Chapter 8 - Freedom For A High Cost

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My mouth hung open while Helen shrieked. Norah's knees buckled and she collapsed. Victoria was covering her mouth, biting down a scream. Hannah was silent. We stood as still as statues for what felt like forever until Helen let out a shaky sentence.

"Is he dead?"

Norah scoffed, bitterly. "Well, there's no way he's alive."

I dropped the gun. Rain started to pour down like blood running from a deep wound.

"I- I didn't mean for this to happen," I said staring at the train tracks. I let out a whimper. "It was an accident."

"No one will believe that." Hannah walked over to me, giving me a stare like ice. "Not even I believe that."

I began to shake. What had I done?

Hannah looked at all of us, back at where his body should have been, and then at my weapon. Her hair was beginning to stick to her face from the rain. She grabbed Helen's arm and pulled her up from the muddy ground where she had just fallen.

"Don't get your clothes dirty." She motioned for Norah to get up as well.

"Are you serious, Hannah? The last thing I'm worried about right now is my clothes!" I could see the guilt was already eating Helen up. Her face scrunched up because of her frown and droopy eyebrows.

This was all my fault. I shouldn't have involved them in this. Now they'll pay the price of being forever traumatized.

"It's not about the clothes," Norah stated, looking numb. She had the look she did when she was solving a math problem. Blank. Passive. "She wants to cover it up - make it seem like we weren't here - like we didn't do this."

Spinning around to face Hannah, I could see this was true. She had that look in her eye. She was trying to be strong and lead the group like she always did. Though through the rain I could see the tears sliding down her face.

"It's up to Arielle. She did this. She gets to decide what we do."

For the first time in a while I was able to use my own voice, make my own choice but I didn't want to this time. I wanted to disappear. I wanted this to all go away. To be washed out by the water falling from the sky.

Helen shook her head hard. "Why can't we just call the cops? Ari said it was an accident. It was an accident."

"They won't buy it," Norah stated. "Our best bet is to cover it up."

They all looked to me, waiting for an answer. It was hard to be touched by the fact that they were about to cover up a murder for me with the cold rain seeping through my clothes and the weight of what just happened on my shoulders.

I took a shaky breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

Could I really live with this?

Could I really live in jail? Could I let the girls go to jail for me?

I opened them. "Fine. We'll cover this up."

Victoria gave me a torturous look that was still burned in the back of my mind months later. She didn't want to cover it up. She didn't want anything to do with it at all. But she still helped.

Of course, the memory of what happened in July decided to play in my head at the worst possible moment. I jolted up, forgetting that I was at the edge of a cliff, forgetting that I wasn't going to wake up in my bed.

The motion was enough for me to slide, the sand providing no resistance as my body got closer and closer to the edge. I let out a piercing shriek and dug my hands into the ground, trying to hold onto something. The sand slipped through my hands. My legs went off the edge first and then there was nothing beneath me.

I was free falling and I could tell it wasn't a dream. The intricacy of the stars in the sky, the icy air around me, and my limbs flailing as I fell were too precise to be conjured up.

There was no warning. My back slammed into the waves, the shock and pain too intense for me to process. I sunk into the water, helplessly watching as the surface got further and further from my reach and was tossed around until the directions of up and down were lost to me.

Panicking, I picked a direction and swam towards it, pushing my legs to propel myself upwards. I knew I was swimming in the right direction when my hand met the cool air. The surge of hope bubbling inside me was enough to get my head out of the water for a breath.

I took in air, consuming it hungrily before a current dragged me back down. The force was so strong and the waters were shallow enough that my back hit the bottom of the sea floor. Pain radiated from my spine, spreading the length of my entire body. My head collided with a rock and my vision blurred. I saw red float around me and with terror rising in my chest, realized it wasn't my hair. I wanted desperately to live but with my oxygen running low and my eyes growing heavy I doubted I would.

