Nathan

Kai has a beautiful smile on his face the whole day. I'm glad that for once, I'm  the reason for it. He is someone I may never get again in this life. The odds that he likes me are one in a million and this time, I want to make everything right.

No matter who tries to bring us apart, I'm not letting him go.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Raven asks, making me stop staring at him, during lunch. 

"Nothing," I smile. "Just thinking."

"Mm, you know you can tell me anything right? I'm always here to listen!"

"I know Raven. It's nothing, I promise."

"Did you get over your fight with Kai then? He seems in a better mood now. Although I think it's something to do with Sam too," she smiles, fondly looking over to him.

"Yeah, you know us, always butting heads over the smallest things," I shrug. "We've been normal with each other since, well, since the game."

"What happened over the weekend? I mean, you didn't seem to take the news about him and Sam too well."

My cheeks heat up in embarassment and guilt. She doesn't know anything. She would break when she finds out but she deserves honesty. From Kai at least, since he's known her longer. But I'll have to ask him if he's ready. He will probably kill me if I tell her without warning him first.

"Yeah, well, me and Sam... have a rough past. I know Sam and he can be awfully manipulative when he wants to be. I guess I didn't want Kai to be... hurt in any way."

"Aw, that's sweet of you. Kai was in two minds about Sam too. I thought their fling was over for a while. But then on Halloween, I found out they were still messing around. Kai hadn't told anyone of us about it, because Daniel hates anything Westbrook with a passion and well, because I was afraid Kai would get attached and get his heart broken."

"So you, Ryan and Bella knew about them this whole time?"

A slight cold feeling clutches my heart.

"Yeah, you do know how it started right? Sasha found them kissing in a cctv footage from her party. So everyone pretty much knew from day one."

Except me.

"Oh. Did he tell you why he chose to... continue their accidental situation?"

She shakes her head, her long brown hair bouncing.

"I think Kai likes Sam more than he lets on. However, he's holding back because Sam wants to keep things a secret."

I sip on my soda, contemplating her words.

"It's more confusing because Kai mentioned he liked someone else too," she says.

Bella looks at us both questioningly but Raven just smiles, shaking her head.

"He is crushing on someone else. He hasn't told me who it is yet. I think Sam made him get over that crush. We were all so surprised when he told us that he was into guys. He's literally never taken an interest in any guy except..."

She trails off and her expression morphs into something unreadable.

"Raven?"

Her eyes widen and jaw hangs open.

"How the fuck... did I not see that?!"

"Not see what?"

The bell goes off at that moment, making everyone rush out of the cafeteria. Raven stalks off, not waiting for me like she usually does. Kai sends me a look. I tell him wordlessly to follow her.

He frowns but goes after her anyway.

I have a feeling shit's about to go down.

*****

"She knows!"

After school, Kaiden catches upto me before I go to practice, pulling me into an empty class.

"She knows and now she's not talking to me!" he groans, fidgeting with his hair. His green eyes are narrowed.

"I knew I should have told her that day itself! Fuck, I didn't think she was smart enough to figure it out so quickly! Or...did you tell her?! You were talking during lunch!"

His tone isn't accusatory, just curious.

"Of course not. I don't know how much of our conversations you've told everyone else."

He sighs, suddenly looking guilty.

"Nothing."

"What?" I pause.

"I didn't tell anyone anything regarding you. I just... well, you barely trust people as it is. I am only just getting to know you fully. It took you a whole six months to trust me and that was because I was constantly on your back. I know you like your things private so... I didn't tell them anything. To them, you're just my best friend from camp."

He paces around, clutching the strap of his Dior bag.

"And I know I was telling you to not keep secrets from me but I am doing the same with Raven. I couldn't tell her anything about us without having to give out your past. I didn't think you'd be okay with that so I just kept her and everyone in the dark."

All this time he wanted to talk to his best friend but he didn't because... he respected my need for privacy?!

I grab his wrists and pull him into my arms. He melts into the hug, like he needed it, burying his head in my shoulder. I ruffle his hair, trying to soothe him.

"Thank you Kai, for being so understanding. I'm sorry you had to keep secrets from your friends because of me. Um, I think since she already knows, both of us need to give her a sane explanation. We owe her that much."

He hums, his warm breath makes my neck tingle.

