Chapter 1.67:

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My fingers anxiously tapped to the rhythm of the song that was playing over my radio. I started picking out alternating patterns hidden underneath the notes and could hear a more complex phrase begging to be played.  If I would have written the guitar portion to this song, it would have had much more depth than the simple barre chords that shaped the chorus. Lyrically, it was on point, but stylistically it was missing a certain amount of oomph that could make it one of the great rock classics.

It had skin but lacked the bones to support its own weight.

Camo had a lot of stage presence and played this song much better live, in my opinion. There was a chance that my memory of the night had a lot to do with my critique of their show. I was very distracted by a short blond to notice anything their performance was lacking.

It could also be that I had been listening to the same song on repeat for two and a half straight hours while I waited in front of Riley's house for her to get home.

According to Brynn, she should have been off work hours ago.

Brynn was at the house this morning and she told me Riley's regular schedule, so I knew where to find her today.  There was no chance in hell I would survive one more day without seeing Riley. It was risky to involve Brynn, but I had already tried to pry the information out of every other source available before I ended up turning to her.

I started my day out by calling around to the different locations of the pizza place I remembered seeing on her uniform. But, of course, she had to work for a chain and not some mom-and-pop shop which made it more difficult. There were so many different numbers I tried. None of them would give me any kind of information when I asked if she worked there.

Next, I swallowed my ego and went to Aiden's room to ask him if he had heard anything from her. I assumed the answer was a resounding ' no' by the sour expression on his face and immediate wordless dismissal. He hadn't said one word to me since the night of the show. He was still very clearly bent out of shape about how the night played out.

I tried to ask Mark, but he was still Mark, which meant he was no help at all. I didn't know why I bothered wasting my time with him.

I was in the middle of an hour-long session of dancing around the subject of Riley with JD and Anna when Brynn stumbled into the room and gave me a sly, sideways smile.  She flashed bedroom eyes at me and motioned for me to follow her out of the room.

I had no other option. I was getting nowhere fast.

When we were alone on the front porch, she started attempting to turn up the dial on her baiting act to lure me in. I was so desperate that I played into her sick need for male attention. I gave it my best attempt to get into her good graces and make her feel like I couldn't do this without her help. It was a pitiful scene. Brynn purred back at me like hurting her friend wasn't even a thought that had crossed her mind. This was her moment to shine.

Brynn willingly fed me the information I needed without hesitation. She kept rubbing my arm and letting me know that she would be there for me whenever I needed her. She reminded me how cruel Riley was for making me feel this way and that there were other girls out there who would never treat me this way. When she finished blurting out all the details without realizing it, she gave me a longer than required hug and pressed her body tightly against me.

Fortunately for me, Brynn bought into my game.

Or, maybe I was playing into hers.

Either way, I did what had to be done for Riley—even if it made me violently ill.

Once I got everything I needed from Brynn, I pretended my mom was calling my phone and disappeared into the house before she could try to take things any further.  I didn't want to add Brynn's name to the growing list of things I needed to apologize to Riley about. It would probably end their so-called friendship, which wasn't the worst thing, but it definitely would have ruined my chance of ever seeing her again. 

That was how I ended up sitting in my car, driving myself insane with shitty music for background noise. 

The next song came on the radio and I hit the back button on my phone to start the Camo song all over again. The image of Riley in her tiny skirt, dancing just for me, flooded my senses as the lead singer moaned out the first verse. It was torture to listen to this crap over and over again while I imagined her here with me. It wasn't ideal, but it was the only thing I had to help me get through the endless wait. 

If I had my guitar with me, I would have pulled it out and continued working on the song I started writing after meeting her. It wasn't even close to finished yet.  I had been working on it around the clock between texting and calling Riley. No matter how hard I tried, I was never satisfied with my progress with it. It wasn't good enough for her.

Just like I wasn't.

The little voice in my head was pleading that she would never wise up and figure it out. The Camo song was dreadful, and it had easily tricked her into thinking it was worthy. That is why I still had a bit of hope that I could fool her too.

Tires sliding over loose gravel on the pavement sounded behind me. I reached up and angled my rearview mirror just in time to see an old clunky car pull up behind me slowly.  The brake pads squealed loudly, which made me terrified that the bandaids holding the vehicle together would come apart while it tried to stop. 

I didn't even need to see the driver to know who was behind the wheel.  I could already feel her inside my bones. Riley had become a part of who I was.  I couldn't explain it, but I didn't feel like I remembered who I was before she crashed into me.