I felt myself go limp, my eyes shutting for good. Before they did, I caught a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. It was a flash of green or maybe a light blue. It moved quickly and snake like. I felt even more afraid. The last thing I needed was a deadly sea creature to make things worse.

A cold hand yanked at the pearl necklace around my neck, its nails scraping my chest. The silver chain snapped off and the water became warm with my blood. My eyes shot open and were met by another pair. Everything went black.

The sound of my heartbeat might have been fading away but the fear of what fate awaited me was enough to make death come faster.

________________

The seagulls irritatingly squawking was what woke me up. My eyes fluttered open as I tried to remember what happened. I remembered the party, yelling at Tori, and then falling off the cliff. I remembered hitting my head as the ocean pulled my under and I remembered something or someone grabbing me.

My hand shot up to my chest, searching for the necklace. It was gone. A set of scratch marks in its place.

It had actually happened.

I stared up at the blue sky in wonder.

I was alive?

Letting out a shaky breath, I tried to sit up carefully, afraid that I might have hurt myself, though nothing hurt now. I was on the sand and dusted my hand off. I reached to the back of my head to check for blood finding it had dried and was crusted in the hair around my wound. It ached dully. Everything other part of me seemed to be intact.

I was on the other side of the beach, opposite to the cliff and even more abandoned. Still in shock, I wondered what to do next. Maybe just walk home? I didn't think I was hurt that badly so there was no need for the hospital. I assumed it was noon because of the sun's position in the sky which meant my gran was up and noticed my absence.

I slowly stood up causing a few droplets of water to run down my face. Then my ears popped and a melody played in my head, it was so vivid it was almost like I was actually hearing it.

The melody was gentle and hypnotic, going a note higher with every verse. It was familiar yet so hard to place. It belonged to a woman and was opera like but so perfect it was inhumane. By far the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

The world around me blurred and swirled until it was just a canvas of colors. I squeezed my eyes shut and sat back down for a moment to collect myself.

How had I made it back to shore alive?

I didn't know but I was glad for it. Maybe the melody stuck in my head was a part of the trauma. I had almost died the same way my best friend did. That's pretty traumatic if you asked me.

And the mysterious set of eyes that I saw? I would have liked to call it a hallucination but the missing necklace and diagonal scratch marks said otherwise.

After a minute, I got up and headed to the cliff to reclaim my bike and go home. All the while, the melody played over and over in my head.

_______________

I expected a worried grandmother by the door when I arrived home, not a whole welcoming committee. As soon as I opened the front door there was a cluster of footsteps coming my way.

I straightened out my clothes which were now dry and rearranged my hair so that it covered the bloody lump on my scalp. I put on a blank expression as the faces of my friends and grandmother greeted me.

"Arielle!" My grandmother gave me a giant hug and then pulled back to look at me. "You smell like the beach. Where have you been?"

The girls were standing in front of the stairs, all of the looking revealed except for Hannah. Her arms were crossed and she was scowling at me like I

"I'm sorry." Luckily, on the way back from the beach I thought of a lie. "I woke up early for bike ride to the beach and back. Didn't mean to worry you." My eyes met the floor, I hated lying to her.

My grandmother sighed and shook her head. "You can't just run off like that. You have to let me know when you leave the house or else I'm going to have a heart attack."

"I promise, I won't do it again."

"Very well," she said, stress leaving her face. "You're friends were worried about you as well. I'll let you all talk." She ambled away and the second she was out of view Hannah was scolding me.

"You're lying. What happened last night? We're your friends, Ari! You can't just leave us in the dark like this."

I sighed, trying to find some patience. After what I said last night, I no longer felt the need to tell Hannah and the others about everything going on in my life. They didn't need to know it all. They wouldn't understand it all.

"After Pete drove me home I biked to the beach. I fell asleep on the sand." I wanted desperately to tell someone I just had a near death experience but even I had a hard time any of it happened so I decided to keep it to myself.

"What were you doing on the beach?" Norah asked, her voice rising. "That's the last place you should be after . . . after Tori."

