I tore off outside and across the lawn to chase Riley down. There was no way she could have gotten far. It had only been a few minutes and she had short legs. I should have easily been able to catch her since one of my strides was about four of hers.

The spot in front of the house where she had parked the night before was empty.

I stopped near the street and turned my head, looking both ways to try to catch a glimpse of which way she was headed. There were no clues or flashes of movement anywhere within my line of sight. The street was eerily silent around me.

Riley had just disappeared into thin air.

"FUCK!" I screamed as loud as I could.

Riley never listened to me before about anything.

Why did she pick right now to start?

I sprinted back inside the house to get dressed to go out to search for her. There were only so many places she could have gone in a town the size of this one. 

I grabbed a wadded-up t-shirt off the floor, not caring if it was clean. The only thing that mattered right now was finding Riley and making this complication between us disappear as fast as possible.

I grabbed my keys off my dresser and paused for a second, looking down at the pills lying loose on the dresser. They began singing a sweet song to me to lure me back in. The louder they called to me, the more my mouth began watering for a tiny glimpse into the darkness. Taking a few right now wasn't going to hurt my sobriety. I had been sober for months and was much stronger than before.

The shadowy voice in my head reassured me that I could keep myself under control as long as I only gave in this one time. The only way I could talk to Riley and keep a level head was not to feel anything for a while.  It was the only way to seal the memories back up and hide them until they didn't exist. I needed them to stay calm.

Fuck it.

I was going to take them. I could stop again whenever I wanted to. Just a couple would be enough. No one would even have to know it happened.

I started to open my mouth to place them on my tongue and hesitated. The Oxy's delayed release wouldn't hit my system fast enough if I swallowed them right now.  The quick fix approach would work much better to get my body back under control. 

There was only one way for me to get what I needed quickly.

I bent down and grabbed two loose guitar picks off the floor that were casualties from my drawer smashing tirade.  I flattened one of them against the first pill using my finger and thumb. The pill easily crumbled into a fine powder as I applied more pressure.  I reworked the small pile repeatedly until I had every little grain crushed and then used the second pick like a shovel to scoop it up. I pinched my nostril as I brought my nose closer and inhaled deeply until the pill residue was all gone.

It burned like a blowtorch was firing away directly on the membranes of my nose.  It stung so terribly that I had to fight the natural urge to blow the powder back out for relief.  My throat felt utterly devoid of any fluid and wanted to close up on itself. 

Eating a whole fistful of lava would have been more pleasant.

The first hit was always the worst.

I had forgotten how much I hated the feeling.  It was one thing to take them this way when you were already halfway gone, but completely sober was a whole other level of hell. 

One pill wasn't going to be enough for me. I had to have more to get the burning to disappear.

I went back for another pill and went through the same motion; this time the only difference was I snorted it up the other nostril to even the score.  My head felt lighter as I took in the other pile.

It wasn't a lot, just enough to start me off.

I grabbed the Oxy bottle and opened it again. I poured two more pills out into my palm and opened my mouth to swallow them. After eating pills like candy since I was a teenager, I didn't have any problems taking them without help to get them to go down.  I had gotten used to the bitter taste that lingered in the back of my throat.

I stuck the pill bottle in my pocket just in case I needed them again.

I spent over an hour looking for Riley around town without any luck.  About fifteen minutes into my drive, I decided to try to call her.  If she didn't answer, I could always turn to Aiden or Brynn for help. My hand scavenged the spot between the seat and console where I usually tossed my phone.  It took a few minutes of me blind hunting to realize it wasn't there.

Shit. I didn't remember grabbing my phone before I left the house.

My stupid ass was so worried about the fucking pills that I left it behind.

I could have called Riley and begged her to come back. Instead, I was halfway across town, searching desperately for her without knowing where to look next.

By some miracle of pure blind luck, I spotted a pizza sign on top of a car signaling to turn right. The lit up car sign had the same logo as Riley's uniform.

That had to be the same place she worked.

I followed the car down a side street and blocked the car in when a guy got out with an orange bag in his hand. He tensed up and froze when he saw me jump out of my vehicle and stalk towards him.  I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him up to my face. He wasn't going to get free until he told me where she was. 

"Where's Riley?" I demanded.

"I-I don't know anyone named Riley." He stammered.

He couldn't fool me; the jackass was lying. I could tell from the expression on his face that he knew precisely who Riley was. He had to be one of the guys she hung out with from work.

"Where the fuck is she?" I growled.

