I had skipped my midnight snack time with my dad for only the second time since my mom passed away when I wasn't away at school.  The first time was due to me staying in the hospital overnight after I'd suffered a concussion after passing out on our basketball court at home.  Cause of concussion?  Ball to the head.  It was a wonder I didn't boycott the entire sport altogether, the danger magnet I was. 

Maybe Eli was right- I was a ball chaser, just not in the way he had been implying. 

The extra sleep I'd earned did nothing to assuage my tiredness, considering the nightmare I'd had that had taken up all of my energy to begin with.  I could still hear the screams and groans of the metal in my head, the crunch of car upon car, the iris searing lights ingrained in the back of my mind like I'd never be able to forget them...

My father was rolled up to the kitchen table, clear eyed and slurping down milk leftover from his cereal when he spotted me. 

"I know, I know.  I'm sorry, I was exhausted and ended up passing out before midnight."

"You really had me worried.  I would have gone in to check on you if I hadn't heard you snoring loudly from outside the door."

I squinted my eyes in a faux glare, saying, "I do not snore."

He guffawed a deep belly laugh which brought a smile upon my face and motioned for me to join him for breakfast.  

It was eerily silent while I tried to come up with what to ask him, but I was terrified that someone would be listening on the other side of the swinging doors that led to the dining room, just like the night before.  Thankfully, my dad broke the silence first. 

"I'm sorry about Jared and Sara last night.  I told Kara that allowing Sara and Jared stay the night together here after the history between you two wasn't a good idea, and that I didn't approve, but at the end of the day this house is just as much hers as it is ours.  The way she parents her child isn't up to me."

Oh.  So he was going that direction.  In all honesty, I'd completely forgotten about that drama with my ex and my cousin, even as the devils themselves strolled hand in hand into the kitchen, hair rumpled from sleep and her draped in his clothing. 

Why did Jared even spend the night again?  This wasn't his house.  I folded my arms across myself, mad that I hadn't thrown on a sweatshirt over my tank top that I'd had on the night before, when Eli had seen me...

Holy shit.  He had seen me in this tank top, the one where my boobs were basically a flashing red sign that said, "BOOBS!  I HAVE BIG BOOBS!"

I shook my head as I shoved down the unfairness of the entire situation. 

"No, I don't care about that, I wanted to talk to you about...Eli.  Why are you coaching him again? And why is he staying here?  I'm telling you, that guy is-"

"I'm going to stop you right there, sweetheart.  I know that you two don't really see eye to eye, but his talent is more than promising.  If I can get him to start thinking about actually being part of a team and not just thinking of the game as a single person sport, then I think he has a real shot at being one of the greats.  He will be staying here at the guest house every other weekend, and when those weekends roll around, I expect you to ride here with him, without argument."

My eyes almost bugged out of my head. 

"And just leave my car at school, with no way to escape?"

Sara and Jared took their seats at the table with their cereal, acting like they weren't paying attention to their conversation but it was obvious that they were enthralled.  My father and I hardly fought, so this was entertainment for them. 

"Escape?  Why would you need to escape your own home?"

"Oh, I don't know, there's going to be an arrogant, asshole basketball player in my own home, spying on me and calling me a groupie!"

"It didn't seem like you two hated each other all that much last night..." Sara trailed off and I whipped my head around to her, letting her know that I'd heard every word she'd tried to say under her breath.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing.  I just saw you two in your room last night and-"

"You were alone in your room last night?  So that's why you didn't come down last night then?"  My dad looked visibly hurt.  And angry...

"Oh my god, no.  I was recording in my room and I heard a noise.  I turned around and he was just standing there, spying on me.  So I got up and was about to say something to him but I decided to just slam the door in his face instead."

How could I have said that singing that song, the song that connected so viscerally and painfully with my soul, had zapped every single ounce of energy from my body forcing me to lay down early?  How could I have explained that I spent the rest of my night crying myself to sleep while images from the car wreck invaded my brain, when I so obviously should've been over it at that point? 