"I was tired and wasn't thinking straight." It wasn't a complete lie.

Helen huffed, her chest dropping dramatically. "I'm glad you're okay." She came over and gave me a side hug. "Did you and Zac hit off last night?"

"Yeah," I lied, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Norah. Helen. Didn't you say you were going to the cafe? You better hurry if you want a table, it gets packed during the weekend," Hannah suggested a small smile in her face. "I'm just going to catch up with Ari."

As soon as the front door closed behind the girls, the brunette sharpened her gaze and the smile dropped off her face. She tilted her head towards the stairs and stalked up them, leaving me to follow her lead in my own house. When we reached my room I let her in, only because I had decided it was the last time she would boss me around. I had came to terms with my feelings last night and now it was time to act on them.

Hannah didn't bother to take in the room considering it was her first time inside it. Instead, she settled in the center.

"I thought the reason why you never spoke much was because you were shy," she theorized. "But now I know that's because when you do talk all that comes out are lies."

I huffed and went over to the door, letting it close behind us so my grandmother wouldn't hear.

"You're never completely honest with me. Why do I have to be with you?" My voice laced with a new found assertiveness.

She scoffed and put a hand on her chest, mockingly. "Me? Dishonest. Never."

"Tell me," I sat on my bed, maintaining a relaxed appearance though my heart was beating fast in my chest, "what makes you more deserving of the truth?"

Hannah bore her eyes into me. It was shocking. For once, she didn't know what to say. I could see the wheels spinning behind her forest green eyes.

"I'm asking the questions here." There she went. Redirecting the conversation, readministering the power. Typical.

"Fine," I hissed. "Ask away."

She paced closer, trying to make me feel trapped. I understood her tactics well already.

"What happened between you and Zac last night? He upset you."

I lifted a shoulder. "You said it yourself. He upset me."

"How?"

"Next question." Boundaries. Something Hannah wasn't use to.

Her eyebrows shifted ever so slightly and the corner of her lips turned down. She was trying to understand what was happening. It made me smile.

"You've been hanging out with Pete. What's up with that? And don't tell me it's nothing." Her posture straightened as she started to gain confidence. She thought she had found a tear in my armor and she was going to try and stretch it as far as she could to make me feel weaker and guilty.

I didn't let her.

"Our friendship is not your concern."
Hannah was infuriated. Her face was flushed and her hands balled into fist. I never realized how childish she could become.

"You lied about what you were doing today. You're head is bleeding and you have a scratch on your chest." She pointed out with a pitiful look. "Your health is my concern. You obviously got yourself into some trouble. I'm just trying to help you out."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Didn't she know I knew better than to buy the whole 'caring' act?

Hannah's eyes remained locked on my neck. "Where's the necklace?" Her voice was a weak whisper.

The image of the pair of eyes piercing mine flashed through my vision. I still couldn't work out what happened. There was no way to answer the question even if I wanted to.

"I lost it." I took a deep breath and uttered the words that would change everything. "Just like I need to lose the group."

I expected her jaw to drop, instead she remained still and unexpressive. A steady stream of air was flowing through my window, letting in a breeze that tossed my hair around, causing the scent of the salty sea water to fill my nostrils. The scent urged me to continue.

"Hannah, I'm not going to give you some heart filled speech about why because you know why. This environment that we've created is toxic. I can't do it anymore." Standing as tall as possible, I went right up to her, face to face. "I won't."

A moment of silence. Then a laugh. A sinister chuckle erupted from her mouth. She covered her purple colored lips in a poor attempt to stop. "I'm sorry- it's just - that's the funniest thing I've heard all week."

Each bouncing laugh was like a punch to my face. I tried not to let it show.

"Tell me you're not serious. You're not that stupid, are you?"

I didn't budge.

Her eyes widened. "Hate to burst your bubble and shatter your newly found independence but you are nothing without us." She pointed a finger at my chest. "You are nothing without me."

