one look at her and knew there was something wrong. She replayed what happened and he just hugged her. Their plans of visiting friends over the weekend were cancelled. Instead, they spent the rest of the evening cuddled on the couch. A calming quiet enveloping them and settling her nerves.

The now empty house was depressing. She wished Aiden would hurry home. Without him there, her mind was becoming her enemy. Spiraling thoughts spinning out of control and dragging her down. She had to stop their direction and getting lost in mind numbing television shows was not working. Aiden's laptop sat on the coffee table. Why not try get lost on the interwebs? She scooted the coffee table close and propped her feet up and powered up.

After checking various social networking sites, she logged on to C.M. and saw she had quite a few messages waiting for her and Aiden. The message from Syn made her hopeful. He was such a sweetheart. The other messages could wait until she was in a better mindset. Faking enthusiasm was extremely hard when she was on a downward spiral.

She clicked on his message and saw that it had been sent early that morning. Poor thing, sounded like his night must have been a bad one too. She read through his meassage several times. Tears welling in her eyes.

"You know, like when you were a kid and all your favorite movies seemed so magical. You believed. There was no way it was just special effects, it was real. All of it. But now that you're older, you watch those movies and you notice that it was just special effects. There might have been magic, but that magic was inside of you. And some how, some way, it just got lost. That's what I think of when I become disenchanted with...life. Like I've lost that magic. That ability to see with eyes full of wonder. With an unwavering belief that magic does exist and there will always be something to smile about."

How beautifully tragic. For someone so much younger than her, he had sumed it up perfectly.

Life sucked when you lost the magic.

It was one of the reasons she loved Aiden so much. He gave her the chance to get the magic back. Damn this kid was good. Even when they were just shooting the shit he was sincere. He needed more people in his life that supported and encouraged him. A little patience wouldn't hurt either. He reminded her of a certain Bishop's employee. Kale needed encouragement as well. Good thing he had such a good friend like Raven. Reegan hadn't hung around with her much, but when she was with Kale, she seemed to mother-hen him. He was still shy, even after all her visits visits to the store.

When they first met, Reegan just knew she would be able to get him to meet up with her and Aiden outside of the store. No such luck. He would revert into himself and put distance between them. Like it was the first time she was in the store. Yesterday's episode flashed through her mind. Her heart ached. There was more distance between them now. She had no idea what she had done, but it was obvious he no longer enjoyed her and Aiden's visits. Time to stop being a nuisance, she told herself. She would miss him. Or at least the him he allowed her to know.

Three months. And all she knew about him was that he and Raven had been best friends since Kindergarten, he loved his parents, and what types of movies, music, and books he liked. Which was a bit, but she wanted to know more. The boring stuff. The sad stuff. The things that kept him up at night. What his favorite memory was. Just all the things that...oh, shit.

She wanted to know the things that girlfriends knew.

When did her fascination with him switch and become more? The question scared her. In all the years her and Aiden had been playing with other people, she never once wanted to know them on a more intimate level. It was for fun. Scening with others, that was a kink. A fetish. There might have been friendship first, but it never went further than that. The lines were drawn and boundries were never crossed. And now, a shy, clumsy salesboy comes along and makes Reegan think past those lines.

She blew out a breath and tried to derail her train of thought. Looked like her and Aiden would be having a long talk when he got home. Pushing her focus back to her message, she read it again and typed out a response. It might have been brisk and distracted, but her thoughts were not on Syn. They were on Kale. And Aiden. And the mess she was in. She shut down the laptop and went in search of her phone. She had to text Aiden.

After thirty minutes of looking, she found it in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Huh, when did she open that today?

With her phone in hand she death marched to the bedroom.

*Beastly*

I'm in trouble. We need to talk when you get home.

She sent the message and fell face first into the soft bed. The black velevt comforter tickled her cheek as she turned her head. What were they going to do? She figured she wouldn't hear back from Aiden for a while. She would have time to line her thoughts up. Clear her head and figure out what she wanted to say to him. The guitar infused chorus of Avenged Sevenfold's Beast and The Harlot broke the silence of the room. No, she thought to herself. No, not yet, I'm not ready to admit it.

*Beastly*

What's wrong, my Little Doll?

She read the text and thought, only everything. The conversation had to wait until he got home. It had to. She typed out a quick response.

*Beastly*

Nothing that can't wait. Love you oodles and gobs.

The phone vibrated and sang to her. His response was short and ended with his signature, 'mustard seed.' She puffed out a deep breath and her bangs flipped up. Time to put on her big girl panties. And to drink a cup of coffee. Everything always made more sense with coffee.

She passed the remainder of her afternoon writing in her journal and fixing her favorite comfort food. The sound of Aiden's keys in the door pulled her eyes from the pen marked page. Right, time for the dreaded confession. She knew Aiden loved her, but she didn't know how he would react to her revelation. They had never dealt with anything like that before. With resignation she strode to the front door to welcome him home. The afternoon was not going to be one of her best.

Aiden watched as Reegan walked to him. There was fear buring brightly in her dark eyes. The sight worried him. It wasn't a look he had seen in years. Not since they had first met. After a so-called "Dom" had violated her in every way possible. Aiden had taken her under his wing and they had slowly built her back up. The rememberance tore him up on the inside. Whatever it was she had done or had happened, they would fix it.

