It was the day before graduation.

The days had flown by quickly, and now Kenneth had James staying over at his place. James' apartment was now empty, and he was packed and ready to leave for his flight the day after graduation. The redhead had asked Kenneth if he could stay with him for the next few days, and Ken had agreed to the arrangement.

If Kenneth had to lit out the good and bad things that had come out from the brief living arrangement, they were; the good: James was here with him for the last few days before he traveled off to France, and the bad: Kenneth had to clean up more than he had ever had to in other to impress James and leave a bad impression on him.

"What are you doing?" The sound of James' voice brought Kenneth out of his thoughts. He muttered 'nothing' under his breath before backing away from the fridge he had been standing in front of. Like most apartments rented by students, the place was small and tight. The kitchen and sitting area existed in the same room, and the appliances were so close that any number of people more than one would have a hard time squeezing around.

Kenneth had spaced out, and he didn't even remember when he had walked over to the kitchen area. James rolled his eyes at the man before walking forward and opening the fridge. He took out a can of soft drink before closing the fridge and opening the drink. The two stood there in silence as James sipped at his drink and stared on at Kenneth's fidgeting form.

"Honestly, is something wrong? You look dazed," James pointed out after a while as he rose a brow at Kenneth's odd composure. The dark-haired man shook his head before staring at the floor and letting out a sigh.

"I need... I'm not sure..." Kenneth trailed, making James' concerned look morph into a confused one. Of course. Kenneth thought as he apologized under his breath. His words weren't making any sense. He had just blurted them out subconsciously because they had been swimming in his mind. He regretted it because now James was giving him a funny look.

"Sorry," he said again, tucking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. It was late in the evening, and the two had been talking in the living room before Kenneth had wandered away in the middle of the conversation. "I was just... thinking out loud," Kenneth said the last part slowly and with care. He looked into James' deep green eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in James' head. James had to know what was bothering him, right? They were graduating tomorrow, and their relationship was still stagnant. How could James not know that was what bothered him?

Kenneth bit down on his lip before stepping to the side and squeezing past James. He realized he couldn't keep it together with James looking at him. It just made him uncomfortable and nervous.

"What is wrong with you?" James asked as Kenneth took a seat on the living room's sofa. Kenneth shrugged, refusing to say anything. His throat felt clogged, and his mind felt stuffed. He was trying to keep his emotions in check, but it was proving difficult. He had thought that it wouldn't be a big deal to let James stay over, and for a long time, it wasn't, but now that this travel date was getting closer, Kenneth had short bursts of panic and worry.

Kenneth heard James sigh in the background. He listened in to the man's footsteps as he approached him, and soon the space beside him on the sofa sunk with James' weight.

"Kenneth," James said under his breath as he leaned forward, bending a bit so that he could look at Kenneth in the eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked, reaching to touch the man's thigh. Kenneth's gaze moved to him at his action. His dark eyes seemed to be clouded with confusion and hope. His gaze made James' face burn up, but James didn't let go. Instead, James rubbed his thumb on Kenneth's thigh in slow circles. The two stared at each other, and the room went silent aside from the noise coming from the moving fan above.

"Wait," Kenneth gasped, realizing what James was doing when the man's hand moved further up. "Wait, I—" he repeated, and James stopped, giving Kenneth a confused frown.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" James asked, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Isn't that why you're moody?" The red head's face was burning, and he was jumping into defense mood as his mind came up with millions of theories as to why Kenneth asked him to stop. Did Kenneth change his mind? Did he read the mood wrongly? Did he not like it? The questions were swimming in James' head, and Kenneth could read the underlying worry in his face and body language.

"James—" Kenneth said before pausing. He cursed under his breath, running a hand through his hair before covering his face and sighing. "Of course. Of course," he repeated, not making any sense. He had a lot to say, but many of the ways he could say what he wanted to wouldn't make any sense. The words got jumbled in his mouth, and they refused to work together to make a proper sentence. He groaned in frustration, pushing his hair back again before looking over at James. The two of them stared at each other, both aware of the embarrassment and confusion the other felt. There was a huge communication barrier between them, and if they didn't get rid of it now, they might never have the chance to in the future.

"James," Kenneth started saying, sitting up straight as he began to fidget with his fingers. "I'm in love with you, and maybe it's selfish for me to keep pressing on about it, but I want things to be clear—" he paused, looking at James' blank look.

"Are we doing this?" he asked, gesturing to them both before giving James a nervous smile. "Are we going to make this work or not?" he asked, licking his lips. "This relationship, do you want it or are we wasting our time?" James looked down at his feet when he heard Kenneth's last question. He knew this confrontation would come sooner or later, but there had been a part of him that wished Kenneth would give him more time to think.

You never did anything with the time. You just pushed distressing thoughts to the back of your mind. A voice in James' head said, and he bit his lip at the realization. He looked away from his feet to cast his gaze at Kenneth. His heartbeat quickened. It always did that when he looked at the saxophonist now. There was no doubt the emotions were there and mutual, he was just afraid.

"Y-yes," he blurted out without much thought. His voice was small and cracked, and he started panicking immediately he said the word. It was too late, he couldn't take it back now, so he swallowed his fear and made himself clearer. "Yes, I want us to make it work."

Kenneth seemed not to believe what he had heard at first. He stayed silent for a bit, but then a smile broke through his lips when he realized that he had indeed heard right. He scooted closer to James, leaning forward before engulfing the man in a hug.

"Thank you," he mumbled into the red head's shoulder as he ran a hand through the man's wavy head of hair. "You won't regret it. I'll treat you right. I love you," Kenneth muttered. James said silent, letting the man kiss his jaw and cheeks. He let the man caress his face before pulling him into a deep open-mouth kiss. The kiss made him shiver. It felt frightening—scary. He couldn't help feeling naked and venerable. The realization that this was happening—that they were deciding to be a couple—was overwhelming.

He had given in, and he just hoped Kenneth wouldn't break his heart.

He loved the man.

It hurt so much to love someone, and he was afraid.