My hands were sweaty and shaking. I swallowed. "I rather be nothing than a power hungry monster."

She was back to laughing, strolling my room with a distant stare. "That's rich coming from you," she snarled. "Did you forget about your involvement in all of those 'power hungry' acts? And did you forget about what you did last July?"

I bit my lip. I couldn't back out now. I couldn't let her win.

"No, but I want to change. I don't want to be that person anymore."

"You're a trader. You're about to abandon your friends. You're only friends. We won't forget that. Especially with Tori gone."

I shrugged, not trusting my voice. She trailed a finger along my cheek, I felt repulsed by her touch.

"But I guess that's fine. We know who our real allies are now." Her taunting wouldn't cease if I let her go on.

"I'm done, Hannah." The words hit me harder than they would ever hit her. It was like I was crippled and willingly tossed my crutches in the trash. I was laying down my shield in the middle of a war. I was giving a strong player a reason to fight against me.

"Okay."

It was eerily quiet. I looked around as if expecting an avalanche or something extremely chaotic about to happen, which I did. The answer was too simple. There had to be more.

Hannah strutted over to the door, her earnings swinging as she went. Then she paused, her hand rested on the handle.

"I hope you realize what this means. When a friendship is broken, things change drastically." She glanced back at me, challengingly. "Starting with the fact that I do not have to keep any of your secrets any more. Friends keep secrets. We won't be friends."

I was listening now. "What do you mean?"

"I'll give an example. What you did in July- no longer my problem." She smiled, wickedly. "I could just let it spill like wine on a carpet."

Suddenly, the world around me was spinning. My heart wasn't able to pump blood fast enough and the oxygen was being drained out of the room. "You wouldn't," I croaked. "You couldn't. You- you were involved. W-we'd all be screwed-"

She shook her finger. "It would be so easy to spin the story around, Ari." She left the door and began to circle me like a predator. Her face shifted into deep sadness and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Detective Brookes. I wanted to tell the police sooner but I was afraid Arielle would hurt me. She was so wicked and manipulative. She made sure I wouldn't tell!"

"Shut up."

"She dragged us out that night, told us we were going to play a silly prank. Then she-"

"Shut up!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face before I could stop them. "That's not true."

"My word against yours. And I'm pretty sure we could build an easy case against you." Hannah checked her nails, snapping out of her act, looking bored.

The worst part was that I knew it wasn't bluff. She would do it in the blink of an eye in spite of me. Her hatred towards me didn't blossom out of nowhere, I believed she had that anger for everyone locked away inside of her, even the ones she was friends with. She was a ticking time bomb.

"You can't do that me." I was trembling and hated myself for it. I never felt so weak in my life. She had me wrapped around her finger again. "Please."

She sighed. "That would be mean, wouldn't it? How about I make it fair with a deal?"

My heart was tangled in dread. Hannah's deals were hardly deals. Often times, the party she was up against lost either way but I had no choice but to agree.

I nodded.

"Okay. Let me think." She tapped her chin and stared up at my intricately designed ceiling. There were glow in the dark wires set up to portray a beautiful picture at night. "I've got it!"

I sat down, knowing I may not be able to handle what was going to be said next.

"In the spirit of my failed attempt to get you and Zac together, the deal is you need to get a boy to kiss you. Can't be any boy. Nah, that'll be to easy with your pretty face." She winked and I could feel the sarcasm. She knew I didn't think much of myself and was going to use that. "It has to be . . . how do I put it? True loves kiss? Like in the movies."

My head hurt just thinking about it. "You're telling me I have to get someone to fall in love with me?"

She nodded, eagerly. "And they have to kiss you to prove it." She walked over placing a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. With your charming history and 'power hungry', submissive, weak characteristics it shouldn't be that hard. And don't underestimate the importance of body language!"

Bile rose in my throat. I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I focused on the view of the beach outside my window, trying to steady my breathing. "How long do I have?"

"A month"

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