I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-

God, to actually be there when i actually die..., so i suppose, I would much rather not be aware of my death. To be asleep, maybe?

These thoughts continued to roam inside of my head. My memories bringing me to a time when I was younger. Before my parents abandoned me on the side of the road. Before I was called a mistake. Before I met Yūji at a park where he came up to me, and gave me a home. All while I gripped at Sukuna's shirt.

.
_ from back then _
.

"Mom, look!"

I showed her what I could do with my cursed energy. A smile etching across her face as she praised me. My father smiling in the kitchen as he listened. His hands deftly making our dinner.

"You're doing great, (Name)! My beautiful and talented little child," she said happily as she easily picked me up into her arms.

Unconditional love.

This is what I wanted, right?

To show that I could be good.

And that was when my dad called us to the table, dinner was ready as it always was. As it should be. This was normalcy.

Then,

After dinner...

Their was always something I was told to do.

Had to do.

My parents told me to, so I had to, right?

So, after we all ate, my father had gotten up from his chair and had come over to me. His arms easily picking me up as I laughed. My mom going to clean the dishes as she smiled at us two.

Normal.

Normalcy.

That is was I demanded.

That is what I expected.

That is what all the other kids my age got, so why can't I have that too?

And while mom was doing that, I was brought to a dark room that was immediately lit up with bright light once my dad took us both in. The door shutting closed tightly.

His arms immediately dropping me. My body falling and hitting the floor as I sighed. His hand showing me forward as I huffed.

The happy family facade finally disappearing as I sat in the middle of the room. Books among books over the King of Curses surrounded me.

.

My parents were highly established sorcerers. They were among the best. Not quite as good as Gojo Satoru, but still good. So, when they had me, they were excited. Happy. Thrilled. They were everything that a parent should be.

Until they realized just how untalented I was. I couldn't use cursed energy. I would get scared at the mere mention of a curse. And I always failed at anything and everything that my parents gave to me.

They quickly got tired.

And soon.

I became tired too.

"Mistake."

"Useless."

"Disappear."

Those words were frequent in their vocabulary.

"I wish you were never born."

"Why couldn't you be better."

"What is wrong with you."

Those phrases were frequent in there lists among lists of hateful spite.

I was useless in the ways of a sorcerer. My talent. Knowledge. Strength. All of it a mere illusion. I was a human. Normal. Simplistic. Easy to kill.

.

I closed my eyes and grabbed one of the books that surrounded me. My fingers flipping through the pages before I settled on something random.

Yes.

My parents were highly established sorcerers.

Sorcerers that worshiped Ryomen Sukuna. At first. At first. At first. At first when they would tell me stories. At first when they were normal parents and told me their stories of the past...I could tell that they had once hated Ryomen Sukuna. Hated him to the very core, but soon...their hatred turned to obsession. Then to worship. And when they realized they couldn't use me properly for their plans, they were quick to toss me aside. I never really learned what their plans were and still are, but I know it isn't good, and I don't plan to do anything about it.

.

_ present _
.

So, to see Ryomen Sukuna's back to me. The memories biting at me made me sick to my stomach. That simple flashback not even scratching the surface of my past. There was so much more. So much.

And then, then, then.

I felt my grip loosed as I felt him tear away from me his hands grabbing at the jacket and shirt and just ripping it apart.

"Ah I knew it! Light is best appreciated in the flesh!"

Fushiguro grabbed me then as he pulled me to him. At first, I thought he was using me as a human meat shield, but when he pulled me behind him my eyes could only widen.

I...

I had always thought that Yūji and his grandfather were the only nice people in the world, and that everyone else always cared for themselves than others, but...

This was the second time that Fushiguro is trying to protect me, and that's saying something especially since he has gotten to know my annoying personality a bit by now.

"A cursed spirit's flesh is no fun! Where are the people?! The women?!"

His form turning to us as he stared me down. A sick grin crossing his face, "what a wonderful age it has become!"

He took a step forward towards us, "It'll be a massacre!"

My throat felt dry then. My cursed energy had finally come to me. Though, it was always with me to begin with, so...grabbing onto Fushiguro's shoulder. I could only smile.

"Don't worry about a thing! I mean, I don't plan on being here for my death and all!"

He smiled then, a snort escaping him, "you make no sense in the short time that I have known you."

"And you're to serious," I fired back as I stepped away from him.

"Anyway...," I started as Fushiguro narrowed his eyes. He was, in fact, in no condition to fight, and neither was I. So, he was genuinely curious as to what I would do.

"Hello! You're Ryomen Sukuna, right? Nice to meet ya! My parents were big fans of yours-"

"I know."

And before I could even move, he was right in front of me. His hand reaching out to grab at my throat. His nails digging into my skin.

I don't want to be here during my death, so...

I, in turn, grabbed his wrist. My eyes connecting with his as our world began to twist and turn. My own cursed energy swirling out of control.

And then, everything went black as I found myself in a new place. My gaze flicking around as I noticed that it looked strangely like someone's domain.

"How interesting, seems your parents trained you well."

My head snapped towards the rough voice. Sukuna was there, sitting on a disfigured throne of some sort. It...the throne...honestly looked liked a bunch of disfigured bodies...

"Ha! Hardly! They hated me and thought I was useless," I simply stated.

"And yet...here you are. A human that is able to tear and destroy another's domain."

I merely smirked back at him, "trust me. I really am nothing. And will forever be nothing, but that isn't the point right now. I want you to give Yūji's body back!"

And I want to figure out how you know my parents...because in the time that I lived in that damned house...not once had I seen any sort of communication with you. Not to mention that fact that it would be terribly difficult to talk to you in the first place.

So...how?

And then he was right in front of me once more.

"Sorcerers sure are annoying no matter the era."

"I'm not some sorcerer. Just the head of the disciplinary committee."

The moment those words left my mouth, I found my heart being ripped out of my chest. My body immediately falling to the dirty floor, but as soon as my vision blackened...I found myself alive once again. And that was when I was truly thankful for being inside of his mind rather than being out in the reality.

Because...

In reality, he still has his hand wrapped around my throat, and I know he could easily rip my head off the moment I leave his mind scape.

"Listen. Kill me all you want, but I'm not leaving until Yūji gets his body back."

Though, something told me. Deep down. That no matter how much I ask Sukuna this simple demand...that Yūji will be just fine.

And that

And that

And that

And that I'm just getting in the way once again.

God, why do all of these questions, insecurities, and problems have to show up now?

And...

Why do my parents have to be so damn annoying? It's as if they want to continue to fuck up my life despite them not being around me anymore.

So as the questions continued to filter through my mind, Sukuna continued to kill me over and over again, but as long as my cursed energy held out, then he wouldn't actually kill me. Though, the moment I mess up and we're both in reality, well, let's just say my head won't be attached to my body anymore...

___________________________

a/n;; I'm not going to reveal everything from the get-go, so don't worry. Everything will make sense as you continue reading !!

Thanks for everything!

Also, I didn't think I was going to update so soon-