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Four days.

I've been at home by myself for four days. I haven't worked at The Wreck. I haven't answered any texts or calls from anyone. I haven't done much of anything besides lay in bed.

My parents are concerned. I won't talk to them about it; I can't. It would raise too many questions. Questions I didn't want to answer, or even think about answering.

For four days the ache in my chest has grown more painful, more prominent. It's stupid really, and I hate myself for feeling this way. It's ridiculous, I know. I'm acting like I was dumped after years of being with someone, and JJ and I were never even together. I entertain the idea of reaching out to Kie for someone to talk to, but she's too close to the situation.

One text comes through that makes me change my thinking, though. When Sarah's name lights up my screen, I actually open the message.

Sarah๐Ÿท
Hey, you okay? John B is
worried about you

I sigh.

Yeah I figure. I haven't answered
any of his messages the
last few days. Just kinda been
holing up in my room.

Sarah๐Ÿท
Wanna talk about it? Come
stay with me. I have wine.

I think about the offer. A chance to get out of this house without risk of seeing him. A chance to talk to someone who is impartial. I'm nodding to myself as I type out my reply.

Yeah. That would be great.
I'll see you in half an hour.

I climb out of bed and shove some clothes into my backpack. I slide my feet into a pair of flip flops and throw my bag on my shoulder as I leave my bedroom. I find my parents in the living room watching the news. They look up at me in surprise when they see me.

"Hey, um, I'm gonna stay the night at Sarah's tonight," I say.

"Okay, honey," mom says with a sad smile.

"See you in the morning." I grab my keys off the peg and take off out the door.

I breathe in the fresh salt air as I drive across Figure 8 to Tannyhill. Her house comes into view after only a few minutes, and she waits at the front door for me as I pull up. She wraps me in a hug as I walk in.

"You look like hell," she says.

"Thanks," I reply sarcastically.

"Come on, Sunny," she says, leading me through the house and upstairs. We go into her room. Two bottles of wine rest on her nightstand. She opens one and hands it to me before sitting on her bed and patting the spot beside her. "Tell mama all about it."

I sigh and take a long pull from the wine bottle. "I don't know where to begin."

"Then I'll start," she says, taking the bottle from me. "Here's what I know. John B is worried about you. You haven't left your house in days. You aren't responding to his calls or texts. And then there's JJ." My heart aches at the sound of his name. "He's been at the chateau every day, in a daze. He won't talk to him either. He just wanders around mumbling 'I fucked it up', but he won't say what. It's obvious it's connected."

I take the wine back and tilt the bottle back for another long drink. I chug down a few gulps and take a breath. "He was my best friend."

"You say that as if you aren't anymore."

"I don't even know," I say.

"So what happened?"

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, preparing to share the whole story. I need to get it out, if not just for my own sanity. "We've been best friends since we were little." I take another drink. "But here recently, we've really been straddling the line of friendship versus... more. Especially since Tyler and I broke up. He was there for that." I pause for another drink. "And I've always had a little thing for him, but we were friends, you know? So I pushed it to the back of my mind. But then he kissed me at John B's one night, and I kind of just let myself fall in the deep end. We hooked up after that party the four of us went to in the cut the other night. The one where you and John B started dating," I say, and she smiles. "And then the next day it was awkward and we didn't talk about it all day, and then he texts me and says we should talk about it, and I meet him at the Gold Coast. On the way over there I was psyching myself up to tell him I was falling for him, and then I get there and he says it never should've happened. Like he regretted it. My plan fell apart at my feet. I made him leave and I stayed and cried on the beach for an hour. And I haven't talked to him since." I wipe away a stray tear as I finish.

Sarah purses her lips together and looks at me. "Look, Sunny, I know I don't know much about this situation, but if you could've seen the look on his face these last few days..."

"Don't," I tell her. "Don't try to make me feel better about this. I just need to get over him and move on."

"I don't think that's the solution. I think you need to tell him how you feel, for real."

"I don't think he wants to hear it," I say as I take another drink of the wine. "He's not really a 'feelings' kind of person, if you haven't noticed."

"You can't keep this in. It'll eat you alive," she says. "Promise me you'll at least think about it."

"I'll think about it," I say, giving in.

"Good," she says with a smile.

*******************************
We polish off both bottles of wine and I pass out soon after, drifting off into a fitful sleep. When I wake the next morning, Sarah is smiling.

"You were saying his name in your sleep," she says.