"We do. But then, Bella deserves to know too, so does Ryan. I can't keep lying to my friends you know? I thought I could keep everything low key but I guess I can't."

Kai pulls away, meeting my gaze.

"Are you okay with that? They're not judgmental I promise. We can keep it hidden from Daniel though, I mean I don't know how he will react."

"Fine. Eventually we'll tell them. Let's start with Raven first," I smile.

His face lights up in relief and he looks almost angelic, his smile making his eyes crinkle.

Kaiden Pierce is one beautiful specimen. I don't know how the fuck I got so lucky.

"Thank fuck. I am usually good with secrets but not when it comes to my best friend!"

"You care way too much about me, you know that? You should have told her if it was bothering you so much!"

"I guess I didn't want to hurt either of you."

"Aw, you're such a softie, Kai-Pie!"I poke his soft cheek. "All that tough guy who punches bullies like Adrian is just a facade!"

He rolls his eyes, ears going red.

"Only for you," he says, smiling slightly, making my heart swell. I love him so much.

"Come on let's go, you have practice. We're going to Raven's after you're done."

I nod, following his warm hand tugging me outside the class. I would follow him anywhere if it meant he held my hand.

The corridors are empty as we make our way to the field.

His dark hair swishes slightly when he looks back, smiling. I don't know how I ended up with him and how this perfect person likes me.

"I love you," I whisper.

He blushes a bright red before pushing me away towards the gym lockers.

I can't help but wonder when he would say those words back.

******

The practice is gruelling, Coach is determined for one of us to get scouted at least. This next match is an important one of the season.

I get distracted quite a few times, watching Kai sitting in the bleachers. He's busy working, not really watching us play.

Max sidles up to me during stretching. I'm a sweaty mess even with the weather getting increasingly colder.

"You've been staring at him for too long to not be obvious, what's up?"

"What do you mean?!" I ask, flustered.

"Stop it Summers, you think I'm stupid?" he smirks.

My throat goes dry. Maybe I'm not as good at masking my emotions as I thought.

"It's nothing, we're not fighting anymore. I've just... I realised he's a good guy. Like, he's pushy and irritating sometimes but he always has best intentions."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Max nods.

"Believe it, I used to be a tad jealous of his and Bella's friendship. My jealousy is only toned down this year. But he can be really oblivious, he was never mean to me last year when all I did was try to keep him away from Bella. Then I realised he didn't see me being possessive at all!"

I laugh, shaking my head.

"He gives everyone benefit of the doubt."

"Yeah well, he's a good kid. Spoilt rotten but the kind of spoiled who showers people he's closest to in a lot of favours too," Max smiles, wiping the sweat off his dirty blonde hair.

"If you like him, you should tell him Nate."

"Wha - Who said anything about liking him?" I stutter pathetically.

"Nathan, come on. I heard about your past. I'm not judging. But it's pretty painfully obvious that you're into Kai."

"Wait - who told you about my past?" I frown, going red.

"I'm friends with Ana. Our parents do Easter together. She tells me everything. I'm just smart enough to not poke into people's businesses!" Max winks at me.

Oh. So he's known for a while. Shit.

"I appreciate you not telling anyone anything, Max. Thank you for that."

"Nah, that's okay. Seriously though, tell Kai. I don't know how he'll take it but at least you'll get some closure enough for you to focus on the damn game!" He teases.

I flip him off, walking towards the showers, a small smile on my lips.

I have got to stop acting like a lovesick puppy!

******

Raven crosses her arms, frowning at us from her white doorway. Her brothers look out of the living room window curiously.

"Why are you here? Don't you have things to do, like sneak behind my back?"

Kai sighs, running his fingers through his hair, a habit of mine he seems to be catching on.

"Raven!" he whines, pouting.

If looks could kill, Kai would be in the deepest level of hell.

"Go away, both of you, I mean it. I'm not ready to face either of you," she mutters, playing with a fray on her sweater.

Her voice shakes and Kai steps forward to hug her but hesitates.

"Look, I understand why you don't want to listen but it's actually my fault," I say, making both of them turn to me. "Not Kai's. So maybe listen to him at least?"

"We're both at fault, okay?" Kai says firmly. "Raven, we're extremely sorry! Just please hear me out?"

