Chapter 20 - Ruin

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I did not allow myself to feel the weight of the words he spoke, I did not allow myself to picture a world in which I said I felt the same and I did not gaze into his eyes a moment longer.

Maybe he thought I wasn't a murderer. Maybe he thought I was deserving of affection. None of that changed that getting involved with me would put the already broken boy in even more danger than he already was. My stalker drugged him and placed my necklace in his pocket to scare us. It was their way of showing off the power they held. It was their way of stating they could easily frame whoever they wanted. This person was still out there and there was no way I could risk dragging Pete further into it all. Not to mention the detectives were just waiting for a romance to bud in between Pete and I to use as motive. They might have had the case closed as a suicide at the moment but I had a strong feeling that Brooks would open it back up in a heartbeat if given the chance.

I had to do what was best for him. Maybe one day he would understand.

Stepping away from him, I scoffed. "Falling for me? Rich move, going after your dead girlfriend's best friend!"

He blinked, trying to register what was going on. "What?"

"I am not a replacement. I'm not Victoria and I will never be Victoria!" I guess a part of me did find this concerning. What if he was trying to replace Victoria with me? What if I was just a way to numb the pain of losing her?

He shook his head. "When did I ever say that?"

I fumbled for words. "You didn't have to! At first, I thought we were just two people bonding over missing a girl . . ."

"And that's what it was in the beginning but then I got to know you! This isn't about Victoria-"

I shoved him backwards in an ugly fit of aggression. "No, from the start you were making your move on the next best thing. Did you ever even love her?!"

That one hurt. I could see it in his eyes.

"Or were you using her for popularity? Or maybe just kisses?"

His nostrils flared. "Stop it."

The way he was looking at me now - the way people used to look at me when I was in Hannah's group - tore at my chest. I had to make sure he would stay away for good even though I was wincing before the words came out of my mouth.

"Look at the similarities! You shared Victoria with Zac and now your sharing me with him!"

Pete took a step back like I had shoved him again. He bit his lip to hold in the emotions that were obviously fighting to make their way to the surface. "Wow."

"I can't be too cross at you because honestly I was using you too. Watching you be pathetically miserable over a girl who killed herself rather than be with you was quite entertaining! And going after her friend! Thinking her friend could ever want you in return! Ha! Really Pete, you've out done yourself-"

"Stop," his voice cracked. "You are not mean or a murderer, Arielle. Those are not your faults. You are a coward."

That was all he offered. No dramatic or aggressive rebuttal. It made it even more difficult to bare when he started to quietly pack up the picnic and walk towards the boat. He helped me on it, rowed us back, and walked me home as the cherry on top. All in an emotionless, robotic manner. It's like he knew his chivalry and silence would cause more damage than a retaliation.

He was right. It did hurt me. So much.

My gran was fast asleep at home. She was curled up on the couch, the tv still playing. She was probably trying to wait up until I came back home. I placed a blanket over and shut off the television before heading upstairs. The dress was flung to the side and landed on floor because I couldn't see through the tears.

I curled up on my bed and sobbed until my chest hurt.

If I was doing the right thing than why did it hurt so bad?

The days scene replayed over and over in my mind. In someway it had been the best and worst date of my life but more importantly it marked the day I lost one of the truest friends I had ever had. Not only did I lose him but I hurt him. It was a sacrifice that had to made but it made me feel more alone than ever.

Refusing to cry myself to sleep, I took out some paper and began sketching the sea turtles from memory.

I can find my way, I told myself. I'll make it out of this town in one piece even if its only with the moon to guide me.

That night I dreamt of Victoria.

It was a memory of when Helen had said we were all like sisters. The statement made Victoria flinch. She explained that best friends were better than sisters because sisters had to share everything and never got a break from each other while best friends were like sisters on the surface. You can pour out your heart to them, have a good time with them but in the end the bond isn't forever. They're escapable if necessary. Besides, you chose your friends. A sister, however, you are stuck with.

Of course, this was a very negative way to view family. It kind of astounded me that a girl so sweet natured could think like that.

She was wrong though.

Sometimes, you get stuck with 'best friends'. Sometimes, they aren't escapable. She probably later realized that along with the rest of us.

---------------

It had to be about 3 am when I heard my phone ring beside me. It surprised me and for a second I was discombobulated. My face was buried in a pile of sketches and sticky from a mixture of dried tears and sweat. My makeup was all over the place and my smudged purple lipstick looked more like a bruise now.

I blindly felt around my bed for the device to find it on the ground. Desperate to end the repetitive ringing I answered the call before viewing the caller ID.

"Hello?" my voice was husky with sleep.

"Hey . . ."

I cleared my throat still not completely sure who was on the other line. "Uh, yes?"

