BRIDGETTE

“Nothing,” I said too rapidly than intended. I turned away with my chart in hand and added, “I have medications to give. See you later.”

“Cara,” he called out.

I’m not Cara! I wanted to shout back but now that I had regained my composure, I turned my head over my shoulder, a question on my face.

Scott looked at the direction of the station and when he was sure no one was watching he walked towards me. His face was serious when he asked, “You were talking to someone just then.”

“Uh, no. I was just talking to myself.”

“I know you usually talk to yourself, but I think that was not it.”

“Scott,” I said in a low voice, “it was nothing.”

“Is there something I should know?” he asked, his brows furrowed.

I stared at him for a long time, struggling with myself.

“Just tell him,” Cara said in my ear. “Get it over with. We will find a way if things turn out bad.”

Should I? I wanted to. Looking at him looking at me with an expression of concern and curiosity, I wanted to pour out everything.

He arched at eyebrow, indicating he was waiting.

“No,” I finally uttered. “I’ll see you later. I really need to go.”

“You should have told him,” Cara said as I walked my way back to the station.

“Shut up,” I whispered.

The next day, Scott was ringing the door, just as I woke up.

“Ready for coffee?” he asked, holding up two cups of Starbucks. Ever since I dated him, I took up drinking coffee. One reason was that Cara’s body was craving for it and the second one was obvious: I liked having coffee with Scott.

He was wearing his baseball cap and his shirt was just drying up. I looked down at his jogging pants and running shoes. “You went running without me,” I arched an eyebrow as I said that, still blocking the doorway. “Now I’m not sure if I’ll let you come inside.”

With a chuckle, he leaned over, tilted his head to the side and whispered against my lips, “Then I guess I’ll just kiss my way in.”

“Hmmm…” I said a few seconds later. “That’s the password,” and I swung the door wider to let him in. He went straight to the kitchen and placed the cups on the counter. “What do you have for breakfast?” He checked his watch and corrected himself, “Lunch, I mean.”

“I thought of ordering just when as when you rang,” I answered, taking my cup of coffee. But before I could take a sip, he snatched it away from me.

“You’re not drinking this with an empty stomach,” he said pointedly.

I gave him a pout.

He kissed my mouth. “Not going to work. Let me prepare something.”

I watched him move around the apartment with ease, opening the fridge and studying the contents like they were his own patients. When he finally thought of a solution, he grabbed what he needed and went on to prepare whatever he had in mind. He had done this a lot of times since we started going out. My smile wavered as I watched him work.

I thought of how he would stay away from me when he found out the truth. I thought of how he would think I was crazy. Scott was a very objective man and he would surely want proof of things. He would want to see signs and symptoms. Whatever I would tell him, if ever the truth was out, would be merely subjective. He never knew Cara in a personal level since he met me so he wouldn’t have any reference as Quinn had.

The fact that he had told me something about his past, something he obviously didn’t share that easily, only made things worse.

Telling him the truth was the right thing to do.

CARA

Bridgette hadn’t called me since we left the hospital this morning after her shift. I woke up with the sound of my phone ringing. My heart started to hammer against my chest when I saw Natalie’s name.

“Hey,” I answered after much contemplation. I was already finding a good reason to give her for not showing up this couple of weeks.

“Bridgette, hey, listen,” she said from the other line. I didn’t hear her usual chirpy voice. She sounded dead serious this time. “I know you’ve been on an accident and all, but it has been weeks since I saw you. You are the one we hired to prepare our wedding but I think you’re not living up to your reputation. Cara is a good replacement, but right is right.”

“Natalie, I’m sorry but--”

“Please see me today at the usual spot. I will be waiting and I better see your face this time.”

My mouth fell open when the line went dead. She sounded really pissed. I couldn’t blame her. She was right. They paid for Bridgette’s services after all.

Well, she didn’t say she’s going to be there with Quinn, I thought. I checked the time. Bridgette must still be asleep by now. I couldn’t ask her to come later anyway. Natalie insisted on my presence and I better be there for Bridgette’s sake. Losing this project meant losing a lot of money and by the look of the accounts I had been studying for the past few weeks in her office, she was going to face trouble for real.

With a sigh, I decided to get ready to meet Natalie later.

I arrived early so I could compose myself if ever Quinn would come. Going straight to the ladies room, I checked myself. I had pasted two plasters on my forehead just so I could give some proof to Natalie that I was, in fact, been on an accident.

When I got out of the door to walk to the table reserved for us, I almost went back inside and flushed myself in the toilet. Sitting there, in his haggard state, was Quinn. I looked for Natalie but there was no sign of the woman. Anger rushed through me and I stormed my way to him, clutching the strap of my bag tightly.