I groan and rub my hands over my face. "I'll talk to him today," I say, resigned to the fact that I'm going to do it.

Sarah makes me breakfast while I get a shower, and we eat together while she hypes me up.

"You can do this. You got this," she tells me.

"Yeah. Yeah," I say, trying to convince myself. I pull out my phone and open his message thread, the last message from five days ago. I stare at it for a moment before turning off my screen and laying the phone on the counter. "No. I can't."

"Sunny, come on. He's probably still at John B's. We can go together?" She picks up my phone and presses it into the palm of my hand. "Go get your bag. We're going now. I'll let John B know." She lightly pushes me off the barstool and towards the stairwell.

My feet drag as I make my way up the stairs to get my things. I turn on autopilot as I gather my belongings and throw everything into my backpack before descending the stairs. She follows me in silence out to my Jeep. As we get in and start to drive, I find myself wishing that the drive to the chateau would be longer, so I could have more time to sort out what I want to say. It only takes us minutes to get there.

As suspected JJ is there. His bike is on its kickstand in the driveway next to John B's van. I shut off the Jeep after parking and sit there in the drivers seat, staring at the house.

"It's now or never," she says, placing a hand on my arm.

I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Okay," I say shakily. I climb out of the Jeep and pocket my keys as I follow Sarah up the steps.

Inside the house, it's quiet. John B appears from the kitchen. He wraps me in a hug. I hug him back, tighter than I normally would. "He's in the spare room," he says softly. "We'll be outside." He takes Sarah's hand and leads her out back. I hear the door shut behind them.

Every muscle in my body is coiled tight, ready to snap. I force myself to walk down the hallway to the spare bedroom. The door is closed. I lift a shaky hand and knock twice.

"For fuck's sake, John B, I don't want to talk to you," JJ says through the door. He sounds exhausted.

"I-It's Sunny," I manage to choke out.

Silence.

I raise my hand to knock again, but I hear the bed creak and the shuffle of footsteps come towards the door. The door opens halfway. Sad eyes stare down at me. "What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I came to talk," I tell him.

He opens the door all the way and steps back, motioning for me to come in. He shuts the door behind me. I get a good look at him now. He looks awful. He has dark circles under his eyes and his hair is in more of a disarray than normal. He seems empty.

"We haven't talked in five days. We haven't gone that long without speaking since we met," I start.

"Has it only been five days?" he asks. "It seems longer."

"Yeah." It's quiet between us for a moment before I get the courage to speak again. "I hate that you regret what happened between us."

He looks at me with questioning eyes. "I don't regret it, Sunny."

Now it's my turn to question. "You said it was a bad idea and it shouldn't have happened."

"Yeah, because you clearly don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you, and Iโ€”"

"I don't really know how you feel about me, JJ," I interject, cutting him off. "You've never actually said it. And you keep everything bottled up inside all the time..."

"If you know the truth, that gives you the ability to hurt me, and I have enough hurt to deal with already," he says bitterly.

My chest throbs. "I would never hurt you."

He sighs. "I know that, butโ€”"

"What are you scared of?"

"That you don't feel the same," he says quietly.

"You're just talking in circles," I sigh.

He's quiet for a moment. "Why is this so hard?" he asks.

I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. His body relaxes and he wraps his arms around my back. I listen to his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

"I've missed this," I whisper.

"Me too. I shouldn't have said what I said the other night. It didn't come out the way I wanted it to."

"Then try again," I urge him.

He draws in a deep breath. "What I should've said was that it shouldn't have happened when we were drunk. I was hammered for the best night of my life." He sighs. "I can't do 'just friends' anymore. I need... more. I need you, and that's so fucking hard for me to admit, because I've never needed anyone before."

I pull back just enough to look up at him. "You need me?"

"Like air in my lungs," he replies.

I place my hand on the back of his neck and pull his face down to mine. I kiss him softly, slowly, trying to show him how much I need him, too. He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to mine.

"So is this it? Are we done fucking around?" I ask, unable to fight the smile on my face.

"Oh, we have so much fucking around to do," he says.

"JJ," I swat at him. "You know what I mean. Are we...?"

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. You're all mine now," he says, hugging me again. "I don't know how to be a boyfriend, but I'll figure it out I guess," he chuckles nervously.

"I'll teach you," I say with a smile.

He rolls his eyes. "Come on, I want to tell the others." He grabs me by the hand and pulls me along with him, heading outside to find John B and Sarah. They're sitting across from each other at the picnic table. They look up at us as we join them in the yard.