"You probably deleted my number. Frankly, I'm shocked you haven't blocked it." The person sniffled and took a shaky breath. "It's Norah. I-I need someone to talk to and I know I've been treating you horribly but-"

"Norah? What are you doing at this hour?"

"Standing outside your house . . ." She answered sheepishly. "Surprise."

Throwing a shirt over my head, I trudged down the stairs. "Why's that?"

She sobbed, a squeaky broken sound I had never heard from her. "Because you were right." The sadness in her voice deeply resembled the sadness in mine's just a few hours prior. I immediately knew what she was speaking about as I opened the door to let her in.

She stood there drenched in rain that blended with her tears. I reached for her with open arms. "What did he do?"

She collapsed into my arms, shaking from the rain. "I should have listened when you said something was off! Deep down, I knew something was off! Arielle, he was pretending all this time! It was an act!"

I smoothen out her hair. "Slow down. What happened?"

She pulled away, shoulders drooping and eyebrows pinched together. "Theo's a cop. He was using me to investigate what happened to Victoria."

My jaw dropped. I knew something didn't add up but this seemed extreme. "Theo is an undercover cop? Are you sure?"

"Why do you think he was always asking so many questions? That he conveniently transferred schools right after a murder? That he 'fell for me' so quickly? He's a detective."

Norah was right. It did make sense. "What convinced you?"

She crossed her arms over herself, shuddering at the memory. "I found a gun and badge in his bag earlier today. I made up an excuse and got out of there right away so I wouldn't give away I knew."

I closed the door behind her and led her upstairs. Once we were comfortably seated I asked, "You don't want him to know you know for a reason. Are you planning something?" Suddenly, it felt like I was back in Hannah's group, conspiraring some genius plan to get what we want. However, this time it was different. We were under our own rule and thinking about self-defense.

"He played me, Ari. He made me believe that he loved me. He stole time from me and wrapped me around his finger like a fool," she said through gritted teeth. "Now I'm going to use him in return. I'm going to find out what he knows and make sure he can't pin Tori's death on us because let's face it - that's all these detetives have been trying to do!"

"That's a smart move. It could work."

"And it will work. I'll make sure of it." The determination in her eyes, back dropped by the stormy night behind her was almost frightening. Theo - if that was even his name - had messed with the wrong girl. He was going to remember Norah and remember how brutally she turned the tables on him.

-------------------------

If Theo was still around and investigating Victoria's case, that meant that even the professionals didn't believe the idea of suicide. If that wasn't a reason to continue looking - than what was? That's why I spent my afternoon flipping through Victoria's old journal in the school library.

Shelby had gotten word that Zac hadn't showed for our date. She was sitting behind the bookshelf I had my back pressed against, huffing as she flipped through the pages of a Psychology textbook. Her lavender hair was in a braided crown today and she was wearing a baggy hoodie with skin tight leggings. As she complained about Zac, I complained about the concept of her outfit.

"It doesn't make a lot of sense in theory. You're wearing something really loose and something really tight. It's like you couldn't decide so you-"

"Alrighty fire head, I won't get annoyed at that one only because your deflecting your hurt about the failed date onto me," she said smugly.

"I'm not hurt-"

Shelby reached her hand between the books in the shelf and knocked me on the head. "Accept it! You really like him and he let you down! The first step to healing is acceptance."

I shoved a few books onto her and stuck my tongue out. "You can't become a therapist over one psychology book."

"I'll have you know I'm a psychology wizard."

"Mhm."

After a few pages of flipping skimming through Victoria's mind I noticed I may have been overlooking something. There were notes scribbled in the margins of nearly every entry. Most of it was sloppy and seemed like nonsense but one of the notes stood out.

It was the URL of a website followed by Find dirt on Hannah's tree.

It was almost enough to make me laugh for the first time all day.

Hannah's tree? Hannah was no tree hugger but the only way to find out what she meant was the look up the website.

Dusting myself off to go find a library computer to use, I spotted someone I wasn't prepared to see.

His hair was tousled in a messy manner, the way it was for weeks after Victoria's death. He was wearing his swimming team sweatshirt and ripped jeans while sorting through a pile of books about marine life. He was focused on the present task which is why I thought I would go unspotted but - as if he could feel me looking at him - he caught my eye. I held my breath for what felt like the longest second of my life before he walked away with new sense of urgency, a book with a sea turtle on the cover tucked under his arm.

"Aw, Arielle! Do you want me to say something to him?" Shelby offered from behind me.

My eyebrows knitted together. I didn't tell her about Pete. "What?"

"He has some nerve just standing there and not explaining himself to you." I retraced her gaze and found that is wasn't Pete she was looking at. It was Zac.