“You manipulating bastard,” I bit out as stood just a foot away from him.

Startled, he looked up at me. “What?”

“You used Natalie so I would come here,” I accused.

His gaze wavered, his posture now erect. “Cara, look, I need to talk to you. You never replied to my messages, you never answered my calls--”

“That should tell you that I don’t want to talk or see you,” I said, turning around to leave.

He followed me out of the door and when we were out of earshot from the diners inside the restaurant, he grabbed my arm and whirled me around to face him. “Why are you making this hard for me?”

“I am not! You are!” I said, pulling at my arm but he wouldn’t let go. “Quinn, in case you are not aware, you are going to get married soon.”

“I’ll back off the wedding.”

For a long, silent moment, I was stunned. “What?” I asked in a broken voice. That was what I wanted to hear from him. No, scratch that. That was what I would have wanted to hear from him if not for the second problem I had.

“I’ll tell Natalie I changed my mind. I don’t really care if she keeps everything she bought. She could have it all. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Just please, come back to me.”

I looked at his pleading eyes. He looked terrible. His dark hair was a mess, his blue eyes dull because of the shadows under them and his bristles were starting to form a miniature of a forest. It took a lot of willpower to pull my arm away from his grasp and say, “No.”

“Why? Just tell me why?” he asked in frustration.

“You know why,” I answered before I turned and walked across the street.

Like a shadow, he followed me back to my car. “Because you have Bridgette’s face? Is that it?”

I did not answer. I fumbled my bag for the keys, my hands shaking, the tears coming out of my eyes.

“Cara, I don’t see her when I look at you. I don’t hear her when we talk. And I sure don’t feel her whenever I’m with you. That’s enough, is it? It should be enough.”

The ball of tear finally fell from my eye and landed on the back of my hand. “Sooner or later, you will regret it,” I uttered with a shaking voice. “You will regret it because you won’t have a normal relationship with a woman who is inside her own body. You will regret it because you can never be with a woman who can introduce you to her real family. You will regret it because you will be with a woman who lives in a world of another.”

“Hey,” he said, his hand gently planting on my shoulder as he turned me around. “I don’t care. Do you get it? I don’t care.”

My head was still bent down my bag. I couldn’t look at him, afraid I might do the very thing my heart wanted to do for so long which was to just not care and be with him.

“Cara, I have been through hell for years because of what happened ten years ago. We have all been through hell because of it. I don’t want to go down the same path this time. This time, I know the truth and that is enough for me. So please, don’t run away the second time. This time, please choose me.”

Please choose me.

Those words finally made me look up at him. I was not sure if it was my tears or his that I saw. Looking into those eyes, I remembered the hell I went through ten years ago; the hurt, the loss and the longing. Slowly, I nodded my head, finally giving in. The hell with everything else! I could never lose this guy again.

He gave a heavy sigh of relief and cupped my tear-streaked face in his hands and leaned his forehead against mine. “This time, I won’t let you walk out, not ever,” he whispered before claiming my lips.

BRIDGETTE

We were in the couch watching Bones, one of my favorite TV series. It had taught me a lot these past few days, especially with the medical terms. But for the first time, I was not intently listening to Brennan’s words nor was I commenting on Booth’s weird buckle choice. My mind was wandering elsewhere and I was secretly hoping that Cara was there with me.

She was good when it came to making decisions. But with or without her, I knew she would be saying one thing: tell Scott. Now or never. Don’t prolong it.

“Hey, what’s up?” Scott asked, turning to face me.

“What? Nothing,” I lied, clearing my throat.

“I know something’s bothering you,” he pointed out, now facing me. “Come on, just tell me.”

I looked at his handsome face and I felt tears threatening to come out again. “What if I tell you something really weird? Would you take me seriously?”

He frowned in thought. “That’s broad. Make it more specific.”

I forced a smile and shook my head. “It’s nothing. Forget about it.”

His eyes looked at me with warning. I sighed. “Just promise me you’ll hear me out. And when I’m done, think about it for a long time. After that, you can ask your questions.”

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” he asked with a grin.

“Scott, I’m serious. Hear me out first.” I shifted on the couch to face him, my legs crossed.

His face turned all doctor-like again as he nodded. “Okay, sure. I promise to hear you out first.”

“And bear in mind that I am not crazy. I am sane.”

He chuckled. “You are making me nervous, you know that?”

My eyes were now brimming with tears as I desperately held his hand. “I am serious and I am not crazy.”

“Hey, calm down. Okay, you are not serious and you are not crazy. Now, tell me.”

I closed my eyes and prayed for strength. And when I opened them, my mind was set.

It was now or never.