"Do you like me?" I repeat again

"I don't want to talk about this" he replies

"You mean feelings.... well this is a well needed conversation, so suck it up" I correct fighting back the smile that was beginning to form.

He takes a few seconds before answering and I use the handful of seconds to prepare myself for his answer.

"Uh...i don't know how to answer that...yeah I guess " he answers whilst shrugging his shoulders.

"You don't seem to sure about that" I reply

"Do you like me?"

"Most of the time"

"Most of the time?" He repeats my question

"Yes most of the time, when you're not being a jackass"

"Well that's just....me" he replies

"That's your excuse? That's just me"

He shrugged his shoulders in response

"I want proper answers Ivan otherwise you can leave"

"Alright Rogue, take it easy. I think you're forgetting that this is all new to me is well"

"I know that, it's just that things between us aren't going how I expected" I confess

"And how did you think things were going to go?"

"I don't know, when I see Colt and Nicole together they're happy.....they don't fight all the time" I reply

"Well first of all we aren't Colt and Nicole, they haven't had to deal with the same issues that we have, comparing us to others isn't a healthy thing. We won't ever be like Colt and Nicole" he states

"I guess that's true" I say in response, the conversation had started to die down before Ivan's voice filled the room.

"Look I'm sorry for what i said in the car alright, even though you are all those things, they don't bother me that much. You said things so I said them back, it was all in the moment"

"It still hurt" I snap back

"You think that it doesn't hurt me when you say those things?.... Do you think that I like my mate telling me she thinks I'm a bully and arrogant? Because I don't, I may not show my feelings as much as you but it still bothers me... Do you really blame me for our issues?" He questions

I readjust myself in my seat before answering.

"No, I don't blame you. That wouldn't be right, but you do play a huge part in them, sometimes I'm the the main instigator but so are you. I feel like you try to pick fights with me"

Ivan takes a long moment to respond this time

"Sometimes I pick a fight with you because then I have a reason to talk to you" he confesses

I wasn't expecting that answer nor was I expecting the strange emotions to hit me. A part of me was feeling giddy and excited but the other half was feeling sad and upset. Am I really that bad?

"But why? I've never made you feel like you can't talk to me....have i?" I question leaning forward over the table.

"No, it's just that sometimes I don't know what to say to you. For a long time I've lived a very private life, I keep my friends close and my enemies closer.... I've not had company in a long time, being alone and independent has played a huge part in my life so having to care for another person isn't normal to me"

His head was angled away from my direction, it was obvious that this wasn't a topic that he was comfortable talking about, I've never seen ivan so vulnerable since they day I met him and to be completely honest I'm actually enjoying it, at least now I feel like I can talk to him properly and hopefully get some answers.

"Is that why you're so against having a mate? Because you like being alone?"

"No one likes being alone Rogue, the emptiness that comes with having no one isn't a feeling that I'm particularly fond of. I got used to being on my own, waking up on my own, eating on my own, going out on my own, living on my own. It was just me, myself and I, i didn't have to rely on anyone, it was just easier....at first at least, then it sort just stuck like that and not its just something I've learnt to live with " he shrugs his shoulders as if the words he had just spoken meant nothing at all.

He may of not been fazed by his words but I certainly was, no one should have to feel alone whether it was there choice or not. To hear Ivan calmly state how he's had nobody his whole life, breaks my heart but it also makes me wonder why he isn't making a change?

"I never knew you felt like that"

"You wouldn't.... not unless I would want you to know"

"If you hate the feeling of being alone, why are you so hesitant to let me in. Being your mate I should be the one person that will prevent you from ever feeling like that....don't you want to be loved?"

The last word had hit ivan like a train, he wasn't mentally prepared for that word to leave my lips.

"Loved? I'm a monster, I feed on human blood and I prey on the weak and vulnerable. Love is not what I deserve... a stake through my heart is most likely more suitable for someone like me" he lets out a half hearted laugh before leaning on the table.

"That's not true-"

"It's alright Rogue, don't waste your breath, i appreciate your attempt to justify my actions but there's nothing that can cover up the damage that I've done, not even your sweet words" he cuts me off with a wave of his hand.

"It shouldn't matter what other people say about you, the only opinions you should be concerned about are from the people you care about. Like Colt...Paris....Rose and Hunter-"

"You" he interrupts once more but this time I was grateful, that's the first time he's ever said he cared about me without me having to convince him to and damn it felt good.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek to prevent a smile creeping on my face, as much as I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"What do you think of me?" He asks

"What do you think of me?" I repeat his question, curious to hear his answer

"I asked you first"

"So?" I challenged

"Where to start...."

The butterflies in my belly were going crazy, I was literally about to die.

"I think you're a very bright and beautiful girl who has a lot to offer and just as much to give. I admire your strength and compassion for others around you. I think you'll live a rich and successful life, achieve all your aspirations whilst inspiring others around you. You have this personality that lightens the mood and the beauty unlike no other...... do you want me to continue?"

The feels right now, I quickly clear my throat before answering.

"Uh no it's alright"

"My turn" a smirk formed on his face as he sits back waiting for a response.

"Well...... I think that you are a kind yet very strong man who has a lot of love to give, even tho you may not know it yet. I don't see a monster or a animal i see a brave and courageous guy who did what he needed to do to survive and to protect the people he holds closest to his heart...." ivan begins to stand up from his chair and walk around to me

"Please continue, my ego is enjoying this" he jokes

"I believe you will make the right decision in your life no matter what the consequences are......and I guess you're not that bad looking"

"Not that bad?" He asks insulted

He was now stood to my right, using his strength he turns my chair around to face him.

"Not that bad?!" He repeats again

"It's an opinion" I confess

"Well i don't like your opinion"

"What a shame" he looks down at my lips and I look down at his. We both moved closer connecting our lips together.

He grabs my arms and pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arm around my waist with one have and cupping my face with the other.

My eyes grow wide when an unfamiliar texture brushes across my bottom lip. I'm not doing this! I'm going to embarrass myself, I don't know how to French kiss...

I keep my mouth closed to prevent the kiss from escalating. Ivan wasn't very pleased with my denial of affection, I could his feel hand trailing down my back then it stopping.

The sudden sting to my bum had left me startled and slightly aroused, the smack to my bum was a first, it was very unexpected yet I liked it.

Ivan clearly knew what he was doing as he took it as an opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth.

Instead of pulling away and running away like I thought I would, I kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed his hand on the back of my head, pushing my lips to his.

Ivan let out a deep growl causing my knees to buckle. We continued to kiss, my in experience clearly showing as Ivan's skilled tongue roams my mouth.

I quickly pulled away but kept my hands on his arms.

"What's the matter?" He asks

"I can't breathe" I reply as I try and regain my breath

He smiles his usual wicked smile before pecking me in the lips once more.

"That was better then I thought it would be" he states as he straightens out his shirt.

Talking seemed to be a little challenging right now so I simply nod in response as I try to grasp my concept on reality.

"Come on let's go" he turns around and walks down the isle, towards the door.

I take a step forward but stumble forward almost falling on my face. Ivan looks in amusement as he patently waits for me to catch up to him.

"Alright there?" He asks whilst leaning on the wall

I walk straight past him but not before he smacks my bum once again. I quickly turn around and glare at him.

"I knew it was real" he smiles and raises his eyebrows up and down.

He walks past me and down the stairs. For some reason I can't control my excitement as i intently scream and stamp my feet.

The whole ride home I continued to recall the heated events that happened earlier as well as repeatedly staring at Ivan.

I still can't believe what happened and to be honest I liked it and can't wait for it to happen again. Tasha and Nicole are going to die when I tell them!!!!

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