He stood at a computer, shyly staring at me - or maybe he wasn't acting shy but shameful. I wasn't in the mood to face him but I did need to use the computer he was hovering around.

Without answering Shelby, I marched over to the computer muttering an "excuse me". He inched out of the way as I sat down but remained hovering over me while fidgeting with his sleeves.

"I'm sorry, Arielle. I know I messed up by not showing up."

"It's fine," I said even though it wasn't. I was dreading seeing Hannah in the halls. She would probably ask about how the date went and though I could lie and say we kissed - she would probably find out the truth anyways. While I still had time to complete the deal by getting "true loves kiss" at Hannah's request, finding a new person in such a short amount of time seemed unlikely.

"Please don't hate me." The boy had bags under in eyes and was shaking the way he did that night at the Halloween party. "I may not see you again for a while and this isn't how I want to part ways."

"Your leaving?"

His eyes scanned the library and he lowered his voice, getting closer so that I was the only one who could hear him. "I have to lay low for awhile. For my safety. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Why? Why aren't you safe?"

"This is not how things are suppose to be. I've ruined everything . . ." His eyes grew distant.

I was no longer angry at him but worried. I grasped his arm. "Hey, you can tell me what's going on. Let me help you."

"I can't. It isn't safe."

Zac was obviously in a bad state of mind. I was anxious about what he might do if he was alone or 'left' like he was saying he would do. Not to mention my curiosity about his predicament was already killing me. "I'll protect you. Stay and explain to me what's going on."

He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "It was always supposed to be the other way around."

Then he was gone, exiting the library in his usual grace. Pete exited the same doors right behind him, after giving me a pointed look. There was nothing I could do to help either of them at the moment. I would have to accept it.

Shelby strolled over. "I'm sensing some serious tension." She snatched the diary out of my hand and piled it on top of her psychology book. "Lets get some lunch and then you can go back to whatever nerdy research your doing."

Whilst having lunch with Shelby, I half listened to her rant about the boys in this town and half searched through the website I found in Tori's journal on my phone. The website was dedicated to containing information regarding ancestry.

If I was correct Victoria was on this site to look for some of information on Hannah's family - most likely to use against her. Yet, if that were true that meant Victoria was looking for a way to backstab Hannah. Maybe she wanted to get something or get out of something.

Tori was onto something. Maybe instead of trying to please Hannah with the deal, I should be looking for a way out of it. Hannah was kind of off her game lately . . . That could work for me.

Refocusing on the task at hand, I searched up Hannah's family figuring if I did so I would get a peek at whatever Victoria might have found or not found.

Her family moved here when she was young. Most of her family seemed to be from Seattle and going further back Russia. However, I found that her great great great grandmother lived in this exact town. Her name was Regina Petrov and was the daughter of a baker and pawn shop owner.

That wasn't what was intriguing about her.

She died at the age of 19. I was mind boggled and automatically questioned how the family line continued when I found that she had a child at 18.

Cause of death: Drowning

Location: Raven's Eye Beach

I stiffened. Victoria drowned on the very same beach.

I felt my skin go cold as I looked up police reports. Somehow expecting to find a correlation. The reports were simple and tragic.

Regina Petrov was out cliff diving on her own on a night with rough waters. She drowned at approximately 10:09 pm. Her body was recovered by her fiance and parents at 8:00 am on the shore.

It was an eerie coincidence but a coincidence nonetheless. I tried to silence the side of me that wanted to linger on the similarities and the aburdity of someome cliff diving on their own at night. Still, I kept the information tucked in my saved pages.

I wondered if Hannah knew about her relative Regina Petrov and whether she made the same connection I did. Maybe was inspired by her?

Shelby was arriving at the climax of the story she was telling so I began to tuck my phone away. The sudden vibrating and flashing stopped me.

The camera on the front of my phone glowed green and my face was reflected on the screen. Then words started to type themselves out.

Quit searching. I'm watching your every move.

I dropped my phone into my bag and took a breath to ease my heartrate.

The stalker was back. This meant I was close to finding the truth. Somehow Hannah's ancestor Regina Petrov was connected to Victoria's death. Still, I couldn't begin to fathom how the two connected. Regina died many years before any of us were born. The only way it made sense in my mind was that there was some outside factor that has remained constant after all these years.

Things had just became way more complicated.

Authors Note - As I'm getting towards the end of this story I'm realizing that this is indeeed a rough ROUGH draft. There is a range of things that need fixing but I would appreciate it if you all could help with plot holes, inconsistencies, and things you would have liked to happen or been further explored! I don't need a five paragraph essay but if anything comes to mind, let me know in the comments or direct message me!

Thanks guys! I hope you're enjoying the book for the work in progress it is!

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