The man stopped a couple of meters away from me, and in the dim light of the unlit stage he sure as hell looked real. It was the expression on his face that gave me the chills: he was definitely drooling over me, leering me up and down in an obviously inappropriate way.

The lusting intent in his eyes was real and I tightened my torso and cleared my head ready to defend myself.

His eyes wandered slowly up and over my body, "It's just you and me, all on our own, it feels nice, doesn't it, Benita?"

"Who are you?"

"Ha – ha – ha – ha – ha –ha!" His laugh was dry, raspy and he finished it with a splutter and spat out a slimy green globule that splatted on the stage floor.

"You know who I am – I am Joshua of Camberwell's nemesis. Call me Lucifer of Lewisham."

He made a step forward, which I followed with a step backward, "I've been following you for quite some time: the lonely girl in the library, the curious girl in Petal Road, the girl falling for her first love, the girl with green eyes – Benita Badoe – spawn of Javed, the Pastor slayer, he who shall be avenged!" His voice rising to a crazy like crescendo.

My body began to quiver whilst he continued to deliver, "I've been watching, waiting for our time." He smiled, "It's our time now, Benita – isn't it?" He asked, licking his lips lasciviously.

Hot beads of sweat burst from my forehead, even though I felt suddenly cold.

I stepped further back, he remained where he was, with his wide nefarious smile "Benita, you can't keep on running from me." Slowly he raised the stick, brandishing it over his shoulder like a bat.

Instinctively I knew he was going to hurl it at me and if that sharp crystal knob hit my head, he had me!

He launched it at me with a force that sent a whistle searing through the space. I dived on the floor protecting my head with my hands. It crashed into the wall behind me and clattered on the floor; I heard it roll and felt it rest at my foot.

Reacting with an Olympian athleticism I grabbed the stick with survival-fuelled speed – I leapt up and flew towards him intent on literally taking his head off.

I swung the stick hearing the slice of it cut the air – he wasn't there. My heart pumping, I stopped and caught my breath. A voice in my head screamed 'He's behind you Benita.' I spun around, ready for him – I couldn't see him.

My heart beat loud in my ear as I ran around the stage, searching for him – he'd vanished, literally.

But he had been there, without a doubt, he was real. He'd spat on the floor – I went to the place where he'd spat – there was nothing there, the floor was devoid of human phlegm and spittle.

My breathing began to settle and despite my searching bewilderment I told myself 'get out of here Benita – fast!'

###

Dad was tending to one of the guys when I came crashing in; he spun round, primed for defensive action. He relaxed when he saw me, "Daughter, you look like you've seen a ghost."

I handed him the stick and as my panic abated I started to pour panting words, "Dad, there's a man in here, white guy, six foot, in a suit, says he's been following me, calls himself Lucifer, he knows you, he mentioned your name, and Josh, then he vanished. He was the man on the stage with us, you seen him – didn't you?" When my bottom lip started to tremble he held me in a tight hug. He moved his hands to my shoulders, "I didn't see a man on the stage, the spotlight was on you and Josh, Remember."

The disappointment must have shown on my face as he followed up with,

"I'll get him daughter, don't you fear no more." He held my shoulders and gently pushed me back, "I'll get him, I promise you," he said, with a positive certainty.

His words and confidence soothed me and I felt further reassured when he said, "Now you get out of here and spend some quality time with Josh, try and put all this behind you, at least for a while?" He said.

###

I decided not to tell Josh of the incident; I felt that telling him would only be a burden that would impact on our impending quality time. Besides, I felt confidant dad would find this last piece of the puzzle, whether the man was real or the product of someone's imagination and technological skills – dad would solve and see to it.

###

Outside the sun was beginning to drop; yet its warmth could still be felt.

When I saw Josh, I stepped back for a moment to observe my boy. He spoke to the girls, his arms gesticulating with enthusiastic animation. In turn they all looked at him, with wide adoring eyes, as if they were somehow entranced by his presence. But I felt no jealousy; only pride in the way Josh treated these abused young girls with such respect.

His eye caught mine and the light in them filled me with joy, "There you are B, I was getting worried." He waved me over, "Come on, we need to get the girls to the hotel so they can rest and we can play," he said, smiling widely.

###

The girls were an arresting sight on Camberwell high street. Dressed in flowing white, they looked like a flock of angels, following their Messiah, Josh. But, this being London, they drew no attention from the busy bustling locals who were too caught up in their own lives to notice anything unusual in the scene.