It had been seven years, surely the nightmares should've subsided sooner or later, right?  You would think so.  But mine didn't, I just got better at hiding them. 

"Oh, so that's why he left so early.  We were going to go over some drills before he left to visit his family, but he texted and said he left out early.  He must have realized that he'd crossed your boundaries and didn't want to overstep."

"Really, dad?  I doubt your 'golden boy' was just being considerate.  He invaded my privacy!  I don't like that you're coaching him.  He gave me a bad vibe at school, and now..."

"He didn't seem like such a bad guy when he saved you from tripping last night at dinner."

My cheeks burned, both from embarrassment and anger.

"Look," I began, "all I'm saying is that you should be careful with this one, dad, that's all.  I love you, I'm going to go get ready.  I have a gig this afternoon about thirty minutes from here.  Yet another reason I should have my own car here on the weekends that what's his name is here."

"Non negotiable, Virginia.  And his name is Eli," my dad called after me as I stormed out of the room, Sara snickering at the situation, like she thought it was funny that I was 'in trouble' with my dad.  

It wasn't like she was every punished.  The girl was allowed to have her boyfriend stay the night with he, she didn't know what it meant to have a strict parent.  If we had a big enough of a falling out, I wouldn't be able to pay for college.  I prayed it didn't come to that, but with the way we had been butting heads lately, it was hard not to see it playing out that way. 

I needed more shifts at my job, needed to start saving up big time, and needed to start looking for roommates for next semester.  Or maybe I would even start looking to apply to the New York Conservatory for the Performing Arts.  If I saved up enough and got a job, maybe that scholarship would still be available the following school year.  I hated to leave my father, but his controlling ways were getting to be too much for me to handle.  

He had Kara, and he would be okay...

My phone buzzed in my sweatpants pocket. 

Jared: Hey, are you okay?  Can we talk?

Wow, that was unexpected.  I continued the walk upstairs to my room to get ready for my band's afternoon show, we were the opening act for a festival in Miami.  We were option number three for the event coordinators considering their first two choices before us dropped out, but we planned to show them that we were going to be their first choice from then on. 

Me:  I'm fine.  We can talk if you want to, what's up?

Jared:  No I mean like in person, not over text.  Can I come up to your room?

Me:  I'm getting ready for a performance, now's not a good time for that.  What's wrong?

Jared:  Nothing's wrong, Sara's just being really clingy, lol.  You were never like that...

Why did I immediately start to realize what this was about even before he typed out the words?  This was not going to happen that way, not in a million years.

Leo, our lead guitarist for our band's name showed up calling me on my phone and I had to ignore that text from Jared to answer. 

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing, I was just making sure you were singing lead with me and going up on the harmony for our cover of 'The Night We Met'."

"Oh, yeah.  I don't know if we should do that song, it's way too slow.  This is going to be a festival crowd.  I think we should go to our other setlist for this show."

"Okay, I'll let Hazel and Bea know.  Do you need a ride?"

"No, I'm good.  I'll see you in thirty minutes.  We're going to be amazing."

"I hope so.  Hey, bring your keyboard and your wireless mic, okay?"

"Will do."

We hung up and as I prepared to leave and gathered up my stuff, I completely forgot about Jared.  How funny that only a few days prior I would've been relishing in the fact that he was already growing bored with the girl that he'd chosen over me, and yet in that moment all I felt was...indifference?   

Whatever it was, I couldn't miss Jared's inquiring and prying eyes as he watched me struggle to haul my equipment from the second down to the first floor from the bottom of the staircase, not once offering to help even as I almost dropped my keyboard down the steps. 

"Need any help, cuz?"

Oh, that was probably why. 

"No thanks Sara, I'm good."

Ignoring my strange relationship with my cousin, the door was opened for me and I was about to say my thanks, until I realized the person standing behind the door was the last one I wanted to see. 

"Eli."