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, lifted her up, and carried her to the kitchen. As gently as he could, he sat her down in her spot and kissed her forehead. Tears leaked out of her eyes and trailed down her face. A weak smile tweaked one side of her mouth up and then dropped. He brought her hands up and placed soft kisses on each one. Then turned to the coffee counter and started brewing a fresh pot. Lord knew she had probably down several pots already, but it would help to calm her down.

"Doll, you know, whatever is wrong, you can tell me." She barely moved her head in a nod before shaking sobs took over.

"I'll stand back here. You just start talking when you feel ready."

A snorted, okay, was barely heard over the gurgling coffee pot. The silence afterward stretched on. When he thought she would never start talking, she whispered, "I have a confession."

Aiden continued to wait. He knew to give her time and space.

"I got a message from Syn. Something happened and he's upset."

Aiden became confused, why would she be this distraught over him being upset? He remained quiet and waited for her to work out what she wanted to say. The coffee pot did it's final wheeze indicating it was ready to go. He pulled two mugs down and made them both a cup. He brought both to the table and sat down beside her. And waited some more.

"It made me think of Kale." Another weak smile pointed in his direction. "I realized why yesterday bothered me so much."

Something clicked in his head and he kept the smile to himself and slowly nodded at her to continue.

"I don't know what happened, Aiden. I really don't. At first it was just, not a game, but I wanted to play with him. For us, that's not unusual." She traced the rim of her cup with a shakey finger. "But, it's. God this hurts. I don't want you to hate me."

"You have more than a crush on him?" her head nodded as she covered her face with her hands. "There's more, isn't there?"

She breathed out a yes.

"You want a relationship beyond just friends and possible playtime." That statement did her in. Her head shot up and she stared into his eyes.

"You knew?" Reegan asked, her muffled voice filled with shock. She had barely even gotten her thoughts and feelings out. In typical Aiden fashion, he sat and listened through the whole drawn out confession. Letting her talk her thoughts out and before she could finish, he knew exactly what was going on.

"How did you know?"

"Doll, how long have I known you? Twelve years, right?"

Reegan just nodded. She was tired of talking. Tired of thinking, really.

"In all those years, I have learned your moods and behaviors."

Shrug.

Aiden laughed and grabbed her hands. His hands held hers tightly, a loving and soothing embrace. Their eyes locked on one another's.

"Babes, I knew because I know you. You might be able to hide your emotions from everyone. But not me."

"Are you mad?"

"Do I act like it? Baby, I've known almost as long as we've lived here. I'm not mad, I promise."

"What do I do, Daddy Man? I can't go back there. Not now. Not with this, this realization."

"You don't have too, but I think the boy would miss you coming in and dragging him around the entire store."

Reegan let out a groan and lightly knocked her head against the table top. What. A. Mess. She didn't think she could show her face in the store. Seeing Kale and knowing that he had opened up a part of herself she didn't know she had. She just couldn't face him. He would never know about it and would forget about her. It wasn't like she was that unforgettable. He had already proved he wasn't interested anymore. She could start going to Barnes and Noble. Forget she had ever felt anything about him. Aiden's firm grasp pulled he out of her spinning thoughts.

"Doll, aren't you forgetting something?"

She looked up and into his brilliant green eyes. Slowly she shook her head back and forth.

"You're supposed to ask, 'what are your thoughts on him, Daddy Man?'"

She cleared her throat and meekly repeated his question.

"I find myself, like usual, right in line with you. He's wormed his way in, a lot like you did. I find myself thinking about him randomly throughout the day. He brings out a desire to nurture and protect. But also, an almost animalistic urge to tie him up and have my way with him. Like a certain handful I know."

Reegan's heart fluttered. Aiden didn't feel that way about many women, let alone men. His admission blew her away. He wasn't strictly straight, but he rarely found a man he thought was attractive. Picky was too lenient a word to compare to how selective Aiden was. But that meant, if Aiden felt that way...it would be okay. But, wait, Kale probably wasn't into men. Her already small hope shriveled away into nothingness. Her shoulders slumped and her lips turned into a pout. Aiden released her hands and cradled her chin in his hand. He leveled her face with his and spoke to her without breaking eye contact.

"Doll, do you want to try it? Maybe adding a third person into our weirdness? For more than just play?"

She released a deep breath and nodded.

"Know what that means?"

Small shake of her head.

"Doll, you need to talk to his best friend. Talk to Raven. Make friends. Ask about some of the things Kale won't talk about when you are around him. She might even be able to explain what was wrong yesterday."

"But what if it just...I don't know, grosses her out? Or pisses her off. Aiden, she is so protective of him. And what about this is normal? It's not a common practice with married people. Aiden, she'll think we're complete nut jobs." her words ended on a whine.

"Doll, just ask her out for coffee and girl talk. I know how you can slip in the freaky stuff into normal conversations. Drop hints, see what she thinks. If it sounds like he would be receptive, we can visit the store together. And next time, he won't refuse a dinner out with us."

Reegan lifted one side of her mouth, the small smile slowly spread across her entire mouth. She would do it. The next time she went to the store, she would hunt Raven down and invite her over for coffee and small talk. First, she really needed to re-message Syn and apologize for her half-hearted response earlier in the day. Just like always, Aiden helped her find her magic.

Thirty minutes later, she was parked in the Barnes and Noble parking lot. Her phone smashed to her ear, the hand holding it shaking uncontrollably. When someone picked up, she asked for Raven before she could chicken out. Their conversation was short, but Raven had agreed to come by for a visit. She had sounded shocked, but also a tad curious. Reegan was still trembling when she hung up. She knew she had just done the easy part. Tomorrow was going to be pure hell.

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