Clara, the girl that I first met with Dylan, trailed back to talk with me, "I can see the love that shines in Joshua's eyes, for you. You're a lucky girl." I didn't know how to respond, but needn't have worried as she came back with, "As am I." She pointed to the other girls, "As are we, all oh so lucky to have the good fortune to meet our savior. My gratitude to you both for saving me is so strong that I cannot put it into words," she said.

Her sincerity touched me, "I see and feel your gratitude, sometimes we don't need words," I said. She smiled, "Yes, you are right sister." She stopped and opened here arms to me, "Because actions speak louder," she said, enveloping me in a warm embrace and hugging me tight.

###

Josh booked and paid for four rooms for the girls in the Church Street Hotel; he gave Clara a thousand pounds for food and upkeep for a week or so. Then we said our goodbyes – and Josh and I were at last alone.

###

On the street I felt suddenly shy and self-conscious. I looked at Josh and thought I saw a similar awkwardness in him.

He smirked shyly and took my hand, "Erm – we need – I mean. No – I mean we need to – erm – we should..."

..."Spit it out, Josh," I said, hoping to help him say whatever it is he was having difficulties with.

Immediately he straightened up, "We need to buy condoms!" He said, suddenly all matter of fact.

It broke our tension and we both doubled up laughing. Once our laughter had subsided, I said, "That's not very romantic, is it?"

"I is being a responsible boyfriend, innit?" He said, with an exaggerated accent.

"So you're my boyfriend, officially?"

His arm encircled my waist, "Sure thing girlfriend. And tonight is the night when two become one – you get me?" He said.

I chuckled, "That's a song and it's so cringe full," I said. But secretly I found it romantic and it made me shiver with a kind of nervous apprehension; the total opposite of what I'd felt only moments earlier on the stage.

"True, though, innit?" He said, looking at me.

I averted his gaze, "I won't lie, I'm nervous," I said, shyly.

He lifted my face toward his, "So am I, but it feels like a good nervous," he said.

"What – but you're experienced, aren't you?"

He laughed shyly, "Experienced, you make it sound like a job."

"You know what I mean, I just assumed you've slept with a girl before," I said.

He nodded his head, "I slept with Clara, when she was in my apartment," he said, bluntly.

His words induced in me the most crushing sense of dread, a foreboding that was far worse then any of the horrors I'd recently experienced. I wanted to run from him, but I couldn't, I just stood rooted to the spot, dazed by the revelation and the casual nonchalance with which he'd told me.

When he saw my shock, he shook me, "B, I slept with her, as in shared a bed with her, she was frightened. We didn't do the deed." He broke a smile, "You're a Firgin and I'm a Mirgin and tonight we is a Merging," he said, with a sing songy lilt and little laugh.

My surging relief actually made me feel dizzy and I stumbled. Josh grabbed me, steadying me, "You is falling for me big style, B," he said, with a sexy smirk and wink combo. And I won't lie, he was talking the truth – I was falling deep.

###

Josh grasped my hand and pulled me hard, but I used all my strength to resist him, "Please, come in with me, it'll be rollicking," he pleaded, trying to pull me into the late-opening pharmacy.

I held firm, "Seriously Josh, mum and me use this one, the woman behind the counter will recognize me, I don't want her to see me browsing for condoms." He relaxed his grip, "Fair enough – I'll go buy the love gloves all by myself," he said, pretending to look sad.

###

Leaning against the pharmacy front while waiting for Josh, I reflected on how much I'd changed in such a short time. I'd discovered a physical and emotional strength I never knew I possessed and I felt empowered by it.

I turned and looked at my reflection in the window, I saw a young girl, responsible and in control, on the cusp of becoming a woman.

Peering through the window, I saw Josh, unselfconsciously buying contraceptives and in him I saw my male equal. My heart soared with a lusting, loving force.

###

Josh and I waited for the elevator in the reception of his plush apartment building. It arrived with a ping and as soon as the doors closed we embraced. My tummy turned and tumbled with excitement as we travelled upwards.

I held the back of Josh's head and stared him in the eye with a searing intensity, "Take me to your heaven," I said, before his mouth met mine and we melted into each other.

As we kissed all thoughts of the recent passed fell from my mind. This was my moment, my first love – and no bad Juju was going to taint it.