"So how goes it?" John B says a little too casually.

JJ beams. "She's my girlfriend now," he says excitedly. He pulls me into his side and hugs me tight.

"Aww," Sarah says.

"About fucking time," John B adds.

"Shut up," I say as JJ turns my face towards his and kisses me again. I hear a click. "Did you take a picture?" I ask Sarah.

"Yeah, I'm sending it to you now," she says, and I hear my phone ding in my pocket.

I pull out my phone and open the message with the picture. JJ looks at it over my shoulder. "Aww look at us," he says. It is a cute picture.

"Don't go soft on me, JJ," I say as I save it to my phone.

"Oh, I'll never be soft around you," he says so only I can hear, and I burst out laughing at the innuendo.

"This picture should go in the group chat," I say, looking up at him.

"Let me send it," he says.

"Okay. I'm sending it to you now," I tell him.

His phone dings in his pocket and his thumbs fly over the screen as he saves the picture and sends it, with no explanation of course, to the group chat. "Now we wait for the reactions," he says. They're instantaneous.

Kie๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ
Does this mean what I think it means?

Pope๐Ÿค“
It's about damn time, y'all

Kie๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ
I'm gonna need a full explanation for both of y'all disappearing off the face of the earth for almost a week

I'll call you later and we'll talk.

"What are you gonna tell her?" JJ asks me.

"What do you mean? I'm gonna explain why I was a hermit for the last few days."

"I think we should talk a little more first," he says. He eyes Sarah and John B, who are pretending not to listen.

"Yeah, let's go back inside," I suggest.

"Actually, you guys stay here, I gotta get ready for work," John B says, standing up from the table. "Come on Sarah, you can help me get dressed," he says suggestively.

"Wrap it before you tap it, JB!" JJ calls to him as they go into the house. He turns back to me. "So..."

"I had a really bad few days after we met up at the Gold Coast," I begin. "When you asked me if I was crying... I was."

He frowns. "I knew it."

"I cried for a long time. I thought I lost you. I stayed in my room for four days thinking everything was fucked up between us. Sarah pulled me out of it last night. I stayed with her and I told her everything."

"I haven't slept since we met up. I couldn't. I knew I had said the wrong thing, but I was too scared to try to fix it. I wasn't sure if you had feelings for me like I do for you," he says.

I chuckle. "We are two of the most stubborn people ever."

"I just didn't think someone like you would ever want someone like me. You're perfect and I'm damaged goods."

"JJ," I say sadly. I wrap my arms around him. "You're not damaged goods. You're perfect just the way you are."

"I'm still worried about this, Sunny. I've never dated anyone before. What if I fuck it up?" he says into my hair.

"Remember all those times you said Tyler wasn't good for me, or that he didn't treat me right?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Yeah," he replies.

"So whatever it was that he did that made you say those things, just like... do the opposite. Do whatever it is you thought you would do if you had been in his position."

"You make it sound easy. I just really don't want to screw this up. And I really, really like you," he says, cupping my face in his hands.

I feel a smile take over my face. "I really, really like you, too. Now kiss me," I demand.

He chuckles. "You know I can't say no to you." He dips his head and attaches his lips to mine. I swipe my tongue along his bottom lip to deepen the kiss. I have to catch my breath when he pulls away a few moments later.

"How many times are we going to have to kiss before I don't have to catch my breath afterwards anymore?" I ask.

"I don't know, I guess we'll just have to keep doing it," JJ says, leaning in for yet another kiss. "However," he says once he pulls away again. "I actually have to work today, too, so we'll have to work on it later."

I pout. "You can't call off?"

"I've already called off two days in a row. I kind of need to go," he says.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I probably should head home anyway, my parents were pretty concerned with my zombie routine the last few days. I'll have to explain everything to them. Well, a censored version," I say with a laugh.

"You're going to tell your parents about us?" he asks.

"Do you not want me to?" I ask him.

"No, it's not that. I'm just surprised, that's all."

"I think my mom is going to be smug about it. She said she thought you liked me," I tell him, and he laughs.

"It was obvious to everyone but you," he says.

I shrug. "Water under the bridge now. I'll let you get to work," I say, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him one final time.

Sarah and John B come back out of the chateau. "Perfect timing. JJ has to work, so I'm ready to leave when you are," I tell Sarah.

"Cool, lets go."

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