It's impossible that his puppy face won't work on her! She bites her lip, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Fine, come in," she sighs.

I follow Kai inside. Her home is pretty, with minimalist decor, giving a calm vibe. It's light, airy and cosy, unlike Kai's sleek interiors.

After a small introduction with her Mum, a beautiful slim Indian woman and her two younger twin brothers, Ryder and Rhys, we head upstairs to her room.

"I always thought you're an only child!" I muse, waving at her brothers. They smile politely before going back to whatever it is they were doing.

"Yeah well, I was an only child for seven years," she says shortly, opening the door to her room. It's one of the three on the upper floor.

Kai is quiet, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeves. I grab his fingers and squeeze them. He looks up, with big round eyes. I smile at him reassuringly.

Raven sits on the chair at her desk. The air is rather tight.

"I'm sorry Raven. I know it's no excuse, but I swear I wanted to tell you!" Kai starts in a small voice.

"When?! God, Kai, all the times I've gushed about...him....," she rolls her eyes pointing to me. "You didn't feel like telling me once?!"

"I - well, I didn't know how! Not without making that smile disappear! I watched you get happy just by thinking about him!"

Man this is awkward. At least they're complimenting me.

"Oh, so keeping it to yourself and crushing on him behind my back was going to keep the smile?! You're my best friend Kaiden, you're supposed to tell me things no matter how fucked up!"

"I know! I wanted to! Trust me. But it's not exactly an everyday topic yeah? What was I gonna say? Um, the guy you talk about like he put the stars in the sky, he likes me?! Yeah, right."

I almost smile at the sarcasm.

Raven sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Raven, I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional, I swear. It was only a crush. I didn't think anything would happen ahead!"

"It's partly because I asked him not to tell." I cut in.

She turns to me, eyes softening.

"I wanted to tell you myself, actually. I didn't want to lead you on. Although I hadn't planned on telling you that I like Kaiden, I was going to tell you that we couldn't happen."

She chuckles dryly. She's taking this better than the mess of tears and dramatic yelling I had expected.

"Kaiden was going mad trying to keep it from you but I don't want anyone to find out. Partly because of my awful past and partly because... well, that's on him. So don't be mad at him, he was only being considerate towards me."

Her gaze rests on our entwined fingers.

"I can't even be mad, because I understand." She sighs after a while of silence.

Kai looks up, a hopeful gleam in his mesmerizing green eyes. Raven smiles softly, looking even prettier.

"Honestly, I should have seen it before. I'm sorry I made you think you couldn't tell me such an important thing, Kai baby!"

She walks to him and wraps her arms around his neck.

Kai tears up instantly, making my heart clench. He buries his head in her stomach, arms around her waist. She kisses his hair.

"I'm sorry! I really am!" Kai says, muffled.

"It's okay, I understand. I'm just glad you're happy."

He pulls away and she kneels in front of him, wiping away his tears. Kai smiles, sniffling.

"Bitch, you made me fucking cry," He pouts.

Raven laughs.

"Aw come on, you've always been a cry baby."

"Fuck you, I'm not!" He giggles, pushing her away.

Raven flicks his forehead and they both laugh.

It's such a heartfelt interaction and I understand why she's his closest friend. Kai isn't afraid to be vulnerable around her. She truly cares for him and he does too. I'm glad they have each other. And even though I have no guilt, I can't help but feel a little bad for her.

She turns to me, still unable to meet my eyes.

"Are you... dating then? How long has it been?"

"Well, it's literally only been two days."

"Oh thank God, that's all?! I thought you hid it from me for weeks!" She yells, suddenly smiling wide.

I will never understand females.

"Wait, who confessed first? I bet it was Kai!"

He goes red and tells her to shut up.

"Aw man, I'm probably the only one single in our group now!"

"Don't worry babygirl, you'll find your charming soon enough," Kai says.

"Charming is so yesterday, I want a Duke on a black horse!"

"Oh fuck, did you finally watch Bridgerton then?!"

They bicker and I watch, a warmth spreading in my chest.

I'm glad Raven is not flipping out. It made me respect her a lot more. And I'm happier that Kai doesn't have to tread carefully with her anymore.

That us, together, is at least somewhat an actuality. I feel like it's been a dream.

I don't think I'm going to let him go. Ever.