Mr. Tickles

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

Author's Note:

This is the second half of today's double update. Don't miss the previous chapter!

Love,

K. xx

***

Tom Hiddleston was back. But this time Tina was clever and wasn't going to fall for this trick of her imagination. Obviously there was no Tom Hiddleston in her bed. Firstly, judging by his pictures, he'd feel much smoother. Also - and it was probably pretty easy to research online, some fanperson would definitely comment on it somewhere - he probably didn't have this mental body temperature. And he didn't smell like that, all citrusy and like sunlight and cuddles and an endlessly rewarding morning quickie. No, Tina knew better this time! It was definitely Mr. Tickles the Teddy Bear she was nuzzling and snuggling.

"Clementine..."

Oh what a manly voice you have, Mr. Tickles. And to think of it, your brain is made of cotton. This shows you how little a male needs to be a pleasurable company!

"Clementine..."

Why is he moving away? Clementine gathered a handful of Mr. Tickle's fur, gently clawed at him a bit, and buried her face into his chest.

"It's alright," she muttered. "I'm just sleepwalking again."

"Clementine." Mr. Tickles' voice was growing panicked. "You need to go back to your bed."

"I don't want to," Clementine answered and let her hand slow down on Mr. Tickles' flat furry stomach - is he doing crunches in his free time? - and under his tee. Where did the tee come from?!

"Bugger," said Mr. Tickles in an exasperated tone. "What am I supposed to do?"

Tina was too warm and comfortable to answer, so she just sighed contently.

"Alright, then I'll take you back there."

He sounded somewhat muffled now, Tina was probably drifting deeper into slow-wave sleep. Then the sensation of flying came, but it was quite alright as well, since she felt safe and warm, safely supported by his manly bear paws. But then she was back in her bed... and alone! She felt cold and tried to wrap in her duvet tighter. An unpleasant dream fragment came, some distorted memory of August telling her she wasn't putting enough effort into 'making herself attractive to him' - and Tina moaned and tossed. Some other nasty memories resurfaced - she had plenty of those when it came to any sort of romantic relationship... and then suddenly she was back in the blissful cloud of Mr. Tickles' smell and warmth.

"Blimey, why are you here again?" Mr. Tickles exclaimed.

"Don't kick me out," she muttered and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Clementine, you're asleep... and this– this doesn't count as consent."

She could feel him carefully trying to pry her arms from around him.

"I consent," she murmured.

"I don't!" Mr. Tickles sounded almost in pain now. "I mean, I don't mind... but you're asleep! Wait– Are you actually asleep? Or are you just going to have fun again, and pretend you don't remember this either?!"

"Don't be a grump." Tina patted his chest. "Go to sleep."

"Bugger," he said again.

Apparently, she hadn't convinced the ridiculous bear, so she once again felt she was floating, and here she was back in her bed. This time the dreams came much faster - and she rolled off the bed and plodded to the lounge. Is it her lounge? It sort of looks like Burton's Wonderland, with all these cinnamon roll trees and candy floss clouds. Mmm, smells like vanilla as well!

"You know what? You're staying here then, and I'm going to your bed," Mr. Tickles growled. Mmm, sexy beast! "I won't hear the end of it in the morning, but–"

His griping grew quieter and quieter, he probably left the room - and Tina nuzzled the pillow. It smelled delish! All of the above aromas present... but it's too cold! And no fur nearby! And no comforting heartbeat.

"What the sodding hell?!" Mr. Tickles hollered. "Go back to the sofa, Clementine!"

"Don't raise your voice at me," she murmured, settling on top of the moreish beasty. "I'm sleepwalking. You will cause an anxiety attack, disorientation, and I might punch you."

"Oh, you're also violent? I should've known."

If he dislikes her so much, why is he running his fingers through her hair? Oh, that's orgasmic.

"What am I supposed to do with you, Clementine Popplewell?"

"Just keep doing what you're doing," she murmured - and fell into non-REM sleep.

***

Day 3

OMG!!! It's like the worst possible nightmare! John Holyoake was in her bed! In. Her. Bed! Again!!!

Bloody again!!!

Quoting her thoughts from the morning of day one, John bloody Holyoake, the Destroyer of Lives, the Epitome of Entitlement, and the Despicable Alpha Male and Chauvinistic Macho was in her bed again.

Spooning her! And she had her fingers intertwined with his, both their hands resting on her stomach! Her squishy pale stomach!

Tina shrieked on top of her lungs, twisted out of his bear hug, pressed her hands into his shoulder, and pushed him off the bed.

Oh wow, so adrenaline does prime the body for emergency action, speeding up the heart and lungs, dilating the blood vessels, and releasing nutrients, both of which ready the muscles for quick responses, Tina's overzealous writer's brain supplied. Because no way she'd be able to shift this mass in a normal emotional state.