The veins in my arm were popping out as I gripped his collar tighter.  He was hiding her from me. This guy wanted her all for himself.  I pulled my fist back to bash his skull into dust when his small voice trembled and answered.

"Her house. Try her house."

I froze in place while I held him in place.

He was right. Riley would have gone home.

Why didn't I go there first?

The scrawny guy was lucky my desire to find Riley was greater than my need to hurt him.  I dropped my hold on him and he collapsed to the ground.  He crawled away and scurried back to his car to lock himself in.

He was a pussy. I had no idea what Riley had seen in that guy. There was nothing about him that was worthy of a half-second of her attention.

I drove at least thirty miles over the speed limit on the way to Riley's house. The pills were rattling in my pocket, reminding me to take more. I wiggled and dug into my pocket and pulled them out as I floored the accelerator. Using just my thumb, I pried the top loose and shook two more into my mouth.

It might have been three.

I chewed them quickly, ignoring the unpleasant bite on my tongue. 

Riley's car wasn't in the driveway when I pulled up in front of her house.  I decided to go up and knock on the door anyway.  There was an attached garage on the side of the house-- maybe she parked it there to try to avoid me.

"Riley. Open the door." I yelled out as I pounded on the front door.

The Davis' bitch neighbor came out and stared me down as I throttled the wood with my fist, hoping my girl would answer.

I was about to go around the house's perimeter to check some of the windows to see if they were unlocked when I heard the deadbolt click. The door slowly opened, and I tilted my head down to search for my gorgeous girl's beautiful, bright green eyes.

"Riley, we need to go..." I started to explain when I was met with the broad chest of someone wearing gray. Mr. Davis emerged from the house with a slight frown on his face. The top of his shirt was damp, like I had interrupted him in the middle of taking a shower.

"Riley's not here." He said as he smacked the water out of his ear.

"I need to talk to her. Please let me see her." I stood up on the tips of my toes to get a better vantage point to look behind him. Riley had to be here and he was lying for her.

She didn't have anywhere else to go.

Mr. Davis cleared his throat and stepped out of the house.  He shut the door behind him and sent a knowing wave to the neighbor who was still gawking in our direction.

"Ezra. She's not inside." He gently placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it as I tried to peer around him again. I was bigger than he was and could push by him easily. He wouldn't be able to stop me from getting inside.

"I know she's here," I argued and attempted to push him aside.

"I have no reason to lie to you. Riley isn't home." He said, standing his ground.

"Where the fuck is she?" I screamed at him as tears filled my eyes. The pills weren't dulling anything; everything hurt so much. It felt like I was dying. I didn't take enough to make it all stop.

More. I had to have more until it went away.

"Why don't you come in the house to cool off a bit. It's hot out and you can wait here until Riley is back. I'm sure she will be back soon." Mr. Davis suggested and tried to lead me inside.

"I have to find her now, before it's too late. Riley needs me." I pushed him off me and staggered towards the stairs backwards.

"Ezra, what is going on? Is something wrong with Riley?" He tensed.

"I love her so fucking much." I slurred as the world went gray around me.

"I know, Ezra. I know you love Riley." Mr. Davis walked towards me slowly with his hands up. "You should come inside for a bit. You don't look so good. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"I'm fine. I'm fucking wonderful." I mumbled as I went down the steps backwards. 

I turned to run back to my car.  The branch of the hedge scraped my side when I miss-timed the bottom step of the porch.  The ground was moving so far away from my feet that judging distance was almost nearly impossible.

The pills were finally doing their job.

I climbed back in my car and drove down the street under the scrutiny of Mr. Davis' disapproving gaze.  I didn't give two shits about what he thought about me. 

The only thing that mattered anymore was Riley. 

I sped back to the house to grab my phone. When I pulled up, Riley's car was back in front of the house.

And so was Aiden's. 

Did she call him?  Why did she always call him? Why did he always come running when she did?

Something wasn't right. They shouldn't have been here together, all alone.

"Where is she?" I yelled as I burst through the front door.

When my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the living room, my body went cold

I wanted to die.

Riley was curled up on Aiden's lap, wearing nothing but my t-shirt and a pair of thin black panties. The shirt had ridden up so far that I had a completely unobstructed view of her ass placed firmly in the center of his lap. She was positioned perfectly over his cock as it burrowed its way between her cheeks.

Aiden had his hand in her tangled hair, stroking her head tenderly. His lips were against her ear, whispering soft words to comfort her. He had one hand rubbing up and down her creamy bare thigh and began inching it closer towards the center of her panties.

Red washed over my vision until there was nothing.

I was gone.