Chapter 62

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Whenever I'm around Noah and Maggie, it's only ever a good time. An escape from my fears and reservations. And for that, I'll forever be thankful to them. Thankful to them for accepting me into their home. Thankful to them for accepting me into their lives.

I didn't know Noah was such a good cook. He made burgers, corn on the cob, grilled vegetables, and rosemary potatoes. My favorite, though, was the chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Noah helped Maggie make them from scratch.

Dessert was followed by a game of Monopoly, and it wasn't long until Maggie fell asleep on the couch.

After we tuck her in, I instinctively make my way towards Noah's room, but he stops me.

"Wait," he grabs my hand and says. "I wanna show you something."

I follow him to the kitchen where he grabs a woven basket from the pantry and fills it with a blanket, lantern, and left-over chocolate chip cookies.

"Where are we going?" I ask him.

"It's a surprise," he smiles.

I should've known better than to ask. Noah and his damn surprises. But, who am I to complain?

He interlocks our fingers and leads me into the backyard, but we don't stop there. Instead, we pass the swing set and make our way closer to the water.

Noah pulls open the latch of a wooden gate that leads to a sandy beach, and my eyes immediately fall onto the sparkling water.

"Woah," is all I can say as I take in the view. The stars illuminate the sky and the only sound I hear is the waves hitting the sand.

I follow Noah to a bare spot, where he lays out the blanket and turns on the lantern. He sits before I do, and I position myself in between his legs so that his arms hang over my knees.

"My favorite place," he whispers into my ear as we look out at the water. I angle my head so that it falls onto his shoulder, and when I do, Noah looks down and plants a soft kiss to my cheek.

We enjoy the silence for a few minutes before I pick my head back up to look at him.

"What?" he laughs when he sees me smirking at him.

"That day at Val's, when you invited me to Justin's party...remember what I told you?" Noah looks at me, trying to catch on. "It was after I had agreed to go the party. I said..."

Finally, Noah nods with a smirk, and I know that he knows where I'm going with this.

"...You said you'd go on one condition," he completes my sentence for me.

"That's right! I told you I'd get back to you," I smile. "And now I know what I want."

"You sure about that?" he asks, and I nod. "So, what will it be then?"

"Your tattoos." I run my fingers along his arm. "You have two of them. One on your ribcage and one on your upper arm." I stop trailing once my fingers get closer to the ink. "What do they mean?"

Noah simpers at me and I can tell that I'm pushing him out of his comfort zone by asking. But, Noah and I don't have secrets. Not anymore.

"You really want to know?" he asks, looking down at me, hoping that I'll change my mind. But I'm not budging.

"I really want to know."

He lifts the sleeve on his t-shirt slightly to showcase the one on his arm first. "Charles. Edward. Collins," he says as he presses his finger against each letter. "That's my dad's name." Noah pauses, closing his eyes for just a second before opening them. "Believe it or not, I almost strayed away from the idea of getting it permanently inked on my body. I thought a coward like him didn't deserve the recognition. But then I got my second one, 050707," he says, dropping his sleeve back down and pulling the hem of his shirt up so that I can see his ribcage. "May 7th, 2007. The day he left us. The last time that I ever saw him."

"I came home from the tattoo parlor that day and my mom wanted to disown me for actually going through with it. She bawled me out for not getting something more innocent like a stupid quote that I knew would hold no meaning to my life. I mean, I wanted something that was going to motivate me. Something that was going to serve as a constant reminder that I always needed to do better. To be better. I figured my dad walking out on us would do the trick."

I can't help but trace my index finger along the numbers as I take in what Noah's telling me. "What are you thinking?" he asks.

"Nothing," I shake my head. "I just wasn't expecting that."

"Believe it or not, you're the only other person that knows about the meaning behind my tattoos besides my mom. Thankfully, no one's ever asked. Not even Justin. And, Maggie...well, she's too young. I might tell her someday."

Noah turns his head to look out at the water and I use it as my opportunity to take in his side profile. Damn, he's gorgeous. You'd think I'd be used to his model looks by now, but, nope, they'll never get old.

"I can't even imagine," I say, as the waves continue to crash.

"What?" Noah asks.

"Hating my dad."

There's a long pause after that, and part of me wonders if I should've kept that little confession to myself.

"I hope you never have to," he finally says. "What's your dad like?"

"He's great," I say. "Just a good guy who wants the best for his family. Mom knows how to get to him, but at the end of the day he's like this big teddy bear who just wants to see his kids happy. He's also humble. Super humble. He never boasts or brags. He's always been there for me, which is why I feel like I need to make him proud, you know? Get good grades, go to GWU, major in Business. I don't want to disappoint him."

"I'm sure he's proud of you, Fee," Noah says as he latches onto my arm and rubs my hand with his thumb. "I don't think there's anything you could ever do to let him down."

"You'd be surprised," I say. "I will admit, though, he's way more understanding than my mom."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know." I look around the beach. "My younger brother Jacob was dating this girl Sarah in high school. She was super sweet, but her parents were divorced, and she didn't come from a lot of money. Her mom had a really bad reputation. She was arrested a few times for drug possession, but Sarah was the nicest girl in town. She was always smiling, and more importantly, she made Jacob happy. That didn't mean anything to my mom, though. She refused to let them be together and made them break up. But when Jacob didn't listen and ran away from home, she made my dad cut him off just to teach him a lesson. Surprisingly, that wasn't the worst part. She convinced my dad to pull Jacob out of school to keep him from seeing Sarah. My parents homeschooled Jacob for a couple of months until he promised to stay away from her. It was really bad, and it messed Jacob up." I pause for a minute, remembering the heartbreak Jacob went through. I could cry just thinking about it. Seeing Jacob like that — emotionally weak and exhausted — killed me. "And Liam, well, he's always tried to do right by my parents, but he's definitely had his fair share of rebellious moments. Nothing compared to Jacob, though."

Noah stops rubbing my arm and I can sense that his body has become more tense. His dimple comes into view as he looks ahead, but his gaze remains cold, and my eyes stay fixated on the sharpness of his jaw as he pulls his knees away from my body.

"That must be hard," he says.

"What?"

"Being forced to stay away from someone you love."

I wait for Noah to look at me, but he doesn't. Instead, he keeps his head down at the sand, and I know exactly what he's doing. He's doubting this.

Us.

"Hey," I call out, turning my body around so that I can see him fully, even though his eyes remain down. "We're nothing like Jacob and Sarah." He refuses to look at me, so, I continue. "Forget I said anything, okay?"

He finally brings his gaze to me and I look at him with a pleading expression. "Okay," he quietly says.

He places his palms on the sand to steady himself as he leans in to give me a short but sweet kiss.

"Ready to go back in?" he asks. Noah offers me his hand to take once he stands up, and we make our way back inside the house.

But something tells me that he's not going to let this go.


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