fuck

-

"Now, we can't have that, right?"

"Ma-Mahito?! I thought you said i was allowed to handle it on my own?!"

"I got worried, and good thing I did, or you would have let both Gojo and y/n go," he said as he laid a hand on Junpei's shoulder. Y/n's eyes widening as she immediately got nervous.

Gojo being long forgotten about as only Junpei's safety entered her mind.

"Stop right there, y/n."

She did as was told. Her eyes focused on Mahito's hand. Junpei looking nervous as well. Sweat lightly beadung down his face. It wasn't looking well for him. He got caught helping y/n after all. He knew better, but ... he wanted to help his friend after all.

"I'll let Junpei here go, but only if you do one thing for me."

"Wh-what is it," she asked. Her fists clenching tightly as Mahito smirked.

"Don't do it y/n! Sukuna lied about Itadori, right?! So why trust Mahito's word?!"

"Be quiet Junpei."

He shut up right quick. Though his eyes were angry. He didn't know what exactly would happen, but it wouldn't end well for him or for y/n. He knew that much for sure.

"As for you, y/n ... i want you to change your soul."

"Change my own soul?"

"Yes ... I want you to change it to where you'll stop caring for Gojo .. make it to where you give up on his rescue completely. And I won't hurt Junpei."

Give up on Gojo for Junpei?

Anyone.

Everyone.

Every single person knew that that was a shit idea. Gojo could potentially save the world. Getting rid of any and all curses.

So, why bother with someone like Junpei?

Y/n stopped herself.

That was no way to be thinking. Besides .. if she saved Junpei by changing her soul, then .. then Junpei could just save Gojo for her.

She knew she was just trying to be optimistic, but she already lost so many people. Ruining lives. Never helping. Never being "strong" enough.

Maybe this was that turning point?

"alright."

"You idiot! Don't change your soul for my sake! You need Gojo to win! Stop being an idiot!"

"Wrong, we need you too!"

But the moment she changed her soul, Gojo safety, his rescue completely leaving her mind ... she found that Mahito did indeed lie.

Because, Junpei soul was changed too, but in the way that Y/n wanted. His death was quick. She wondered if he felt anything. And, as she looked back at Gojo's prison, she also found that the damage she had done to her own soul was already complete. Irreversible. The feeling of safety and rescue has completely left her.

This is why I'm not cut out to be a mother fucking optimist. Always thinking the world would get better.

What a bullshit notion.

I thought that by saving Junpei, Gojo could be saved too.

Mahito wouldn't allow that, of course. I should have just killed the damned sewer rat instead.

But then Junpei would still be in danger.

Face it, either way someone dies.

There it is.

That pessimistic attitude.

Her knees felt shaky. The wind knocked out of her. She was an idiot. She thought to greatly of others. Always too kind for her own good. She thought lowly of herself, always raising others up on pedestals.

She wanted to ...

Her gaze set on Mahito as he began to laugh. Junpei's misshapen body falling to the floor. Already gone. Already dead.

She wanted to ...

She was too weak. She couldn't stop Mahito. She couldn't.

She failed at every aspect.

She couldn't—

"Just kill him, y/n."