"What the bloody hell?!" the man roared from the floor.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" Tina screamed.

"I'm not in your bed. I'm once again on the floor thanks to you," he answered.

What a tosser! The nerve of this man!

"Why were you in my bed, Mr. Holyoake?" she gritted through her teeth.

He was sitting up now, disheveled, groggy, and visibly dischuffed.

"According to you, I'm not Mr. Holyoake. I'm Mr. Tickles."

What?! Wait– what?! Oh... Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no! Bloody no!

"Oh no," she exhaled.

"Oh yes," he answered. "And before you say anything, I did try to get rid of you, and I–"

"I remember, you don't have to tell me," Tina said in a tortured voice.

"Oh, you do?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "So you remember when you sleepwalk."

"Not always, but I was clearly spun out, and– The more stressed I am, the worse the nightmares and sleepwalking are. And the more vivid the dreams are."

She was starting to feel properly guilty. Damn her Pavlov's reflex. Tina has inconvenienced a person, ergo Tina is rubbish.

"I apologise," she croaked.

He rose, and Tina cowardly looked away.

"For crawling under my duvet, or for landing me on your floor again?" he asked.

"Both?" she said. She threw him a gingerly look. "Listen, I am sorry, alright? Maybe you can sleep in the bedroom from now on... and lock the door? Because there's no guarantee I won't try something like that again."

He lifted one eyebrow, and Tina sighed.

"I don't think my upbringing would allow me to kick a woman out of her bed, no matter how much she–" he started, and then froze mid-sentence. "Bloody hell, it's eight in the morning!"

Tina looked at the clock he was staring at.

"Yeah, I reckon all this wandering around tired me out, and I slept in," she said.

"I– I did too," he muttered, shock on his face.

What's this about?

"Yeah, why?" Tina asked, and then it dawned on her. "You're an insomniac, aren't you? That's why you kept making noises in the lounge and kitchen all through the first night."

Ah right. Tina forgot. He blushed. Feverish red stains grew on his cheekbones above his thick dark beard.

"I tried to be quiet," he grumbled.

He pushed his hands in the pockets of his pyjama bottoms. Wait, is heembarrassed? Is this aloof face just him being embarrassed? Can this be that simple?!

"I'll go make coffee," he muttered and as much as ran out of her bedroom.

Alright, all things considered, this was almost adorable. Almost.

Tina fell back in her bed and stretched. She felt surprisingly rested, considering she normally was a zombie after a sleepwalking session. She was also hungry, because apparently the whole 'seducing Mr. Tickles' escapade had prevented her from her usual sleep-snacking.

She wistfully thought of the rolls from the previous morning. She'd finished them after supper. They wouldn't be as good the second day! Suddenly, her cereal didn't seem like such a rad option. What did the man do to you, Tina?!

She crawled out of the bed, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and went down to the kitchen. She could already smell coffee... and bacon?

"Bacon and pepper pipérade," he said, without turning to her, pulling a tray out of the oven.

How does he always know she's behind him?! And yes, yes, a thousand times yes! The smell alone made her drool!

"Or do you prefer your cereal?" he asked sarcastically.

Oh she hated the bloke! But also she'd just caught a glimpse of the glossy, bright red dish, and she could smell the garlic and the pepper, and although he was a pompous prick and pronounced 'pipérade' with a Spanish accent - she still sat down at the table and threw him an expectant look.

He placed a plate and a fork in front of her, and Tina tucked in. He meanwhile made coffee. And apparently he remembered how she took hers! He put the mug in front of her and started plating his breakfast.

Her mobile rang in the pocket of her robe, and she fished it out and swiped.

"Hiya, Tina." Her brother's voice was cheery. "What's cooking?"

"Um, hello," she answered. "Nothing's cooking," she said in a tense voice.

Evelyn burst into loud laughter. "Nothing? Then why did I get a ring from your neighbour, Mrs. Onions– Still laughing at the surname by the way! The old darling is worried, and I'm your emergency contact. So..." he drew out. "Is there, or is there not a stranger in your cottage?"

Tina looked at Holyoake's back. What's he doing there in the sink for so long?

"I have a guest," Tina said.

Holyoake's shoulder twitched. Tina rose.

"I'll just go talk in the lounge," she mumbled. Unlike him, she just couldn't rudely take a conversation into another room. "It's– Um– I need to take this. It's personal..."

"Tina! Do you have a bloke in your cottage?!" Evelyn was so loud that Holyoake definitely heard. "Tell me the truth, you cock!"

Tina quickly lifted the phone to her ear.

"Can you keep your voice down?" she hissed and fled to the lounge. "It's not what you think, Lyn."

Alright, time for a smooth lie... or at least a half-truth. Or there'll be no end to his teasing.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net