I climbed out of the car quickly before Riley could bring the old trash heap to a complete stop. I was glad she didn't decide to swerve at the last second and smash the accelerator to take me down.  It had to mean I still stood a chance with her. 

That was my sign that we could work this out.

Riley's beautiful wide eyes never left me as she turned off the car. She took a few seconds to conceal her reaction to seeing me on her face before exiting. It didn't work because Riley was essentially a walking emotion on a pair of perfectly gorgeous thighs.

She wore her feelings as poorly as I did mine. She just looked better doing it.

As she got out of the car and walked closer to me, I resisted the urge to chuckle. The first thing I noticed was she was wearing her work again. Her uniform shirt was covered in little splotches of pizza sauce and she smelled like she swam in a vat of old vegetables.

The second thing I noticed was far less humorous than the first.

Riley looked extremely tired. I had never seen her look so worn down before.  There was something oddly different about her appearance that I couldn't quite put my finger on.  She looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

My girl must have had a long day. 

"Hey." I walked over to her and leaned against her rust bucket.  I shoved my hands in my pockets to resist the urge to grab ahold of her. I was trying to keep myself level and not do anything that would scare her off. We couldn't talk about what happened if she shut down on me. 

"You need to leave." Her door screeched as she slammed it. Then, before I could even blink, she darted past me and ran towards her house.

"Fuck." I grumbled under my breath and leaned my head back. Riley was not going to make this easy on me.  I might have deserved it, but it didn't mean I didn't hope she would forgive me instantly and come jumping in my arms.

As I watched her run away from me, I decided that I wasn't going to just give up. I didn't come here to end up going home alone in defeat. I was going to fight to try to make this work.

"Riley, please," I begged as I jogged up behind her. Riley's breath was erratic as she panicked and fumbled with her keys. She was struggling to find the right one that fit into the lock. 

When she finally found it, she shoved it in and turned it as soon as my foot hit the top step of the porch.  She threw the door open and reached back to slam it shut in my face.  My long limbs were the only reason she failed. 

Confusion crossed her face as she looked down at the spot where my foot was blocking the doorway. I had gotten it inside just in time to keep her from shutting me out. 

"Riley, don't be like this. Just talk to me." I fought to catch my breath as her beautiful face stole it. 

"I do not have anything to say to you. Leave me alone." My heart sunk when Riley's voice shook. She sounded like she was ready to burst out in tears any second.

Fuck, I can't believe how much I had screwed this up. 

Riley fought to try to shut the door again, but I wasn't going to let her get away without explaining to her what happened that night.  She had to know what really was going on with Mia and me when she walked in.

Riley tried to push the door closed again and sighed, giving up. She stepped away from the door to let me in. I walked inside and immediately tried to pull her to me.  She needed me to make it all better.  Riley waved her hands up in front of my chest to block me before I could wrap my arms around her.

It cut deeply when she wouldn't let me touch her.

"Ezra." Riley paused and let out a huge frustrated groan directed towards me. "It has been a really long day and I smell like a pizza that has been left in a hot car for a week. I'm not really in the mood to talk to you right now. You shouldn't have come here."

I couldn't argue with the description of the smell, but I disagreed with the part about me being there. I did exactly what I should have done the first night she ran away from me.

"You didn't give me much of a choice. I've been calling and texting you and you haven't picked up once. No one has heard from you for weeks. Everyone is worried about you. What else was I supposed to do?" I asked. My voice changed octaves midsentence and sounded whiney as I defended myself.

"Take a hint? Get in your car, drive away, go find some other poor girl who will put up with your shit. I'm sure Mia is available. You should call her." Riley was looking for the overly dramatic shock factor to push my buttons. 

She was really good at it.  

"I don't want Mia. I want you." I held her gaze so she could see the truth. No one else would ever make me feel the way she does. 

"Ezra, you were all over her and you didn't even think about me at all. You didn't even try to hide it. You threatened to do things with her because I wouldn't do what you wanted me to. You can't have it both ways. I am telling you now that I am done. We should have never hooked up in the first place. It was a bad idea for us to think we could fool around and come out of this without one of us getting hurt. I just happened to be the one who got hurt. We can't go back. We can't be friends. This has to end." She threw down the gauntlet without letting me interject my opinion.

If she could just fucking shut her mouth long enough to listen, I was about to tell her what she meant to me. I had never said these words to anyone else other than my mom.  They weren't easy to say, but I was ready for her to hear them.

"Riley, I..." I mumbled nervously.

I was about to tell her when she interrupted and cut me off without giving me a chance.

"Just go."


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